Gordon: Ryan has left us for therapy. While that is going on, Chico has a new game. Ready to explain it, Chico?
Chico: Yes I am, Geoff. It's called We Love to Interrupt's VS. And it's your
classic "who's better in what" battle.
Gordon: The 8 Ball spell has left me. I can think again. Now that I have my
GSNN card back, Chico, would you like to explain the game?
Chico: We'll have six categories of two aspects each. We'll gauge those
individually and come up with a winner. Today's battle: The Benefactor's Mark Cuban vs. The Apprentice's Donald Trump.
Jason: (ding ding)
Chico: Let's get it on! First category: The Name....
Gordon: How can you not like Trump as a name? Trump in itself is used to mean to take over or to outclass. (Ad yes, I am glad that Aldo isn't here to argue the other side).
Chico: Also lent its name to one of three memorable games in 1990. The other two being The Challengers and Monopoly.
Jason: Besides, Trumpster sounds better than Cubanmeister.
Chico: This one goes to Trump (Cuban 0, Trump 1) Next: day job.
Jason: Hmmm... dealing with whiny pro athletes or dealing with whiny
contractors? 
Chico: Mark: Owner of the Dallas Mavericks. Donald: Owner of anything with the word Trump in it. I'd go for the athletes myself.
Gordon: I wouldn't want to stare at sweaty contractors for 2-3 hours for 82 times. Gotta go with Cuban.
Jason: Yep...ditto.
Chico: This one goes to Cuban (Cuban 1, Trump 1) Next up: The game. The Benefactor: a series of tests for 16 candidates in which one wins $1,000,000. The Apprentice: a series of tests for 18 candidates in which one wins a job with Trump.
Gordon: Hmmm looking at smart people try to win a cool job, or looking at
people grovel in a meaningless game where no one knows the rules. Let's go with the semblance of a game and Donald.
Chico: This goes back to "giving a man a fish" vs. "teaching a man to fish."
Jason: Oh come on... can you picture Trump watching someone play Jenga?
Chico: I could.. but the tower would have to be T-shaped.
Jason: And it would have to be "Trumpga" or something like that
Chico: "My game of Jenga is the best game in the world."
Jason: Human Jenga doesn't count.
Joe: How pray tell do you play that? Lots of naked women?
Jason: I hope so.
Gordon: I'll bring the Coconut Oil.
Jason: (See, I told you I'd get Gordon to the point of our censors.) :)
Gordon: Well, that wouldn't be censoring. Now if I added the pornos and the troja...
Chico: Gordon, for the 1146th time... that was NOT a challenge!
Gordon: We're keeping count, aren't we?
Jason: I passed that on to Chico when WLTI started, yes.
Chico: This one is obviously a draw. Unless of course... it isn't. I'm not
quite sure of anything. Let's give it to the Donald. (Cuban 1, Donald 2)
Gordon: Before I get this canned - next subject?
Chico: Target audiences is next. Cuban: The geeks and other counter-cultural revolutionaries... Ours included. Trump: The masses.... Anything with the masses can't be good...
Gordon: The Apprentice is going after all ages. I don't know what Cuban is
targeting. Gotta go with Trump.
Chico: This is your personal opinion, right?
Jason: Are we sure that 8-ball Stacie is targeting all ages?
Gordon: Well, you would think that they would be targeting the young
audience, but where they put The Benefactor, it isn't being shown in a good chunk of the country at the 8pm time thanks to football.
Chico: It's being shown AFTERWARDS.
Jason: which is targeting the drunk post-MNF crowd?
Gordon: Not in all of the US. On parts of the Pacific Time Zone, it's being
shifted to Tuesdays.
Chico: I didn't know that.
Gordon: I'm sure the drunk MNF crowd can't wait to see the Benefactor. Besides, I think that after football, you'd turn it to Sportscenter - especially
since there are some major baseball races going on.
Jason: I'm not sure either show has a real target audience, except for "as
many people as possible."
Chico: I still like the idea that these people know Mark Cuban for his geek
ventures... But by default, this one is a draw. So we go to the next subject: Fun Fact. With Trump, you lead your casinos into double bankruptcy. With Cuban, you lead the Dallas Mavericks into contender position.
Jason: This may sound crazy, but advantage Trump.
Chico: Care to explain that one?
Jason: Because he may be leading the casinos into the depths... but no one seems to mind.
Chico: Except comics looking for material.
Jason: Which benefits Last Comic Standing. So everyone wins!
Gordon: Well, his casinos are less than 2% of his actual wealth, while the
Mavericks, which is Cuban's pride and joy, is where most of his money is.
Chico: "I want to be just like Trump... so I can lead my casinos into double
bankruptcy"...
Gordon: I gotta agree - who else can lead a whole bunch of casinos into
bankruptcy? That takes talent.
Jason: Yes, but that meant you *had* casinos to lead into double bankruptcy.
Gordon: And I still have 98% of my worth - so I can buy MORE casinos!
Chico: Looking back... That's gotta go to Trump... May be sick and sadistic,
but it's valid.
Jason: Also proves he's at least cyborg. Maybe even human.
Chico: (Cuban 1, Donald 3) Or at least Titan. Last category... the push.
Today's Push: catch phrase. Cuban: "You've just blown your shot at a million dollars."
Gordon: I personally preferred his quote of 'No Balls, No Babies'.
Jason: Yeah, that was great. LOL
Chico: In that case... Cuban: "No balls, no babies." Trump: "You're fired."
Hmmm.. Both sound equally as crushing.
Gordon: I'll have to go with Mark, just simply because its original, and we
all know where Trump's quote came from. Even before Vincent K. McMahon...
Jason: Even if I do cringe in pain when I hear Cuban say it.
Joe: Yeah, really. I like Vince's delivery of "you're fired" better myself.
Chico: I don't know. I'm a fan of brevity.
Jason: or Spacely. :)
Gordon: I remember that quote from Mr Spacely. Jetson! Yoooooooouuuuurrrre FIRED!
Jason: oh Lord...Gordon and I with the same thought. Shoot me now.
Gordon: Would you like to hold the 8 Ball, Jason?
Jason: NO!
Chico: Hold on. I gotta show this...It's an LJ icon I made...
Joe: ROFLMAO
Jason: I think Trump should do that. :)
Gordon: That's so precious
Joe: I like it.
Jason: Why do I look at that and think: "Spacely: Steamin' mad at dirt."
Gordon: Aldo is here. Let's ask Aldo - Which character does the best You're Fired - Donald Trump, Vincent McMahon or the Jetson's Mr. Spacely?
Aldo: Vincent Kennedy MCMAHON!!! "Austin........... UR FIREEEEEEEEEEDDd"
Gordon: So Trump is last with his own catchphrase - Gotta give it to Cuban.
Chico: Because he has a low opinion of George. Okay, that's VS, as Mark Cuban is literally one-upped by Donald Trump, 3-2. Coming up, the Big Finish and the Biggest Big Five... ever. How's my Trump impersonation?
Jason: Don't quit your day job, C...
Chico: Oh well. Can't win'em all. We're back after this.


(Sponsored by Play for Ken Jennings's Billion. 200 Players will be called and
one of them will have to face Jennings with Pepsi's money at stake. Special
appearances by Mark Cuban and Donald Trump)

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