September 27, 2004
Gordon: Ryan has left us
for therapy. While that is going on, Chico has a new
game. Ready to explain it, Chico?
Chico: Yes I am, Geoff. It's called We Love to
Interrupt's VS. And it's your
classic "who's better in what" battle.
Gordon: The 8 Ball spell has left me. I can think again.
Now that I have my
GSNN card back, Chico, would you like to explain the
Chico: We'll have six categories of two aspects each.
We'll gauge those
individually and come up with a winner. Today's battle:
The Benefactor's Mark Cuban
vs. The Apprentice's Donald Trump.
Jason: (ding ding)
Chico: Let's get it on! First category: The Name....
Gordon: How can you not like Trump as a name? Trump in
itself is used to mean
to take over or to outclass. (Ad yes, I am glad that
Aldo isn't here to argue
the other side).
Chico: Also lent its name to one of three memorable
games in 1990. The other two being The Challengers and
Jason: Besides, Trumpster sounds better than
Chico: This one goes to
Trump (Cuban 0, Trump 1) Next: day job.
Jason: Hmmm... dealing with whiny pro athletes or dealing
Chico: Mark: Owner of the Dallas Mavericks. Donald:
Owner of anything with
the word Trump in it. I'd go for the athletes myself.
Gordon: I wouldn't want to stare at sweaty contractors
for 2-3 hours for 82
times. Gotta go with Cuban.
Chico: This one goes to Cuban (Cuban 1, Trump 1) Next
up: The game. The
Benefactor: a series of tests for 16 candidates in which
one wins $1,000,000. The Apprentice: a series of tests for 18
candidates in which one wins
a job with Trump.
Gordon: Hmmm looking at smart people try to win a cool
job, or looking at
people grovel in a meaningless game where no one knows
the rules. Let's go with
the semblance of a game and Donald.
Chico: This goes back to "giving a man a fish" vs.
"teaching a man to fish."
Jason: Oh come on... can you picture Trump watching
someone play Jenga?
Chico: I could.. but the tower would have to be
Jason: And it would have to be "Trumpga" or something
Chico: "My game of Jenga is the best game in the world."
Jason: Human Jenga doesn't count.
Joe: How pray tell do you play that? Lots of naked
Jason: I hope so.
Gordon: I'll bring the Coconut Oil.
Jason: (See, I told you I'd get Gordon to the point of
our censors.) :)
Gordon: Well, that wouldn't be censoring. Now if I added
the pornos and the
Chico: Gordon, for the 1146th time... that was NOT a
Gordon: We're keeping count, aren't we?
Jason: I passed that on to Chico when WLTI started, yes.
Chico: This one is obviously a draw. Unless of course...
it isn't. I'm not
quite sure of anything. Let's give it to the Donald.
(Cuban 1, Donald 2)
Gordon: Before I get this canned - next subject?
Chico: Target audiences is next. Cuban: The geeks and
revolutionaries... Ours included. Trump: The
masses.... Anything with the
masses can't be good...
Gordon: The Apprentice is going after all ages. I don't
know what Cuban is
targeting. Gotta go with Trump.
Chico: This is your personal opinion, right?
Jason: Are we sure that 8-ball Stacie is targeting all
Gordon: Well, you would think that they would be
targeting the young
audience, but where they put The Benefactor, it isn't
being shown in a good chunk of
the country at the 8pm time thanks to football.
Chico: It's being shown AFTERWARDS.
Jason: which is targeting the drunk post-MNF crowd?
Gordon: Not in all of the US. On parts of the Pacific
Time Zone, it's being
shifted to Tuesdays.
Chico: I didn't know that.
Gordon: I'm sure the drunk MNF crowd can't wait to see
the Benefactor. Besides, I think that after football, you'd turn it to
Sportscenter - especially
since there are some major baseball races going on.
Jason: I'm not sure either show has a real target
audience, except for "as
many people as possible."
Chico: I still like the idea that these people know Mark
Cuban for his geek
ventures... But by default, this one is a draw. So we go to
the next subject: Fun
Fact. With Trump, you lead your casinos into double
bankruptcy. With Cuban, you
lead the Dallas Mavericks into contender position.
Jason: This may sound crazy, but advantage Trump.
Chico: Care to explain that one?
Jason: Because he may be leading the casinos into the
depths... but no one
seems to mind.
Chico: Except comics looking for material.
Jason: Which benefits Last Comic Standing. So everyone
Gordon: Well, his casinos are less than 2% of his actual
wealth, while the
Mavericks, which is Cuban's pride and joy, is where most
of his money is.
Chico: "I want to be just like Trump... so I can lead my
casinos into double
Gordon: I gotta agree - who else can lead a whole bunch
of casinos into
bankruptcy? That takes talent.
Jason: Yes, but that meant you *had* casinos to lead
into double bankruptcy.
Gordon: And I still have 98% of my worth - so I can buy
Chico: Looking back... That's gotta go to Trump... May
be sick and sadistic,
but it's valid.
Jason: Also proves he's at least cyborg. Maybe even
Chico: (Cuban 1, Donald 3) Or at least Titan. Last
category... the push.
Today's Push: catch phrase. Cuban: "You've just blown
your shot at a million
Gordon: I personally preferred his quote of 'No Balls,
Jason: Yeah, that was great. LOL
Chico: In that case... Cuban: "No balls, no babies."
Trump: "You're fired."
Hmmm.. Both sound equally as crushing.
Gordon: I'll have to go with Mark, just simply because
its original, and we
all know where Trump's quote came from. Even before
Vincent K. McMahon...
Jason: Even if I do cringe in pain when I hear Cuban say
Joe: Yeah, really. I like Vince's delivery of "you're
fired" better myself.
Chico: I don't know. I'm a fan of brevity.
Jason: or Spacely. :)
Gordon: I remember that quote from Mr Spacely. Jetson!
Jason: oh Lord...Gordon and I with the same thought.
Shoot me now.
Gordon: Would you like to hold the 8 Ball, Jason?
Chico: Hold on. I gotta show this...It's an LJ
icon I made...
Jason: I think Trump should do that. :)
Gordon: That's so precious
Joe: I like it.
Jason: Why do I look at that and think: "Spacely:
Steamin' mad at dirt."
Gordon: Aldo is here. Let's ask Aldo - Which character
does the best You're Fired - Donald Trump, Vincent McMahon or the Jetson's
Aldo: Vincent Kennedy MCMAHON!!! "Austin........... UR
Gordon: So Trump is last with his own catchphrase -
Gotta give it to Cuban.
Chico: Because he has a low opinion of George. Okay,
that's VS, as Mark Cuban
is literally one-upped by Donald Trump, 3-2. Coming up,
the Big Finish and
the Biggest Big Five... ever. How's my Trump
Jason: Don't quit your day job, C...
Chico: Oh well. Can't win'em all. We're back after this.
by Play for Ken Jennings's Billion. 200 Players will be
one of them will have to face Jennings with Pepsi's
money at stake. Special
appearances by Mark Cuban and Donald Trump)
HERE to continue