Gordon: If you just joined us, you missed the Magic 8 Ball, human Jenga and Ralph Fiennes playing Ken Jennings.
Chico: And Screech playing Trebek.
Joe: ROFLMAO
Gordon: But you are here just in time for me, Chico, Jason, Joe and Aldo
discussing the FINAL Big 5. Before we do that, Chico, what was last week's results?
Chico: Okay, if you remember, last time, we had biggest bombs.
Gordon: Not counting Gigli
Joe: Tell me Card Sharks 2001 was Number One. PLEASE.
Chico: I have results in my hand... Serious lights... Serious music... And
here we go. You know... I'm going to do this differently.
Gordon: Boooooommmmmmmmmm
Chico: All-American Girl... You switched networks and had a British judge.
America voted... ... you are NOT in the Big Five.
Jason: (note to viewers: the American Idol theme is not serious music.)
Gordon: In homage to the real Ryan, who isn't with us right now.
Chico: All New 3's a Crowd. Aside from the fact that it was "Three's a Crowd", it wasn't THAT bad. America voted... you are NOT in the Big Five...
Gordon: So it's now in the crowd of 5. The 5 that didn't get it
Chico: The Player... Everyone thought it was stupid. America voted... Also
NOT in the big five. Cupid... Everyone thought the girl was stupid... America
voted.... NOT in the Big Five. Finally, Forever Eden... liquored up happy fun... Stupid people. America voted... NOT in the Big Five. The Big Five are... a tie at 4th... ARE YOU HOT and BURT LUDDIN'S LOVE BUFFET.
Gordon: Yay
Joe: LMAO
Chico: In at 3rd... THE CHAMBER. Number two... MARRIED BY AMERICA.
Joe: YES! Card Sharks 2001 is the dog!
Chico: You said it! 50% of the vote.
Gordon: I would just like to point out that even though the chart was filled
with reality shows a STUDIO SHOW was voted the worst.
Joe: Coincidence.
Gordon: Uhhhhh...Huh
Chico: So there are worst things than stupid reality show... An even stupider redux.
Jason: And Pat Bullard.
Chico: True that.
Gordon: Pat Dullard?
Joe: Indeed.
Chico: Hi. I'm Pat Bullard and I have a plastic smile.
Joe: Wouldn't that be Pat Finn?
Jason: Hey don't knock plastic smiles...
Gordon: The smile matches the plastic on the 8 ball. Maybe Pat was playing with it.
Joe: ROFL
Chico: Okay, lowball, it's time for a reversal. Today, it's the BEST of the
best. Biggest Show in the Past Five Years. Each of us gets four. I get four.
Jason gets four. Joe gets four. Gordon gets four. The departed Ryan left us four. Aldo, you want four, too?
Aldo: That's cool
Chico: So that's 24 there... And we're going to whittle it down to 10. But
first, Ryan's picks, Gordon?
Gordon: Ryan sent the picks to me via Canadian Mountie.
Jason: I figured that you just made them up with the 8-ball...
Chico: It's how he makes all his decisions. That and multi-hued wheel.
Jason: That explains so much.
Gordon: That's not true - I use a bowling ball to make my decisions.
Jason: That explains even more.
Chico: Okay, Gordon, Ryan's choices?
Gordon: The pins that I leave on the lane determines my decisions
Chico: Hate to see what happens with a 7-10 split.
Jason: *ouch*
Gordon: That would mean not a chance in Todd Santos's TV's acting career. Ryan's picks - 1. Millionaire, 2. The Weakest Link, 3. Amazing Race, 4. Joe Millionaire. His rationale for Joe Millionaire - How much can one person lie?
Chico: A lot. Politicians have made careers of it.
Gordon: Next?
Chico: Jason, I think it's on you....
Jason: Well, anybody who knows the first thing about the history of GSNN
knows what my first pick is... everyone all together now...
Group in Unison: Greed.
Jason: Yep.
Joe: Big Chuck Dogg rules.
Chico: Yay-YAY!
Jason: Of course, everything else I put in the pot will be lesser :) But...
My other three would have to be: 2. Twenty One (gotta get back on Ben Tritle's good side)
Chico: I think all is forgiven. Free tickets to Street Smarts and all.
Jason: 3. The Mole (a thinking man's game)
Gordon: Ben's the man
Jason: And I'm torn for my fourth pick...
Chico: 7-10 split time.
Jason: But I'm going to throw in one of the 'losers' just because I want to
see it get cut.
Aldo: Don't gutter
Gordon: well, since you're the guru, we'll give you a 5th selection, but just
for you.
Jason: 4. The Chamber.
Gordon: AH HA! It's a Gordon strategy!
Chico: Although I don't approve of it.
Gordon: I'm glad SOMEONE around here respects my strategic mind! =) =) =)
Chico: I'm trying to keep this as real possible.
Jason: Only because it pushed the limits (of taste). That's why it gets a nod from me.
Chico: Ah. Right.
Gordon: We giving Jay a 5th selection?
Jason: If we are, throw in Beg, Borrow, Deal. If not, don't. :)
Chico: I want to see what he'll do with it. Besides, it'll even the field to
25
Gordon: Lets throw it in ok - that's 5 - Aldo?
Aldo: EWWWW. Have there been any good shows? Millionaire
Chico: There've been a couple... That's one.
Aldo: Fear Factor, the only one I actually watch.
Chico: There's another one.
Aldo: I'm gonna go a different route.
Chico: Interesting.
Aldo: World Poker Tour. And the best show of the past 5 years... OUTBACK JACK!!
Gordon: Decoys, Decoys everywhere....
Chico: So let's all get drunk.
Aldo: Too late.
Chico: HAHA
Gordon: OK - Joe - it's up to you - you're next
Chico: Belly up to the bar, Mr. van Ginkel.
Joe: Hoo boy, this is gonna be a toughie. Let's go with... 1) Russian
Roulette 2) Lingo 3) Whammy: The All New Press Your Luck 4) Celebrity Poker Showdown. Wow. That's WASN'T so hard after all.
Gordon: Once you get down to it - Chico?
Chico: Well, I'm flying under the radar with two. First two are... American
Idol... and 2-Minute Drill.
Joe: One is. One isn't.
Chico: Yeah... I'll leave it to you to decide which. The other two .. Weakest
Link and To Tell the Truth. Again, one is, one isn't.
Gordon: Cool. I guess its up to me?
Chico: Sure as hell is.
Jason: Use the 8-ball...
Gordon: Well, I'm shocked that NO ONE Mentioned Survivor, so That goes in. The Apprentice goes in. Let's toss in a studio show....hmmm...Street Smarts. Now THAT'S how you get on Ben's good side (being that he works there and all).
Chico: Okay, one more.
Gordon: Finally..... I'll be a bit goofy. Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
Jason: Shoot. I lost my bet.
Chico: Is that even legal? I'll have to go to the judges...
Gordon: It's a game.
Joe: Ding.
Chico: Okay, we'll take it.
Gordon: What bet, Jason?
Jason: I bet Chico you'd pick The Littlest Groom :)
Chico: You owe me a buck, Jason. :-)
Jason: Yep. Worth it though.
Gordon: You guys had enough decoys that I figured you didn't need any of
mine. I would have made my decoy Man Vs, Beast, BTW
Chico: Okay, 23 of 25... We can add two more
Jason: Throw in Dream Job for me.
Chico: Okay, one more from open call.
Joe: How about Family Feud?
Chico: That works. We have 25.
Gordon: OK
Chico: You want to hear 'em?
Gordon: Recap, please
Joe: Do it.

Amazing Race, American Idol, The Apprentice, Beg, Borrow & Deal, The Chamber, Celebrity Poker Showdown, Dream Job, Extreme Dodgeball, Family Feud, Fear Factor, Greed, Joe Millionaire, Lingo, The Mole, MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, Outback Jack, Russian Roulette, Street Smarts, Survivor, To Tell the Truth, Twenty One, 2-Minute Drill, Weakest Link, Whammy!, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, World Poker Tour

Chico: Now the fun begins. It's time to play the Spoiler Round.
Gordon: I feel spoiled.
Jason: That's what the 8-ball will do to ya.
Joe: Let's get ready to SUCK IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Chico: Go spoiler, it's your birthday, we're gon' spoil like it's your birthday...
Joe: Actually... tomorrow IS my birthday.
Chico: Happy happy, Joe :-)
Joe: :-D
Gordon: Happy birthday to you.
Jason: I think that means Joe goes first :)
Chico: I guess so...
Joe: TY. How many picks do we get to toss?
Chico: We cut until we can't cut no more.
Joe: Be more specific.
Chico: Going from 25 to ten. There are five of us, so that's 15 cuts... each
one of us gets three.
Joe: Three cuts... Number one: Survivor, of course. (Sorry Gordon.)
Gordon: Just remember that I pick last =)
Jason: The Joe has spoken.
Chico: Time for you to go...
Joe: Number two: Outback Jack (I've never heard of it!)
Jason: Hit the road, Jack.
Joe: Number three: The Chamber (probably the only show on this list actually worse than Survivor).
Chico: Alright. The Joe has spoken. Next to the Jason.
Jason: okay... I've got to cut MXC.
Chico: Awwww.. Why?
Joe: Awww.
Jason: If we had to have the judges determine its validity, it doesn't need
to be in our BIG five.
Joe: Okay. That makes sense.
Chico: K.
Jason: Then I've got to cut Joe Millionaire... not because of Joe Millionaire
1, but because of Joe Millionaire 2.
Chico: Excuse me while I scream..
Joe: Get the earplugs, Jack.
Chico: *supersonic dog scream*
Jason: Whew... glad that's over.
Chico: Yeah... That was liberating...
Jason: And staying on the lying theme, let's dump TTTT.
Chico: Any reason why?
Jason: other than the theme music I will never get out of my head, it wasn't too memorable. Plus it had Ant.
Chico: And Paula Poundstone. But hey, it wasn't as bad as what Card Sharks got. So I'm not complaining.
Jason: Agreed.
Joe: Good point. I kinda liked TTTT.
Chico: That kinda restored my faith in the FremantleMedia bracket... kinda... One more, please.
Jason: I thought I only got three...
Chico: Oh.. that WAS three. Sorry. Aldo, then?
Jason: :: suspends Chico's GSNN card ::
Gordon: I'm glad we have Equal Card Suspension Opportunity.
Joe: lol
Aldo: I'm still crying over Outback Jack getting eliminated.
Chico: Lucky for us... I have a spare...
Joe: Sorry, Aldo.
Aldo: Family Feud.
Chico: I blame Louie.
Aldo: Eliminate The Mole and ... Lingo.
Chico: Ah. So it's The Mole and Lingo...
Joe: YOU'RE GONNA TOSS LINGO?!?!?!?! You bunt.
Chico: Forgive him. He's new.
Aldo: Hey you took survivor I would have dumped that, but in your haste...
Joe: Well, at least we agree on that.
Jason: Okay C-man... take control of the chopping block.
Chico: Hwaaaaaaah!
Joe: Chico the Man!
Chico: Alright, being brief... Apprentice. Season 1 took off. Season 2 took a dive. That, and it's basically a chip off Survivor equals... bye bye. From
there... it gets harder... Twenty One was poorly executed.... So that's gone. Sorry, Ben. And the hardest cut of all... It comes down to one word... Celebrity Poker Showdown. Sorry, Joe.
Joe: I didn't expect that to stay on there.
Jason: So much for 'the first cut is the deepest'
Chico: It's good, you know... but I have a principle when it comes to these
things.
Joe: BTW, that's THREE words. ;P
Chico: Yeah, but guess which one's the word of concern.
Joe: Lemme guess...does it start with C?
Chico: Yep
Joe: So I suspected.
Jason: Gordon's 8-ball said Showdown though
Chico: Okay, Gordon, 13 games, 10 spots
Gordon: lol
Joe: This one's gonna hurt...
Gordon: So Joe cut Survivor and left Fear Factor?
Chico: Basically
Gordon: Joe, what were you thinking?
Joe: Didn't take 21 off.
Jason: Besides that
Gordon: ok - this is tough
Joe: *Shrug* ;P
Gordon: ok - get rid of Beg Borrow and Deal - it doesn't fit
Aldo: FF MUST MOVE ON
Gordon: I recap Fear Factor - that one is staying.
Chico: No playing other's favorites.
Joe: It'll lose anyways.
Gordon: Get rid of Russian Roulette
Joe: I knew he'd do that. ;P
Gordon: You cut Survivor, I cut Russian Roulette. We already determined that.
Chico: With the guy that was on it in front of you no less.
Gordon: And get rid of,... Weakest Link. Sorry Ryan
Chico: So it all comes down to these:

Amazing Race, American Idol, Dream Job, Fear Factor, Greed, Street Smarts, 2-Minute Drill, Whammy!, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, World Poker Tour

Chico: Who gets the jack and who gives it back? It's on you guys now. You can vote all week on the front page.
Gordon: Good mix of shows
Joe: Indeed.
Jason: 2 ESPN shows on the list... interesting...
Chico: Premium Blend... Obviously they have a way with the game.
Jason: Of course, if you'd told me five years ago that we'd have a show from the Travel Channel on here...What a trip.
Chico: What a long and strange trip this has been.
Jason: ...and continues to be (Gordon!).
Chico: Okay, when we return, who gets kicked out of what in the Big Finish...

(Brought to you by the Apprentice 3 - GSNN. 18 People vie to be Gordon and Chico's Apprentice. Can you handle it?)

Jason: :: shudders at the thought of being Gordon's apprentice ::
Chico: I have actual tasks, while Gordon makes everyone wash his car.
Gordon: I have actual tasks. Playing Password and all night Halo tourneys are tasks =)
Chico: Wash, wax, AND rain-X
Jason: and don't forget Human Jenga.
Chico: Back to WLTI...I Just want to thank Aldo and Jason for sticking with
us.
Jason: Well, the Superglue left me no choice.
Chico: Also, big thanks to Ryan Vickers, Joe Van Ginkel, Big Aldo Villalona
and all GSNNers past and present. Yay. In alphabetical order: Jason Block,
Jennifer Campbell, Chris Cheatwood, Alex Davis, Travis Eberle, Rebecca Golden, Jason Hernandez, Brian Moore, Anthony Rojas and Josh Yawn.
Gordon: Also a thank you to special interviewees Steve Altes and Andy Aaron. Steve - can you get Curves of Steel to play some Human Jenga with us? =)
Chico: Speaking of Human Jenga... It's Big Finish time! Benefactor is going
to two a week, accuracy or idiocy?
Gordon: Accuracy - if you're looking to burn off the remaining 4 episodes
Jason: Ah. I'm with Gordon. Or maybe ABC has no balls, no babies.
Aldo: Some people wanna watch it, not a good idea putting it on Monday,
accurate.
Chico: Accuracy, indeed. Gives more of a pad, really ABC hasn't had a baby since 8 Simple Rules. Okay, Lost, maybe, but one swallow doesn't make a summer.
Gordon: They haven't had balls since Millionaire - which brings me to this -
when do we see Super Millionaire next?
Chico: I vote for November.
Jason: November. And maybe more often, if ABC lays a bunch of eggs with the new shows.
Aldo: Sooner the better
Chico: Okay, question for the group, what would you rather see...: a) A
renovation competition hosted by Mark Walberg... b) A stunt/game show hosted by George Gray... or c) a drag beauty pageant hosted by some no name guy...
Jason: can I pick d) Gordon Pepper's Love Buffet?
Chico: yes you can.
Aldo: lol
Gordon: D is good
Chico: But it'd totally ruin the bit =p
Aldo: I'll play it safe and say B
Jason: As a backup, I'd take A
Gordon: We'll go with B
Chico: A) is "The Mansion", starting October 2 on TBS. B) is "I'd Do Anything" starting THIS TUESDAY at 10pm on ESPN. And C) is "He's a Lady" starting October 12... also on TBS. So it's official... TBS is the new Fox.
Jason: I think TBS is starting to stand for something else. The viewer can
determine what for themselves. :)
Gordon: Don't forget Gilligan's Isle.
Chico: But is it a comp?
Aldo: Man, the commercials look so dull
Gordon: It's....something
Aldo: I'd Do Anything - a chick getting hit by dodgeballs. WOW
Chico: That'll make me watch.
Jason: if that's not excitement...
Aldo: Unless R Johnson or Pedro is pitching em, who cares, but shes got full gear on...helmet... chest protector .
Chico: One word... ICHIRO! Okay, big questions time. Apprentice. The wacko's gone. Who's next?
Gordon: The next wacko - Maria
Jason: I don't think Trump can stand having a contestant named Ivana for too long.
Chico: Especially if she's doing a piss-poor job.
Gordon: They both are - if it's the men, I think Pamela may be in deep doodoo.
Chico: Agreed.
Jason: Agreed, Gordon.
Aldo: You gotta keep some chicks, or guys ain't gonna watch.
Gordon: Not if they keep acting incompetent and losing challenges
Chico: And on the other Mark Burnett production? The shepherd's gone. Which sheep will follow suit?
Gordon: The black sheep, of course - bye bye Rory
Jason: Yep...Rory's baaaaaaaaad.
Chico: Three... two... one...
Gordon: On the women's side, its time to pick off the younguns - starting
with Ami.
Chico: Now last week you said the old women... What happened?
Gordon: Well, the younguns had the numbers - now the oldies did
Chico: So why did Dolly get the heave? Was her strategy of "befriend
everyone" a little TOO good?
Jason: her strategy of "I'm important; I'm the swing vote" was a little TOO
good. I expected a 3-3-3 tie though.
Gordon: If you don't convince a side that you're voting with them, then they will all vote against you.
Chico: Makes sense.
Gordon: See Brandon, Survivor 3 and Christy, Survivor 6
Chico: Yep. And as for the J! Tourney... Any favorites?
Gordon: Ken Je...wait, wrong tourney
Chico: Next year, dude.
Jason: I'm liking Vinita's chances.
Chico: Me too...
Gordon: I'll agree
Chico: I wanted either her or Keith to get into the Final... I think it's going to be either Vinita or Tom Walsh.
Jason: Works for me.
Chico: Tom was Ken Jennings before Ken Jennings was Ken Jennings.
Gordon: Carrot Top and Louie Anderson on LCS3 - Cool guests or desperate ploy?
Chico: Ploy. LCS3's been another one of those downward slides.
Jason: May have been a ploy... but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I get tired of
seeing the same people over and over.
Chico: And next week... Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: "Conan would be here, but he has a shred of dignity."
Gordon: I enjoyed it too - and maybe the ratings show that familiarity breeds contempt. Any last words, Jason?
Jason: I guess all I need to say is a huge thank you: to you guys for all
your hard work, and to everybody who's made the last five years more than I ever would've expected. I'll be throwing a bigger 'statement' up on GSNN soon.
Gordon: sounds good - A hearty thanks for anyone and everyone who has been on this site for the past 5 years
Chico: That's right. We love game shows... We love to interrupt.. But most
importantly, we love you. Thanks for a great five years.
Gordon: If it wasn't for you readers, we wouldn't be here.
Jason: And here's to another five... maybe more if we can keep everyone in line :)
Gordon: Yes sir.
Chico: I'll drink to that. For Jason, Aldo, Gordon, and everyone here at
GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander, and until next time... All together now...
Group in unison: Game over!