October 9, 2006

Chico: It's not a bad show, but it needs to cut it the hell out before it engulfs the entire schedule!
Tom: it'll only cost you $.99 to text them that suggestion!
Chico: You've already cut out Black and White Overnight! Old Skool fans are pissed!
Jason: Way pissed.
Tom: If you're not 18 to 24, they don't give a rat's posterior.
Jason: Even Tom :-)
Tom: :-X
Chico: We're back with the usual gang of crazies... and special guest crazie Tom Gauer. And guess what, guys...
Tom: Just finished taking the meds.
Chico: Good. Gordon, your birthday is coming up, right?
Gordon: Yay! October 26, it in indeed.
Jason: I, benevolent ruler, pass on the crown of this island, to you.
Chico: Well, I'm giving you your present early... It's a DESERTED ISLAND!
Jason: You are now king of the deserted island.
Tom: I hope you get a really special birthday gift-- if you know what I mean.
Chico: A few trees... a rock formation in the shape of Chuck Woolery...
Gordon: Wheeeee.
Chico: Free roll poker... You know, an island you can really call your own.
Jason: I think I may have to clear my netteller and pokerroom account :-)
Chico: We know.
Gordon: Which sucks, because I just made another $40 yesterday
Tom: Not that we condone gambling in any form. Kids, if you have a problem, 1-800-BETS-OFF
Chico: Of course. Back to the island, though. Now you get to populate it!
Gordon: Let do some population
Chico: You guys get to help, too. Why don't you start it, birthday boy.
Gordon: We'll start with...

Lorenzo Borghese...or Charlie O'Connell. Who was worse - A bachelor who lies about his credentials, or a bachelor who lies about his intentions about wanting true love?

Jason: Borghese. O'Connell was looking to score...and he did. Cads rule.
Tom: Well, we've all done the latter.
Chico: Lorenzo.
Tom: Gotta go with Dr. Block on this one.
Gordon: Well, it's sort of dopey to have a show if you aren't looking for love, so I would have gone with O'Connell, but the Birthday Boy is overruled.
Tom: Nah, it's your birthday... you get the score.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next up...

This week, the big board on Midnight Money Madness didn't behave itself.... So should we send it... or Jerilee for not knowing how to throw it to break when that sort of thing happens?

Jason: Bad board. Go to the island.
Tom: I don't think she was hired for her smarts.
Gordon: Jerliee, just for the lack of entertainment. Get CJ a new cohost
Tom: But anyone who is doing live TV should know how to tap dance long enough for a ruling from the producer, about how to proceed.
Gordon: CJ...and Brigitte Nielson. THAT'S who should be hosting the show. Or CJ and...Michelle L'Amour. Now THAT'S a birthday present, baby!
Chico: So Jerilee gets to play on the island with our "prince".
Tom: With Brigitte, it would be "Butch" and the kid.
Jason: While Gordon watches.
Chico: With a camera
Gordon: Digital Camcorder, Actually. One Night in Snow White
Jason: Michelle would out do Paris...in a ******* heartbeat.
Gordon: Snow not-so-White. Next one....

GSN's World Series of BlackJack or CBS's Ultimate Blackjack Tour. I'm sick of the lawsuits. Which one goes there?

Jason: UBT UBT UBT
Tom: Boot the clone.
Chico: UBT. Doesn't even play in all areas. Why is it bitching so loud?
Gordon: I will say this - as much as I despise the World Series of BlackJack, it shows many, many more hands, and more action is what the show should be about. I agree with the majority. IF the UBT wants to bitch, have it deal with actually showing us show instead of giving us more gambling advertisements than show.
Tom: Exactly.
Chico: Amen.
Tom: If CBS wants to run infomercials, do it at 3am.
Jason: You got that right.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next up...

The Survivor women want to gang up on the men... Pick any one you believed to spearhead that campaign and send them over to OUR little piece of land in the middle of the Pacific.

Tom: Sounds like a Russ Myer movie.
Chico: You can send more than one if you are so inclined.
Gordon: All the women - just for piss-poor strategy
Jason: Recuse.
Chico: Don't blame you.
Tom: Gotta agree with the Birthday Boy. Bad game playing.
Chico: So the women... they plant a bad seed early on and pick rotten fruit. End result, they get to eat it... on the island. Gordon, next?
Gordon: Next one...

Simon Cowell...or Clay Aiken. Is Simon going too far by calling Clay an idiot, or is he actually right?

Chico: Story. Reader's Digest Version, please.
Gordon: After hearing the Clay Aiken press conference about Clay wanting the media to stop asking him questions, Simon called him an idiot, saying that this is what he wanted and this was part of the gig of being a superstar.
Chico: Clay's an idiot.
Jason: The questions being specifically about his sexual orientation.
Chico: He needs to have the right response.
Jason: and he is being very coy and all.
Chico: Someone ask, "Are you gay?"
Jason: And you say Yes...or no.
Chico: You say "That depends. Are you propositioning me?"
Jason: Even better
Chico: By saying "Get up off me," you're saying "I'm closed. Don't touch me. You can't get... with all this."
Jason: Clay just looks even more gay, just like Oprah does.
Gordon: Yes, The people who do well with the media are the ones who have the good reputation., By joking around with them, you will get many more brownie points.
Tom: Exactly Gordo! If you screw with the media, reporters will screw with you. And btw, Clay is an idiot for the makeover--- stardom came when he looked like a regular geek. That's what you go with.
Jason: That's why Hasselhoff gets away with being an "alleged" alcoholoic. He takes himself as serious as a fart in the breeze and it works.
Tom: Or Charlie Sheen. OR Danny Bonaduce.
Chico: Jason just made the quote file :-)
Tom: On the "Fart in the breeze".... winds shift, so be careful.
Chico: Last one..
Jason: He doesn't care. People who care and are hyper-sensitive to certain things (myself included) don't do well in the press.

Contestant pool of "That's the Question" or Contestant pool of "Starface".... minus Steve Altes. Which one should get another chance at quiz glory and which should never be heard from again?

Tom: I know some of you don't like "Starface", but at least the contestants on that show are fun.
Chico: Totally. It's a party atmosphere, these are party goers. This is a party.
Gordon: The problem with Starface isn't the contestants. They seem to know the material. We need some of them on That's the Question.
Chico: TQ players... the most serious bunch of stiff I've ever seen.
Jason: That's The Question should go.
Tom: I know TQ is kind of limited in who they can put on the show... location of taping and all... but geez, they're awful.
Chico: (as stiffly as possible) "I know the question. What is Russia's Airline... Aeroflot. I love you, Bob."
Tom: One guy looked like a wannabe serial killer.
Chico: And another looked a deer in headlights. We went all over this on Act I.
Jason: So my high strung attitude is too energetic.
Chico: We know how high strung you are. I Jason Blocked at my Millionaire Audition.
Tom: Yes, I'm afraid so. But at least TQ doesn't require "under 30 only".
Gordon: So to sum this all up...

Prince Borghese and Jerilee and the King and Queen of Pepperonia, and they rule over the lovely subjects of That's The Question, while making money via commerce, and have people play on the Ultimate Blackjack Tour while listening to the tunes of Clay Aiken while having the women of Survivor being the Backup Singers and the Blackjack Dealers. Yay!

Jason: There you go. Sounds like a party to me.
Tom: Wait, Endemol is calling about picking up the option on that.
Gordon: So thank you all for the Deserted Island gift. I have a gift for all of you now.
Tom: Yippee!
Jason: what's that?
Gordon: And you'll see it...after the Break!
Chico: Tease.
Jason: Thanks..Howie :-)

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