Episode 19.13
December 15

Gordon: Crowded house!
Jason: Rush!
Gordon: Moxy Fruvous!
Jason: Crash Test Dummies!
Gordon: Barenaked Ladies!
Chico: Barenaked Ladies! Thank you!
Don: Yeah, I'd go with Barenaked Ladies.
Jason: Me too.
Gordon: BTW, I strongly suggest you pick up a Moxy Fruvous CD. Very very good. So Chico, during the break, has been telling me about how much he loves Sarah McLachlan.
Chico: Boo.
Jason: My sister loves her.
Gordon: What don't you like about Sarah McLachlan?
Chico: She's a step above Enya on the "boring/hot" diagonal.
Jason: Ah.
Gordon: What about the ASPCA?
Chico: I approve. It's those PETA people that are scary =p
Jason: Yeah...tofurkey my butt for thanksgiving.
Gordon: So how many shades of wrong is PETA?
Jason: Honestly...about 7
Chico: On a scale of 1 to 15.... 30.
Jason: They have the right idea...but going about the way wrong way. And yes...I like my steaks and chicken, veal and lamb.
Gordon: I don't know what you're talking about. (Munches a burrito)
Chico: Me neither *eats a turkey leg* This is totally bad for me. Okay, so 15 Shades of Wrong is next. We give you an event, and you tell us how wrong it is on a scale of 1 to 15. Start it up, G.
Gordon: Here we go with...

Jason: Do we really need another hidden camera game show? But as things go...this is harmless...but not wrong. 3 shades.
Chico: A program put off for the better part of a year.... and then recast... 5 shades.
Gordon: Joe Rogan is the host. He'll stop me from going into double digits on this, but I expect this to tank. I'll go 6.
Chico: It will tank. Hard.
Jason: Who is going to watch a game show...on a Saturday night...in January?
Chico: Nobody... that averages to... *bleep blip bloop*.... 5 shades.
Gordon: If January 20th rolls around and we get a strike, that may be the last new thing you ever see in January that's not a sporting event.
Chico: And let's hope THAT doesn't happen. Okay, next up...

Chico: In one case, it ended up badly... in another case... could end up just as bad. 8 shades.
Jason: I agree with Chico. I do use luck in my life...but I have the real world skill to back it up 8 shades.
Gordon: Sugar gets a 3. She's intellectually challenged, but she did make some good moves in the game and her intuition as to who to get rid of had been solid, until that last vote. Dandrew, on the other hand...yuck. That's 11 for them. So 8 for them as a collective group.
Chico: Okay... That's another 8. Makes the average easy... *bleep^3* an 8.
Gordon: Next one...

Chico: 13.... Fear is real.
Jason: Simply put...15. This is about the stupidest thing ever.
Gordon: Not the dumbest thing ever, but close. 13.
Chico: And that gives us... *average bleeps* a 14
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next one...

Jason: So wouldn't that be....Are You Smarter than a 6th Grader?
Chico: Except it was a hold over from season 2.
Jason: Eh, no big deal. 2.
Gordon: When exactly were these episodes going to be run? In 2012? The fact that they held off these episodes and are playing them now with the old cast is confusing at best and damaging at worst. 7.
Chico: And the Fox circus continues.... 6 shades. That is... blippety bloppety bloop... 5. So yeah.... more trouble for a show that doesn't need any more trouble. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

Chico: Cost cutting does not look good on you. 14.
Jason: I will go with 14 as well...this will cost Ben Silverman his job.
Gordon: This could be the beginning of the end for NBC. 14.
Chico: Okay... That gives us a... *blahzay blahzay* 14. And finally...

Jason: Again...6 of one...half a dozen of the other. 8 shades.
Chico: That's some funky math, there, J. =p
Gordon: Not as bad as Leno. At least FOX levels the carnage to 1-3 hours a week. Still a crappy show, which makes me wonder why they promoed the heck out of it. 8.
Chico: Eight sounds about right. We have one show that shouldn't be on TV... and one show that's better off NOT on TV. I leave it to you to determine which one's which. That gives us a *bleep bloopity fart* 8.
Jason: (nods in agreement)
Gordon: And with that, we'll have nothing but disagreement on the next segment. You'll love it.
Chico: We get all judgy mcjudge-judge after the break.
Jason: ok

(Brought to you by ABC's Regis Philbin Power Hour. Hey, we have Jay Leno on in September, why not Regis? We can play Millionaire, Password and America's Got Talent every night at 10pm!)

Jason: BRING BACK SUPER MILLIONAIRE!!!!
Chico: I heart Regis.
Gordon: Do you heart judging?
Chico: Yep
Jason: sure do.
Gordon: Let's get to it. One of you will be Paula, Miss Happy Happy Sunshine. The other person will be Simon, the Dark Cloud. And Chico, start it up.
Chico: Got it...

Jason is Paula... and Gordon is Simon (yes, we're making it easy)... and we're talking about... Chuck Woolery on Don't Forget the Lyrics!

Jason: Wasn't it great to see Game show hosts hang out! I mean Chuck had a hit called "naturally stoned!" YAY!
Gordon: Media. M-e-d-i-a. Whore. W-h-o-r-e.
Jason: Who? Me?
Gordon: Chuck. C-h-u-c-k.
Jason: Look he hung out with Cats.
Gordon: Oldie O-l-d-i-e. Fogey. F-o-g-e-y.
Jason: He's an animal lover.
Gordon: Loser. L-o-s-e-r.
Jason: Why is he a loser? And why are you spelling everything...Oh yeah. That game with the balls.
Gordon: He's old and while he does have a good country voice, It's not going to draw ratings and you're not going to go see him unless you're a game show fan.
Jason: Its a fun show...and he can sing. You are such a meanie.
Gordon: He can sing. And he can sing better than you. But just like you, they won't go and watch, Ms. I composed something with Randy Jackson and all I could do was get to #62 on the Top 100 Chart.

(BUZZER!)

Chico: Well, he continues Friday. It wasn't too bad.
Jason: Alright.
Chico: But it was one of those gimmicky things that annoys the hell out of me.
Gordon: Gimmicks? FOX? NO, really?
Jason: I am shocked. Really.
Chico: Blows you away, don't it?
Gordon: Sure does. Maybe the next one will, too...

Chico is Paula, Gordon is Simon and the topic is...18-22 Casting for game shows.

Chico: I love seeing young folks get on TV and winning money and living out their dreams and stuff...
Gordon: So you're going to tell game show contestants everywhere that life ends at 22? Stop living and bothering about TV shows. Let's have the pretty people win all the time! Or is it because the ugly old people keep winning?
Chico: Who cares about winning. It's the game! And this one sounds like a winner! These people are just going all out for it.
Gordon: Its ridiculous on how people cast for age or beauty. Cast on how they play the game. Maybe the show will last longer.
Chico: It's MTV... No one is going to remember it anyway.
Gordon: Remote Control? What about that show? And look - we had 30-something people play remote control.
Chico: Your Face or Mine?
Gordon: We had 18-22 play Your Face or Mine, and it tanked. What about Singled Out?
Chico: Young people going all out for it...It got a little hot watching, I'll tell you what?
Gordon: Singled Out, by its nature, had people of all ages playing. They had people in their 20's and 30's. Oh and by the way, When you have The Real World shows, the people who come back on the specials are...wait for it...30! And Eric Nies is approaching 40!
Chico: MTV's audience like young people! They like pretty people, which explains the appeal of Paris Hilton and The Hills...(please stop now, I feel dirty)...

(BUZZER!)

Chico: Dude... Eric Nies sis still alive?
Gordon: He is. But you wouldn't know it if you watched MTV.
Jason: That's way true.
Chico: If you watch MTV.. then you should probably turn off the set and go outside. Maybe for a little bit.
Gordon: Next one...
Chico: Next up...

Gordon's is Paula... Chico is Simon... and we're talking about... Million Dollar Password.

Gordon: I love Regis Philbin! He's the mecca of all current game shows!
Chico: Regis Philbin saves another network. Whoopie. The fact of it is... It's not Password. It's like Pyramid Game's bonus in a tint of red. And it falls into the mantle of "This is how you recreate a game show classic in 2008..." and it's rubbish for doing that.
Gordon: But who cares about the show? People now don't watch for the show! We watch for the celebrities! William Shatner is so dreamy!
Chico: I watch for the game. And the celebs casting is the only thing that gets it right. And even then you have one or two to fall through the cracks. What the hell! I know we can't all be Betty White, but let's have an honest go at it.
Gordon: Phil Keoghan! Julie Chen! I know you LOVE to watch Julie Chen!
Chico: ....No, I don't.
Gordon: Adam Carolla gets to be on another game show. and Jamie Kennedy, he was on Wild'N'Out! Don't you want to bed him?
Chico: No, I don't.
Gordon: What about Julie Chen. Don't you want her to satisfy the houseguest in your pants?

(BUZZER!)

Jason: LOL
Gordon: Awwwwwww.
Chico: Don't you love it when a conversation amongst gentlemen degenerates?
Gordon: ...we're gentlemen?
Jason: No...we are degenerates.
Chico: Yes and yes.
Jason: And speaking for me...I am proud of being one.
Chico: Heh.
Jason: And I can say that Mr. $0.69 over there likes being one too.
Gordon: Moi?
Jason: Vous.
Gordon: Next one...

Jason is Paula. Chico is Simon and the subject is...ABC using Wipeout as Super Bowl Counter Programming.

Jason: I LOVE BIG BALLS!
Chico: I bet you do, Paula.
Jason: I mean we get to see Cheerleaders playing with BIG BALLS on TV...during the Super Bowl.
Chico: I believe that got you in trouble a couple of years back.
Jason: What are you talking about...Corey lied.
Gordon: (as Corey Clark) You know you want me, Paula.
Chico: HA! But when Super bowl Sunday comes around, I'm thinking about American football, not two Johns talking about people humiliating themselves on a Japanese Parkour style obstacle course.
Jason: Look...we get to see all the happy people bouncing around! It's fun! I would to run the gauntlet myself!
Chico: Funny you talking about bouncing.
Jason: Yeah I like to bounce!
Chico: Yeah. Go bounce for Corey. I'm going to watch Bruce Springsteen.

(BUZZER!)

Chico: Points to Gordon as Corey, ladies and gentlemen.
Jason: (applause)
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next up... Gordon, you want to be Paula?
Gordon: If you make Jason Simon, sure
Chico: Okay...Done.

The subject...a trip to Tribal Council on auction for charity.

Gordon: Yay! Jeff Probst is so charitable! I would love to be in Brazil to see a tribal council!
Jason: I bet you would. Could you survive out there in the middle of nowhere? You would make Sugar look like Richard Hatch!
Gordon: The middle of nowhere? This is Brazil! I love Brazil, with the elephants, and the Sugar Shack, and...
Jason: Um...Brazil is in SOUTH AMERICA. This is the Amazon, with Piranhas, and Alligators, and a lot of tropical rain forest.
Gordon: Oooh. Piranhas. They remind me of you.
Jason: I resemble that remark.
Gordon: Do they have Rhinos in Brazil?
Jason: No they don't. Rhinoceroses are native to Africa and India. The Sugar Shack is native to Gabon. BTW...did you tell the tribes to spell Gabon Backwards!
Gordon: Yes I did. Nobag. They all know Im No Bag, unlike you, who's a big bag and who can't keep a woman.
Jason: Yes. You are a bag. Look...Jeff is a good guy and all...but come on...do I really want to fly 6000 miles to see people backstab each other for a million bucks?
Gordon: I do! It's the #1 show on at Thursday nights at 8pm! And it will stay that way! Who doesn't want to be a part of success...of course that's until we show up on Thursdays.
Jason: That is true. If they go to Thursdays, it's on. Besides, Terry and I are still good friends...
Gordon: You just want to go with Terry so you can 'accidentally' shove her into a piranha-infested lake.

(BUZZER!)

Jason: ROFL! Seriously, good job by Jeff. I hope he raises a ton of money. When I met Jeff last year at the Wheel tapings...good guy.
Gordon: He is a good guy. And I hope he gets a nice bid for it. Last one...

Chico is Paula. Jason is Simon. The subject: Jason Mesnick's claim of being 'in love and engaged' as ABC promotes the latest Bachelor, Chico's Faaaaaaaaavorite show. Ever.

Chico: ...
Jason: (giggle)
Chico: I love love...Don't you love love? It's so lovely!
Jason: Not when the rate of success.
Chico: Seeing pretty people get with other pretty people...
Jason: is so low.
Chico: And all the roses...
Jason: Oh please.
Chico: I love roses.
Jason: You love everything. I saw you on HSN this past weekend...you love that ugly jewelry you are trying to sell.
Chico: Oh hush. And in this particular edition, he's not just looking for a mate, he's looking for a family. Can't beat that, right?
Jason: Um....he divorced his first wife...and is a single dad...and is looking for love on a reality show? Please. You have to got to be kidding me. Trista and Ryan is an exception...NOT THE RULE.
Chico: What would happen if you weren't just looking for love, you were looking for a mother?
Jason: Then you probably wouldn't find it here. I really think these girls are cast for their looks...not their maternal instincts.
Jason: Yeah...why don't you go on and find a man that can handle you!
Chico: Ain't no man that can handle all of this... Well... you maybe.
Gordon: (Corey Clark) Isn't Paula available?
Chico: ...HEY!
Gordon: See? I told you. She wants me. Make me the Bachelor.
Jason: Hey Corey...you would be a good choice. You got a job?
Gordon: No, I'm too busy selling my bling. But I can use a job. I can be a musical judge. I am a great judge of character.
Jason: So you are.
Chico: So I've heard. Why don't you go and hit on Kara for a moment.
Jason: You have money?
Gordon: I've got some bling, bling, yo. I'm sure my album must have sold...at least 10 copies.
Jason: If that.
Chico: 120, baby.
Gordon: I sold 120. So I'm a rich G-Dawg. Rich! So here Paula, come and bed me.
Chico: *grabs buzzer*

(BUZZER!)

Jason: ROFL! Oh man.
Gordon: I have a feeling that Chico's going to get me back - hard - on the next show.
Chico: Oh yeah. Right now, though... It's the Speed Round. Next!
Gordon: After the break.

(Brought to you by Paula Abdul's BFF. Must be good with Media Spin, medication control, and keeping Paula's mouth shut.)

Jason: Tough job.
Chico: I wouldn't want it.
Jason: Are you serious that Paris's BFF is going global?
Gordon: The only one definite is a UK version, but she has international versions on the table.
Chico: Yikes
Jason: Wow
Gordon: Congratulations to Brittany, who won the US version. Enjoy the 4 minutes of your 15 minutes of fame left.
Jason: yeah
Chico: Paris don't care 'bout you. But we care about this...Speed Round! Now! Who wins Survivor?
Gordon: If we had a smart group, I think Ken finds a way to eliminate Bob and stick around to win the million. However, we don't, so the group will stupidly let Bob stick around for the final Tribal Council, and Bob will win.
Jason: I am going with Bob.
Chico: Bob wins. All he has to do is show up.
Gordon: Season 2 of Million Dollar Password - do we see a Million Dollar winner?
Chico: Come on now... we have to.
Gordon: No one's gotten to $250,000, let alone try for the million.
Chico: You have to. It's Regis. It's second season... There's gotta be a John Carpenter figure...right?
Jason: You mean an arrogant guy who no onelikes? :)
Gordon: We'll see. The Biggest Loser - only one male left (Ed) Vs. 3 females. Do we have our second straight female winner?
Jason: Yeah we do.
Chico: Yup
Gordon: I think so. And this one would be more satisfying because none of the ladies got voted out and were able to return. Are you going to be a Momma's Boy after the show?
Jason: Oh heck no.
Chico: Nope.
Jason: Stick to radio. Reality isn't your bag...producing that is. When your biggest hit is keeping up with the Kardashians...you know you are in trouble. This is another Seacrest no no.
Gordon: But something we always say yes yes to - the mail. What do we got?
Chico: I have... a big ass and a sex tape. No... Kidding...I have mail from...Christine Sigel. Hello, Christine!

Chico: Thanks, Christine. If memory serves, the shows for season 2 are already in the can AND they tape at CBS in LA.
Gordon: Waa waaaaa
Chico: So the best way you can hope to get on the show is to just... watch it.. Support it...Let them know you care.
Jason: But you can check cbs.com for casting notices.
Gordon: And don't forget Craig's List. That's where CBS stuck up casting notices for the past 2 seasons. Look in both the NYC and the LA areas. Next one?
Chico: Next is the next episode of "The Letter" (plays "The Letter")

Gordon: I think pretty good. Its not an expensive show to produce, and NICK is looking for new programming.
Jason: GUTS is returning...because Nickelodeon in it's infinite wisdom shot 20 shows for 2 seasons worth.
Chico: So we're looking for another season in the new year... and if we're fortunate, we'll have many more to come.
Gordon: Lets see what happens after they roll out season 2.
Chico: Alrighty then. That's a show, but we'll be back next week with more. ALSO, you're going to want to pencil in December 29...That's when our Year-End Special goes to site. If my math's correctly, that's... two weeks.
Gordon: You think anything happened this past year?
Jason: I can think of maybe one or two :)
Chico: Strike... Idol... Password... Nah. But we still have one more show until then.
Gordon: True. and that ends our show. Special thanks to Jason Block and Don Harpwood for joining us today.
Jason: As always, thank you. And happy birthday to my sister Liz! Happy 35th!
Chico: Next week, we review Momma's Boys and Password, Season 2. Until then, he's Gordon, I'm Chico, the show is We Love to Interrupt... game over... and spread the love :-)