Episode 9.1
September 15

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and welcome to season...19!
Chico: Wow. 19 seasons. It strangely feels like... 6.
Jason: It's amazing.
Gordon: He's almost old enough to order a six-pack, Chico.
Chico: Yep.
Jason: But he can vote.
Chico: By the way, alcohol's bad, kids.
Gordon: We start year #7 and season 19 with...get ready for this...ONE MILLLLLION DOLLLLAAAARRRRRRRSSSSSS
Jason: You aint kidding.
Chico: One was won fair and square. The other... not so much. We'll get into all of that and everything fall as from somewhere in America, the "Starz in their Eyes" edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay! We are joined today by Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Hi there.
Gordon: Let's start the show with the million dollar winner who's the most legit - and we see that SOMEONE'S smarter than a 5th grader.
Chico: Actually have a letter from Bobby McBride addressing the subject.

Chico: You ain't lyin', nephew. And that someone is... of all people... an educator. Go figure, kids. First show of the new season at Are You Smarter Elementary...And we have the big one won... finally.
Gordon: (Blows noisemakers)
Chico: Doesn't that just give you a nice warm feeling inside to know that someone out there is smarter than a 5th Grader?
Gordon: Sure.
Jason: No. Never has. Never will.
Gordon: You sort of knew that they were looking for one this season. We no longer have cheerleaders and actors going after it. We now have educators and people who are SUPPOSED to win the money.
Jason: Exactly.
Gordon: Behold, the wonders of casting coordinators
Jason: Yuck.
Gordon: But bravo to the person who won it - and won it fair and square, according to the gameplay. Tell us about the winner and the million dollar question, Chico.
Chico: Okay. The person is Georgia State Superintendent of Schools Kathy Cox. She didn't sound like she's from GA, but that's besides the point. She was going to use the money for her state school system. Good noble cause. And if you think about it, she didn't really NEED the class to help. The ONE time she used a cheat, she went against it.
Jason: Sort of the John Carpenter of 5th grader
Chico: Sorta, yeah. Can we get to the question?
Jason: Sure.
Chico: Here's the question that won it all for her. The subject: 5th Grade World History. Ready, kids?
Gordon: Ready, daddy
Jason: Bring it

Who was the longest reigning British monarch?

Jason: (writing down answer)
Gordon: (writing down answer also)
Chico: No copying off of the hamsters' papers, Gordon.
Gordon: Awww...
Chico: Okay, that's pencils down. What do we have?
Jason: Queen Victoria.
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: Since I know Jason will get the answer right, I decided we're going to go with Madame Butterfly. Since she Monarch is one of the best butterflies I know.
Chico: Jason IS right. It was Queen Victoria. And Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader has, after two years, its first million dollar winner.\
Jason: Yay.
Chico: And we have this for Kathy... the WLTI MVP Award. Take it. That's for you.



Chico: So we go from a woman who didn't need any help to get to the million... to a woman who had... a little help. Just a little...
Gordon: Try 16% more help
Jason: Boooo
Chico: That's what I said. Just a little more help.
Gordon: That's not a little. That's substantial.
Chico: I was being facetious. Enter Jessica Robinson. 5 months pregnant. One month for each million dollar case.
Jason: Yippee. (yawn)
Chico: That's a 5 out of 26 chance at it. Or... 19% more or less.
Gordon: Vs. 3% for only 1 case.
Jason: It's help :)
Gordon: And therefore, since the game has been tampered by performance-enhancing case values, Jessica also gets this from me: *
Chico: And the baby is going to be born on Texas soil... and no, we don't mean the dirt and clods of cow dung brought out by the banker. Although, all things considered, thanks to the cases, that is exactly what the game turned into.
Gordon: Moooo
Jason: Snort
Chico: Not for nothing, but how did it come to this?
Gordon: It's not Jessica's fault. And she did the one thing that I thought had to happen for someone to win the million - she left 2 high cases left.
Jason: Pretty much.
Chico: $200,000 and $1 million. Anyone would be pleased with either. The final offer.. $561,000.
Gordon: And there's no way you don't go for the million
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: Especially with the banker lowballing the offer. That's like an insult there. Jessica didn't buy it. All things considered, she played a rather impressive game. But her board was loaded. Like a .45 in Dick Cheney's closet. :-) Apologies, J.
Jason: Hey hey! She got it from Sarah Palin!
Gordon: I was thinking more like what Michael Phelps probably was before going out and doing the Saturday Night Live intro.
Chico: Okay, now that we've completely alienated half of our audience. Gordon, your expert analysis of Jessica's game.
Gordon: I thought she played a very good game. But the fault on why we're bashing the episode doesn't lie with her. It lies with the fact that it's not a 'real' game
Chico: No.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: A real game has 26 cases, one of them worth a million dollars. (Or 22 cases, one of them worth $500,000... More on that later).
Gordon: She also got every break in the book - she didn't have to worry much during the entire game on any sort of fall. She always had the $200,00 as a safety net, and there were no offers good enough for her to stop.
Jason: Yup.
Chico: Of course. This was the textbook case. Get in, ride the wave, get out. The wave just so happened to never have let up. It reminded me of Michelle Falco.
Gordon: Who ALSO had an inflated board
Chico: ...True Hope Jessica and her baby boy put it to good use.
Gordon: So congratulations to Jessica Robinson and her $1,000,000**** (One asterisk for each extra million dollar case).
Jason: LOL
Gordon: This week also had the debut of BIG MONDAY.
Chico: As if this week couldn't get any BIGGER.
Jason: This was the Super Bowl of Game Shows.
Gordon: So lets get to those 22 cases and $500,000 offered on Deal or No Deal. On the first day, we had a $100,000 winner.
Chico: Great way to start the series.
Gordon: Chloe wins $105,000 on the very first episode.
Jason: Very nice.
Gordon: After that - not so good - we do see over $300,000 awarded for the week, but that includes someone who had the $500,000 case and walking with only $72,000.
Chico: Not bad money per se.. but a horrible deal.
Gordon: What happened this week on Jeopardy?
Chico: Well, a friend of mine was on the premiere. He came in second, though. And if he's reading... Hi, Kurt.
Gordon: Hey Kurt! (Waves)
Chico: But anyway...25th Anniversary. That's starting this week. Next week, the kids of 99 return for Kids Week Reunion Week. We'll see if they managed to learn something over the last 10 years. Later this season... trip to Vegas. Over on Wheel, J?
Jason: Well, we had a big rarity this week, Outside of the debut of the Million Dollar Wedge.
Chico: How big was it?
Jason: This was so rare it hasn't happened in over 3 years. We had a $250,000 week...but we had a COMPLETE GAME SWEEP. On Thursday's show, Jeremy went 9 for 9. He won $68k+ and we had the Double gooseegg.
Chico: Would've been something if he had the Million Dollar wedge. But still, going 9 for 9... Nice.
Jason: And the look on fellow contestant Brynn's face...priceless. She wanted to kill him.
Chico: At least she didn't beat him.
Jason: No. But the Million Dollar Wedge was a non-factor...For now.
Chico: While we're on the subject of non-factors...The clock on Millionaire... WASN'T as bad as I thought... but I can see where it will create a bit of a problem down the line.
Gordon: Actually, it was worse than I thought - but for a different reason and we'll get to that later. On Millionaire, Eric Cunningham wins $100,000 when he knew the answer to this:

In 2008, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama squared off in Democratic presidential debates in all but which of these cities?
A: Austin, TX B: Minneapolis, MN C: Cleveland, OH D: Philadelphia, PA

Jason: (locks in answer)
Chico: I'd like to phone-a-friend.
Gordon: I'll allow it.
Chico: *calls Jason*
Gordon: Heh.
Chico: Jason, what's the answer?
Jason: B. Minneapolis. 100% Sure. (Hangs up on Chico)
Chico: Okay, we're going with B. Final answer.
Gordon: The answer is...B!
Jason: (High five)
Chico: Yeah! *high fives*
Gordon: Your $100,000 will be waiting for you in Minneapolis.
Jason: Darn.
Chico: I could use a trip to Minneapolis. Throw my hat up in the air like that.
Jason: Thanks, Mary.
Chico: That left Family Feud... with just the graphics package from the primetime version. Improvement... but yeah... it's just that.
Gordon: What happened on the Feud?
Chico: Three $20,000 winners. John O'Hurley returns to form in the role made famous this summer by Al Roker. Oh, and it was Burton's birthday.
Jason: yay!
Chico: ... nothing big ever happens on the Feud until, you know... it happens. Even for the 10th season. Weird.
Jason: Very.
Chico: Then there was some show in Canada that doesn't know the difference between Power Rangers and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.... I've heard.
Gordon: Strange stuff. And finally, with the debut of Inside the Box, we have 2 people win the bonus round, but no one has gone max for $10,000.
Chico: I still wish I could see it on something that isn't YouTube.
Gordon: Well, we have a YouBoob coming up later on.
Chico: That... that's new.
Gordon: Before we get there, let's go to our season finale Big Brother predictions. And this season, we actually have...a good season?
Chico: Whod've thought? Also, who'd've thought that the Renegades would make it to the final two?
Gordon: Being that no one else had any idea how to play the game...me.
Jason: Of course you did.
Chico: Big ups to Jerry for making it as far as he did, though.
Gordon: Sure. Jerry and Keesha both sort of knew how to play, but Dan and Memphis both played them for suckers. And we have 7 of the suckers in the jury box. Hence, it's time to figure out who they are going to vote for. Big Board please?

Gordon: Subject: Who gets YOUR vote? Let's look at the jury and see who wins. Starting with....

Jerry

Chico: Hmm... I'm going to go with ... whoever DIDN'T evict him.
Jason: Yup. Memphis.
Gordon: That would be Memphis - which I think he'll vote for because he also hates Dan Next...

Keesha

Chico: Dan... for more or less the same reason.
Jason: Dan
Gordon: I agree. Keesha votes for Dan. Next one...

Ollie

Chico: Hard to tell. Hates Dan for not vetoing him. So he'll go for Memphis
Gordon: I think he votes for Memphis, because Dan broke his deal.
Jason: I agree.

April

Chico: She'll probably go for the power player... so Dan gets another vote. Only because April's an impossible read.
Gordon: I think she and Ollie are a voting couple - so they both vote for Memphis.
Jason: Memphis.
Chico: Fine. Memphis.

Michelle

Chico: Memphis. Dan put her on the block and ultimately led her to her ouster
Jason: Sounds about right. Memphis.
Gordon: I agree. I can see if she voted for Dan because he was the better player, but she doesn't seem like someone who would vote for the best player.

Renny

Chico: Dan. Memphis used Veto on him. So she was forced nominated by Jerry. So it's all Memphis' fault.
Jason: Simple revenge logic. Dan.
Gordon: I agree. Dan got Memphis to do the dirty work. She will vote for Dan. Finally...

Libra

Chico: Memphis & Libra are tight. He gets her vote.
Jason: Memphis.
Gordon: So Memphis would win, 5-2
Chico: Yep.
Jason: I think so.
Gordon: I think it boils down to gameplay. Dan is far and away the better player, so if the date with Michelle was enough to sway her, she'll sway April and Ollie and he wins. However, this does not seem like a rational bunch and Memphis may win because he didn't piss almost anyone off in ths house. (with the exception of Keesha at the end). So we think that Memphis will win because the jury will not reward Dan for better playing because he back-stabbed everyone in the house - though Dan could win this if they recognize his better gameplay.
Chico: You can be the best player in the world, but this isn't one of the games that awards good game play... that would be Survivor. =p
Jason: Sometimes :P
Gordon: Even Survivor doesn't award the best player
Chico: But they've got the better minded jury at least.
Gordon: True. Now lets go to a show where we're the jury.
Chico: Yay us.
Jason: We rule.
Gordon: America's Got Talent. We have our Top Ten. Most of which we called. Some of which...we didn't.
Jason: Ok.
Chico: I heard a nasty rumor that they were all musical.
Gordon: They are. And you should have known that was coming, as that has been America's preference since season 1. And it's now time to handicap it. Big Board please?

Gordon: Subject: The Top Ten. Handicapping time. We start with...

Kaitlyn Maher

Jason: Honestly...her cracks have been showing and her gimmick is wearing thin to me. Even with that. She is in the top 5, but barely.
Chico: I'm about to go middle of the road because of those cracks. Still Top 5.
Gordon: I'll say middle of the pack, but Top 5.

Jessica Price

Jason: Mid pack
Chico: Mid toward the top. Nice range of song choice. Better than Kaitlyn, that's for sure.
Gordon: I will disagree here. How have the judges choices done so far?
Chico: Umm... I'm going to go with not too good.
Gordon: Try 0 for the world. I say 10th and does not advance to the Top 5.
Chico: Damn, child. Be kind.
Gordon: Kind? Moi?
Jason: Never.
Chico: Heh. #3 is...

Joseph 'Elvis' Hall

Jason: 9th and doesn't make the top 5
Gordon: I agree with Jason.
Chico: Would you be mad if I said he made top 5?
Gordon: No.
Chico: Okay.
Gordon: I would just think you're nuts
Chico: Top 5.
Gordon: You're nuts.
Jason: He is a ONE trick pony that isn't very good.
Gordon: Last 2 performances really hurt him.
Chico: Call it my outside chance pick.
Gordon: You liked Indiggo too, if I was not mistaken.
Chico: Sure, remind me of THOSE why don't you.

Neal E. Boyd

Chico: Top 5. Threat to win the whole thing.
Jason: He could win the whole thing. But definitely top 5
Gordon: I don't think he wins. I do think he makes the Top 5.

Paul Salos

Chico: Bottom 5
Jason: Bottom 5 for Paul. Same one trick gimmick.
Gordon: I think the road ends for Paul right here.

Queen Emily

Chico: She's got some pipes. Top 5
Jason: Yes...top 5 but won't win.
Gordon: I think she gets to the finals - but I don't think she wins.

Nuttin But Stringz'

Chico: The final needs something different. Top 5
Jason: I think they win the whole thing.
Gordon: I don't - but I think they make the Top 5.

The Wright Kids

Chico: Bottom
Gordon: The Wright Kids and Kaitlynn Maher split the votes - and they come on the losing end. They don't advance.
Jason: Unfortunately, I agree.

Donald Braswell II

Jason: I dont like him at all. Bottom 5
Chico: The votes will be split between him and Neal..for more or less the same reason... But he was a judges' wild card. For that reason and that reason alone... Bottom

Gordon: I think Neal and Donald will be in 5th and 6th and will be brought to the judges, who wouldnt dare advance Braswell over their choice to win the whole thing.

Chico: He's not going to win, you know
Gordon: Finally...

Eli Mattson

Chico: Another top 5 fave. Good voice + piano = win.
Gordon: I think there's your winner.
Jason: You do?
Gordon: I do. Do you, Chico?
Chico: I still like Neal Boyd. Then again, that's just me.
Jason: Neal Boyd = Paul Potts 2.0 Won't happen here.
Gordon: Potts plays in the UK. He won't here. So our thoughts: Boyd, Queen Emily, Eli Mattson, Nuttin But Strigz and Kaitlynn Maher make the Top 5.
Jason: That said, we congratulate Shequida for winning AGT 3.
Gordon: And speaking of which - let's talk about America's Next Top Model 11.
Chico: Not to blow a horn here... Worst. Opening. Ever. Even for a CW show.
Gordon: its in a brutal time slot right now, but I digress. They made history by letting a Transgendered male compete. Would you?
Chico: It's a modeling competition.
Jason: I would love to see a coed ANTM...myself, but I have no problem with it.
Chico: My guess is hadn't s/he let that known, it probably wouldn't have been an issue. So thus.. I don't have a problem with it.
Gordon: I don't have a problem either.
Chico: So no controversy.. just crappy ratings =p
Gordon: True - but I wondered what our hamsters are all doing in bathing suits.
Chico: I don't think they're about to go surfing.
Jason: Oh now.
Gordon: Everybody gone surfing...Brainvision USA. Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Gordon: And to start off the new season, I have a golden bat for Chico. (Gives Chico the golden bat)
Jason: Wow. Did we have the budget for it?
Gordon: I pulled a few strings.
Chico: Okay. Greenlight time first. First, let's Greelight something that hasn't been greenlit, but is tossed around...

MTV is launch a call for people to compete in a show based on, of all things. Rock Band.

Jason: ROFL ok
Chico: Now I like Rock Band. I own the drums. But a TV show based on it? Wha?
Gordon: Um...no. Yuck.
Chico: But you still like the game, though.
Jason: MTV wants to squeeze everything out of the franchise.
Chico: Heh. Meanwhile, baseball bat time!
Gordon: Yay!
Jason: Shiny Golden bat time.

One of our favorite NPR shows is "Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me." CBS just optioned it for a series.

Jason: That could work. I have listened...it's fun.
Chico: Yeah it is. It's clever without being pretentious. Good stuff.
Gordon: I can see it more for CBS daytime, but it could work.
Chico: Next?
Gordon: Next one - you think Syndication Monday was the end of the new shows? Noooooo....
Chico: Of course not. In fact, I could go so far as to say that this next week has guts.
Gordon: In the datebook...

Monday September 15 has My Family's Got Guts, September 16th has The Biggest Loser, September 17th has The Ultimate Fighter 8 and September 21st has Play It Back: 90's, with another possible...Haterade sighting.

Chico: I got a nice selection go with it... especially if you have a smart phone or PS3. Let's get loaded.
Jason: Hic.
Chico: Like a .45 in... yeah, we did that joke.

Jeopardy! is on your PS3 right now thanks to the Playstation Network. It's also coming soon to your smart phone.

Jason: I saw the screenshots. Damn nice looking.
Chico: Oh yeah
Jason: How much is it?
Chico: I believe it's $15.
Jason: That's a bargain.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: With that and 1 v. 100 on XBL...we may have a GS revival in computer games...as well as TPIR on Wii, etc.
Gordon: When do we get our own game?
Chico: I dunno... Sony? Nintendo? Microsoft?
Jason: Intellivision?
Chico: Coleco?
Jason: Atari?
Gordon: AreYouSmarterThenVision?
Jason: Who are we smarter than, G? :)
Gordon: Let's play Inside the Box. Here's a list of clues. We're looking for a Reality Show
Jason: Ok.

Debuted in 2000's / usually a host / host is male / there's a winner / set indoors / based on a British show / audience vote / male and female contestants / live audience / shows the audition process / involves performing / a contestant has won a Grammy / contestants sing for Simon...any guesses?

Jason: American Idol?
Chico: I was going to go Idol myself.
Gordon: American Idol is...correct! But apparently, Canadians have a different name for it...

Are You Smarter Than...Paul, who answered that the name of the show is...'Simon Says'

Chico: Oh dear.
Jason: Oh my goodness.
Chico: Can... can we just move on?
Gordon: Sure. Let's go 24 hours backwards. Here's the Haterade...

On Thursday's Deal or No Deal, Jim Miracle is the first person to leave the $500,000 case on the podium as he sells it for $72,000. Total loss for Jim: $428,000.

Jason: Ouch.
Chico: Yeesh.
Jason: Not a good deal.
Gordon: Welcome to Deal or No Deal syndication. And then Jim will probably want to go spanning the world - or at least leaving the U.S. Where can he go to, Chico?
Chico: He can go to India, where we pick this up..

The fourth season of Indian Idol is coming.... replacing its version of "Power of 10".

Jason: That show gets no love.
Chico: No joke.
Gordon: But Media Hoes get love
Chico: Can we start out with the fun-sized hoes?
Gordon: What about a fun-sized casting couch?
Chico: Okey-doke.

MTV's official show for Rock Band 2!!! The creator of Rock Star and The Apprentice, Mark Burnett and MTV bring you the first show based on the new game Rock Band 2. That's right everyone Rock Band 2 is almost here.

Chico: We just reported that.
Jason: We want to give the folks a shot at it.

If you ever dreamed of being a rocker, we're giving you your chance! Are you up for the challenge? Each ROCK BAND must consist of 4 people (lead vocalist, guitarist, bass guitarist, and drummer). NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY.
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/3214-rock-band-2-now-casting 

Gordon: This can either be really good...or really bad.
Chico: As can... this.

VH1 is looking for "The Man". Are you a stud? Do you have the style, cockiness, attitude and girl-taking abilities that put every other man to shame?

Gordon: I'll file this one under really bad.
Jason: (adds to the "bad" pile)

If you're a winner at everything you do, from rocking the b-ball court to pleasing your lady (or ladies), you could be the man we're looking for!
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/3165-looking-for-the-ultimate-guy-now-casting-the-man

Chico: Standard VH1 prize applies. $100,000. And there's an age limit... 35. So Gordon and Jason... need not apply.
Gordon: Perhaps you don't want to be exploited as 'The Man' on a Vh1 show.
Chico: Nah.
Jason: Not me.
Chico: I know I'm the Man. I don't need VH1 to tell me that.
Gordon: Perhaps you'd rather be exploited on a dating show.

A familiar face to the tabloids, TMZ and the internet, Ray J has been linked to many women including Whitney Houston and Kim Kardashian. But no one has been able to make him focus on just one lovely lady. Are you up for the challenge?If you are over 21, single, and love the hip hop scene, we want to meet you.
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/3086-vh1-is-looking-for-single-beautiful-women-who-think-they-can-turn-ray-j-one-of-todays-hottest-chart-topping-hip.php

Jason: The next subject of a sex tape, mayhaps?
Chico: And a big ass is involved.
Gordon: Last one...

Sexy Grandmas! Now Casting! Do you dress really sexy! Does your family think you're too sexy? Be on TV and share your story. Get Paid to share your story!
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/3099-sexy-grandmas-now-casting 

Jason: Oh my goodness.
Chico: Okaaaaay, time for Hoes. *plays Pimpin' All Over the World*
Gordon: Chico - start us off with the fun-sized hoes.
Chico: Will do.

Three babies this week! Dancing pro Tony Dovolani is the proud father of twins, while Laila Ali welcomes Curtis Conway Jr.

Jason: Baby hoes!
Chico: Ali celebrated by showing off her pregnant belly in a commercial advertising a lotion that gets rid of stretch marks. Ew?
Jason: Uh...yeah.
Gordon: And now, for the adult sized hoes.

Joe Francis is now NOT going to be on Celebrity Apprentice, though pro golfer Natalie Gulbis may, Sharon Osbourne takes over VH1's Charm School, Heather Mills gets booted by the Donald after rejecting a guarantee from her that she is to make the finals...

Chico: Don't try to deal with the master.
Jason: Heather...BAD HEATHER.

Add Bad Nicole on to the list, as CBS kills a potential diary auction from Survivor's Nicole Delma on E-Bay, Antonio Sabato Jr. looks for love, Jennifer Lopez pulls out from the Finale of Project Runway...Jeff Foxworthy does the daytime version of 5th grader, Jordan Sparks defends 'Promise Rings' at the VMA's, and Project Runway's Christian Soriano has a new fashion line for Fashion Week.

Gordon: But none of them is your ho of the week.
Jason: Who is the first ho of the new season?
Gordon: The Ho is...Gordon Ramsay, who gets a THIRD series from FOX - this after both Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares gets renewed. How confident is FOX? Hells Kitchen 5 is already done and Hell's Kitchen 6 and 7 is guaranteed. And those...are your hoes.
Jason: And with the video game coming out really soon...he aint going away.
Gordon: And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Jason: (shutting down)
Chico: Coming up later in the show, we pour on the Liquid Plumr, but first... NOW we grade. This is WLTI... give us 22 minutes, we'll give you a hole.

(Brainvision has been sponsored by the Chico Alexander Alarm Clock. You ever hear Gordon Pepper scream Wake Up! in a Whammy Voice? That will wake anyone up. Now yours for only $6.99, plus shipping and handling.)

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