Episode 19.9
November 10

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and if you don't like who won the presidential election, don't blame me. I voted for Ryan Seacrest.
Chico: Hi, I'm Chico Alexander... don't blame me, I voted for Dunkleman.
Gordon: And you can't blame Don Harpwood either, because he's Canadian.
Don: Indeed.
Chico: But for those who did vote... we salute you.
Gordon: (Salute) But I elect that we have fun for the next few hours.
Chico: Good idea. From Somewhere in America... the PEWS edition of WLTI... is... on!
Gordon: (plays the National Anthem).
Chico: PEWS standing of course for Post-Election Worry Syndrome.
Gordon: Don Harpwood joins us as we look at our first show - which votes not by polls, but by cases.
Chico: We're going to take one case for good and one for bad... you know, due to equal time laws and whatnot.
Gordon: Deal...or No Deal. So we gave out a million., How do we top it? Give out 2 million...or try to.
Chico: Yeah, tell me how that worked out. It didn't, did it?
Gordon: Not when you wipe out the top 3 cases in the first round, no.
Don: Yipes.
Gordon: So tell us what happened, Mr. Chico.
Chico: Be glad to. We had two players this show round. The first is Steve Smiley, who, as we know, knocked out the top three cases in round 1. Waa waaaaaa.
Gordon: awwww
Chico: Eventually, he ends up dealing for $60,000. In his case, $750.
Gordon: Still a very good deal.
Don: A nice total any day.
Chico: Yeah, but he could've stopped at one time with $68,000... not to mention all the hot dogs the banker could throw at him. He's a hot-dog vendor, after all. A tasty deal nonetheless.
Gordon: Very tasty indeed.  
Chico: Next player is Tia Lampone, a student at UNC-Charlotte... go 49ers. She knocked out $2 mill in round 1. Then the player who likes head-butting knocks out $1 mill in round 3. When her game continues Friday, she'll still have a shot at $500K. So there's something to look forward to... but if you're like me, you're already tired of all the stunts that sweeps had to offer on DOND.
Gordon: We have one more stunt to talk about this week. Speed Dealing!
Don: 4 games in an hour. Talk about fast money...
Chico: That deserves a bell... *ding*
Gordon: We celebrate a very special 200th Episode of Deal or No Deal with people playing the board hard and fast for a million. Big Board please?

Gordon: Subject Matter - DOND #200. Chico will let us know who played and what they won.
Chico: Okay, first some ground rules... This is a standard board. But once Howie delivers a bank offer, the player has 20 seconds to decide Deal or No Deal. Kinda like the Millionaire clock in that aspect. If the clock lapses, it's No Deal, and play continues. NOT ONLY THAT, but all cases in the round are chosen before they are opened. Got it? Good.
Gordon: That's speed, baby.
Chico: Speed indeed. First is Frank Ross and case #12. His highest offer came in round 1 ($65,000).
Gordon: Ouch
Chico: He ends up dealing for $14,000. He was sitting on $50K. So bad deal.
Gordon: Booo. Banker: 1, Player: 0
Chico: Next is Odalys Piedra on case 18. Her highest was 244K. She ends up taking the final offer of her game, $198,000. She either had $500,000 or $10... She had... $10.
Chico: Good deal.
Don: Nice.
Gordon: Banker: 1, Player: 1.
Chico: So we tie it up at one. OH, did we mention if the players get a million combined, the Banker was going to have to dive into a giant cake?
Gordon: No, but thanks for informing us. Please continue.
Chico: I will. Third player Andre Vanchot has case 19. Highest offer came in round 1: $50,000.
Gordon: Yuck
Chico: He deals after round 4 for $38,000. In his case: $25. Another good deal.
Don: True, but it also means the possibility of the Banker jumping into the cake is getting quite slim...
Gordon: Banker: 1, Player: 2
Chico: Did you honestly expect a million to go in one night? =p
Don: Not really, no. :P
Gordon: Total amount: $250,000, which means the 4th person needs to have hit $750,000 or a mil.
Chico: Okay, final player is Danielle Carranza. Final case is #1. Her biggest offer came at the end of round 7 with $225,000. One round later... Deal for $72,000.
Gordon: Waa waaaaa.
Chico: In her case... $25K.
Gordon: Still a good deal. Banker: 1, Player: 3...but no cake.
Chico: Not for the banker, but Howie gets all up in that.
Gordon: Let them eat cake! Now Chico, we get lots of email on Deal or No Deal.
Chico: Yes we do.
Gordon: And we get ONE question more than any other about the show
Chico: And that question is...?
Gordon: The question: When do you think the syndicated version will give out the $500,000?
Chico: The answer?
Gordon: And the answer, if Wednesday's episode has anything to say about it, is not for a very very very long time.
Chico: Really? Do tell.
Gordon: The player is Sabrina Baxter. She has 4 cases left on the board. And here they are:

$1, $200, $250,000, $500,000
OFFER: $96,000

Gordon: Deal, or No Deal?
Chico: NO DEAL.
Don: I'd keep going.
Gordon: This is a gimme. There's no way you should deal. If anything but the $500,000 comes off the board, the offer will double. Even if $500,000 goes away, you still have $250,000 up there. Its definitely a NO DEAL. Sabrina...deals for $96,000.
Chico: So what happens next?
Gordon: Next case...$200. Next case...$1.

$250,000, $500,000

Don: She could've had the best scenario possible!
Gordon: The second time in 3 weeks that would have happened between this version and the Prime Time Version. And of course, she had the $500,000, leaving $404,000 on the table.
Chico: Booooo.
Don: I still can't believe she stopped so soon.
Gordon: For the record, that's now FIVE people who had and sold or gave away the $500,000 case in 90 episodes. That's 1:18, which is over the average.
Chico: Just goes to show you that even when you can play the game... you can't. You know?
Gordon: It boils down to the fact that you have to make the same move when the lights are on you as you do when you're watching it at home. Not everyone can do that.
Chico: Isn't that always the case? And yet, this version of the show is better than the primetime version... Why?
Gordon: It focuses on the game. When you think about it, the Speedround version of the game is better than what we've usually seen, just because it focuses on game, and not filler.
Chico: And yet, that in and of itself just contributes to the whole... gimmick aspect of the primetime version. Here's an idea.... one guy, 26 cases, and $1 million... and just play, you know.?
Don: I like that idea. You think the executives at NBC would like that idea?
Gordon: You mean...like actually.. play a game?
Chico: Yep. Weird, ain't it?
Gordon: ...and who would watch that?
Chico: Well, no one's watching the ultra deluxe versions we've been getting this season so far.
Gordon: Have they been watching Jeopardy?
Chico: Oh yeah. You can't go wrong with Jeopardy!
Gordon: And David Skaar can't go wrong with $100,000.
Chico: Nope. Let me set the scene.... $102,000... in three days... and in those three days, he's had three lock games. The one time he didn't have a lock game... he ended up losing it. Let's punch up the clue, huh? The Final category is "World Currency"...

With inflation raging there at more than 2.2 million%, this nation issued $100 billion notes in 2008.

Chico: 30 seconds...
Gordon: (locked)
Don: *Looks clueless*
Chico: Responses, please.
Gordon: What is Tratolandia? :D
Chico: You suck, Gordon.
Don: What is, um, Fakolia? :P
Chico: You both suck. The correct response: what is Zimbabwe?
Gordon: Ah.
Don: Oh.
Chico: So David ends up with $104,000. Do we see him in Vegas?
Gordon: I think we should. I don't know if we will, because he only won 3 shows, but he deserves to be there.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Don: Yep. I know I'd like to see him there. Great player.
Chico: Only time will tell, but hey, I wouldn't be surprised.
Gordon: I'll tell you something I was surprised about. Gene Simmons.
Chico: What, you didn't know he was that smart?
Gordon: After he had to be saved in the first question, no. When he didn't know that Idaho wasn't further north than Wyoming, I thought we were in for along night.
Chico: Well it's telling that he went from that to $500,000 in the course of an hour.
Gordon: He does get to $500,000, and like the other celebrities who got there before him, quits because he didn't want to risk the money for charity.
Chico: Good call. Here's the question on 5th Grade Science... Pencils up, please...

What element is represented by the letter K on the Periodic Table?

Gordon: (locks in answer)
Don: *Locks in*
Chico: Answers, please.
Don: Potassium.
Gordon: It would be Potassium
Chico: You both get gold stars.
Gordon: Yay. Gene stops. His wife knew it was Potassium. Gene would have said Krypton.
Chico: heh... Shannon Tweed knows elements.
Gordon: She sure does. And Gene knows about The Apprentice. Which means I'm sure he would know about an Apprentice clone called The Money and The Power.
Chico: The show with 50 Cent.
Gordon: It is. The premise is that teams have challenges. The winners decide who faces 50 Cent, who eliminates them.
Chico: That sounds familiar.
Gordon: It does, doesn't it? Now did you like it?
Chico: Well, we all know the premise works, because it worked the last time...
Gordon: 2 teams, various tasks, blah blah blah.
Chico: But it seems like a money-making option for a rapper who's run out of money-making options. You know what I mean?
Gordon: You may be right. Instead of giving them $100,000 of his money, he may be better off by using the money for TV performance lessons. For starters, he's completely out of his element.
Chico: Explain.
Gordon: He can't articulate well at all in front of the camera and looks as stiff as a board. Second of all, him and his 'assistant' Yayo make the place less like a 'work environment' and more like a rowdy curse factory. At least with 'I Wanna Work For Diddy', the tasks were job based and based on actual skills you would need to work for Diddy.
Chico: I know.
Gordon: Here., we're talking about...leading a bunch of people chained up?
Don: Wha?
Chico: Umm.. yeah... explain that one to the parents, why don't ya.
Gordon: Explain to me how you can lead people in chains by making them jog 5 miles and 1. make this relevant to business and 2. not see any parallels to the fact that we just elected an African-American president less than a week ago.
Chico: You can't, can you?
Gordon: If I want to make someone show their leadership skills, no, I don't.
Chico: This is more like 50's plea for acceptance to a crowd who's gone on to better things.
Gordon: In addition to this, we have a woman named 'Precious', who succeeds in getting into 2 fights and both times uses racially inflammatory statements in doing so, once going after the unemployed African-American male, and once telling an Asian contestant to do her nails.
Chico: Oh geez.
Don: You're kidding...
Gordon: So she's in the bottom 3.  So is the person who she got into the fight with, who also used racial statements.
Chico: So what happens next?
Gordon: So is the person who is the captain of the other team who's only sin is that she didn't lead a group of people who jogged for 5 miles quicker. By the way, she's Asian. So the person who leaves...is the team captain who didn't cause any drama, leaving the people who are clearly inept to do the job (but who are far more entertaining) in the house.
Chico: So it's your standard reality garbage.
Gordon: Anyone have a problem with this?
Chico: Self-defeating purpose.
Gordon: Here's what the show is telling me: 'I'm not here to make a good show that's based on actual gameplay. I'm here to make a drama-filled show, and if the right person happens to win it, so be it.' F on principle.
Chico: Sounds good to me. F.
Gordon: Epic Fail?
Chico: Epic fail. Let's see... Curtis didn't sell that well... 50 Cent Bulletproof didn't do so hot... And now this... Reaching much?
Gordon: No. Who's up for reaching for an island?
Chico: I am.
Don: Sure.
Gordon: It's time for the weekly installment of.. MORONS GONE WILD!
Chico: Wee!
Gordon: This week's episode - Marcus.
Chico: Threw his game plan away... and ended up getting voted off as a result.
Gordon: And for once, Sugar isn't the problem. Marcus's biggest problem is that he was not ready for a tribal switch.
Chico: One of the things about Survivor is that you have to be ready for anything.
Gordon: And even if he was, he said a number of stupid things. He told Suzie that she wasn't safe, which lead her right into the arms of Ken and Crystal. At Tribal Council, Bob said that them voting off Dan was the wrong choice. For someone who is trying to stay in the majority, telling the switch vote that she was the wrong choice to stick around is not the smartest thing in the world to do.
Chico: You think so? =p
Gordon: I do. And Marcus, by his lack of gifted tongue, talked himself right off the island.
Chico: I guess when you have nothing left to go on, you go on... the truth?
Gordon: That's a different show with Mark Wahlberg. This is called The Moment of Say Anything to make sure you're not leaving. And since Marcus didn't follow the rule, he's off to Moron Island to hang out with Dan, Ace and company.
Chico: And yet, here we are?
Gordon: Yes. The hamsters created their own Exile Island. Complete with Wood Chip Bed and Water Pool.
Chico: .... I hate to think of what that alcove in the far corner is made of.
Don: Eww.
Chico: That's why I hate to think of it.
Gordon: What about thinking about this: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug.  First up, Gordon?
Gordon: First up, we've got some dates for you.

It's Sci-Fi week as Chase (November 11) and Estate of Panic (November 12) show up on the Sci-Fi Channel. Blush also shows up on November 11th and Top Chef NY is on the 12th. On November 15...The Meow Mix Game Show (Shudder)

Chico: Again... Cats? REALLY?!
Don: I still can't believe they went forward with that idea.
Chico: I had to give that one to Alex when he interviewed Chuck. =p
Gordon: I'm sensing another Epic Fail around the corner
Chico: You know me, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt based on certain criteria.
Gordon: It's debuting...on a Saturday night. If that's a sign of GSN's confidence of the show, we have reason to worry.
Chico: Speaking of GSN, another date if you will...

Monday is the premiere of season 1 of Syndicated Millionaire.

Don: That I like.
Chico: Good stuff.
Gordon: great choice. They get a quality show addition, and it's better than watching Regis for the 564th time.
Chico: Nothing against Regis.
Don: Of course.
Gordon: Of course.
Chico: Meanwhile, I have a few notes of interest on the Business End, starting with... Fox.

Fox has detailed its midseason plans regarding new seasons of American Idol and Hell's Kitchen, as well as the burnoff of the rest of Hole in the Wall...

Gordon: Let's hear it
Chico: Okay, get ready...

American Idol will launch its eighth season January 13 and 14. Hole in the Wall returns January 18 at 7p.

Gordon: 'Returns'? or 'Burns off'?
Chico: Can't it be both?

And Hell's Kitchen opens up January 29.

Gordon: Good luck to both shows.
Don: I'm surprised that they moved HK away from the summer for 2009.
Gordon: I'm not. Hell's Kitchen is going to be a ratings winner in that spot.
Chico: Oh yeah. That's gonna be huge. Of course with the good comes the bad, as 5th Grader and Lyrics are off the schedule for the time being. Both have full-season orders. My guess is that they're going to do what they've done in years past and put them on during the summer.
Gordon: Possibly - or wait until after the holidays. Without Idol, FOX's Fall and Winter schedule is a mess.
Chico: And in other news of the obvious =p. Meanwhile, in the file marked "They Greenlit That?"...

CMT has ordered a third season of "Gone Country".

Gordon: Yay
Chico: Cast includes George Clinton, Tara Conner, Taylor Dayne, Micky Dolenz, Sheila E, Richard Grieco, and Justin Guarini.
Gordon: Richard Grieco?
Chico: Richard Grieco.
Gordon: Tara Conner?
Chico: Tara Conner.
Gordon: And they do what exactly with music?
Chico: Grieco's a musician. Tara Conner... not so much. This of course from the Press Release.
Gordon: ...ok then
Chico: So take that for what you will.
Gordon: I can take blackboards for what they are
Chico: .... you were just REACHING for that segue weren't you? =p
Gordon: ...yes. So go make another segue
Chico: .. I can't. Just go with it. =p

Are You Smarter Than...The So-Called 'TV Authority Experts' in the past week of Inside the Box. You would THINK that these people, during 'TV Authority Week', would be authority, right?

Chico: Right.
Don: Yeah.
Gordon: Ummm...wrong.  Here's some grizzly stats for you. Big Bored please?

(BIG BORED)

Gordon: 1. The 'Authorities' in the regular game are a combined 8 out of 24 - not exactly a good record.
Chico: Ew.
Don: Ouch.
Gordon: 2. Included in that round - the first All-Skunk episode where no one gets anything right and go a perfect 0-6.
Chico: Yipes.
Gordon: Which also gives us..#3.Our second game where all 3 people finish in the negative.
Chico: Oh dear.
Gordon: #4. Bonus Round? Ha. The Authorities are 1 out of 4 in the Bonus round. And the 1 win is worth..$1,000.
Don: That's just... sad.
Chico: To say the least.
Gordon: And finally...#5. Out of a possible $46,000 to be given out to the TV Experts, they manage to win...$6,500.
Chico: ... That's nasty.
Gordon: and what's worse is that $6,000 was guaranteed minimum, which means that they only took $500 more than the minimum
Chico: Not very authoritative.
Gordon: No. Not at all.
Don: Rather embarrassing.
Gordon: So is this Haterade.

How do you get people to stop eating your food? Mark it as your property by putting your bodily fluids in it.

Don: EEWWWWW! That was one gross episode, if you ask me.
Gordon: In The Ultimate Fighter, the people in the Red Team get a taste of some special fruit...laced with pee.
Chico: Nasty.
Gordon: Then David Kaplan eats some sushi of Philippi Nover's...with special sauce...mainly, Philippi's man-sperm.
Chico: NASTY!
Gordon: And then to add insult to injury, Philippi makes David tap out to a rear naked choke in the first round. So David is officially Felippe's woman - in every sense of the word.
Chico: Oh dear. Um... yeah, we can stop there if you'd like.
Don: I'm feeling sick again.
Gordon: I do have the Fear Factor Chuck Bucket, if either of you want it.
Don: *Throws up in the bucket*
Chico: And a double... *throws up* After all that, I think we need to get fully loaded.
Gordon: I'll get the sake.
Chico: Sake it to me.
Gordon: Hai!
Chico: Okay...

Games for your iPhone. Deal or No Deal's Million Dollar Mission is coming.

Gordon: Groan
Don: Eh...
Chico: On the one hand, it's Deal or No Deal, which is always good as a standalone game format. On the other hand... It's the Million Dollar Mission.
Gordon: *************
Chico: Asterisk city. Yeah.
Don: So many asterisks...
Chico: Well, it's something to do while you're waiting to be cast, right?
Gordon: Sure - if you're a 21-29 year old male who likes older women
Chico: Do tell

From the creator of "The Bachelor" comes the new dating series "The Cougar." The search is on for charming, attractive adventurous guys 21-29 who are interested in competing for the heart of a successful, hot, older woman.

We will be traveling to Austin to cast for this upcoming season and want to meet you.

Chico: Oh yeah, I remember this show....

http://www.realitywanted.com/call/3585-casting-charming-attractive-adventurous-guys-21-29-for-the-cougar

Gordon: I know you want all of that
Chico: Of course, there's a case of better the devil you know than the devil you don't....

How would you like to date Cindy Margolis? They're looking for men of all types...
http://www.realitywanted.com/call/3559-sex-and-the-cindy-with-cindy-margolis-now-casting

Chico: I don't know about you... but I could totally go for all of that.
Gordon: Go for it! And while you're doing that I'll go for some Media Hoes
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*

In this week's Hodometer, Nathan Thomas wins Top Design 2, Kendra Wilkinson (Celebrity Rap Star) gets engaged, Marcia Wallace (Match Game) will play a The Pacific Palisades... Matt Vasgersian goes to the MLB Network, Regis Philbin gets a new Live contract, and Mark Burnett teams up with No Good TV...

Gordon: But none of them are your Hoes of the Week.
Chico: Explain.
Gordon: This week has a common theme - getting dumped. We start with Deanna dumping Jesse because Deanna thinks she has a career in Hollywood.
Don: Oh my.
Chico: Then... Wait... Wait... Don't tell me... Simon Cowell's GF Terri Seymour wants the ring and the babies. Simon Cowell doesn't... hence, therefore, and for that reason...
Gordon: ... Simon Cowell also getting dumped because he doesn't want to have kids. You don't think that this has something to do with the media, do you?
Chico: What makes you say THAT?
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Heh. And finally, we're going Global... again to the UK...

Celador is plotting a pilot where contestants are hypnotized. The show is called "Mesmerized."

Gordon: Is it me, or does that just sound like one of the dumbest premises you've ever heard?
Chico: It ain't just you.
Don: Are they going to get the contestants to act like chickens or something?
Gordon: More like Jackasses...oh wait, that's the people who'd be watching. And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Chico: Shutting down.
Gordon: When we come back, we play the stock market.
Chico: But I need my moneys. This is WLTI, give us 22 minutes, we'll give you a jackass.
Gordon: Hee Haw

(Brought to you by The Pick-Up Con Artist. Hey, the economy sucks, so why not look for the person who can best persuade you to spend your money? That is, unless they are already holding public office.)

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE