Episode 28.14 - Decisions, Decisions
December 12

Chico: I'm Mister Heat Blister, I'm Mr. Sun. They call me Heat Miser, whatever I touch... melts away in my clutch... I'm too much... :-)
Gordon: You got the last part right. Did you share a 40 before showing up to the show today?
Chico: Nope. heh. I'm Chico Alexander, and I'm going to be bringing a sunny disposition to your midwinter nights this week. And my Number One Gun Gordon Pepper here... he'll be his usual self. He'll be Snow Miser. :-)
Gordon: Well... this is me. (Brings in a goldfish bowl fill with snow, Grabs show, pulls a Lebron James and sprinkles it in the air).
Chico: *holds up a sign saying "Witness"*
Gordon: That's what I'm talking about!
Chico: Well wherever you are and however the weather is, we're hoping your holiday is full of little choices that make you, like choosing to read us. That said, from somewhere in America... the "Decisions Decisions" edition of WLTI... is... ON! We've got a lot to cover, so we're not going to waste any time. First of all... a running gag on this show is that Gordon NEVER got BBC America until recently.
Gordon: Very true. Now I have it...and I admit, I love it.
Chico: Now he gets to watch Doctor Who on a TV screen like the rest of the civilized world.
Gordon: Dr. Who, Top Gear, Law and Order UK, etc. Law and Order UK, of course, features Peter Davison, who played Doctor #5. But there's a new show on the pond called 'Would You Rather...' by Graham Norton. The question is, would I like that?
Chico: I think you would. It's the network's first US-based original series. It's based on the board game, which is in turn based on the parlor game.
Gordon: Which is also a spin off of a segment from the Graham Norton show.
Chico: So it is presented in its original parlor game vibe. A few questions, four of the funniest people on the planet, there's points involved, it's classic British panel show with American balls. So the good... it's classic adaptation on a dual front.
Gordon: It's Whose Line if the format was turned into Scruples, the board game.
Chico: As for the hosting, it's Grahahm Norton on his own terms, which is better than Graham Norton on, say, Most Popular. And if you're a Graham Norton fan, you'll like him in this.
Gordon: The comedians for the most part are up to the task. And Graham is excellent in this. It's clearly in his wheelhouse and he hits a homer with it.
Chico: The panelists are your standard mishmash of comic wisecrackers that you've seen in the past 10 or so years. As long as you follow NYC based comic wisecrackers.
Gordon: And the questions are...strange. Like would you rather eat a baby or be eaten by a giant baby.
Chico: Or would you rather have no friends or be a slut? The game is pretty simple. You make your choice, you defend your choice. Points go to either the best reasoned argument or whoever Graham likes the most at the time. It's always a good thing when you just sit a few laffers down and let them crack wise. But for all the good times we have watching these guys, it doesn't really go anywhere. I suppose it doesn't need to, but that had to be pointed out.
Gordon: And here is the bad: This is a game show? At least in Whose Line, the comedians are trying to one-up each other. In this show, no one's trying to make the better argument.
Chico: I saw; give it a few episodes, we're going to see a drag out of SOME sort. Right now it's a work in progress, and that's going to lose it some points in my book. Not many, though.

	WOULD YOU RATHER...? WITH GRAHAM NORTON BBC America - 11p ET Saturdays
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C	B-	B-

Gordon: I'm going to grade this in 2 ways. For an entertainment value. it gets a B. This is "entertaining" and you'll find it funny, especially if you're warped like I am. However, if you're looking for something to fill your Game Show Saturday Night fix, keep looking. D. Hence, I'll average it out to a C. Good if you want something in the background while playing poker, bad if that's the only thing you're going to be watching,
Chico: Okay, I'm not going to be AS harsh, but it's along the same lines as me. I'm giving it an A- for entertainment and overall production value. As far as being competitive, it's got a ways to go, so C- there. That gives us a B-. It's not a bad show, though. It's a good start.
Gordon: It's not a bad show. It's just not what's on the cover of the box.
Chico: Right. Damn funny, though.
Gordon: We go from funny in a good way to funny in a painful way.
Chico: Oh dear.
Gordon: We're going to spread the love early, as our top story of the week is something that we're still trying to figure out.



Chico: Now as you know, this week was the America's Next Top Model all-star finale. And usually, we crown a winner, they get their prize package, and we never hear from them again. Unless you become a TV host OR marry a Brady.
Gordon: So let's just say you were on the show. I introduce to you...La Chicina!
Chico: ... this is wrong on so many levels.
Gordon: You're looking very lovely, La Chicona
Chico: I hate you.
Gordon: You'd love me once I present you this...CONTRACT FOR $100,000!!!!! And a healthy meal.
Chico: ... Now I can afford pants. And a belt.
Gordon: Now remember, you signed many contracts that indebt you to our program, including your soul and your first 3 children.
Chico: Right. Meaning the moment I step out of line, the CW will lay the smackdown.
Gordon: So that being said, what's the one thing you do NOT want to do once you get back to the modern untelevised world?
Chico: Let anyone in on the results.
Gordon: So if very early on in the show's run, we see a Twitter and Facebook posting (allegedly) of you winning and saying who the final 3 would be, how do you think ANTM would react?
Chico: Not very kindly. I did use the phrase "lay the smackdown". I imagine CW Smackdown was lain. Which would've been the manliest thing on the network since... well, Smackdown.
Gordon: And in this case, if it's early enough, it means you can go back and... re-edit. And supposedly, that's exactly what was done, as Angelea was disqualified and the title was instead awarded to Lisa.
Chico: Tell me it gets better.
Gordon: Well, it does, but not for Angelea Preston, who promised to have a 'Tell All' press conference on Saturday, but she backs out of it. According to 'The It Factor', the pressure (and threatened lawsuits) were too much for Preston, who said that she wanted Lisa to have as much of an unmarred victory as possible and said she would step out of the spotlight to give Lisa the camera time.
Chico: Let me guess... She didn't have a case. Or rather SHE had a case, but the CW had a stronger one and was going to hit her over the head with it.
Gordon: I don't think she has a case. I think she violated her contract and hence she loses the title.
Chico: Well, Angelea did the right thing (for once). Just retreat back into the shadows. And do the world a huge solid and stay there. She's not going to stay there, is she.
Gordon: Who knows. Now if you want any info from Lisa, it is in Lisa's best interest to say she has no knowledge of her losing the competition, so you won't get anything out of her.
Chico: And truth be told, she probably has no knowledge. Remember, they recut a lot of things.
Gordon: I think she would have some knowledge if she was eliminated. Now she may not know why exactly they had to re-edit, but if she was offered a second chance, she wouldn't say no. I wouldn't say not either. I'd smile, jump up and down, play the role of the happy elephant, and accept my money and get me some pants.
Chico: Agreed. Get me some nice Dockers.
Gordon: So we have some shenanigans that we won't be able to figure out what happened - and that's ok. However, we have more shenanigans on a different show - ones that may have sealed someone's trip to London in a few weeks.



Gordon: We're now down to four X-Factor contestants, and Nicole Scherzinger better enjoy her trip to England, because she won't be staying on the U.S. show.
Chico: Explain that one. I remember there being rumors flying that there may be a judge exchange with her and former Destiny's Child member Kelly Rowland. But didn't Simon quash that?
Gordon: Maybe he did, but not after Thursday's episode. We had Josh Kraczik, Melanie Amaro and Chris Rene, who are all safe. In the bottom are Rachel Crow and Marcus Canty. This is Rachel's first time in the bottom, while Marcus has been there so often that he may want to set up a pup tent in the middle of the stage on Thursday night.
Chico: #OCcupyXFactor.
Gordon: Heh. During the sing-off, Rachel clearly outsang Marcus. Simon and L.A. Reid defend their singers, as can be expected. Paula, for once, actually did the right thing here and voted to eliminate Marcus. This is where it gets dicey. Nicole sends the vote to deadlock because 1. She doesn't want to eliminate anyone and 2. She figured that America will do it for her, as Rachel hasn't been in the bottom. What's the role of the judges deciding who gets eliminated, Chico?
Chico: To eliminate someone.
Gordon: Yes, but what else?
Chico: To judge.
Gordon: What else?
Chico: I need a hint.
Gordon: Hint: Daughtry
Chico: Ah. To protect America from itself.
Gordon: Yes. To prevent the 'Shocking Upset'. So first of all, Nicole DOESN'T do her job, which is to prevent that, and second of all, that's exactly what happened. Hello, shocking upset as the lowest vote total was for RACHEL. So Marcus inexplicably stays in the competition, Rachel leaves, and the audience boos Nicole off the stage. Your job, as a judge, is to make the right decision on a CLEAR-CUT choice. Now Cowell, earlier on in the season, sent the votes to deadlock also, but the difference is that the 2 singers were really too close to call. Not in this case. There was a clear winner in the sing-off, and because Nicole didn't do the right thing, the wrong thing comes to bite her in the musical fanny pack.
Chico: Yep. Talk about really doing yourself in. Now she can say that she sucks as a judge on TWO shows.
Gordon: The moral of the story is - if you have a job to do, do it. Don't put your fate in someone else's hands. And she joins this list that she probably doesn't want to be on. Big Bored please?

Gordon: The Subject: Judges you DON'T want on your reality show. During the week, we made a list of judges that were....well...bad. Nicole makes the list at #5.
Chico: In at #4.... the Hoff. He could've been an effective judge, but he spent all his time giving us the viral favorites along the likes of Leonid the Magnificent
Gordon: #3. Matti Leshem, Star Search. The only way being a clone of Simon Cowell works is if you make sense. Matti didn't and it was his incoherent ramblings that helped doom the show. You can stick Naomi Judd in there as a close second.
Chico: #2... Ellen DeGeneres. Not so much HER fault, but she had no business being a musical judge on a musical show.
Gordon: And a note to Kara Dioguardi, you are no longer the worst judge on a Simon Cowell show. You can officially come out of whatever hole you've been hiding in.
Chico: And the worst judge of all... pause for effect...
Gordon: #1... Carnie Wilson / Jay Levy / Brian Scott, Karaoke Battle, USA. It's a 3 way tie here. None of them actually gave anything insightful or contributing to any of the performances, and it looked like most of the time that the judges were trying to score with the contestants. And I don't mean with points.
Chico: Ooooooh yeah. Bow bow chicka bow bow. So there's our five. You have a five, you can email it to WLTI@gameshownewsnet.com OR hit up our FB page. As for someone who could've gotten to five, but only managed one... enter another...



Gordon: Now let me state for the record that I know Tony Hightower and he's a good friend. He's a great guy and a very smart person. he host pub bar trivia on Wednesday nights at Dempseys in NYC. I've been on winning teams there and Chico was part of another winning team that we had on a show hosted by Hightower.
Chico: and I met Tony through Gordon. So there's that.
Gordon: And Tony also helped me with projects that I've been on. So there's some personal bias when I say...What were you thinking on that last Jeopardy bet, Tony? Set up the board, please
Chico: Tony's the champion with $12,600 to William Castaneda's $17,400 and Dan Kull's $1700. That's going into the Final Jeopardy!
Gordon: Ok. Lets figure out the betting here.
Chico: Now let's take Dan out of the picture first of all. He's a non-issue.
Gordon: If you look at it, it seems like the right bet is $4,801. HOWEVER, it's not.
Chico: No it is not.
Gordon: Why is it not?
Chico: Because if William gets it wrong, he's not going to bet to cover your doubled score.
Gordon: Well he IS going to be that way. The issue is you have to bet so you win if he gets the question wrong. If you bet that amount and you get the question wrong, he wins.
Chico: Right. The proper bet is between nothing and $3000. That's what the book says. BUT NO MORE.
Gordon: Right. I'd probably bet $0 and hope he gets it wrong.
Chico: If you weren't at all sure of the subject.
Gordon: Actually $2,800. So that's the bet. Let's see the question.
Chico: The question is in the subject of "Declaration of Independence Signers"

The only Roman Catholic signer represented this state

Gordon: What is (Rick) Perryland?
Chico: He's about as far from Roman Catholic as you can get. =p
Gordon: And that's how Maryland was born.
Chico: Correct.
Gordon: And that's the only Rick Perry reference we're going to have on the show. Unless we make fun of him.
Chico: Now before we said the best bet is anywhere between $0 and $3000. Tony... Love you Tony... bet $5000.
Gordon: No no no no no no no
Chico: No, Tony, that's a BAD TONY!
Gordon: SO instead of winning another 10 grand, Tony is one and done. However, he does win over $23,000, which makes him, in our mind...



Gordon: I did say I had a bias. Now Cochran is going to be leaving with significantly less than $23,000.



Chico: Well, I think he's up to $20,000. If it's still true that you get $2500 for every round you survive. We didn't give him much of a chance against Ozzy. And we're not giving much of a chance to Edna either, as she is voted out in a unanimous decision. And this is one of those things where it was decided at Tribal. Maybe before.
Gordon: Probably decided a month ago. The pecking order has been pretty clear here, and credit coach for making everyone feel safe. Edna finally got a hint on the last Tribal Council, but by that point, it's way too late.
Chico: Yup. Not for lack of trying, though. She did put Brandon in the crosshairs, if his father didn't do so already.
Gordon: The problem is that the move had to be made weeks ago, when she could have had a Edna / Rick / Cochran / Dawn / Whitney alliance
Chico: Now the move shifts to pecking each other.
Gordon: And if I'm Brandon and Rick, I need to be concerned. The time to make a move was last week. They will get picked off by the Albert / Sophie / Coach triad. Their only shot is to hope the winner of the Ozzy / Edna battle will align with them, but Ozzy has already blindly assume he's going to ally with coach and Edna certainly won't align with them.
Chico: So if I'm Brandon, I start fighting.
Gordon: But he won't because he won't betray his (nonexistent) alliance.
Chico: Dumb.
Gordon: The only person who'll make a move is Rick, but will he be able to sway Albert abnd Brandon? I dont think so.
Chico: One or the other - Albert - but not both. But we'll see. The next week will be interesting as we move toward a championship. We move toward another Millionaire... maybe...
Gordon: This brings us to our...


(DIVIDED BY 4)

Gordon: Set us up, Chico
Chico: This happened on Thursday's show, with Lori Ussery of Tampa facing this question for $250,000...

According to a legend popular among locals, the original Garden of Eden is located on the remote island of Praslin, which is where?
A: Maldives
B: Seychelles
C: Azores
D: Galapagos Islands

Chico: I got this one on a stone guess.
Gordon: Well lets look at this logically. The Garden is supposedly in Lebanon
Chico: Supposedly.
Gordon: Maldives is right by India, so that's out. Azores is on the other side of Europe, so that ain't it
Chico: So down to B and D.
Gordon: Galapagos Isles is by Ecuador. That's nowhere near Lebanon. Seychelles is right outside Africa and the Middle East. It's also right by Lebanon. That would be my final answer.
Chico: ... and you would have a quarter of a million dollars!
Gordon: Yay! Where's my check?
Chico: It's post-dated February 30. And it's in this hamster bin, with the entire Brainvision menagerie...
Gordon: Yeah, I see Cheeseball gnawing on it right now.
Chico: If you can grab it... you can have it.
Gordon: I'll save that for Fear Factor next week. For now, Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks Doug, and by the way... Happy birthday
Gordon: Speaking of which, here's the Datebook.

Fear Factor is on Monday for a whole new round of slime, etc. We also get the penultimate issue of The X-Factor and the end of Survivor.

Chico: Sunday, of course, is the finale of South Pacific.
Gordon: We go from 7 to 1 in a week.
Chico: And we'll go from one to two to zero right now. First, a greenlight... Imagine you have a good premise... And it ends up showing up on TWO networks.
Gordon: I like that

That's what's going to go down on January, as Oxygen has the Kimberly Caldwell-hosted "Best Ink" January 30, and Spike has the Dave Navarro-hosted "Ink Master" January 17

Chico: So tattooing is the new cookery. Apparently.
Gordon: I bet Jason Block would love to be a contestant on the show
Chico: Those go live on January, meanwhile, I had to go to the boneyard for the bat... And I had to get two.

First of all, something we've been waiting for since Black Friday in the poker world... GSN has officially canceled High Stakes Poker. Second bone... Club Millionaire. Out of nowhere, last Tuesday Disney/ABC pulled the plug, citing "unforeseen circumstance beyond our control".

Gordon: That is not a good sign for the TV show equivalent.
Chico: If I may take a guess...
Gordon: Please do.
Chico: I'm guessing the circumstance beyond control - It just wasn't gathering the interest or the revenue to be sustainable. Jeopardy! did the same thing last year with its Premier Club. Didn't have the numbers to continue.
Gordon: True. Money is a factor. It's too bad though. I liked the club.
Chico: I also liked the club. Gave people like me an out.
Gordon: And it was for smart people. However, I have stupid people.

Are YOU Smarter than...Angelea Preston. For the reasons mentioned above, which could be throwing a lot of money away for a silly impulse.

Chico: We've said it before. We'll say it again. Watch the social networking.
Gordon: It's done in many a career. It finally nails a reality contestant. And she can have a Haterade facial.
Chico: Yum.

Linda Bollea (Hulk Hogan's ex-wife) just released a tell all book featuring tales of Hogan doing thinkgs that Rick Perry would disapprove of, including domestic abuse and Hogan canoodling with other male wrestlers. Hence, Hulk Hogan is suing estranged / ex wife Linda Hogan for fabricating the stories. This is only going to get nastier.

Chico: Ew.
Gordon: I think both parties need to be fully loaded...and away from each other.
Chico: Yep

One of our favorite reality TV sites may be on thin ice. Reality Steve is getting sued by Mike Fleiss. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Stephen Carbone is accused of obtaining confidential information about the Bachelor series by contacting and soliciting information from participants, cast, crew, and other employees of the series.

Gordon: Well continuing the theme, you know how Angelea may have gotten bounced by revealing that she won her cycle?
Chico: Yep
Gordon: I believe him pasting the Final 4 of this season may have gotten himself the lawsuit.
Chico: Well... yes.
Gordon: Now we are not going to do that because 1. We don't believe in spoiling shows (I personally know all of the hard work that goes into a show and I completely respect the craft that people do) and 2. I don't want my (bleep) sued.
Chico: Continuing another theme of this episode... Remember when the fates determined that the Doctor had to die at the start of the season?
Gordon: Right
Chico: Basically, he was living out loud. So there you are.
Gordon: Well, I think that's a bit different than this. I mean when you spoil, you are drawing people away from the show, hence affecting ratings and putting shows in jeopardy of being renewed, hence putting people's jobs in Jeopardy, and I'm not one to take away someone's paycheck.
Chico: Of course. Speaking of reality show hoes... (play sLuda)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Kim Caldwell is hosting Best Ink, Ben Bailey talks about Who's Still Standing, Melanie Amaro may be dating a Stere...Chico, you say it.

Chico: Stereoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...... Hogg.
Gordon: Oink.

Karina Smirnoff breaks off an engagement, Rockapella performs in CT, Lisa Ann Walker is continuing to marry game show hosts...

Chico: She married Jeff Probst.

Nicole Scherzinger was supposedly crying for an hour and a half after her silly move, Emily Maynard says she is NOT dating Dallas Most Eligible's Matt Nordgren, and congratulations to Tristan Smith for winning Sweet Home Alabama 2, a show that Chico watches and admires just as much as seeing his UNC Basketball team losing to Kentucky.

Chico: Maybe a little more.
Gordon: Sweet Home Alabama 3. January 13. Don't miss it. But none of them is your ho of the week.
Chico: Who've you got?
Gordon: Your ho is Ryan Seacrest, who may be the new Today Anchor. Or he may be the new Regis and Kelly co-host. He's been linked to both jobs. Heck maybe he'll take both and will be competing against himself.
Chico: That'd be crazy. Of course it'd be easy to transition to Today, because NBC owns E!.
Gordon: And hence, the power of synergy. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Finally, let's go global.

QI pulls an episode after Jeremy Clarkson says something dumb.

Gordon: How dumb was it?
Chico: Killing striking public sector workers.
Gordon: Oops.
Chico: Yeah... Bad. HORRIBLE even.
Gordon: Hence the yanking. And well deserved.
Chico: And let's yank this for this week. Brobot?
Brobot: Beep beep a Cochran (shuts it down)
Chico: Still to come, we flip the mighty coins... but first, our own game of Would You Rather.
Gordon: We'll get to that in a moment. You're reading WLTI., You vge us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 babies that were not eaten during the process of creating this week's show.
Chico: Well... there was that rack of baby back ribs, but they were from a pig. So it doesn't count. =p

(BrainVision has been brought to you by the Jazinsky Couriers 2012 Major League Baseball Special! For this week only, you can get Ben Braun to show up at your door as a special delivery man! You don't have to order a major league contract worth of stuff, as we send the savings to you. Proudly endorsed by the Ricky Williams Emporium.)

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