Episode 28.8 - Oct-SNOW-ber
October 31

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and apparently, Wipeout wanted to establish the next Winter Wonderland set...on my parking lot. WTF?
Chico: Wouldn't be the first time.
Jason: This is OCTOBER right?
Chico: Right
Gordon: Well...no. This is OcSNOWber.
Jason: Unreal
Chico: And from somewhere in my snow covered driveway (wintry mix my arse), it's Ocsnowber... WLTI... is... ON!
Jason: HO HO HO!
Chico: Chico Alexander alongside Gordon Pepper... and our esteemed as always guest Jason the Abominable Snowblock
Jason: I will love him and kiss him and call him George :)
Gordon: What about if you call him Ozzy?
Chico: We're opening our opening round with...



Jason: Ozzy...(shakes my head) WHY?
Chico: And Ozzy Lusth taking a big risk in being voted onto Redemption Island. It won't work.
Gordon: Well that's your opinion.
Jason: Here we go :)
Gordon: But it's an awful, awful move. You never, NEVER, want to put yourself up on the block. For anything.
Chico: ANYTHING.
Jason: NOPE. And why give up the IDOL?
Chico: If I may quote Herm again.. You play to win the game. Ozzy thinks he knows something that everyone else doesn't. I shudder to think what he MAY or MAY NOT know.
Gordon: Have we not learned from our buddy Lawon what usually happens when you nominate yourself for something that dumb?
Jason: NOPE.
Chico: Obviously not.
Jason: This is crazy and puts Cochran in a huge position.
Chico: Huge power play opportunity, but the question is... will he take advantage of it?
Gordon: This puts Cochran in a great position. And he's smart, so I think he will take advantage of it.
Jason: I do too.
Chico: So watch what happens when he doesn't.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: Well Cochran's going to have a bigger problem if they come in wthout the numbers at the merge.
Chico: Which is still plausible.
Gordon: So now the next question is - are they smart enough to find the lower dregs in Coach's camp and bring them in?
Jason: Not at all.
Chico: Nope. And if it is indeed Cochran, it could easily bring him into the final.
Gordon: I agree. This is where athleticism = bad and social skills = good
Chico: We switch gears from exceptionally dumb gamers, to an exceptionally smart game now in our Capsule Review, the first of two.
Chico: Flashback to 2010... I remember 2010, you?
Jason: Yeah...last year.
Chico: ABC picked up an order of a game show based on a Russian series, one that employed six people trying to figure out a battery of logic puzzles. One that Merv Griffin, God rest his soul, was enamored with.
Jason: It was based on a game called "The Six"
Chico: Rather than put it on the schedule for the summer, ABC decided to give us another series of True Beauty instead, among other moves. Now after what seemed to be delay after delay, "Million Dollar Mind Game" finally airs.
Jason: And after watching it...I have no idea why it's here and not in primetime. This is a DAMN good show.
Gordon: Well let's see if the rest of us agree with you. The Good: The game is solid. I LOVE the format. I want to see this on primetime.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: It's full of polish. It's intriguing...
Jason: This is one of the SMARTEST shows on TV in YEARS.
Chico: And the playalong is just ridiculous. And the biggest surprise of all. Vernon Kay.
Jason: He works
Gordon: I'm not going that far.
Chico: You remember back in the 90s when we were giving Mark Walberg the business for hosting horrid show after horrid show. And were all like... SERIOUSLY? And then he hosted Russian Roulette and all of a sudden... Wow?
Jason: I am saying he doesn't hurt the show.
Gordon: The playalong is exceptional. The way the show gives up clues, etc., is nice.
Jason: It feels like A European Casino
Chico: But again, when you consider the battery of work... like that's hard.
Jason: The format = 6 people play for a million dollars in a serious of logic puzzles.
Chico: But it goes to show you what happens when the right host meets the right players meets the right format.
Gordon: Well the problem with these shows is with the format, not Walberg. It's almost like you guys are praising him for not sucking up the joint.
Jason: No I am liking Vernon Kay for this show.
Chico: As am I.
Gordon: So you're saying he's awesome because he doesn't suck.
Chico: No, we're saying he doesn't suck.
Jason: I dont think he sucks here.
Gordon: He didn't send this show to the depths like he usually does with most shows, so he's doing a fantastic job here.
Chico: See, even Gordon says so. But it's not without fault. The BAD...
Gordon: I don't reward hosts for mediocrity. He does conduit the show, but I don't think he adds anything to it.
Chico: Again, conventional game show trappings.
Gordon: But that's not my big problem with the show
Jason: What is it?
Gordon: The snowflakes fall to the ground faster than the pacing of the show. ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Jason: I don't feel that at all.
Chico: It doesn't know whether or not it wants to be a fast show or a slow one.
Gordon: And here's why, once again, the producers are making these self-contained episodes to make the pacing fit.
Jason: Ok.
Gordon: You can tell when the team is going far and when they aren't. You know this team is going to go far because the show moves along. The first episode was slow because the team was going to quit earlier.
Jason: Ah ok.
Chico: It's moving along because it looks like they're going to go all the way.
Gordon: Or at least get to the final question
Jason: I get it.
Chico: So we have an amazing game that is paced incredibly poorly. Is that going to be the norm?
Gordon: I'll assure you it will be.
Chico: Now we can grade it up based on the system used in show, where we just talk each other to death for 60 seconds...or just present now.

	MILLION DOLLAR MIND GAME ABC - 4p ET Sundays
	GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B+	B	B-	B

Jason: I will give it a B-. Great show, with the SAME GS problems.
Chico: I think it does a good enough job that I don't have to think about that sort of thing, so I'm going to give it a B.
Gordon: I'll go higher. B+. If it didn't suffer from GSCS, I'd give the show an A. The show itself is great. It just needs to avoid all the stereotypical stuff that comes with being an American game show.
Jason: Yes Very much so
Chico: We'll get to our second review in a moment, but let's go back to something ELSE that's on ABC.
Gordon: And ABC needs to give it some love. This is a show for people who think Jeopardy is for wussies.
Chico: Not only that.. consider ABC's target audience They're the type that like to see pop star's sons get voted out of dance floors.
Gordon: Well, I am.



Chico: But if you'll believe that... that wasn't the big story from the show this week. The big story, if you'll believe it, was a perceived anti-Hope Solo bias on the panel. Maksim, who happens to be her partner, naturally had a problem with this.
Gordon: We have Maksim being Maksim and arguing with Len Goodman, who is Len Goodman.
Chico: Bad boy vs. fuddy duddy.
Jason: BIG....NOTHING
Chico: More or less.
Gordon: The audience didn't care either, as they booted Chaz. And as the rest of the contestants go, so does Chaz into the whinery
Chico: Can't wait to hear this one.
Jason: Lets.
Gordon: So now Chaz complains that the women who want to lose weight get special treatment over him/her/it. I don't know where to start here.
Chico: ... Obviously. But try.
Gordon: Forget the sex change thing. STOP WHINING. YOU GOT BOOTED. DEAL.
Jason: Thank You.
Chico: Don't blame your shortcomings on anyone else.
Gordon: Or largecomings.
Jason: You aren't going to be the be all and end all of social experiments on DWTS
Chico: You weren't the first. You're not going to be the last. Especially if our campaign to get Jason on the show works. :-)
Jason: ROFL no.
Gordon: It won't. What about the attempt to get him on The Amazing Race?
Chico: Dibs on partners. =p
Jason: We should try it sometime :)
Chico: We'd probably do better than Liz & Marie, who join the litany of twins who fell just short.
Gordon: They were in the hole. They couldn't get out of the hole, despite the topsy-turvyness of the episode



Chico: How topsy-turvy, Brer Gordon?
Gordon: Amani and Marcus, who never finished better than 6th, come in 1st. Bill and Cathi, who were in the basement after the first episode, came in second.
Jason: Unreal.
Gordon: So Chico, how did THAT happen?
Chico: We're still in Thailand. We come across the Roadblock that asks for a Thai flute. But they have to dive into the water to find it. You can't miss it, it's attached to a clay fish. Meanwhile, in the SECOND Roadblock of the leg, the person who sat out the first one had to rebuild a spirit house that they had taken apart earlier. But before Liz & Marie could do ANY of that, they had to clean an elephant. And if you've ever seen an elephant, you know it's not easy. So they fall even FURTHER behind. They just couldn't make up the ground.
Jason: Yup
Chico: Well, Tommy & Zac, who looked strong at the outset, had trouble remembering how to build said shrine.
Gordon: How are your buddies from North Carolina doing?
Chico: They're still middle of the pack. They've YET to make a power move.
Gordon: Better than being booted
Chico: They're just chugging along. And I love my friends.
Gordon: AwwwwwwBarf
Chico: Make no mistake, but I'm not in this to suck up, I'm in this to be honest.
Gordon: Suuure You are
Chico: If they want to win, they have to find a move and make it.
Gordon: They don't need to make it now. But they will need to make it soon.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: Cause there's a twosome that you do NOT want to be, and that's the twosome that overbid on The Price is Right. Well...make it a foursome.



Chico: This week, we had four incredible, amazing, sexy Showcases... that are all going back to the CBS warehouse, because all four players OVERBID.
Gordon: Aw.
Jason: Drat.
Chico: So let's play along ... First Showcase was a trip to America's boardwalks: Santa Cruz, CA, Coney Island, and a sailboat. Gordon, bid or pass?
Gordon: Jason can have it
Chico: Jason?
Jason: $26,000
Chico: Jason bids $26,000. Gordon, you get the ultimate three-day weekend with two offroad motorcycles, a ski trip to Mammoth, and a Mazda 2 Sport, which you didn't get to replace the old-and-busted G-Mobile. Story here. We'll get to that later.
Gordon: Aw. $35,353
Chico: Actual price was... 24,925. You're over. Jason, your Showcase was... $24,226. You're ALSO over. Seriously, you guys?
Gordon: ...what? The snow's coming down, I have brain freeze.
Chico: Yes you do. I suggest a hat. Let's try this AGAIN.
Gordon: (Puts on Hat) ok.
Chico: First Showcase... date night.
Gordon: ...but I'm not dating Jay
Jason: Not at all :)
Chico: Looks, brains, AND charm.... and did I mention a sectional sofa, a home entertainment center, HDTV, movie of the Month club, and a 2012 Chevrolet Camaro?
Jason: Hello :)
Chico: Jason... what do you wanna do?
Jason: I want it.
Chico: Then hit it.
Jason: $30,000
Chico: $30,000 is the bid. Gordon... you get luggage and a chocolate tour of Europe going through London, Belgium, and Switzerland.
Gordon: Can I pass that to Jason also?
Chico: Judges?

(fart)

Chico: That would be a no.
Gordon: Ok. $22,269
Chico: Okay, Gordon... your Showcase...$23,705. A difference of $1436. VERY GOOD. Jason, your Showcase... $32,525... not as good as Gordon's.
Jason: But at least we didn't go over :)
Gordon: Do we get an accessory for that?
Chico: Yep. A Walmart burlap bag. We like to think green here. You can reuse this all the time.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: But can you make another accessory out of it? Such is the challenge facing our contestants in Lifetime's new series, "Project Accessory."
Gordon: I could. (Folds it into a dunce cap. Gives it to Jason)
Jason: (puts it on) How do I look?
Gordon: Gorgeous
Chico: "You get the feeling that you shouldn't have spun off a show?"
Gordon: I have that feeling. I mean the good - if you like Project Runway, you'll like this. There's nothing egregiously wrong with it.
Chico: Nope. At the same time, there's nothing overwhelmingly right with it either. It's just, "Hey, how can we fill time in on Thursday nights now that Project Runway is over? I KNOW!"
Gordon: The bad: Take a Xerox Machine and make it an accessory
Chico: I give you... the smart scanner. Now, Molly Sims I've had an eye on since high school. I mean, I wanted to do things....
Jason: (voice of Scanner) How would you like your program?
Chico: But on this show... Let's just say somewhere there's an American Apparel missing its mannequin. And that's being kind.
Gordon: They want to make the show edgier and bitchier. They only make it colder and less appealing to viewers.
Chico: It's like Kelly Choi on the first season of Top Chef Masters. You know she can host, but it doesn't necessarily mean that she SHOULD.

	PROJECT ACCESSORY Lifetime - 9p ET Thursdays
	GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C-	D	NO GRADE	D+

Gordon: There is such a thing as Charisma. The show needs that. So grade up time. The show works, but there's no reason to watch it if it's not appealing. That's on the talent for making the bag cold and the producers for not making it stand out like any other bag in the shop. C-
Chico: D. I mean, in the end, it'll carry what needs to be carried, but are you really going to be seen outdoors with it? Meanwhile, I have a bonus. Call it... "America's GAMER of the Week.



Gordon: Who do you got?
Chico: Before Project Accessory was the finale of Project runway. and you ever get this feeling... and now I'm quoting Steve Harvey... that you look at someone and you just KNOW. Enter the newest Project Runway champion ANYA, who I had pegged as the winner from day one.
Gordon: She earned it
Chico: Her only real competition was Victor... and maybe to an extent herself.
Gordon: She won three challenges and was never in the bottom 2.
Chico: This was hers to win.
Gordon: And she did it. Hence she gets this



Jason: That works :)
Chico: Meanwhile, I have this crazy murse for Cheeseball and Fluffy.
Jason: OH?
Chico: Yep. It's made of straw. All natural. Don't ask me how I did it.
Jason: I dont want to know.
Chico: I also have a nifty little book satchel for the bookworm.
Jason: This is impressive :)
Chico: Has his name on it and everything, "Drew". Again, don't ask me how I did it.
Gordon: I won't. The tag does say Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage though.
Jason: So it does1

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Dougie. We're gonna start things off with a greenlight...
Jason: Do you need the bat?
Chico: Yeah. It's actually a cricket bat.
Jason: (hands Chico the Cricket Bat) Impressive

BBC America is pushing back the premiere of "Would You Rather" to December 3.

Jason: A ha.
Chico: Now this is the network's first original production for itself. So why the move? No clue.
Gordon: Would you rather put a show that you have faith on during November Sweeps, or put a show that you have zero faith in during December on a Saturday, where no one watches?
Jason: oooh. Gordon nails it.
Chico: Well, it's on a Saturday anyway, so no one's going to watch it anyway
Gordon: Keep in Mind Dr. who was on Saturdays because that's when it airs in the UK, where that's a big TV night for them.
Chico: Not to mention the target audience is home that night.
Gordon: And we're geeks with nothing to do on a Saturday night, so it works for us. But for a US show, a Saturday night - willingly - spells trouble.
Chico: We'll see what happens with that show in December. Now would you rather me open the Datebook with Wednesday, or do you want to?
Gordon: I'll do it.

No new shows, but Tuesday is the first audience voting experience on the X Factor and Wednesday is Jeopardy's Tournament of Champions

Jason: The Tourney is ALWAYS a fun showcase.
Chico: I have the roster. Big Board me.

Chico: Calling it the 2011 Run for the Globe. The players include record breaker Roger Craig, plus superchamps Tom Kunzen, Joon Pahk, Tom Nissley, Jay Rhee, and Kara Spak. Also included are Teachers champion Charles Temple and college champion Erin McLean. Buddy Wright, Brian Meacham, Christopher Short, John Krizel, Justin Sausville, Mark Runsvold, and Paul Kursky round out the 15.
Gordon: I'm going to give the edge to Joon, just because he's recent and fresh.
Jason: But ANYTHING can and usually does happen. This will be FUN to watch
Chico: It seldom isn't.
Gordon: And if he wins, he's going to go on a trip, right?
Chico: Right. And it's going to have an exit strategy.

ITV has ordered "The Exit List" to series.

Chico: The game is a 24-room labyrinth in which you have to answer questions correctly and THEN remember all of the correct answers.
Jason: Wow.
Chico: Meanwhile, the Chinese want to limit talent shows, game shows, reality shows, and other such shows that have "excessive entertainment and vulgar content". Jokers Wild 90 wasn't THAT bad. :-)
Jason: Ok...I can see ARE YOU HOT? :)
Gordon: What about Married by China?
Chico: That's excessive AND vulgar.
Jason: Yes. :)
Gordon: What about dumb people?
Jason: We need more of them :)
Chico: *wheels in smartboard*
Jason: (wipes down smartboard with dry eraser)

Are YOU Smarter than...Maksim, who now has a broken toe to add to his whining.

Chico: Some people just call it karma.
Jason: I do too.
Gordon: We got more injuries, but this goes on Haterade.
Jason: (puts down cup)

Steven Tyler falls on his face on the shower. According to Tyler, it's food poisoning. According to the people Tyler was with the night before, it's excessive boozing and drugging. You can make your own judgment.

Chico: No comment.
Jason: Staying way away from comment.
Chico: Yup Instead, let's go over some X Factor voting.
Gordon: Steven needs to get Fully Loaded...uh...in a different way
Jason: Uh yeah...HIC

The X Factor moves into voting this week, and Verizon is offering five ways: 1) toll-free numbers. 2) text messaging or Verizon customers, 3) Online at TheXFactorUSA.com, 4) touch voting via the Xtra Factor app...and in a first, you can Tweet your vote.

Chico: Here's how it works, you go on the Twitter, follow the show @TheXFactorUSA, and then cast your votes via Direct Message.
Jason: WOW. what about smoke signal and carrier pigeon?
Gordon: You know the problem I have with this, right?
Chico: Probably the same problem I have.
Gordon: Who's the most likely to use Twitter to vote?
Jason: Lets hear it
Chico: Kids.
Jason: Great.
Gordon: So if you had a problem with young before, you'll really have one now. Advantage: Anyone in L.A. Reid and Simon Cowell's camp. And now for some media hoes.
Chico: (Plays "Pimpin")

In this week's Media Ho Report, Rupert Boneham is going for Indiana Governor, Crystal Bowersox acts in Body of Proof, GSN temas up with Scotty McCreary...Shawn Stockman and Boyz 2 Men come up with a new album, the Clue Crew goes to Youngstown, Simone Battle releases her sing;e 'He Likes Boys'...

Chico: More like "forces upon us for mass consumption"

Carrie Ann Inaba says she met her date on E-Harmony, Jennifer Lopez breaks down on stage, and Ken Jennings joins the 99%.

Jason: That was cute :)
Chico: Cute as it was, it doesn't top this week's Ho of the Week, I bet.
Gordon: No it doesn't. This week's ho is...Green Slime.
Jason: How does a liquid inanimate object win?
Gordon: When Marc Summers tells you how to make it.
Jason: Cool!
Gordon: Big Board please?

Gordon: Here's how you make Green Slime

1. Vanilla Pudding
2. Apple Sauce
3, Green Food Coloring
4. Oatmeal
5. Whatever was left on the Double Dare obstacle course that could be used.

Jason: (takes notes)
Gordon: So if you ever want to make your own green slime, now you know.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: We're here to educate as well as entertain.
Jason: That's a Brunswick stew of gak
Chico: And the best part is it tastes exactly the same coming up as it does going down.
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, that's Brainvision. Jason?
Jason: Shutting down.
Chico: Still to come, we had the musical Accuracy or Idiocy last week. This week, the non-musical version, but first... we're down to 12 on the X Factor. But who will come the closest to winning if the final were held right now?
Gordon: We've got that in our March Madness, which we'll get to next. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 phallic snow creatures I made on my front lawn. And Carrie Underwood, you really do not know what I did with you and the Scotty McCreery ice sculpture.
Chico: So THAT's what you were doing over the break.
Jason: Wow.

(Brought to you by Milk-Like Substance... looks like milk. Pours like milk. But with none of the calories, lactate, or flavor of milk... and no, I wouldn't even try to drink it with cookies if I were you)

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE