Episode 28.9 - The Fates Smiled Upon Me... and Then They Pulled My Plug
November 7

Chico: Hey gang. I'm Chico Alexander, and this week is one of those theme shows...
Gordon: We've been doing a lot of that lately
Chico: The theme: "The Fates Smiled Upon Me... and Then They Pulled My Plug". A lot of plans this week worked long enough to see them NOT work.
Gordon: So basically, they got to deal with the lack of power equivalent to the snowstorm of a few weeks ago
Chico: Basically. They got blasted back like that hour last night.
Gordon: I'M guessing we're starting with an island?
Chico: We may very well finish with one too. From somewhere in America... WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon Pepper here. along with Chico Alexander, as we start our show with a little idsland hopping.



Chico: If you recall last week, Ozzy threw a power play and decided... you know what? I'm going to challenge Christine on Redemption Island. Vote me off. And they did. This week, he accomplishes the seemingly impossible and takes out Christine for the win on Redemption Island.
Gordon: The thought was, they if Ozzy won, he would even up the odds going to the next Tribal Council
Chico: And he did.
Gordon: The first part of the plan - make sure you have an alliance behind you
Chico: Correct.
Gordon: However, we had a slight technical problem. Ozzy was an alliance of 1, The problem is you need 6, and someone wasn't on the same page as the rest of his alliance.
Chico: Ozzy is ready to play. And so is Coach.
Gordon: And so is Cochran, who saw that if he stayed in his alliance, he's finishing in 6th. He had to make a move, and that was far and away the right move to make.
Chico: So in comes Coach... Flip to our side, and vote with us. And you'll make it further. And he probably will now. A good move for him, but was it a good move to reveal that his was the vote that sent Keith to Redemption Island?
Gordon: Actually, yes. But not now.
Chico: Agreed. Cochran said too much too soon.
Gordon: Not that it matters now, but he did not have to be the target for a while, then played the hidden alliance card when it's time to blindside the dregs in coach's camp.
Chico: Correct. Now it seems like we have an alliance in the open. That's a dangerous position to be in.
Gordon: But the smart move is to align with Coach and Brandon and ride them. If he adds Dawn and if she's smart enough to accept, that can be your final four
Chico: It could be. IF the others are not smart enough to see that. If they are, though...



Gordon: Quack quack quack
Chico: Get your duck, Anaheim for the win. From one set of dead ducks to another as we begin our newest installment of the opening round...



Chico: Got all algebraic on you. This week was our first live voting round, and it seems in the three hours of TV that Fox gave them, we saw everything that was wrong with this show (and then some).... and yet at the end of the day, the right act went home.
Gordon: Well, the right act that America selected.
Chico: Right. Doing a quick sum-up of events. The judges pick the songs for each of their acts. These choices royally suck. The best of the best manage to take lemons and turn them into lemonade (Melanie Amaro). The worst of the worst turn lemons into fertilizer. And after a few bloated montages and a lip-synching group number, we're left with our first bottom two: InTENsity and the STEREOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....(beats chest while holding the O).... Hogzz.
Gordon: Lovely.
Chico: Now you can imagine that the 11 million people who watched the show were none too pleased with the groups seen and I wouldn't blame them. The Stereo Hogzz did Rhythm Nation in an almost carbon copy of Janet Jackson's performance of said song. Right down to the militaristic uniforms and army of grunts in the background. Didn't really show off their vocal skills that got them to the party.
Gordon: Everything this week, from the piss poor song selection to the Milli Vanilli lip synching at the results screamed 'WTF"
Chico: And then you have InTENsity, which, for the duration of the contest, have sung about as well as 10 people who have not yet hit puberty. And, and this is me sounding like a broken record, song selection did not help them. Seemed like we had a case of ten people not knowing who they are as a group, and no one is helping them.
Gordon: I'm starting to know them and I'm not too thrilled about it.
Chico: Their selection AND performance of the mash-up of "Kids in America" and "Party Rock Anthem"... You could open a fondue restaurant with the amount of cheese in that. And if I may, a man much wiser than I once said, "You're a complete moron if you're a tween or a teen and you think that a producer or judge has your best interest at heart."
Gordon: I believe that was me.
Chico: Why yes. Yes it was. So it comes down to a final showdown between the two groups... The Stereo Hogzz go back into vocal mode with "Emotion" by Andy Gibb. InTENsity continue to be cheesy with "My Life Would Suck Without You", which ironically was performed on "Glee". Stereo Hogzz had chemistry there. InTENsity Did not.
Gordon: They both broke the rule for the 48 hours we were stuck listening to them.
Chico: True, but the Hogzz were less egregious about it when it mattered.
Gordon: I'll accept that
Chico: And apparently Simon wasn't watching the same show we were, because he voted to keep the kids.
Gordon: It doesn't really matter either way. Neither group is getting too far here.
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: Are dancers going to get any farther?
Chico: Not David Arquette, that's for sure. And for the first time, we have a celeb who's a little humane about being voted off.



Chico: You have to admire the guy's motivation. He said it point blank, "I did this for my daughter."
Gordon: I think it's great. I think he realizes the whole idea of the show. I'm glad someone does.
Chico: He wasn't at his best, but at the same time, he was not the worst dancer.
Gordon: No, but now, we start getting rid of the mediocre.
Chico: Not really. The legal snob with the big gob is still in it. :-)
Gordon: She's got the Bristol Palin vote behind here. She could make final 3.
Chico: She could. She'd never win, though. She's got to beat one Ricki Lake, one JR Martinez, and a Kardashian.
Gordon: It depends on the judges and the voting. If she makes it to the final 3, we'll be discussing it more in detail. I have a feeling she won't though. We also won't be seeing Tyler Stone hoisting up a Top Chef Victory trophy



Chico: And the cow is a propos, because we're going to Texas. Everything's bigger in Texas. So is the competition, as we see 29 people compete for the coveted title of Top Chef.
Gordon: And so is the seriousness immediately. We start with 29 chefs. Only 16 of them will make the show, which means 13 have to leave. And leave they do - some of them without even getting to the point that the judges can taste their food.
Chico: So you're probably asking... How in the world are we going to get from 29 to 16?
Gordon: The answer: Viciously (brandishes cleaver)
Chico: You know the old saying... Good artists copy, great artists steal. Well, this elimination phase is directly out of the Nigel Lythgoe playbook.
Gordon: A combo Nigel Lythgoe / Ted Allen treatment.
Chico: The first phase... Cook an entire pig. You take a part of the pig, cook it, present. If they like it, you get a jacket and are in the final 16 and an official cheftestant on Top Chef Texas. If not... You leave broken and humiliated.
Gordon: Or if you screw up along the way, like Colin, who spilled soup on his presentation plates and got eliminated without even presenting the food, or Nina, who didn't plate the pig (wha?) or Tyler, who was eliminated before the challenge even ended.
Chico: BUT... If you deadlock the panel, you will be put on the bubble, meaning that you will be made to sing... err, dance... err... COOK... for your life in the next round.
Gordon: Fortunately for Amazing Race fans, the team on their bubble got to come back and compete again.



Chico: That would be the perennially lost Amani and Marcus Pollard. This leg, we go from Thailand to Malawi. Airplane proves an equalizer, BUT, and this is where Amani & Marcus go from win to fail THE FIRST TIME, they get a seat in the back of the plane. If that wasn't bad enough, they get the only cab in Malawi that is stuck behind an engagement celebration, which is apparently a big deal in Malawi. So the Racers were going through the motions, all the while Marcus & Amani were in the back, and Justin & Jennifer were the first team to check in! EXCEPT there's a little stipulation in the Race rules about settling your debts before you are allowed to check in. THAT is relevant, because also in the back of the pack were Bill & Cathi, who also don't pay your taxi. Pay your taxi, folks. That's just good life advice. They make it back to the Pit Stop, and that leaves the NFLer in last... BUT it's a Non-Elimination Leg, so they're returning next week.
Gordon: Meanwhile, you're North Carolina buddies are doing well for themselves.
Chico: Why yes, yes they are. Except for that one blubble of an error.
Gordon: You realize what's going to happen when / if they get knocked out, don't you?
Chico: You're totally going to give them the business end. More so than usual.
Gordon: Maybe :) but for now, let's go to the Jeopardy! End
Chico: And if the first three games are any indication, we are in for a KILLER tournament.
Gordon: Great stuff going on
Chico: We had two of the three prelims end in complete, utter, and if I'm being completely honest... EXPECTED blowouts. Those were won by Joon Pahk and Roger Craig. Both real deal Holyfield players. What I didn't expect were...



Chico: What does it say to you that we could possibly have a wild-card contender who is standing on $285?
Gordon: Oy.
Chico: This is game one: Tom Nissley vs. Jay Rhee vs. Charles Temple. Tom has $16,400 to Jay's $12,000 to Charles' $400 going into the final. Let's see how you do with WORLD CITIES.

A member of the Hanseatic League, this city with a 4-letter name was once known as the "Paris of the Baltic".

Gordon: What is Riga?
Chico: Correct. Riga, Latvia.
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: Jay remembers that the point of week 1 is to get to week 2, and only bets $4400. He can stand to tie Tom if he bets nothing. No one'll fault him for that. Tom doesn't bet nothing. He bets three bucks. Again, point of week 1?
Gordon: Get into the next round. Both men on top play it right. So does our 3rd place person. The only problem is he only has $400.
Chico: But HERE's where it gets slightly moronic. Roger Craig completely OWNS game two.
Gordon: As expected
Chico: Brian Meacham and Kara "What is a threesome" Spak are basicallly competing for wild card position. Brian has $8800, Kara $6000.
Gordon: The Final Jeopardy Question please?
Chico: COUNTRIES' HIGHEST PEAKS.

These 2 nations, on an island, have highest peaks with the same name; they also share a common European culture.

Gordon: What is Dollywood and Dollyland?
Chico: Insert joke here.
Gordon: Dolly Parton has nice big twin peaks. She should be proud of them.
Chico: But does she have an island?
Gordon: She's got mounds, rocks and craters. Doesn't that count?
Chico: ... eh, we'll think about it. Correct: what are Greece and Cyprus. That's KEE-proose.
Gordon: I beg your Parton?
Chico: Anyway, one of the main rules of Jeopardy!, and this goes for ANY game of Jeopardy! You can't win with nothing.
Gordon: Last time I checked, no
Chico: That's just good life advice. So you have $8800. You want to be left with SOMETHING for a possible wild card bid. I'd say, $5000 at the very LEAST.
Gordon: No you don't. This is the Tournament of Champions. $5,000 will not get you in. $8,800 won't get you in. I don't even think $13,800 gets you in. You HAVE to gun the works here
Chico: Not under normal circumstances. You do have to bet and bet big. But again, you can't win with nothing. Brian blows the wad on a wrong response.
Gordon: Actually, I don't have a problem with that at all. You won't win with $8,800. $17,600 seems safe to me, especially on the first show with the betting. You already have a $16,400 wildcard. so $13,800 isn't going to be that safe either.
Chico: $17,600 is a safe amount, but you want to run the risk of leaving the show with nothing?
Gordon: You don't leave with nothing. You live with $5,000 just for showing up.
Chico: You leave with $5000 for showing up. That's true.
Gordon: What do I want. $5,000 or $250,000?
Chico: That's $245,000 LESS than what you COULD leave with. You play to win always.
Gordon: But if you bet conservative at $8,800 and don't make a Wild Card slot, you're leaving with the same $5,000 as me, who bet the whole thing.
Chico: And sometimes to win, you have to lose. Otherwise, what's the point?
Gordon: The point is, you play to win. I have no problem with the $8,800 bet.
Chico: There's still a chance that you make wild card if you will have something. If you have zero... you have no chance.
Gordon: $5,000? really? Not a chance As you said, he wasn't going to win. You have to go for the Wild Card spot.
Chico: Tom Kunzen makes the SAME bet on the Friday show. So already, two people going home. With $5000. And the bubble score to beat? $285. That. Doesn't. HAPPEN!
Gordon: Still have more episodes to go Meanwhile Ken Jen is offering up $500 in newspaper clippings that the Sean Connery celebrity Jeopardy character will win more money than the $285 winner on his next episode.
Chico: I'll take that bet. *throws down the Sunday Times* Meanwhile, roll the thing.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks Doug. As I said before...

Monday and Tuesday, the prelims of the J! Tournament of Champions continue.

Chico: Here's your preview.

Chico: We're calling this one, "The Rest of the Best". Monday's match features College Champion Erin McLean taking on multi-gamers Paul Kursky and Buddy Wright. Tuesday: Justin Sausville, who opened season 28, takes on Mark Runsvold and Christopher Short. Interesting matches to be sure, but whoever wins will have their hands full. Because the three winners so far... mighty are their buzzer fingers.
Gordon: Very mighty.
Chico: Any more notes of interest this week?
Gordon: Nope, but I'd like a bat please
Chico: Here you go.

Despite our whining about it, The X Factor is FOX's #1 show in the fall, and hence gets a deserved renewal.

Gordon: Is it worth the hype? no. Worth a renewal? yes.
Chico: Yep. You don't raise numbers on Thursdays and not get rewarded.
Gordon: Very true. You want a greenlight?
Chico: Yes. Yes I do.

Who's Still Standing, the on again off again on again game show that has some of our contributors on it, is now on again as an December 5 night a week special. It's either planning a launch - or just getting burnt off. You decide.

Chico: Well, it's taking the same route as many a December hit... and many a December failure. So yeah, it's heads-or-tails at this point, and if I'm NBC, I'll take what i can get, and I'll take my chances.
Gordon: I'm guessing the lack of hits the network has spurred this move on the show.
Chico: Again, I'll take what i can get and I'll take my chances. But if I'm NBC, I am counting down the days until The Voice returns.
Gordon: You're running that right up against...American Idol. Good luck with that.
Chico: Again, American Idol is American Idol. An interesting battle of the bands. Next up, idols of the non-American variety. Let's go to India.

If you don't know who Sushil Kumar is by now, shame on you. If you do, then you know why we're mentioning him. He is the very first winner of "Kaun Banega Crorepati", the Indian version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire", hence his nickname, the real-life Slumdog Millionaire.

Chico: You want to see the question?
Gordon: Sure
Chico: Here it is for $1 million.

Which colonial power ended its involvement in India by selling the rights of the Nicobar Islands to the British on October 16, 1868?

A) Belgium
B) Italy
C) Denmark
D) France

Gordon: The Danes owned it, so it would be Denmark
Chico: ... IT WOULD BE DENMARK!
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Sushil Kumar wins $1 million (more or less). You...feel better about yourself.
Gordon: I feel better about me. You may feel better about yourself when we hear tales of stupidity.

Are YOU Smarter than...Adam Lambert, who is sued by Colwel Entertainment after allegedly auditioning for American Idol while under contract with them. Of course, that's an American Idol no-no, so expect FOX to also send some lawyers after Lambert.

Chico: So would that have made Adam.... an INELIGIBLE?
Gordon: Why yes. Yes it would.
Chico: Cue dramatic music. Is this going to be like that one time when that one guy vacated the Heisman?
Gordon: I doubt it, since Adam didn't win. but he may have to cough up some dough though. Haterade Cookie Dough, anyone?
Chico: Oh, he's got the dough to cough up. Right now I want you to cough up some Haterade.
Gordon: Ok then...

Kelly Osbourne splits her head open and gets to go to the hospital. Meanwhile, if you had how long Kim Kardashian's marriage at less than 3 months, congratulations! You win!



Chico: And...Three... two... one... and ... Still don't care.
Gordon: Here's some more.

Nathan Hagerman, who won a million on Red or Black, gives his girlfriend $60 before booting her out of his apartment. Finally...



In the Flow by Affion Crockett (of the Wild N Out Team) is now Zombie Chow. Perhaps Affion needed some more of his WNO buddies from the show. They all need something to do now.

Chico: Except for Nick Cannon, who has nothing BUT work. Betcha didn't know this, but Affion Crockett is a Fayetteville native.
Gordon: He needs to get loaded.
Chico: Yes he does. Last week, we had Family Feud & Friends as a new iOS app.

This week, we have the Feud... in HD. On your TV. Because Family Feud gets renewed to 2015, and the show will shoot in HD for the first time next season.

Gordon: And good for them. It's nice to see the show succeed and grow
Chico: I'm going to make a bold statement, the kind of statement that we're known for around here. Steve Harvey singlehandedly saved the show.
Gordon: I'm not going to go that far. i will say that he helped out a lot. What about he created a new renaissance for the program?
Chico: I'll take new Renaissance. But consider this: They moved the show for him. TWICE. They will give Steve the moon if it means he hosts to 2015.
Gordon: Will they give him new media hoes?
Chico: CHRIS PAUL! :-) (plays "Pimpin All Over the World)
Gordon: Heh

In this week's Hodometer, Ben Bailey goes to Penn State, Dexter Haygood claims he quit The X Factor, Beth Melewski tweets that Cash Cab Chicago got cancelled...



Ryan Seacreat teams up with Reese Witherspoon, Mark Burnett will produce Spike's Video Game Awards, Sweet Home Alabama will be moving to Friday nights... JR Martinez will be the Rose Parade Grand Marshall in 2012, Kate Gosselin is writing for a coupon site, and Ashley Hebert says she will not wear a white wedding dress. Chico needs to be filled in on everything Ashley Hebert.

Chico: Does SHE have my sandwich?
Gordon: Do you want her to have it?
Chico: No, not really. I just want a damn sandwich. :-D
Gordon: But none of them are your hoes of the week. Your hoes are Ted Allen, Masaharu Morimoto, Gordon Ramsay, Guy Fieri, Mario Batali and Wolfgang Puck.
Chico: Who are six people who have never been in my kitchen?
Gordon: True, but why, you ask? Here's why. I'm guessing cartoons haven't been in your kitchen.
Chico: They're on all the time.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, time to close it up. Still to come, Gordon is the ultimate pitchman in our new game, but first... no man is an island, but these people come pretty close.
Gordon: We'll go island hopping after the break. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 people you would not want to be getting singing lessons from. 4 of those people you can see on FOX on Wednesday and Thursday evenings.
Chico: *nods*

(BrainVision has been brought to you by That's My Turkey. Sure, America has had talking parrots and birds, and dogs who run, but in this competition, we get to see the best in trained turkeys. And no, Newt Gingrinchi on a leash doesn't count.)

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