Episode 28.7 - WLTI: The
Chico: This is Chico Alexander... welcome to a
musical in four acts.
Gordon: (Grabs Popcorn and 3-d glasses. Site down)
Chico: It's the story of the smart, the stupid, the winners and the losers, and
two intrepid geeks looking to break it all down and tell you what the hell it
all means. So that said... from the Palace Ballroom from somewhere in America...
WLTI... The Musical... is... *hums an A natural* ON!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon Pepper here, along with Chico as we break down this week's
action in game show history.
Chico: We're going to start things off this week with the latest chapter in the
biggest non-event of 2011. The X Factor has its top 17.
Chico: And you know something... I can't help but feel a little bit had.
Gordon: You mean used like a condom that gets lubed but never put in action?
Chico: Something like that yeah. We have the chance to give someone with the
total package, voice, face, story and all, a chance at superstardom, and we end
up with 17 acts, only a handful of which actually deserved their places.
Gordon: Let's add to that this nugget - you have an obvious favorite being cut,
and then Simon Cowell changes his mind and puts her in 'his' group, making a Top
17. Like we didn't see this one coming.
Chico: But yeah, apparently if you're "X Factor's" answer to G-d, you can do
Gordon: I don't think so. I think it was staged
Chico: NO. REALLY?!
Gordon: There's a lot of stuff here (the addition of 17, 2 groups combined from
singers, etc.) that made me feel a lot of this is more staged than your standard
high school musical.
Chico: You mean to say we just happen to have this footage of Melanie Amaro with
the rest of the contestants just in case?
Gordon: I sense dripping sarcasm, Chico.
Chico: Grab a bucket, buddy, I've only just begun. Let's take a look at the
standings... Big Bored me, sir.
We're Going to Give One of THESE People $5 MILLION?!
- GUYS: Phillip Lomax, Astro, Marcus Canty, Chris Rene
- GIRLS: Tiah Tolliver, Rachel Crow, Drew, Simone Battle, Melanie Amaro
- GROUPS: InTENsity, Lakoda Rayne, Brewer Boys, Stereo Hogzz
- OVER 30s: Josh Krajcik, LeRoy Bell, Dexter Haygood, Stacy Francis
Chico: This one's called, appropriately enough...
"We're Going to Give One of THESE people $5 Million?!"
Gordon: By the way, around a month ago, when we were set to grade this show, we
marked it as incomplete and said we'd return to grade it. Well, now we're back
to do so.
Chico: We'll get to that. But first, here are your top (wtih small letters and a
question mark) 17.
Chico: LA Reid has the hot guys with no guitars... Phillip Lomax, Brian "Astro"
Bradley, Marcus Canty and Chris Rene.
Gordon: They are talented, but are any of them likable?
Chico: I can see where Marcus and Chris can be made a case for... but Phillip
Lomax seems to droll and Astroboy reminds me of a guy who was discovered on
YouTube and doesn't know how to handle the whole ordeal.
Gordon: You mean Mr. I want to have a staged argument with Simon thinking it may
get me votes?
Chico: I could've seen where you would want to cheer on the likes of Tim Cifers,
but that's just me. Humble, down to ground, salt of the earth kinda contry guy..
who could sing Luther. So yeah, Marcus and Chris. You want to root for them.
Especially Chris, who's still clean, we hope. Simon has five women under him.
His dream come true. Let's see, we have Tiah Tolliver, Rachel Crow, Drew
Rynewicz, Simone Battle, and the X-tra factor, Melanie Amaro.
Gordon: Yes, but Tiah is a nightmare
Chico: You want to talk about nightmares? Tiah and Simone ... TOGETHER.
Especially Ms. I forgot the lyrics so I'm just gonna sing anyway and see where
it takes me. Fierce.
Gordon: You get 4 (err....5) people to select, and you select that?
Chico: You could've kept Rugby Girl.
Gordon: I like good singing. I don't know if I find it here.
Chico: You won't. You'll see a couple of good attempts out of Rachel Crow and
Melanie Amaro... who honestly should've gone in OVER the aforementioned two.
Gordon: Will I find any in the groups?
Chico: Here's what Paula did. Paula... being Paula... went with heartstrings
Gordon: And this surprises you...how?
Chico: Not at all, just stating a fact. We have the two groups of mighty morphin
power rejects... InTENsity and Lakoda Rayne. Joining them: the Brewer Boys and
Gordon: It's more like the Mono Hogz
Chico: Okay, let's talk about these groups. Brewer Boys are good if you're a fan
of Mumford & Sons. But they're a cut-rate Mumford & Sons. They could've put in
4Shore and the Anser and I would've had NO problem. Instead, we get cut-rate
Jodeci, cut-rate Mumford & Sons, the cast of Majors & Minions, and Taylor Swift
and her Action Rangers.
Gordon: I think those were the better choices. That being said, I'm not
expecting much from any of them.
Chico: Here's MY thing. There was a reason why the 14 people who made up two new
groups were cut in the first place.
Gordon: They couldn't find 4 good groups
Chico: Of course they did. They only took two of them because Paula didn't want
the weight of having cut a group of rejects TWICE. Because this is Paula Abdul
and this is what she does. As for the elder statesmen... the wine group, the
group that gets better with age, I have Josh Krajcik to win.
Gordon: I agree.
Chico: Joining him in this group: LeRoy Bell (also deserved). And then you have
Dexter Haygood and Stacy Francis. I understand where Stacy Francis came from...
but honestly... could you have at least CONSIDERED Elaine Gibbs?
Gordon: I actually think the right choice was made here. Sob stories aside, I
don't think Stacy or Elaine is going to make it too far - possibly being the
first castoff in the elimination rounds.
Chico: I think one of the Frankengroups is going to get cut first. Now to the
two things we were going to get back to.
Chico: First of all, you need to understand that this isn't just about who had
the greater voice for the best stage presence. This is about who's going to make
Simon Cowell the most cash money. The bottom line is dollar signs, and like'em
or not, he's going for the most polarizing, most attention grabbing group, not
so much the best or the most of anything. So yeah, that's why I'm feeling used.
Gordon: Well if you look at the UK version, the judges, in the first episode,
cut the groups to 3 members each, without the audience's help.
Gordon: So I see a Frankengroup, an Elaine, and 3 others cut first. Then it's up
to the audience
Chico: Right. With that, LET'S GRADE UP. We have noticeable flaws that are not
addressed OR fixed. No real hero to root for (except for those we are indeed
rooting for, and you know who they are)...
Gordon: The bottom line here is that The Voice did a successful poaching of this
Chico: Indeed. D.
Gordon: But even without The Voice, this still has a lot of unoriginality and
technical faults so that even if The Voice didn't exist, this wouldn't make the
Chico: Sorry, Simon, but you've been X'ed. Let's break from the singing and go
to a dancing number.
Chico: Carson Kressley is gone, America... and surprisingly... He's cool with
it. (And that is why we love Carson Kressley).
Gordon: He has no one to blame but himself for his decision of dance.
Chico: And he looks more the cheerleader than his partner does. You look at that
and just say.. "NO!!!!! STOP!!!!!"
Gordon: It was ugly. Welcome to the Arcadian Kressley Cheerleading special,
featuring the Miami Dance Squad and a dumbass bird mascot.
Chico: So there's that. No real science to it. Carson just did a lot of really
really bad things, really, really badly. AND everyone else was just better than
him. Chaz and Hope Solo included.
Gordon: Though the scores don't really show it, there was a huge gap between
Carson and everyone else this week.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Gordon: Just like a huge gap between musical numbers. What's the next song?
Chico: Next song is... I have no instruments and I must make music!
Gordon: So we're going to see good musical groups perform?
Chico: Perhaps. But we're also going to see the scary ones. Luckily, the scary
ones go bye bye this week as all 10 groups perform as one. I'm going to need a
board with a mouth drum.
Gordon: I believe the theme was guilty pleasures?
Gordon: Some of them were pleasures. Others were just guilty.
Chico: Let's start with the Yellowjackets with Wannabe. Yes they were goofy..
They were also "flarp". It's a Shawn Stockman word, it means "pitchy, dawg".
Gordon: It should be banned to the 1880s.
Chico: I thought the breakdown was cute, but that's pretty much it, and the
group's own words come to haunt them AND some other groups. The words..."Our
arrangement needs depth, otherwise, it's not music." You need depth. You need a
bass line, drums, something to tie everything together from start to finish.
Gordon: Well, the problem is that it should be music, regardless. If you need
depth, that's an issue. And sometimes too much depth is just as bad as not
Chico: Speaking of not enough depth, Unfortunately, Delilah ALSO needed depth
from start to finish.
Gordon: Let's go to the 80's with Delilah and Flashdance, complete with hideous
Chico: They did "Flashdance... What a Feeling"... You know what I was feeling?
Gordon: Besides why isn't the lead vocalist on pitch?
Chico: Yeah. Vocal nausea. It's hard to stay on pitch with that particular
number, but not impossible. And again, "If everyone is singing the same thing...
it's not music."
Gordon: What happened to the hard rockers we got on Week #1?
Chico: I don't know.
Gordon: Where is the vocal intensity? This was flat flat flat, bland and
Chico: Granted, it's good enough to survive, but the group is no longer good
enough to win.
Gordon: They are good enough to win. They need to go back to what made us say
'Wow' instead of us saying 'Ho Humm'. We need the attitude back.
Chico: And unfortunately, neither is North Shore, who, after they broke out last
week with a killer "Lazy Song", get lazy with "The Power of Love".
Gordon: I actually liked the arrangement. The lead vocal was atrocious.
Chico: They chose that over "Mmmbop"... I would've stuck with Mmmbop.
Gordon: I think MmmBop would have been a better choice
Chico: It would. It's a decision that costs them DEARLY. *removes name from the
Gordon: That's a song made for an a cappella choice for that
Gordon: And it's quirky. It would have been a fun choice. Instead, we got an
overplayed undersung song. Speaking of Overplayed songs - who's up for some I
Chico: The Collective sang "I Will Survive". They made ONE mistake. The first
soloist.. the chick with the robust boom, should've fronted the entire thing
with a countermelody at the chorus.
Gordon: I agree completely. She was shaky at the beginning and didn't do enough
with her solo opportunities. She was shadowed by her second woman.
Chico: See? THAT. CAN'T. HAPPEN.
Gordon: This should have been the other way around. The second woman should have
been singing the vocals. That being said, this had the emotional timbre the
other groups up to this point didn't have.
Chico: But you get what I'm saying.
Gordon: Completely. And you're right
Chico: This was a good song sung decently... but it only needed ONE singer.
Gordon: They had one singer. They had the wrong one.
Gordon: Rachel needed to do the lead.
Chico: I would've dug that.
Gordon: They did sing well together though, and they had a good performance..
Chico: they needed one.
Gordon: Again, like Delilah, they had a big start, but sort of regressed. This
was a nice bounce back song.
Chico: Yep. But let's talk about regression some more. Jessie was a friend. He
had a girlfriend and I totally called dibs. Dartmouth Aires had a similar story.
Good song choice, but it was too much on one end and not enough on the other.
Needed more solo and less group.
Gordon: Now you know I'm not their biggest fan. For me, that was their best
performance of the competition.
Chico: I know.
Gordon: And I'll slightly disagree with you here. I thought the group was nice
and there was just enough solo.
Chico: I could hardly hear it.
Gordon: The other thing about this group - their choreography makes up for a lot
of their mistakes. You're distracted by their movement and high kicks to hear
the vocal fault. I think this time it works.
Chico: They're collegiate. It's almost a law to have goofy choreo. Trust me on
this. I've been there.
Gordon: Goofy Choreography = Good song
Chico: Unfortunately Afro-Blue didn't get the memo... and it wasn't the lack of
choreo that took them a step back but the song choice. Whitney Houston? And THAT
particular Whitney Houston song?
Gordon: How many times have we heard that song on Idol?
Chico: One time too many.
Gordon: how many times have we seen that song kill potential superstars?
Chico: Too many to count. Whitney Houston is on the list of people to avoid
Gordon: The beginning was good. The exposition to the final coda was what killed
them. They slowed it down, kept it off rhythm, and the modulation was painful
Gordon: The song was too big for them.
Chico: I Wanna Dance With Somebody is not a draggy song.
Gordon: The samba breakdown broke down
Chico: That didn't make ANY sense. If you wanted to break down, you have to have
it make sense (see the Yellowjackets fish & chips breakdown from earlier).
Gordon: That didn't kill them, but it didn't do them any favors.
Chico: I could share another war story, but we're limited on time, so let's go
to Pentatonix and ... the Buggles! Video Killed the Radio Star.
Gordon: This is the first one I actually liked.
Chico: Everything was tight, relevant, I liked what they did with the robot!
Gordon: They did everything right here, from a technical standpoint. I liked the
robot, but what I also liked is that they selected a song that wasn't pounded
into the ground.
Chico: They could've gone safe with it. They didn't. It was a power move. It was
fluid in its machinery.
Gordon: Now THIS is the way to switch gears in a song - keeping the rhythm going
while switching styles.
Chico: Same could not be said for the Deltones with "Listen to Your Heart"....
so... *removes name off board* Here's the thing. Their main problem was that
they were too stiff. This song is supposed to be flowing like satin bedsheets.
Instead, it made Pat Finn look like Jeff Sutphen by comparison.
Gordon: Way to alienate the fans, Chico.
Chico: ... We're going to get some letters!
Gordon: The address is Chico@gameshownewsnet.com. And then you can send some
more to Gordon@gameshownewsnet.com when I say that it made the Rapping Dragon
look like Jeff Sutphen by comparison.
Chico: Almost like they were telling themselves "Don't be stiff, don't be stiff,
don't be stiff." And they did that so much that... hello, they looked stiff.
Gordon: It's hard, moldy cheese. Some groups took 80 songs and made them
relevant, like our previous group. The Deltones...didn't.
Gordon: If you don't want to be stiff, you need to select a bouncy song,
something that makes you move around, like Video Killed the Radio Star...or like
Poison, by BBD
Chico: Urban Method got the memo. Somewhere, Bell Biv Devoe is bobbing their
heads. Best of the night. And it was a lucrative choice because... Don't know if
you remember the East Coast Family...Michael Bivins... discovered Boyz II Men...
whose high tenor Shawn Stockman ... is a judge.
Gordon: Actually, I'm going to say second best performance. The inner geek in e
is going to give it to Pantatonix
Gordon: But those two are right up there
Chico: I've got them 1-2 on the other side. So don't feel TOO bad. Finally,
Vocal Point. with "Footloose". Straight No Chaser did a better version. That's
all I'm saying.
Gordon: I'm sorry, is Straight No Chaser competing?
Chico: No. I'm just saying it lacked ... soul.
Gordon: For me it lacked pitch
Chico: It was just lackluster, how about that?
Gordon: Ok. I liked the depth, just not the execution of said depth
Chico: Something was lost in translation. That's the long and the short of it.
Gordon: I'll go with that.
Chico: It didn't have punch, or pitch, or something.
Gordon: It was missing something.
Chico: Next week, we go into hip-hop. Good if you're Urban Method. Bad if you're
Vocal Point. Time to find your inner b-boy. And if you're Mikayla, you want to
find your inner Tom Brady if you want to be the one to knock Christine off of
her winning perch.
Chico: Speaking of hot, Christine Shields Meroski is on a hot streak. Will
Mikayla be the one to break it? I doubt it. Now you're probably asking, 'What
did Mikayla do to warrant a trip to Redemption Island'? Well, each tribe was
given a transforming wheelbarrow/slingshot and the task to collect coconuts to
shoot into a target. Mikayla is one of the tribesmen who has the game winning
shot in her hands... and BRICKS IT. So was Coach, but again, who's the player of
the two, I ask you? Coach immediately says "Let's vote Mikayla out."
Gordon: The problem here really is that Mikalya, when knowing she was on the
bubble a few episodes ago, did nothing to get into the top group and get rid of
Chico: No sir.
Gordon: The problem was that she campaigned against the wrong person. She needed
to grab Edna and make a counter to get rid of the loose cannon.
Chico: And she did nothing to get into the ins this week either.
Gordon: If you know you can't get into the 'In' group, you need to make a
counter-alliance and get rid of them. Mikalia failed to do this.
Chico: Instead, Coach grabs Edna and he has the numbers now to get rid of
Mikayla. Ironically, the swing vote between Edna and Mikayla... Rick. But you
have to think; he's in with Edna as well, so he's going to vote as she does -
and he does. So again, it's only surprising if you're not paying any attention.
Gordon: True. but you saw how Ozzy's group cut off Ozzy here to make him a weak
Chico: And then Ozzy cut himself off.
Gordon: Coach's group needs to do the same to Coach, because if not, I can see
Ozzy jumping ship and them forming a new group
Chico: Yeah, how long is his "free agent" status going to last?
Gordon: Unlike other seasons, this may not be a duck hunt. This could get
interesting come the merge.
Chico: Speaking of things getting interesting, this week on Jeopardy! had our
first co-champions... with $1,599 each. I call this number, "I Lost on
Gordon: I call this...
Chico: Tuesday show has Lanny Timan playing against Ray Crosby and Liz
Greenwood. Lanny has $1,6001. So she knows how to win, but she can only do as
best as tie in the Final. Let's get TO the final. The category: Foreign-Born
Inventors. The clue:
HIS 1922 NEW YORK TIMES OBITUARY MENTIONS THAT HIS PATENT NO. 174,465 "HAS
BEEN CALLED THE MOST VALUABLE PATENT EVER ISSUED".
Gordon: Who is Gabrielle Falloppio? <- The creator of the condom.
Chico: We do preach learning here. Even if the information you want is sprinkled
with a little T.M.I.
Gordon: Did you know that condoms were originally made from animal intestines?
Chico: Like that. And no, it doesn't surprise me.
Gordon: I believe the answer you want is Alexander Graham Bell?
Chico: Correct1 Okay, let's go to the scoreboard here. Lanny has $6800. Ray has
$6000... and Liz has $7600.
Gordon: If I'm Ray, I know Liz and Lanny have to cover themselves, and I have
enough to jump into first. What's my bet here?
Chico: You know Ray's going to go for it. It's the only move he can make.
Chico: He can also bet nothing and hope for a spoil
Gordon: Right. Ray has to play for the triple stumper. The right bet is $1,601.
If all 3 people get it wrong (or both ladies), he wins.
Chico: He bets and everything but $2...and misses.
Gordon: Ray costs himself the Jeopardy title.
Chico: Lanny and Liz play by the book and end up TYING.
Gordon: They do. Liz does what you have to and bets $6,001 to win by a buck..
Now Lanny also does what she needs to do. Her bet of $5,201 shuts out Ray if she
gets it right.
Chico: So the right bet was $5201.
Gordon: Yes. Lanny's bet was perfect.
Chico: Liz did what she had to do.
Gordon: It just so happens with $800 between 1st and 2nd, and $800 between 2nd
of 3rd, you have a very rare math dichotomy setting up the tie, when the same
amount of money is the gape between 1st / 2nd and 2nd / 3rd.
Chico: BUT if Ray bet nothing in preparation for this, he'd win.
Gordon: Right. And he should have won.
Chico: That didn't happen. But he did end up with more than what each player
would win, which is the $2000 for coming up just short. There is an easy way
around this, though... Get the answer right.
Gordon: Now let's go back a day to Monday.
Chico: Going back a day.
Gordon: I want to go back to Chico's favorite Jeopardy question ever.
Chico: Which would that be now?
Gordon: Lanny finds a Daily Double under College Knowledge, and gets this:
In 1924 North Carolina's Trinity College was endowed by a tobacco magnate &
changed its name to this.
Chico: OH YEAH! I know about North Carolina colleges. The tobacco magnate was
George Washington Duke.
Gordon: I hear you're going to take graduate courses there.
Chico: NO. If I did, it'd be just weird. But yeah... the Dukes of Durham.
Everyone's heard of them. So what does Lanny say?"
Gordon: I believe she said, "What is.... UNC?"
Chico: To which I said... Really? Even if you didn't go to college in Durham,
you had to know that Trinity College sounded like a private institution. And it
sure as hell wasn't Elon or Davidson. American Tobacco Campus, where is it?
DURHAM. What private college is in Durham? Dookie.
Gordon: I thought it was a layup, myself. It doesn't cost her the title, but I
thought it was cute.
Chico: This is a classic case of "Pooling your ignorance"
Gordon: And finally, who's up for a French number?
Chico: *does the Christmas Can-Can*
Chico: Hey, Santa do the can-can, help'em if you can-can, join in the
parade..."... and it works because Gordon's Jewish. Just listen to the song. :-)
Gordon: We see the beginning of a new (well not that new) show called Fort
Boyard. As I don't have the channel it's airing on, I'll give Chico the review.
Chico: Thanks G. Fort Boyard has been airing in England and France and other
countries for years. This is the first American version of the show to go to
series (actually, it's split between UK and US, as evidenced by the contestant
pool of both British and American kids). The season is a tournament among six
teams of four. The object is to get as much gold from Fort Boyard's Treasure
Chamber as possible. To get the keys to unlock the trove, you need to play and
win games that hearken back to the days of Think Fast and Double Dare, with a
little bit of Fear factor thrown in. It takes three keys to unlock the trove.
And if you have three keys, you get the full three minutes. If you're short, you
have a 20 second penalty for each key short. Players with the most gold at the
Gordon: So what did you like about it?
Chico: Good: they make the teams work for their gold. The puzzles are
challenging, the tasks are physically and mentally grueling, and each show has a
new surprise lurking around the bend. One of the challenges, I kid you not, was
finding a key in total darkness surrounded by rats.
Gordon: That's a Fear Factor style challenge right there
Chico: Yes it is. And then there's scaling the fortress walls outside and going
for a little swim. These people are not playing around. If you want to win,
you're going to have to earn it. So it's a very exciting watch from start to
Gordon: It sounds fun. Is there anything you didn't like?
Chico: The bad... but it's an averted justification bad... You have one guy
who's obviously there to collect a second paycheck from Disney, and another
chick who's there to be the eye candy.
Gordon: Well if it's a kid show, you need characters.
Chico: Granted, Geno Sayers and Laura Hamilton are good as a team, and Laura
actually has the experience to justify it, but if you've ever seen Geno on "Pair
of Kings", It's like the Rock ate James Earl Jones. I didn't know if he was
going to cheer the kids on or beat one of them into submission.
Gordon: Or both
Chico: But yeah, they are characters. Geno's your big brother. Laura's the hot
British chick everyone wants to get with but has no chance with. "Just friendly
enough to make me believe I actually have a chance with her" So all in all, it
is the game that, truth be told, gave birth to "The Crystal Maze", and you like
the Crystal Maze. I actually put this on my FB wall after watching this show,
"All I need is for the Crystal Maze to come to the US".... I got so much flak
Gordon: Grade time.
FORT BOYARD: ULTIMATE CHALLENGE
DisneyXD - 8:30p ET Weeknights
Chico: Let me explain something, a show has to
be something incredibly special for Gordon or myself to give it an A. I gave
it an A-, just because of the tournament formula. I didn't get it. But it's a
good show and it all comes together.
Gordon: Cool. The hamsters have put up a new challenge. Somewhere hidden in 20
cubic feet of hamster chips...is Chico's car keys. I'm thinking someone forgot
to feed them. Again.
Chico: I wish Jason was here.
Gordon: He's not. Too bad, so sad.
Chico: *puts on rubber glove* Gordon, can you handle this while I look for my
Gordon: I will. Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks Doug. First up, a couple of BIG BATS.
of all, if you don't know who Amy Introcaso-Davis is, you will soon enough.
She's the new head of programming at GSN.
Gordon: We'll see if she can surpass her predecessor.
Chico: She comes from Comcast's Bravo and E! shingles, where she was
responsible for such gems as "The World According to Paris" and "Kathy
Griffin: My Life on the D-List". So if you're watching GSN, and you have a
Y-chromosome... You're doomed.
Gordon: Well, from a business end, it makes sense. GSN's Target audience is
older females. However, if you're a guy...what Chico said.
Chico: Yes. Think about it. What kind of game show do older females watch? I
guarantee another "Love Triangle-ish" "It seemed like a good idea at the time"
show within the next year.
Gordon: I know what GSN WANTS to do. unfortunately, that doesn't equal what
they NEED to do. And what they NEED to do is to continue making waves in the
social / internet media and continue the convergence of such
Gordon: Instead of putting their money into reruns and...this.
Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader will rerun its hourlong eps starting
Chico: As for my SECOND bat.. It's yellow and black... and covered with cow
Gordon: I hear cow bile is a good attractor for Madagascar Hissing
If you are a fan of Fear Factor... Gordon... mark your calendars for
December 12. Fear Factor is back and grosser than ever.
Chico: I saw the teaser online... You're going to LOVE this. Imagine
everything you love about Fear Factor... times about 50.
Gordon: I saw it. I loved it.
Chico: Why can't GSN air reruns of THAT?
Gordon: Well, Chiller's got it.
Chico: AND the international versions. Well, the international Anglophone
Chico: As for something closer to this week, here's Gordon... with an Iron?
Gordon: And a chef's hat
Chico: Gordon, what's with the iron?
Gordon: We have one new show, but one that I'm eagerly approaching.
30th is the new season of The Next Iron Chef.
Chico: We have Food Network superchefs competing. Among them, THREE Chopped
regulars, two of which competed in KSA...
Gordon: Not to mention a Top Cheffer
Chico: This is when we see the best of the best. It's going to be hellacious.
Moving on, Hey Gordon!
Gordon: Hey Chico!
Chico: Do you like Money
Gordon: I do
Chico: Do you like breaks?
Gordon: I do
you need to take a Money Break at MoneyBreak.com It's a new online game show
where you could win $50 Visa gift cards or $1000.
Chico: It's free to play, and the faster you are the more you win. Three quick
questions and three search questions. Hosted by Steven Hill & Michelle Nunes,
MoneyBreak.com plays every weekday at 1p ET. Jason Block's already a winner.
Gordon: Jason's already a winner? That's not a surprise
Chico: Nope. He's a smart guy and he likes a challenge. Here's another smart guy
who likes a challenge... but failed to live up to it. *wheels in smartboard*
YOU Smarter than...Morgan Wilson, the Top Chef Contestant who gets busted for
alleged child pornography on his computer?
Chico: That's WAY beyond dumb.
Gordon: What about an after-dessert Haterade Cordial?
Chico: I'll take two.
Gordon: Ok then.
like the marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries is already in trouble, as
well as Roberto Martinez and Ali Fedotowsky.
Chico: To be fair, she says she's not in a hurry to start planning a wedding,
but if you're really serious about it, then you'd make the time for it.
Gordon: And then there's this tidbit...
As Adam Levine tweets to FOX, '"Dear Fox News, don't play our music on your
evil (BLEEP) channel ever again. Thank you."
Chico: And Fox News responds with their usual brand of sarcasm, made up crap,
and misinformation. Folks... it's a flame war. Not news. Move along. And if
Adam's so serious, then get the lawyers involved.
Gordon: I think they both need to get a room somewhere. Where are you going to
Chico: Let's go to Spain.
the newest country to have their own version of Family Game Night.
Chico: Pretty cool, actually.
Hopping the channel, ITV preps a pilot of Play Your Cards Right starring
Gordon's mortal enemy... Vernon Kay.
Gordon: He's not my mortal enemy. He's just Vernon.
Chico: Ah. My mistake. Hey Vern. Get off my TV and stay off, Vern.
Gordon: But I have other media hoes.
Chico: (plays "Pimpin All Over the World")
this week's Hodometer, Greg Fiztsimmons gets 'Pumped', Sam Poueu goes to
Physical Therapy, Derek Hough gets into a car accident (he's ok though)...Ben
Folds may be doing a reunion, Simon Cowell insists Steve Jones is staying on
X-Factor, Bob Barker and Marco Antonio Regil get Vegucated...Crystal Bowersox
leaves RCA / Jive to go indie, Lee DeWyze does also - but that's because he gets
dumped by his lebel, and Ashley Hebert says that she won't switch to being a Jew
if she gets married to JP.
Gordon: But thoes aren't your hoes of the week.
Chico: Plural. Lay it on us.
Gordon: They are Clay Aiken, Marco Andretti, Adam Carolla, Tia Carrera, Lou
Ferrigno, Debbie Gibson, Teresa Giudice, Victoria Gotti, Arsenio Hall, Penn
Jillette, Lisa Lampanelli, Dayana Mendoza, Aubrey O'Day, Paul Teutel, Cheryl
Tiegs, Dee Snyder, George Takei, and Patricia Velazquez
Chico: AKA the new class of the Celebrity Apprentice.
Gordon: That's correct, sir.
Chico: Which'll show up once football ends. Or maybe sooner. They still need to
plug a hole left by the Playboy Club.
Gordon: Scores. West 28th between 9th and 10th. I hear they have good chicken
fingers. And other body parts. And those...are your hoes
Chico: And that's Brainvision. *fobs*... Still to come, more music, I say! But
Gordon: First up, we audition for some singing roles. You're reading WLTi. you
give us 22 minutes, andss we'll give you 22 people not invited to our auditions.
Johnny Fairplay, you can get out and stay out.
Chico: And take that crazy ex-wife of yours with you.
(BrainVision is powered by the Family Game Knight... for when your games of
Monopoly, Sorry!, Ratuki, or Trouble need an enforcer, call on the only player
with a pair of dice and a pawn for a club)
HERE TO CONTINUE