Episode 28.13 - It Happened Last Friday
December 5

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and as you know, we try to keep in touch with the current events of the game show world.
Chico: *nods*
Gordon: However, sometimes, we miss a day. And that day sometimes trns out to be more potent then we originally thought.
Chico: *muffled* and this week it was Black Friday, hence the riot gear...Sorry. *removes helmet*...and this week it was Black Friday, hence the riot gear.
Gordon: Right. Chico and I were too busy defending ourselves against Pepper Spray, knives and angry rioters - and that was just from the crowd of shoppers.
Chico: Yeah, think about how we defended against a mob of bad betters, repeat offenders and Astro's entourage.
Gordon: So this week, we'll turn back the clock a bit, as from somewhere in a crowded video game store, this week's edition of WLTI...is..on!
Chico: I GOT A BAT, DAMN IT!
Gordon: Chillax.
Chico: ....I'll use it later. :-) Chico Alexander alongside my best mate Gordon Pepper. Got a lot of stuff to cover this week, so we'll start with this week's category... "It Happened Last Friday".
Gordon: We start this week off with some people who really didn't feel like making money on Jeopardy.



Chico: This time, it's James Ruchala, who had a big advantage on his third-place opponent and failed to use it.
Gordon: And he should have, because he didn't want to win any money. Or maybe he was content winning $2,000.
Chico: Gee. You think?
Gordon: Set up the stage please
Chico: Kendra Anspaugh, who would go on to win quite a bit herself, leads with $34,800. James has $17,600. Returning champion Ann thurlow has $1600.
Chico: ALMOST an afterthought. Now, it's not quite a runaway, so we have a bit of an opportunity. So, If I'm James, I do a bit of math in my head.
Gordon: If James doubles up, he goes to $35,200. So the correct (and only) bet to make here is $17,201. Sure, if gives 3rd a chance to move into second, but anything smaller than that and 1st wins automatically, because he's only going to bet around $400 and change
Chico: Yep. And just so we're not favoritist, Kendra ends up betting $500 and losing. She could've lost it, BUT, and here's a J-Lo-sized but, James bets... $400. Why would you only bet $400?
Gordon: ...I have no idea.
Chico: I don't either.
Gordon: Apparently either he really wants to secure second place and walk with the $2,000, or his brain went to the same place that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries went to when they decided to get hitched.
Chico: In any case, he gets Final Jeopardy! right, and had he done it right, let's see... $17,201 added to the $17,600...$34,801. He would've won it.
Gordon: Sure would have.
Chico: So congrats, James. You officially did it wrong.
Gordon: Do you risk $1,000 to win $33,800 more, Chico?
Chico: Of course you do. You gotta pour on the pressure. Force the leader to bet to win, then make her work at it. $400? In second place, when you're ahead by $15,000 and change? That's just ignant. And yes, that's the technical term.
Gordon: So whats the question that she got all flustered on?
Chico: I'm glad you asked. How much do you know about Modern American Novels?
Gordon: I'm not too shabby on it
Chico: Okay, the clue of great significance...

The title of this 1981 Pulitzer Prize winner comes from a Jonathan Swift line about how lesser minds unite to oppose genius. Cheap shot coming...

Gordon: It sure is. Or do I wish to be that predictable?
Chico: Hasn't hurt you before. Heh.
Gordon: ...Guess not. Who are the New York Mets front office?
Chico: *applause*
Gordon: The right answer is What is a Confederacy of Dunces?
Chico: Great book, that.
Gordon: It is.
Chico: Kendra would go on to win $62,000 give or take in her games. Now think back for a moment. This site that we currently write and edit would not have existed were it not for a little known cult favorite from 12 years back. A show we hold near and dear to our hearts and one of the better Millionaire knockoffs to come out of the Great Game Show Sweep of 2000. That of course being... Greed.
Chico: Brainchild of Bob Boden.
Gordon: It is a cult favorite over here
Chico: Fastforward 12 years, and we have someone else from last Friday. Guy by the name of David Juliano.
Gordon: Does he sound familiar? he should. He was on the same Super Greed team with Phyllis Harris and Lauren Griswold as they took the show for a combined 2 mil.
Chico: If memory serves, his share was $800,000.
Gordon: It does and it was.
Chico: He was a smartypants then and he's a smartypants now. His next challenge is nowhere near that, but still holy ground on game shows - a trip to Millionaire.
Gordon: Sure is
Chico: You probably want to see it.
Gordon: Would be nice. Or I could just fling random guesses at you. Potato. Spirit of 1776, Priscilla's Presley's nylons.
Chico: First, a bit of background... So far David has $33,000 in the bank. That's his to keep if he walks away because he passes round 1. The Next question...

What author's writing career might never have happened had he not escaped the cannibals who captured him in his early twenties?
A: Robert Louis Stevenson
B: Edgar Allan Poe
C: Herman Melville
D: Ernest Hemingway

Gordon: It's Hemmngway. He wrote about it in one of his books.
Chico: He did. And you're right. David said...A.
Gordon: So now David's going to be eaten by angry game show fans as he walks off with $1,000.
Chico: Yep. Bit of trivia. He was also on Win Ben Stein's Money.
Gordon: That would be David, not Ernest.
Chico: Yes. But I don't think David will be a contestant on a show with Simon Cowell on it. Which leads us to...



Chico: This week,... and I'm about to be as stone cold as Steve here...Another two dreams are gone down the crapper.
Gordon: (presents plunger to Chico)
Chico: Seriously, this is the pinnacle of your existence, and now that you've utterly failed in front of millions, you can go back to your quiet worlds and live the rest of your days doing something not much else remarkable.
Gordon: Neither of these, by the way, should be surprises
Chico: We have one person who was too weak at the outset. And another who just REALLY FELL OFF. And they both go by one name. They would be Drew... and Astro.
Gordon: Let's start with the obvious one, and that's Astro.
Chico: Yeah, we didn't even waste time on that one.
Gordon: When you alienate your fanbase, and disrespect your audience, it's only a mater of time before they turn on you.
Chico: And it took a bit, but ultimately and always, America got it right. That left the other two in the bottom three to SING FOR THEIR LIVES (TM). Drew chose "Listen to Your Heart"... which is indeed a warbler's song sung by a warbler. Marcus Canty (whose appearance in the bottom 3 I chalk to song choice) sung "Neither One Of Us (Wants to Be the First to Say Goodbye)" as made famous by Gladys Knight & the Pips. Marcus didn't win that showdown so much as Drew lost it.
Gordon: Well it was more like Simon lost it. He didn't listen to the judges, who said to stop making her a one genre pony. America agreed with the rest of them, and they responded by booting off his singer.
Chico: And after Simon lost it... he... well... lost it. And he may or may not realize it or even like it, but he put Drew in that position. She needed to be challenged. She wasn't. SO we're left to hear this from Drew...

“My 'save me' performance sucked. It was so bad. I forgot there was a key change involved so I started going all over the place. That's when I knew thatMarcus [Canty] deserves to make it [through] -- based off his save me song. It was not only hard to sing to save my life but it was hard to compete one-on-one with him.”

Chico: Well, to be honest, LA knows how to groom Marcus. And if I'm calling the final right now. One of LA's vs. one of Nicole's. Josh vs. Marcus. Mark it down.
Gordon: Um...no.
Chico: And Gordon says no.
Gordon: I have your winner as Josh. That I agree with. But he'll be going up against Simon's Caribbean accent second chancer Melanie Amaro.
Chico: Where DID that accent come from anyway? :-) Went from sounding like me to sounding like my mom. :-)
Gordon: I was thinking Rihanna, but sure.
Chico: Rihanna also sounds like my mom. Probably why I like her so much. "Yeah, Rihanna. She's hot, she's talented. She reminds me of my mom."
Gordon: Before this goes to a really bad place, let's switch focus to another huge blunder that's going to cost someone a lot of money.



Chico: Our long national nightmare is over.... Cochran's uppance has finally come.
Gordon: Well maybe to you. I actually liked his strategy - until he went completely the wrong way after the jump.
Chico: Apparently he's learned nothing from the mistakes of Rob Cesternino. He had a really good game going on, but he just couldn't keep it up for as long as you're supposed to.
Gordon: Let's just say you're Benedict Chico.
Chico: Whatever.
Gordon: Alright Benedict. You've had a huge portion of Kentucky Fried Tarheel Traitor Tots today and you decide to switch tribes.
Chico: Don't remind me about Saturday's game, by all means. Go on.
Gordon: Oh come on. That was a fun game. :)
Chico: It was a fun game. Roy should've called a time out. Okay, now I'm done. Go on.
Gordon: Made more fun by the fact UNC lost.
Chico: CONTINUE.
Gordon: Fine. Anyhoo, what is the first thing you do once you get to the other tribe?
Chico: Look for a swinger and try to pull them into your alliance. Look for the crack.
Gordon: Very good, sir. Look for the seam that divides the tribe in half and pick the seam with the underdogs in it.
Chico: Just go there and say, look, you're on the outs. Play with us and you're going to go far. That's the only play that makes sense.
Gordon: Right. Vecepia and Chris did this to win their season.
Chico: Chris was REALLY good at it. He knew you can either tear someone's head off OR you can come with your whole heart. He came with his heart and that rode him to the win.
Gordon: Right. So Cochran should have found Edna, Rick and Albert and said 'hey, we can ride to the final 4', beause they are obviously in the outer group. More over, you can even hear that in tribal council
Chico: This is our time and all that?
Gordon: Right. instead, he spens his time playing Coach Chi with the ONE person he SHOUDLN'T have been spending time with.
Chico: The inventor of Coach chi.
Gordon: Which is the person who if he gets to the finals, wins.
Chico: Dragonslayer. Hwa.
Gordon: And barring a massive blunder, he'll get there.
Chico: Edna, Rick, and Albert... STILL IN THE GAME. What does THAT tell you?
Gordon: That tells me that Rick, Edna and Brandon have no clue they are about to be going on this...



Chico: Yeah, we'll see.
Gordon: They're even worse off now, because now they have no stragglers to align with. The only one out of that group who's safe is Albert, because Coach needs him to dispatch of the returning Ozzie. This is clearly coach's game to lose.
Chico: Ozzy has the physical edge. Always did. Look at the Ninja Warrior tape.
Gordon: For Cochran to have any chance, Cochran needs to see Sugar's elephant from Gabon charge in and mistake Ozzy for a peanut tree and start shucking him.
Chico: Speaking of really bad places! Let's go to a really good one... Ever been to Panama?
Gordon: Can't say I have. I hear you have experiences there, though
Chico: Well, that's where my family's from after all. Me, the last time I was there was a cruise to see my grandmother's grave, but it's in Panama where someone ELSE is going to be buried... and you're not going to believe who. EVEN MORE THAN THAT, you're not going to believe how.



Chico: The four teams remaining were heading toward Panama Vieja. That's the old part of the city. The clue stated that the location of the next Pit Stop here was written on the pollera dress and jewelry of a tamborito dancer. It was written on the clothing: "Panama Viejo". Now... it looked for a moment like the snowboarders Tommy & Andy were headed for the final. BUT, and this is where I watch and I'm just "Wow", the other three team's cabbies were conferencing each other basically, and they all headed to the Pit Stop, leaving the snowboarders no chance to catch up. So those three teams are now your FINAL teams. David beats Goliath. That's about as good as I can explain it.
Gordon: A confederation of Taxi dunces?
Chico: *applause* That's about the size of it. So now the Race is blown WIDE OPEN. Jeremy & Sandy have the advantage coming back to America, Ernie & Cindy are close behind... then there's the perennially directions-challenge Amani & Marcus Pollard.
Gordon: It is any team's game.
Chico: Someone who has already won a million...plus... Brad Rutter. He's another repeat offender. But here's the thing. He's not being tested on what he knows, but how he thinks. That's the season finale of Million Dollar Mind Game, hands down the best game show of 2011. He's part of a team of pub quizzers which includes ANOTHER J! champ - Alan Bailey.
Gordon: It was a fun episode The group has little trouble, only making one mistake (you can make 3 without penalty) before going to the final question.
Chico: I have it in my hand right here. This was for $600,000.

Like you, these professionals can work as a team. They mostly work nights, although only one of them gets to work at home. In 1956, two of them were allowed to start wearing glasses-- not a moment too soon, according to some critics. Who are these professionals?

Gordon: Those would be baseball umpires.
Chico: No fooling you.
Gordon: nopers
Chico: And no fooling the team. they get the answer and the cash. And we're left to wonder the ultimate fate of a show we've really grown to love here.
Gordon: We have but I dont know if the budget of a show will allow it to be Sunday filler.
Chico: Come on, ABC. You renewed Dating in the mothereffing Dark. Granted, that was produced for much less. And there was much less expectation.
Gordon: Put it in the Summer during Prime Time. Or heck, put on a marathon on the Winter during Xmas season.
Chico: I think that might just end up happening. Depends on whether NBC can get a hit out of "Who's Still Standing". Meanwhile, I have a question for you. It was written by the hams, which explains the cheese stains and hair.
Gordon: Lets hear it.

It's one of the only things in the world where, according to some people, none of it is good AND one of the only things that can be flashed in public by an anchor weighing in.

Chico: ... Cheeseball... you're no Aaron Solomon, my friend.
Gordon: Well, it could be one of 2 things. It could be the BrainVision news.
Chico: or...
Gordon: Or it could be a topless Ralphie May in a mermaid outfit by the bow of a cruise line.
Chico: Just do... the... uh... thing... while I gouge my mind's eye out.
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up.... Hey, a Datebook!
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: And it's all festive like.
Gordon: Who wants noisemakers?

Nota... Committed... and now Pentatonix. Imagine all three on stage together. That happens Monday with the "Sing-Off" Christmas show. And this week we'll also get winners in The Amazing Race and Top Model

Chico: We're going to warm your heart and lighten your holiday, and then a week later, we're going to take you to a dark and desolate place that you BEGGED FOR.
Gordon: ...I never begged to go into the UNC trophy case room.
Chico: Well, there was that one time when you said you really had to...
Gordon: Just think of it as extra sparkling celebratory champagne from the last time you guys celebrated a title.
Chico: ... EW?! Anyway...I got a greenlight with a fashionable clock attached for you, sir.
Gordon: tick tock

We have a date for "24 Hour Catwalk", from the producers of "24 Hour Restaurant Battle", January 10 on Lifetime.

Chico: This is the sort of review that writes itself. 24 Hour Restaurant Battle + Project Runway =...
Gordon: 24 hour all night xeroxing.
Chico: That's a lot of toner.
Gordon: More toner than needed. Also have more morons than needed.
Chico: Don't you always?

Are YOU Smarter than...James Ruchala, who I'm only hoping bet $400 because he added wrong and thought the game was a runaway. (Scratches head)

Chico: He's a stupid McDumbDumb.
Gordon: He's smart to get to the point he got to, but the lapse got him.
Chico: You gotta play 30 minutes of game.
Gordon: Sure do. So for Haterade, I'm giving out a small serving of Crow.
Chico: Really?
Gordon: The crow isn't for me.
Chico: Oh?

It's for Astro, who in his media interview rght after he gets booted, discusses how ignorant he was about the whole process and how he has to learn.

Chico: Well, he wanted to be like Kanye. Short, a big mouth, and now culturally irrelevant. I'd call that mission accomplished.
Gordon: Well you know what. Before we hammer him too hard, I think that if he learns and grows from this, he could be something. He does have talent and a personality, something most of these acts don't have.
Chico: True on all accounts.
Gordon: I think he does have a future. Seriously.
Chico: Anyway, let's get loaded...AND go around the world.

The Bank Job is premiering on ITV in January, but they're using the online game that launches this weekend ot vet for contestants. It's a simple game... Answer questions and win money... then get out before the door closes.

Chico: Kinda reminds me of the aborted pilot/board game Top Secret, now that I think about it. Which reminds me... Wink Martindale's birthday is this weekend. He turns 78... and he's earned his fame. These people... well, some of them not so much. (Plays Luda)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Lacey Schwimmer has a new pair of...yeah..., Bob Eubanks goes to Fan Fest for NASCAR, and Regis Philbin may be tapped to host another game show, but it's sort of hush hush right now.

Gordon: ...but none of them are the hoes of the week.
Chico: Who've you got?
Gordon: I have Brandon and Rachel. Again.
Chico: AGAIN?!
Gordon: Again. Because this time, they are coming back to your tv set in the form of Amazing Racers.
Chico: After the class acts of Jenna & Ethan and Justin & Jennifer... and Amani & Marcus... and Jeremy & Sandy.... and Ernie & Cindy, we arrive... at the most annoying Big Brother couple EVER. EVER!!!
Gordon: ...worse than Allison and Donny?
Chico: Ahem... let me repeat myself...EVER!!!!!
Gordon: Note to self: Get Chico Amazing Race DVD Season 20 for next X-Mas.
Chico: I predict a quick flameout, and no one will care.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Brobot, please..

(Brobot: Shutting Down. Beep beep beep.)

Chico: Still to come, Gordon and I put on our black turtle necks and d-bag berets for a new game, but first... what should and will happen... in the world of the show of games.
Gordon: You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 uses for Balboa coins. Like throwing them in the ocean. Using them for clues? Not one of them.
Chico: No.

(Brainvision is powered by Rachel Reilly's Funbags, now in an approved flotation device form. It makes a great gift! Putting the F-U back in "Funbags")

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