Episode 22.8
November 2

Chico: Gross. Welcome back. This is WLTI. Every week Gordon and I try to make you the smartest person in the room. You're welcome, America.
Gordon: We do. And now I'm going to try to make Chico smarter than he usually is. It's time for Number Please. I give him numbers. He gives me meaning to them.
Chico: Alrighty.
Gordon: We start with...

5.

Chico: Number of wins it takes to pick up a car in the Feud.
Gordon: That's true, but not what I'm looking for. 5 is the number of people left on Project Runway.
Chico: Ah. Nice. We are getting close to the finale this month, aren't we?
Gordon: We are. What's your thoughts on this season? Is it the best season of the series?
Chico: It's not the best of the series, that would be the last season, but it's been the most interesting, especially given everything leading up to it.
Gordon: The characters, from a presentational point, have been fascinating, but I agree. The talent is just middle of the road for me.
Chico: There you go.
Gordon: Next number...

7

Chico: Number of dancers left on Dancing? I'm probably wrong, but...
Gordon: No you're not wrong on the number of dancers. But yes, you're wrong. It's the number of wins that Team Rashad has over Team Quentin on The Ultimate Fighter.
Chico: And how long has the show been on this season? I'm guessing seven weeks.
Gordon: Yes. Now it's all down to Marcus Jones. If he loses the fight, them Rampage has no more fighters left in the competition
Chico: So this week... one to watch. And if you're a fan of Rampage... send good vibes.
Gordon: That would be the first time in the history of the show that you have a total wipeout. Next one...

7

Chico: Number of chefs starting Top Chef this week. That is, before elimination.
Gordon: You have a theme going on here in your selections.
Chico: I'm pleading ignorance here. Just help me.
Gordon: It's the number of Game Show Congresses that will be held once November 14th rolls around.
Chico: Have you registered yet? If not, go to gameshowcongress.net and do so. We'll wait.
Gordon: It's an awesome event.
Chico: ... I have to work that weekend. So sad. Oh, you're back! Well... uh.. next number?
Gordon: Next number

1,500

Chico: I'm guessing a zonk is involved.
Gordon: Not a Zonk, but unemployment is.
Chico: So it's a KIND of Zonk.
Gordon: 1,500 people showed up at a Family Feud audition search. Thats a lot of people.
Chico: Wow. That's... 300 families.
Gordon: And expect many more as they continue the searches.
Chico: You know, game show auditions are up nowadays as people are looking for a quick win.
Gordon: $30,000 does a lot to ease financial burdens
Chico: And a new car to boot? Awwww yeah
Gordon: and a new car after 5 episodes. That would be, if you ran the table, over $160,000 in cash and goodies.
Chico: That's over $170,000. Perhaps closer to $175,000.
Gordon: You don't know the price of the car, so around $170,000.
Chico: Actually, I know the price of the car. It's over $37,000, so you're looking at well over $180,000 in swag if you do it right.
Gordon: Next number...

83

Chico: The age of the late great Soupy Sales who died last week. See, I got that one.
Gordon: Yes you did. Soupy Sales, who was a good friend of my father's and my family, will be missed. He was a great talent.
Chico: Yep. You're looking at him on shows like Chain Reaction, What's My Line, Body Language was classic.

(silence)

Gordon: Last one...

7,000

Chico: Thursday's TPIR episode.
Gordon: Yes!
Chico: It's going to be a special occasion. We're going to have the first three games EVER played... And if the 5,000th and 6,000th shows are any indication, expect something special. Although for Drew, it'll be more like his 415th episode. But that's just splitting hairs.
Gordon: Any shot of seeing Bullseye 1?
Chico: No.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: I know you like watching people suffer, but... no.
Gordon: But that's it with numbers. next up, a different sort of number in a special presentation we're doing. You'll see what that is after this!

(Brought to you by Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader Celebrity? NASCAR drivers! WWE wrestlers! Cheerleaders! Muppets! Will ANY of these guys crack the $250,000 code? Find out this month!)

Chico: Muppets, Gordon!
Gordon: I sense we may be seeing a certain friend of GSNN during Muppets week. So if you're a fan of GSNN and Lingo Contestants, check out Muppets week.
Chico: That's gonna be cool. Alright. As you know, a new decade is coming up...
Gordon: it is. So is our new special presentation we have as we enter the year 2010. Tell us about it, Chico.
Chico: Not only of our existence as a site, by the way, we thank you... for 10 GSNN years... but a new decade... the new teens as it were. So before we enter the new teens, we're going to give you a special series of games we call "Ten Years in Two Months." This week, we're playing Roleplay: 2000. Gordon, do you have your masks ready?
Gordon: I do. You ready?
Chico: I'm ready. First up...

You are Maury Povich, host of NBC's Twenty-One. Of the Millionaire also-rans, this was the most successful, but one of the first to go. Do you think that, in another time or place, this would've worked?

Gordon: Yes I do. but do you know what was missing?
Chico: What was missing?
Gordon: The paternity tests. This show, Winning Lines, Greed, It's Your Chance of a Lifetime. None of those shows had Paternity tests. You should have been able to predict if she was or wasn't the father for a million. That would have been GOLD, I tell you, GOLD!
Chico: GOLD?
Gordon: GOLD!
Chico: Those things got old QUICKLY! Granted, they're entertaining! But they're one of five go-to topics now!
Gordon: Nonsense. I've been on the air for over a decade and the paternity tests go on strong. You love to watch.
Chico: I didn't deny it!
Gordon: You've been in my studio and you pined for a Paternity Test show instead of abusing husbands.
Chico: You hear me denying this? I am NOT denying this. In fact... little known fact... 5th Grader was running in Maury's spot in the RDU area when it first premiered. Within three weeks, Maury was back on in that spot.
Gordon: There you go. Kids in the womb are more entertaining than kids in the classroom.
Chico: There you go. Next?
Gordon: Next. Chico you are...Kenny Mayne.
Chico: I am the great and glorious Kenny Mayne.

On September 11, 2000, a sports game show called 2 Minute Drill premiered. Is it the best sports game show ever?

Chico: Quite possibly it's the best quiz show to come out of the 2000s. If not ever. And I'm willing to stake my absence of a game show career on it. You had the pressure of Millionaire... a panel that knew its stuff, contestants you wanted to cheer for. I think this should've lasted a lot longer, but that was for ESPN to decide, not me.
Gordon: I...agree. From a sports trivia standpoint, and with the bulk of knowledge being fired at you, this is the best sports quizzer ever.
Chico: EVER. Yes, even better than Ultimate Fan League. And that's saying something.
Gordon: I think the problem was that it was too cerebral for the mainstream sports viewers, but who cares? This was a great show.
Chico: Yes it was, and it's responsible for my career as an on-and-off foundation wearing dance reporter nowadays. Bring forth the finest meats and cheeses in all the land, I say.
Gordon: I'm not touching that one.
Chico: You know you enjoy my reports.
Gordon: Reporting? Yes. Dance? No. You dance as well as Jason Block sings.
Chico: Ha. And Jason, if you're reading. we love you. really. Next... Gordon, you are ... Eddie McGee.

As far as Big Brother is concerned, you're "the forgotten hero." Do you think season 1 just came about too soon, especially given everything that came about in the 10 years since you've won?

Gordon: You know, you can all have your fame. I didn't have to scheme and plot. I just had to be nice and milk my disability for all it's worth. I was never in any danger in the series, and that's what being a nice guy gets you. Tell me what being a nice guy in Big Brother gets you now.
Chico: Nothing, but as far as the format... where the public determined who stays and who goes... you were a pioneer... It wasn't until a show that we'll go over in a couple of weeks when that became the go-to. Now you guys are an afterthought.
Gordon: It doesn't matter to me. Survivor nothing. We didn't get to hang out in an island. Instead we got to see our sexual escapades taped and we had to deal with trash. Stinky.
Chico: Stinky indeed.
Gordon: Next one... Chico, you are... Richard Hatch
Chico: I am Richard Hatch. I may want to wear pants. I hope that's okay.

You won a million dollars (most of which is going to court fees and IRS back taxes, but I digress). When are we going to see you in another game show?

Chico: Probably when this whole thing blows over. So as long as you guys exist... Oh... never?
Gordon: Come on. Boston Rob did it. Allison did it. Who wouldn't want to see you on TV again?
Chico: Oh... Everyone. Come on... Fat naked ex-con. Who will talk to anyone so long as a camera's on me... Who'd go for that?
Gordon: Lets see. You were on The Weakest Link, Battle of the Network Reality Stars and Dog Eat Dog. I would figure it's only a matter of time. Dancing Naked With The Stars cant be too far behind. You have Joanna Krupa's contact info?
Chico: ... You know, Gordon, I'm glad you asked that... *reaches into back pocket*
Gordon: Ummm... you're not wearing any pants. Where's theat back pocket from?
Chico: ...
Gordon: Ok. this is getting creepy. Next one?
Chico: Next... You are Joe Trela.
Gordon: Moths! Final Answer!

On the March 23 edition of WWTBAM, you ran the table and won the million... You were the youngest to do so until 2007 when Jamie Sadler won a mill on Power of 10. Any pointers you want to give him?

Gordon: Ditch the girlfriend, buddy.
Chico: And any GOOD pointers?
Gordon: Get some representation and some good lawyers. People who you havent seen in a while are going to come out of the qwoodwork and try to be your bestest of pals. You should know better. A million is a lot of money. make sure you save it wisely.
Chico: Nice. THEN you ditch the girlfriend.
Gordon: Right. Last one. Chico...you are...BioHazard
Chico: Nice. I'm a robot.

You are one of the most award winning robots on BattleBots, a favorite around here in the GSNN offices. What methods of destruction will you have in store for the bad game shows that are unfortunate enough to appear in 2010?

Chico: One word. Rotary saw. Wait... TWO words... Rotary saw. Follow that up with a little pneumatic wedge action... You're good to go
Gordon: I heard you want to show the ladies your pneumatic wedge.
Chico: Ow.
Gordon: We'll wrap this episode up next after this!

(Brought to you by Double Dare 2010... No, not the show with the obstacle course, the show with the isolation booths. Come on... if there was ever a show from the 70s you wanted to see return, this would be it. Admit it.)

Gordon: Only if there's a peep booth with the windows closing after a minute.
Chico: Not in front of the kids, man!
Gordon: You. No. Fun.
Chico: I know what else is fun.
Gordon: A Speed Round?
Chico: You know I got one! Let's start it... NOW! Dancing... Is it safe to say that if Michael Irvin isn't eliminated this week, he'll NEVER be eliminated?
Gordon: No. He will be eliminated eventually. And I think it happens sooner than later. Possibly this week. Survivor: Merge yet?
Chico: Merge soon
Gordon: Who leaves before merge?
Chico: I'm guessing either Shambo or Russell, depending on how the challenge falls.
Gordon: I think they are both safe. Monica has problems.
Chico: We'll see. How about mail. Do we see any of that?
Gordon: Not from me. From you?
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: but YOU Can change that!
Chico: You CAN change that by dropping us a line at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com or... "Find us on Facebook". Next week, we're going to 2001. Until then, for Gordon and everyone at Game Show Newsnet, I'm Chico Alexander. Game over... and spread the love.