Episode
3.5 - Excuse Wii
July 1
It's the first of
July...and the first Wipeout of July! And while our
neighbors to the north are shooting off fireworks, 24
Americans are looking to get shot out of the world's
most dangerous obstacle course for $50,000.
First, though... Here's Johnny Henson on
the Wipeout Course... on the Wii. "Wipeout" for Wii, in stores now. Buy.
THE WIPEOUT QUALIFIER
Tonight, the Qualifier consists of...
- The Topple Towers: back and more
toppley than ever!
- The Sucker Punch: one wall, multiple punching gloves, a world of hurt.
- The Big Balls: Hydraulic Motivator set to kick you around. Consider
yourself lucky.
- The Biker Bars: Trampoline sweepers with little bikes on them.
- The Fling Set: Watch the arms as you make your way to the exit.
First up... for REAL... Winnie Joe.
She's... a biologist. She LOVES science. A lot. Seriously. She looks
like she forgot one thing... Gravity. It's the law, my friend. The Mad
Scientist is worried about getting dissected by the course. At the Biker
Bars... couldn't even get past the bouncer. Nerd. She and her
mitochondria gets a time of 5:49.9.
Ashley Coleman loves the mall so much,
she got a job there, but this chick got fil'a'ed quickly. The Mallrat
looks like she's loitering, so... MOTIVATE! Next is Aben Vincent and his
colorful bike hat stuck in the 80s. He falls into the Fling Set.
Michelle Marshall looks like she's at home at the Biker Bars. She's a
motocross racer. Biker Babe gives it a little gas... and chokes. Her
time: 4:20.
Next up, Tina Turner! No, it's Gary
Shields. Proud Mary kept on burning at the Topple Towers. Next... horror
flick fan Brian Buckley. He... is dead in the water. And... he's decided
to quit. Too scary for ya?
John Rogers is big, fast, and far from
last. He's going to use the money for his granddaughter. He also wants
to open a flower shop, but he gets picked easily. Next is Shawn Hughes
with a reflective vest that helps his through the course. He's
apparently into safety.
GAME BREAK! John Anderson takes on the
Wii course.
Meanwhile, Chelsea Robbins migrates like
the birds she loves through the first set of Topple Towers, but gets
clipped on the second. Bird Nerd goes flying on the Fling Set on neither
a wing nor a prayer, but a time of 3:54 is very impressive.
Saving the best for last... the 1000th
WIPEOUT CONTESTANT... Quan Pham! He says he'll date anything. Quan, meet
water! Apparently the Sucker Punch has a problem with that... he doesn't
on that OR the Big Balls. Biker Bars whip him into shape. Denied by the
Fling Set, but he has a second date with a time of 4:00 flat.
ADVANCING TO ROUND 2
Quan "1000" Pham
Ashley "Mallrat" Coleman
Jill "Mii #1" Sutherlin
Aben "Funky Fresh" Vincent
Michelle "Biker Babe" Marshall
Pam "Mii #2" Douglas
Gary "Tina Turner" Shields
John "Flower Power Gramps" Rogers
Rita "Mii #3" Strubbe
Shawn "Safety First" Hughes
Anthony "Mii #4" Williams
Chelsea "Bird Nerd" Robbins
THE OVERDRIVE
It's a giant steering wheel with sweepers
and windshield wipers. Contestants start on the green pad, maneuvering
through the sweepers onto the red pad, then landing on the red platform
via one of three obstacles. If they get knocked off, they go to the
start and try again. The first six will move on.
Aben's in the hizzy... and he gets
foamed.....Next up is Shawn... Aben gets out of the middle... BUT off he
goes. Tina gets beat with her Ike bars, while Bird Nerd is in the
Overdrive, Flower Power gets on the course, but gets boutonniered. Still
no one on the other side...
... and Shawn is the first to move on!
Meanwhile, John... is pushing daisies. And Aben has a round thing in his
face, and he gets sprung... in the next round. Joining him... Mallrat
Ashley! And Mr. 1000 joins the threesome! Tina Turner ... what's the
green ball got to do with it? John is #5, and one more spot left. And it
looks like it's going to be... Tina Turner!
ADVANCING TO ROUND 3
Quan "1000" Pham
Ashley "Mallrat" Coleman
Aben "Funky Fresh" Vincent
Gary "Tina Turner" Shields
John "Flower Power Gramps" Rogers
Shawn "Safety First" Hughes
MEDIEVAL WIPE-A-LOT
Four stages on this course...
- The Rack
- The Drawbridges
- The Rug Pull
- The Wicket Step-spires
All the while, they'll have to dodge a
ring of armor, a mace, a joust, and a few well-put court knights and
ladies. Four fastest are Zone Bound.
Gary: 11:11.25
John: 4:56.41
Shawn: 5:13.35
Ashley: 9:14.17
Aben: 2:16.99 - CLINCHED!
So Gary is relegated to backup singer
status, leaving Ashley on the bubble. How will Quan do?
Quan: 6:07.88
ADVANCING TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE
Quan "1000" Pham
Aben "Funky Fresh" Vincent
John "Flower Power Gramps" Rogers
Shawn "Safety First" Hughes
THE WIPEOUT ZONE
Time to get serious...
Rebuilt from the ground up is the world's
most dangerous obstacle course... the Wipeout Zone! Tonight...
- The Catapult
- The Spin Cycle: A vertical foam filled drum that they'll have to
navigate to get to...
- The Triple Threat: Two big sweepers... then one small one... lather,
rinse, repeat.
- The Rib Rage: run as far as you can as fast as you can to get to ...
- The Gauntlet: spiked whackers and arms & dangerous separate one
person
from $5,000. Fastest wins.
First up, #1000, "I'll Date Any-Quan"
Pham, who thinks he has what it takes to take his relationship to the
next level. It all starts... with an impressive launch into the Wipeout
Zone. And a celebratory confetti cannon for #1000... Easy step out of
the Spin Cycle. Makes the Triple Threat look EASY. Fantastic time going
into the Gauntlet. Missteps after the Spiked Whackers. Third try... and
shot by the Arms & Dangerous. Fourth try... and DONE. Clocks in at
10:41.
Next up is Safety First, Shawn Hughes.
"This does not seem safe." Don't worry, it isn't. Takes his time on the
Spin Cycle, no problem there. He needs to make up a minute on the
Gauntlet. Shawn's got the pattern down... with a time of 7:24, he takes
over the lead!
Loaded up into the Catapult next is John
Rogers. He gets a senior citizen's discount on that obstacle. He's going
the top way to the Spin Cycle... and belly flops his way to the next
obstacle. John gets another chance at the Triple Threat... On pace in
the Gauntlet phase, but he's winded... but the Arms & Dangerous pluck
him out of the competition. TIME OUT.
Finally, we have Aben Vincent, who'll try
to boogie, pop-and-lock, and do all sorts of hip moves on the Wipeout
Zone. Tons of air on the approach. Aben takes a ride... and slips back
down. Trying again.... got it. Perfectly timed. Perfect through the
Triple Threat. Four minutes to take on the Gauntlet. Only the Arms &
Dangerous left... Misstep means he goes back to the start. He skirts
then second time! ABEN VINCENT WITH THE TIME OF 5:49 AND THE CASH MONEY
TO GO WITH IT!
Next week, it's back to Couples Wipeout.
Until then... good night... and Big Balls.
To view this episode in its entirety or to apply to be a contestant on
"Wipeout", go to abc.com/wipeout
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