Episode 9 - March 14

It's Pi Day. What this has to do with the King of Vegas is simple: you have to know the math. The final prize would be a lovely addition problem: $1,000,000. And only one of the final four will be able to be the prime gambler.

Last week, Baccarrat dealer and lucky mistress Katie Porrello finally had to hit the showers after being sent off by David Williams. That means it's Men's Night Out hereonin. We'll use the same scoring system as last week (leader after 3 sits pretty) and use the same 1st game, too: blackjack. Tonight's odds are:

David Williams 2:1
Alan Borman 4:1
Hollywood Dave Stann 6:1
Jerry Goldberg 8:1

Before we start, Stann wamboozles Alan with a loaded question (him or Jerry: who's out)

Stann has 8, 16, 26. David has 7, 9, 19. Jerry's 10 is doubled to become a 12. Alan's hand is a little more complicated. He has 6's and splits. His 1st hand is the 6 and ANOTHER 6! He splits again to get 9, then 19. The second six become 16, then 26. The final six becomes 11! He doubles down to 18. Dealer had a 9. It's now 19. No one does that well.

New hand. David bets $2,000. Stann starts with 20. David has 7, 11, 21! Jerry has 11 he doubles again to 18. Alan has 12, then 22. Dealer showed 8 then 18. That's better.

As we check the totes: David is on top with 12,000. Stann is $400 back. Jerry has 9800, and Alan's bringing up the rear at 7400.

This round, Alan bets 5 grand. Dealer shows a 9

Alan has 19 and stands. Stann has 12, then 21! David has 8, soft 19, 21! Jerry has 15, 17.

In the meantime, Alan's in deep doggie doo. He got 19, but a dealer Ace, 2 or 10 won't help him all that much. This looks like a job for the Crunch Cam: it's a 7. The dealer has 16, what will that mean? We have a commercial to ponder it over. Dealer draws a 5 for 21. Ouchies.

We recheck the totes to see that David and Hollywood remain unchanged. Jerry only lost $200, and Alan....well, yeah. Not good.

This round Jerry bets 4,000. Alan's 2400 all in. Stann got 17. David has 16, 26. He's out 600. Jerry has 14, 16. Alan has 18. The dealer has 9 and flips 19. Alan is bankrupt and Hollywood yanks the imaginary horseshoe out of Borman's backside.

Totes again: Dave and Dave are now tied with 11,400. Jerry's loss pputs him at $5600 and Alan's on the bench.

Another hand: Jerry sends out another 2000. It pays off with a Blackjack!

David has soft 15, then 14, then 21! Hollywood has 12, 19. Dealer showed a Queen, makes 16, 19. No money lost, but Stann's in trouble.

As the last hand approaches, David's $100 bet gives him that much of a margin. Stann holds pat at 11,400 and Jerry's now a live threat at 8600.

Jerry bets $4000. Hollywood's in for 4200. David unsurprisingly matches it. Jerry has 20. He stays, but Stann said he shoulda split. Hollywood has 5, 10, 19. David has 20. Dealer has 3 to 13, 23!

Had Jerry split, he would've had 15 and 19. Stann would've had 15, and who knows what the dealer would've had (no rabbit cam here), but Jerry more than likely would've made $8000 and taken the lead.

At the end of Game 1, David Williams leads with $15,700. Dave Stann is at his heels with $15,600. Jerry Goldberg is still in the hunt with $12,600, and Alan has some work to do. It's neck and neck after the first round, which segues us perfectly into round 2, in which Frank Nicotero would call Pick Your Pony. Yup, it's Horse Racing and everybody gets 10,000 in hay to waste. Tonight's race: Laurel Park #4 (Baltimore, MD). Let's see who they like:

Jerry: #2 So Synful (4)*
David: #3 Gussie's Secret (9-5)^
Stann: #6 What A Sensation (8)
Alan: #7 Caroline's Candy (7)

*-Jerry also has money on 3
^-David also has money on 7

The Laurel Park announcer notes KoV is watching as they set up the horsies. Ain't that nice? AND THEY'RE OFF! 2 gets the hole shot, followed by 1 and 6. At the back stretch, 6 starts to fade and is passed by 3 and 4. 1's out of the picture, too. AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME! 3 takes second and then the lead! But 2 won't give up without a fight. And at the line, 2 wins by a head! Followed by 3 and 4. That means after two rounds, the score looks like this.

Jerry: $32,600
David: $29,200
Hollywood: $15,600 (again)
Alan: $0 (again)

We will dish out another $40,000 in funds for our final game, Pai Gow Poker and let's just hope I have fast enough fingers to cover this. Don't forget about the jokers and bank button.

Alan has 2's+5s; Hollywood has a King+Aces. David has K's+3 Queens! Jerry has a J+K. Dealer shows... 8's and Aces! David makes money.

Hollywood has the option this round and he wants to bank. He's also tired of that cane Jerry swings around and parks it on the Poker table. Jerry's sweater comes off (stylish collared shirt underneath) and Stann gets a hug from the bar girl.

As for the hands, Jerry: Ace and Jacks; David: 9 and a 6-high straight! (guaranteed push); Alan: Queen and 3's; Dealer Dave: Ace and trip Kings! Alan and Jerry go down.

Final Hand: Jerry still has the lead with $40,600. David's only $400 back. Stann may be a threat at $27,300. Alan, not so much at 6,000.

Stann bets 14K; David bets 3000. Alan has a Jack and Aces. Stann has Queens and a Jack high straight! David........KINGS and a QUEEN high straight! Whoa!

It's academic, but the Dealer has King and 4's. David Williams is in the finale with a winning score of over $43,000!

It feels weird, but there's only 3 in the Death Match. That means any mistake is amplified that much more.

Stann has J-5 and wants in. Jerry has K-6 and wants in. Alan has pocket fives and wants more. Stann now wants out. Jerry calls. Flop: K-Q-9 Alan bets 500; Jerry raises to 2500, and that's good enough for the pot.

Jerry has 5-3 and is out. Alan got Big Slick and raises. Stan has 2...King (hearts) fold.

Alan has K-8 and calls. Hollywood has 5-7 and does the same. Big Slick for Jerry and he raises. Everyone calls. Flop: K-5-3, all spades Stann has a spade but checks; Jerry bets 1000; Alan calls, but Stann wants out.

Turn: 4 of clubs. Jerry bets 2500. Alan raises all in. Jerry calls. River.....10. Jerry's doubled his stack, and that ends the round. Hollywood's pissed that he's in the hole without playing the hand and holds a sit-down protest on the couch.

Sudden Death time! Hollywood Dave vs. Alan Borman. The third wheel to this nuthouse (Jerry) got the Poker Face to put them there. Stann has a major case of the Tilts, though, and he looks ready to explode Matusow and Hellmuth-style.

Alan has A-7; calls. Stann has A-9; raises. Alan calls. Jerry wanders onto the stage, Hollywood vehemently wants him out. Flop: 6-2-6. Stann's all in. Alan folds, though.

Hollywood: 6-5, raises. Alan: J-9 of hearts, calls. Flop: 8-3-3, 2 hearts. Alan bets with 4 to flush; Stann folds.

Alan: 4-8 of diamonds, calls the Big Blind. Stann: 6-5, checks. Flop: 5-A-4, Alan bets 1000, Stann makes it 3. Alan re-raises all in. Stann folds the best hand.

Stann: A-7, calls. Alan: 10-7, wants free cards. Flop: Q-10-K Stann's all in. Alan calls. Stann needs a Jack or Ace. Turn: 2. $18,600 is on the board. River.............4! Stann implodes as Alan takes a victory lap. However, to Dave's credit, even though he stormed out of the studio, he gives 10 seconds to Wayne Allyn Root in a post-game interview. I'd like to see Hellmuth do that when he gets busted heads-up.

Say goodbye to Hollywood, but THIS TUESDAY! you can say hello to the Championship Game. Watch this spot, because someone will win $1,000,000 as Spike TV will crown the first King of Vegas. BE THERE!