Personal note to the editors: Now that you have officially deemed this craptacular and an epic fail, can I go home?
 
Tonight, we find out who takes on the Flash Flood food challenge...
Patti B. opens up...
Will Heidi and Spencer survive the lost chamber...
And a medical emergency throws the camp into Chaos!
 
And with that, we start another two hour marathon of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" This is going to be miserable, but remain as neutral as I can. My personal comments will be in italics, like this.
 
Is anyone even watching this live, let alone the weekly recap on MTV?

They face the issues upfront, as Heidi and Spencer have to spend the night in the lost chamber. It looks like they are being given strict rules. The debate still rules camp conversation. Quotable: "I don't think America wants them to win this game, I think America wants to see them suffer!" -- Lou Diamond Phillips
 
"I guess this is what we deserve for being little crybabies." --Spencer Pratt
 
The Lost chamber, for those who are just joining us, is full of spiders, nasties, and the only lights are gas lights and electric lights.  It looks like the gang's ok with it. Lou, the camp leader, says that they would let them back in, not with open arms, but with open eyes. After lights out, Heidi and Spencer are seen praying through the night.
 
With all the nasties in there, I'll be surprised if Heidi and Spencer can last the night. Plus, why are we being played as viewers by changing the rules on us to allow them back in? Admittedly what they are going through is hell, but I feel that once you quit, it is OVER! And you can't come back.
 
The camp wonders the next morning, but Daniel says that the tide will turn. The two are released from the Lost Chamber, and they return to camp. Salley says that he's happy that the two snapped out of it. Spencer says he had an epiphany (bible-related) on the plane ride back. Judging by his body language, I think he's overdoing it. Stephen thinks the redemption is authentic. They do need to be good. Even Lou notices the change, and says it's a good start. Daniel says it's called "Convenient Christianity", and says that the two will revert back. We'll see.
 
I guess Heidi is in the recording business as well (SELF-PROMOTION!) and after listening to her, she can't carry a tune in a galvanized garbage can!!! Janice says my thoughts.
 
Quotable: "You know what that sounded like? A cat that got water put on it....I used to live in New York City...If someone started singing like that, they'd say 'SHADDUP!'"--Janice
 
Janice, this isn't your modeling agency.
 
Uh oh, Spencer is sticking up for his wife. And Spencer is saying he wants to calm down. He is taking deep breaths, before acting, and we have a new term. "Don't Spence Out on me!"
 
Spencer was very mature about this. Agreed and Janice comes on bended knee to apologize. All is well.
It looks like Spence is not going to be a villain after all.

As you remember, Angela was the first to be voted out. Well, Frances looks like she will join her friend on the outside world.
 
Quotable: "You know, you can't break up Abbott and Costello!" --Frances
 
Frances will be missed. I guess this means that Hannah Montana has her bodyguard back!
 
Frances will miss this crew of celebs, and she feels bad, but she needs to be with her friend/family/co-worker.
 
Heidi talks about her time before the hills. Times that she couldn't afford Ramen Noodles. Sanjaya says that while he has no problem talking religion, it is getting a bit overdone. It's like watching barney for the 18th time. Heidi is bent over in the prone position, and coughing up schtuff. Spencer is finally being the good man he can be. WHAT?!? I JUST SAID A COMPLIMENT ABOUT SPENCER?!? Oh gosh, I am getting sick!
 
Spencer and Heidi are still trying to find their faith. Salley says it has turned to Jesus Camp! I think Spence needs to go to Ash Wednesday service and remind himself of a certain bible lesson to not be one of the hypocrites and Pharisees. It's getting so bad, I am muting the COMPUTER! (Matthew Chapter 6 v. 1-21) Patti is playing the right way, by sometimes biting her tongue. Patti knows there is the right time and place for it. She is getting advice from Spencer. BLEAH!
 
Patti says the camping they're doing is a cakewalk compared to the life they live. I have respect for Patti...Being the Good Wife, and she can stay in the jungle all the time so that she can be happy. She spills her guts on her emotions during the impeachment hearings. She is grateful to be on the show, she is happy here, even though she misses her kids.
 
Reminder, no review on Tuesday, as there will be no show. The Pens will play the Red Wings Tuesday night. Damien and Myleene arrive in camp for the Food Trial results. The "winners" are...
 
Sanjaya "Jungle Boy"
and
Janice?!?
 
Well, it was good for that. But Sanjaya better not lose to her!
 
Quotable: "If you loose to Janice, you better pack your bags!" --Daniel
 
One will eat very well tonight....A Three-Lobster Dinner, apples, bananas, etc.
 
FLASH FLOOD!
Each player will be chained inside their individual cells on arms, wrists, and the keys to the locks are fed in while the water rises. It's up to the celebs to free themselves and place the locks in a special holding area. Whomever can do it the quickest wins. Oh, by the way, snakes, crabs and baby crocs will accompany the players inside. Sanjaya is running out of air....and completes the challenge. He even did the mack underwater and kissed the toad. 3:12 was his final time.
 
RESET FOR Janice....
 
AND BREAK!
 
Now Janice will have her turn.
 
Janice is actually doing good until the snakes got in. She's got all the keys with her person......The crocs come in and he is scared...Janice gives up due to her panic. She's a celebrity, get her out of there. Janice may have developed a new fear. And Janice admits defeat to Sanjaya. Jungle boy wins again!
 
The men are happy again. The girls, well, the Rice and Beans diet seems to slim them down a bit. Janice looks drained from just being in there. Well, the men admit to sharing their winning food with the ladies. Now it's Janice's turn to have a breakdown.
 
Wait a sec, She asks Sanjaya to help out...And just a few brushes of the forehead and she's ok. Either she's faking or he's got supernatural powers in this jungle. I think it's the former and not the latter!
 
We are now half way through this show. (^_^) DAMN is this long! Sanjaya is the most at-home at the jungle. He's made his war paint, his own ink for artwork, and his skills at survial are wonderful. Sanjaya made a broom, made a bracelet for Stephen, walking barefoot, he's whittling and weaving...MY WORD, THIS KID IS A WALKING BOY SCOUT HANDBOOK!
 
Hey, better to be known as a survivalist than an AI reject.
 
Heidi has admitted to being really really sick...Massively dehydrated. It's beginning to hurt too. Her body is not adapting to the jungle like everyone else. She wasn't taking care of herself. This time, the camp is genuinely concerned. Spencer and Heidi are going to the hospital. The medic is called in and both Spence and Heidi are out of camp...again!
 
IF you're quitting as part of a game plot, That's one thing. If you're sick or injured and are forced to quit, that's something else. I have respect for Heidi for trying to hack it. Spencer...he needs to stop bashing me on the head with a bible before my respect returns.
 
We see Heidi in the ambulance headed for the hospital, she admits to throwing up 10-15 times the night before. The onsite medical facility starts getting fluids into her, and giving her meds to control the pain. If Speidi are eliminated for this, I understand...But...... She needs to be taken to the genuine hospital nearby now...which I think effectively eliminates them. Janice believes that it's an act again. John Salley believes it. Earlier in their return, the two went on a spiritual fast...Not drinking the electrolyte filled water and eating nothing at all. I think her stomach turned on her. Daniel Baldwin said it was their choice. Heidi is in the hospital and they will do an ultrasound to see what's wrong.
Meanwhile, Jungle Boy the healer is working on Janice's back in a backrub. I think Janice realized that John was out. Daniel pleads for her to do something. Janice is laying low due to her illness. I'm getting tired of seeing her pouty lips....I need to see her gone!

SCROLL!
"It is time for the leadership trial to select the leader for the whole camp. Daniel says that if he gets the win, Janice is on KP duty...Yikes!

Leadership Trial
Everyone for them selves. Another gross-me-out eating challenge. The group is split randomly, four apiece. Janice, Torrie, John and Sanjaya are in Group 1. Group 1 will get to eat...Mupani Worms. Janice bails with the phrase before the word Go! Torrie and John bail...John vomited. Sanjaya is the only one left, but due to the rules, he has to finish his course. Sanjaya is seriously rattled. Sanjaya crushed these worms, and offered a plate to Daniel that was uneaten... Daniel downed it no prob.

Group Two is Stephen, Daniel, Patti and Lou. And their course is...Leaf cutter ants. Steven after tasting one, goes for them all, and forfeits, and Patti follows suit. It's still Lou and Daniel...With Daniel winning first, and lou in second.
 
Sanjaya needs to finish course two...a bull's testicle. It's making everyone vomit. Me too! I need to shower this is so nasty!
 
It looks nasty......
 
And even the hosts and Sanjaya comment that it was a rancid stank.
 
He broke it up into one piece. Sanjaya, after two pieces, says "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!"  Well done, lad for that much.
 
Lou v. Daniel for the Camp Leader position.
 
Stick Insect and a cow tongue chaser.
 
Daniel chows down the insect. Lou forfeits!
 
Quotable: "I was looking at this stick creature, and I just got this flash of my daughters saying 'No daddy, don't kill the bug!"" --Lou

Daniel also bails, figuring that he was a shoe in for leader. The rules state that the final course MUST be finished. So with no leader, the hosts allow a vote and Lou retains the camp leader position. Lou is actually touched that the vote was unanimous.
 
If I had to pick a winner, It would have to be Lou or Sanjaya! Lou has good leadership skills.
 
Chore assignment! Daniel will handle the jungle john....And Janice will do the dishes. Bah!
 
Now we get the humane side of things. Each celeb is playing for a charity...

Daniel talks about his mom being a breast cancer survivor (The Carol M. Baldwin Breast Cancer Research Fund) and gets a little emotional.
 
John is playing for Cedars Sinai Sports Spectacular. John says that if you don't give the time, it's not worth it.
 
Torrie chose the DAV due to her American pride and it would be a great way to thank the veterans. Agreed!
 
Lou plays for the Art Has Heart Foundation, to raise money for art scholarships for Native Americans and Latinos.
 
Janice is playing for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric Aids Foundation, saying it's worth the suffering to help ease someone else's. Janice has been an Aids activist most of her life, so good for her!
 
Sanjaya is playing for the Shriner's Hospital for Kids. Sanjaya is motivated by the kids unselfishness.
 
Patti is playing for the Children's Cancer Center (Reports say they might not want the $$).
 
Love 146 (Stephen's Charity) rescues girls in Asia who were sold to slavery.
 
Very touching!
 
The one redeeming thing I will say is that all these charities are valid, and you can donate by calling 1-877-686-GIVE (4483) or log on to www.nbc.com. This will go to all the charities. I will probably donate a few bucks from my next pay to this charity fund.
 
Time for an update on "Speidi"
 
Daniel and the camp agree she is not cut out for this. But it could also be something random. This does prove that they are actually doing this.
 
At the hospital, the ultra-sound came back negative. Everything seems to be normal. The docs think it's Gastritis or a Gastric Ulcer. Lou officially says that the two are now officially out of the competition.
 
I wanted them out, but I do not like them quitting for medical reasons.
 
Spencer believes that the two have proven themselves. Heidi, yes. Spencer, NO!
 
Dinner time for the campers, and the basket of food is lowered...Now Sanjaya saw three big lobsters for the prize. But, the men have shared their food. And now the game punishes them. A scroll accompanies the food. "Congratulations to the men on winning the food trial, However, as you have broken the rules for sharing the food last night, you will get smaller portions this evening."
 
Sanjaya, who won the game, says he wants the right to choose. Daniel wants to go back to play the game. So now the camp will have to go play by the rules.

Now we're live for the Live immunity trial. "Hang Tough".
 
This better not be an American Gladiators Hang Tough.
 
Once again, Daniel has brought a picture of his mom. Nice to know he thinks of mom every now and then. Janice says that the doctor has not cleared her for this trial. The celebs are going to hang by their hands in an endurance challenge.
 
And as the bridge they walked up to the hanging bars is pulled aside, that's when we leave. Salley's so tall, his feet are already in the water.  Nice planning, NBC!
 
Remember, no show Tuesday Night, but Wednesday night will be a 2 hour catch-up show. Tease coming....Holly Montag joins the cast!
 
See you after the show Wednesday! And oh, by the way, LET'S GO PENS! LET'S GO PENS!