Prologue: Damien and Myleene at studio
central of Costa Rica. They say that the teams have been together for 48
hours. And they will be together for the next three weeks. We get to
decide on everything they do (Think “The Truman Show” or “Ed TV”). We
nominate who gets sent up for a Jungle Trial (A survival mission of some
sort) and who gets eliminated. At the end, one will be crowned
King/Queen of the jungle.
Just hours into adventure, we hear from two of the people who might not
enjoy the trip due to their fear of bugs. Janice Dickinson (expected)
and Torrie Wilson (Call me a mark, but I didn’t expect this from a
former WWE Diva). Let’s break down the teams.
Janice Dickinson (supermodel)
Spencer Pratt ("The Hills")
Heidi Pratt ("The Hills")
John Salley (NBA great)
Patti Blagojevich (wife of deposed Illinois governor)
Lou Diamond Phillips (actor)
Torrie Wilson (former WWE Diva)
Stephen Baldwin (Baldwin brother)
Frances & Angela, collectively known as "Frangela" (VH1 comics &
Hannah Montana's bodyguards)
Sanjaya (former Idoler)
The Red team is forced to hike to the
campsite and try to forge a river. The first fall of the series goes to
John Salley, but the scariest one goes to Patti as she actually gets
swept down stream in the rapids. She winds up in a lagoon where the
area’s calm and she is able to stand. She did right in just relaxing and
The Yellow Team takes a boat in and they start their hike and the first
bleep belongs to Lou Diamond Phillips.
We get word from Damien and Myleene that the first trial will be the
Day Zero continues on the Yellow Team. It looks like Stephen Baldwin is
taking the lead. Was he an adventurer in a former life? Heck no, He’s
famous for being on multiple reality shows. BUT he is being a good
leader, looking after Frangela.
Over with the Reds, Spencer is wondering how they would share sleeping
arrangements, while the remainder look at nature.
Red arrives first at the camp. It’s bare bones minimum. Basically cots
made of wood and string. Hammocks, fire ring and a “Jungle John”. Heidi
and Spencer are not enjoying this, especially hearing in the rules that
two celebs must clean the John every day.
QUOTABLE: "I would do this to Al-Qaeda!"--Heidi
Heidi and Spencer say, “We are celebrities, get us out of here” in the
first night! Now, should we take them at their word? Probably so. Just
outside the confessional, they talk to NBC President Ben Silverman,
calling the other celebs names, saying their own celebrity-dom is
devaluing every day.
Sanjaya tends fire for the night.
While John Salley is cooking vegan (his preference) and Frangela do the
dishes and get fire wood, Stephen tries to get some local vegetation.
Heidi and Spencer, who stayed up with Sanjaya, are dead asleep and their
hammock is ruined. After they waken, they try to break out. Well, since
they’re gone, and left all their stuff, the camp decides to divvy up the
stuff. It looks like Sanjaya got the best, as he has one of the two cots
The two return and they start probably the longest argument in Reality
TV history over the fact that the other celebs ripped the labels off of
Heidi’s stuff. Spencer loses it and knocks Angela’s canteen out of her
hand. The argument goes south quickly! I’ve heard of sticking up for a
girlfriend, but you’re supposed to do that when she is seriously
Quotable: "I’ve heard of Jungle Fever, but This is ridiculous!” -Stephen
After rooting through Frangela’s bags, the argument ends…only to start
again. Thankfully Salley is trying to break it up.
Quotable: “You probably use steroids!” -Spencer Pratt to Torrie Wilson
Spencer’s anger is directed to Torrie as he saw her mocking Heidi.
Meanwhile in confession, Spencer admits to wanting to be the “Camp
Villain”. He’s watched his Survivor! I want to tell him, “You ain’t a
celebrity, get outta here!”
Damien and Myleene introduce the twist…It’s now Boys v. Girls
Oh well. There goes my perfectly planned chart.
After the transition, Spencer finds Torrie’s rucksack and looks like he
is going to dump it in the river…Not really. He hides it across the
river on the other mountain. After a while, Torrie figures it out.
Spencer apologizes to them all, returns the rucksack and all is right
with the world right?
Spencer admits in confessional that he is still trying for that Camp
Villain role. In public, he said that he wants to be the villain because
it is the villain that is remembered.
Quotable: “I see them all as Servants”--Spencer
First Challenge: Jungle Joe’s Dine-in
Standard Gross out eating contest. Winning team gets platter of chicken,
fruit and veggies for the night. Losers will eat rice and beans. First
team to five wins. (Janice sits out to make the teams even, as she has
John v. Heidi with Rat’s tail. John swallows it whole! Score one for the
Sanjaya v. Angela with Cow intestine milkshake. Sanjaya (quoting
experience with mom’s protein shakes) wins, but spills a good portion.
He licks the table clean to prove his worth. Score 2-0 in favor of the
Fran v. Spencer-Praying Mantis (Yes a live bug!)
Fran gets the win on this one As Spencer at the darn flower garnish! He
thought it was that easy. If he’s going to think it’s that easy…Jeez.
Patti v. Lou -Tarantula
Lou looks like he’s gonna lose it, and I’m not talking about respect. He
is able to pick up the win as Patti takes her sweet old time. Lou’s
comments in the confessional make me think he actually liked it!
Torrie v. Stephen-Three pieces of Tripe (Cow intestine)
They group this delicacy in “Offul” for a reason! It’s darn Awful!
Stephen gave up after one piece. I thought he was going to say the magic
words, but he let Torrie win. I don’t know about Baldwin.
Heidi v. John round 2-Three Scorpions
Despite Salley being a vegetarian, he is able to down three scorpions
like it’s no one’s business! He must have an iron stomach.
Angela v. Sanjaya round 2-Iguana Tail
Sanjaya didn’t even chew! He just swallowed the darn thing. It gives the
guys the win!
Afterward, Lou is beginning to second guess his own guts (pun intended)
but he felt proud of himself and everyone for completing the challenge.
Sanjaya makes the comment that the shake he had in the jungle was better
than Mom’s protein shakes. (Sorry ma!)
After that, Damien says that we can contribute to the charity fund,
which will help distribute money to all the chosen charities.
The camp then gets a civics lesson from Patti on her husband’s
impeachment proceedings. She points out all the good Rob had done, and
all the hell she went through. She has earned the respect from everyone
in the camp. She believes Rob to be innocent. Hey, not bad.
Dinner is delivered by basket, and the men feel bad, so they decide to
share some of the food with the women. It was a big dinner, and a lot of
fruit and chicken to go round. Me, I would’ve been greedy.
The two teams are instructed to pick leaders (Janice and Lou) and the
two will face off for Camp Leader. It’s an arm lift challenge. Keep your
arms above your head. First one to drop loses, while the other gets Camp
Leader. Oh, their arms are shackled to some buckets overhead. If you
drop, you get slimed. Lou wins this challenge.
Camp leader has some special privileges. No matter how his team does in
the food trials, he will not be penalized food wise. He can also get any
celeb to do some pampering to him. At this point, Sanjaya volunteers to
rub his feet for the week. Lou also gets to delegate the daily chores.
It’s time for the Jungle Trial again, and now the Celebs join Damien and
Stephen admits to getting snakebit twice in the hour. Way to go, bro!
Jungle Trial: Trauma Tank
Each celeb is strapped to a see-saw, and put head first into the tank.
The tank will then have various items placed into it. If you want out,
just lift yourself out. Last person standing saves their team from
elimination vote. What gets placed in the tank? Bugs….Spiders…Grubs…And
that’s where they leave off for night one.
Initial evaluation: I’m a game show reviewer…GET ME OUT OF HERE! Two
hours? Thank heaven it was just the premiere special and it looks like
that the live every night will only be an hour long.
To view extra footage from this episode,
go to www.nbc.com/imacelebrity. .