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Auditions:
A Tale of Two Cities
January 29
Chico:: Okay, tonight, it's two cities for the price of one. First we
head up to New York City to see what the Big Apple has in store. Then it down to
Puerto Rico. In 1957, they came together for "West Side Story". In 2009...
they're coming together again... Did we save the best for last?
Don: Maybe. Either way, this oughta be good!
Jason: 2 Cities...including my spot NYC.
Chico:: Yep.
EAST RUTHERFORD, NEW JERSEY - Izod Center
Chico:: New Yorkers are known for their confidence,... right, J?
Jason: Hell yeah. Oh boy this doesn't look good.
Chico:: First up, Adeola Adegoke (19, Bronx, NY), who quit her job
because she's sure she's going to Hollywood.
Jason: I am not sure.
Don: I'm not so sure after hearing that.
Chico:: She sings "And I'm Telling You" by Jennifer Hudson. And I'm
guessing if she hurries, maybe she can get her job back. Simon calls it
"shockingly bad". And cue the begging. And cue the singing.
Don: Oh, geez...
Chico:: Simon wants to dial up the boss to try and get her job back.
Ryan's on the line with him... and he gets Simon.
Jason: He does.
Don: That was nice of him.
Chico:: She'll get her job back.
Jason: This is awesome.
Chico:: That's nice of him. Meanwhile...
SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO - Coliseo de Puerto Rico.
Chico:: Jorge Nunez (Carolina, PR; 28, college student) says he sings
from his heart. Sings My Way... en espanol... He's got the voice for it.
Jason: And he has the voice.
Chico:: He's spunky.
Jason: A little off at the end.
Chico:: How's his English?
Don: Sounds good to me.
Chico:: We find out with "What a Wonderful World". Which is also quite
nice. He sings better in Spanish, really.
Jason: Yes.
Chico:: But he's THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD. So far... NYC: 0. PR: 1. Next up
in PR is Jessika Baier (20, waitress from Jackson, MI)...
Jason: Oh boy.
Chico:: She flew all the way from Michigan. She looks like the kind of
person who was never told no. She loves contests, having competed in and won
700. She opened for Corbin Bleu. Her song, "I Surrender"... She's... a little
overblown. Simon... didn't really like it.
Jason: STOP THE BEGGING!
Chico:: And yeah... so far, she's 700 and 1. The sound is not there.
She's very... very ... loud. Paula tries to salve the bleeding. Doesn't work.
Jason: Stab the wound.
Chico:: And yeah, she's never been told no.
Jason: Bingo.
Chico:: And neither have these people. Montage time
Jason: God I hate these people.
Chico:: No joke. Meanwhile in NYC, it's Melinda Camille (22, Stratford,
CT). She says that humanity is taking a shift and she wants to help uplift. She
says she's happy dancing naked in her room.
Don: Whoa.
Chico:: God I wish Gordon was here..
Jason: BOOBIES! Does thathelp?
Chico:: That helps.
Jason: LOL
Chico:: Melinda wants to join a nudist colony.
Jason: Hello!
Chico:: Unfortunately, this is a family show, and she'll have to sing
fully dressed.
Jason: She wants all the judges naked.
Don: Suddenly, I'm feeling something...
Chico:: She's singing "Feeling Good".
Jason: Except that she has a killer voice.
Chico:: It's a little flat, but she tells the story. She definitely
believes in herself. Randy says she has a nice pleasant disposition.
Jason: And she is THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD.
Chico:: NYC puts their first through.
Don: Nice.
Chico:: Sunshine! Now dance naked for me.
Jason: And Gordon gets a chance to see her naked. Now I know who Melinda
reminds me of....Me'shell Ndege'ocello or something like that.
Chico:: Back in New York with a party. Jackie Tohn (27, Silver Lake, CA;
singer) started rocking the cradle as a kid. She learns a lot of blues chords.
Chico:: All she knows how to do is entertain.
Jason: She has the rasp.
Chico:: She sings "I'm Yours" She's very raspy.
Jason: I don't like her.
Chico:: Simon wants a second song. He gets one.
Jason: That's better.
Chico:: this is more like it.
Don: She sounds better the second time!
Chico:: Raspy, but not taking away from the performance. Paula calls her
unpredictable and surprising. She and Randy say yes. And then the wind blows the
window out.
Don: Yipes.
Jason: and she is THROUGH.
Chico:: She's got four yeses. Now she just has to find out who she is.
Over in Puerto Rico... It's a little less of a party. This is the look of 300
people disappointed. It's very depressing. Well, 299, anyway.
Jason: OUCH
Chico:: Okay, two islands, one thing in common... Kate Cassidy and Carlos
Santos... and Antyon Smith... Jasmine James demonstrate...ENERGY! Meanwhile,
Mike Perlman does guitar. Err... stereotar.
Don: ...The heck?
Chico:: I don't know.
Jason: Oh man.
Chico:: Joel Contreras (23, street performer) tries to do it in PR.
Jason: And he needs a swift kick in the nads.
Chico:: He's a crazy rocker in a dog suit. But today, he's wearing an
iPod. A BIG iPod. He tries "To Be With You" and "Don't Let Me Leave", Mr. Big
and Marc Anthony respectively.
Jason: He looks like a psychotic Sanjaya
Chico:: It's... terrible. And he tries using a puppet. And #3 on his
playlist... "Circle of Life".
Jason: Uh....no.
Chico:: The judges shut his iPod off PERMANENTLY.
Don: Thank goodness.
Chico:: He changes into Superdork and jumps into a pool.
Jason: That's Super Culo.
Don: I have no words for that.
Chico:: Meanwhile, Nick "Norman Gentle" Mitchell (27, Brookfield, CT)
tries in New York. He sings "And I'm Telling You". And... it's still not funny.
Well, that one bit WAS funny.
Jason: Do you think he is a drag queen?
Chico:: He's a better actor than he is a singer.
Don: Indeed.
Chico:: Do I think he's a drag queen?
Jason: Yes.
Chico:: Probably.
Jason: With a name like "Norman Gentle" yes.
Chico:: Which is a shame that he's wasting his audition, because he
sounds... decent. ... never mind.
Jason: He can't help being...flamboyant.
Chico:: He's got one good voice and 54 stupid faces. They have medication
for that.
Don: lol
Chico:: ... but the judges whatever him THROUGH? WHAT?!
Don: ???
Jason: OH MY GOD!
Don: He won't last in the next round. Guaranteed.
Jason: But we have some really good talent.
Chico:: Ashley Hollister (21, receptionist; Hasbrouck Heights, NJ), Kenny
Hoffpauer (18; HS student from Havertown, PA), and Kendall Beard (23, college
student from Austin, TX) are all good on talent, though. They're ALL through. So
far, NY and PR have given us a lot... Not so for Nicole Laraway. Or Mark Granata.
Or Michael Sconiers. Next is the big sister of this kid... Christopher Garcia
Torres. "Where's Simon?" Heh. He's funny. How will his sister Monique (16; HS
student from San Juan) do, though? Chris thinks she's good. Monique will sing
"You Can't Hurry Love".
Jason: Damn this kid is good.
Chico:: She sounds cute.
Jason: And she has a pure voice.
Chico:: Nice, clean cut...
Don: I like it.
Chico:: Second try is "I Turn To You" by Christina Aguilera.
Jason: Radio Disney like.
Chico:: Oh yeah, the Disney crowd will eat this girl up.
Jason: Watch this kid.
Chico:: But she needs for her voice to develop, say the judges. It's all
on Simon now... she's got another shot. She's THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD. Thanks,
Christopher.
Jason: I think she has a better shot than Simon thinks.
Chico:: As for Monique... She is a little underdeveloped, but just a tad.
A little time in H'wood with the vocal trainer should clear that up. But if it
doesn't... she might be on the plane back to San Juan. As it is, though... she's
very marketable. J, you're the marketability expert here....
Jason: I would think so. But if she gets cut, I wouldn't be surprised if she
tries again. She is just on the cusp. She has that Selena Gomez/Demi Lovato
tween vibe down pat.
Chico:: Alrighty, we're winding down in two cities. NYC gives us one...
final... contestant...
Jason: Oh no.
Chico:: Oh dear...
Don: Uh-oh.
Jason: Alexis Cohen from Season 7 (24, college student from Philly)
Chico:: We see her chanting a daimoku before entering the ring of fire...
and I hope she's a true Buddhist, otherwise, I maybe a little insulted.
Don: Think her voice will be better?
Chico:: She's... uh... taken over a new leaf..
Jason: She has the Glad handing down pat.
Chico:: Only time will tell on that one, Don. She sings "Like a
Prayer"... And to answer your question, Don.... NO. This is just a comedy
routine. Simon: "That was actually fairly horrendous."
Don: I'll agree with that.
Chico:: Kara says she was better when she was her. And... two fingers.
Yay.
Don: Figures. :P
Jason: LOL
Chico:: So she hasn't changed THAT much.
Jason: Thank you. You are an a**hole.
Chico:: But at least she's admitting to failure this time. Over in Puerto
Rico.. Last up is Patricia Lewis Roman (20, singer from Caguas, PR), whose
parents got married at the audition venue... some time back, we hope.
Chico:: She "Wanna Dance with Somebody" by Whitney.
Jason: Her voice is a little overblown
Chico:: She's got that raw singer vibe. If she can control it, she can do
well. But the song choice does her in. She tries something in Spanish... which
sounds a little more controlled... Randy says yes. Paula says no. And She's
THROUGH! But she needs to vastly improve.
Don: Yep.
Chico:: From tonight's show, we have ... a party. A big party. Nine from
Puerto Rico, 26 in New York City. That's 35 to round out the final 147. They're
all headed WHERE?
Don: HOLLYWOOD!
Chico:: And WHY?
Jason: It's HOLLYWOOD WEEK.
Chico:: Good. But remember... a ticket to Hollywood... is a ticket... to
Hell. If it's to happen, it has to happen NEXT WEEK. and the WEEK AFTER THAT.
Jason: Two weeks of hell to get to 36, and soon after...it's on YOU.
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