Chico: What does it say when the host and the
head judge are escorted by police and sheriff to the Veterans Memorial Arena ...
and they're trying to cue up the episode?
Gordon: It says that the public in Jacksonville are done torching Jack Del Rio
and they want more meat. OK. cued up.
Chico: Okay... This... is JACKSONVILLE.
Gordon: Hi Jacksonville!
JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA - Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena.
Chico: Chico... Gordon... Don... Idol... Tonight, we're heading to the Sunshine
Gordon: Ryan and Simon joke around in a car. Ryan jokes around in a cart and
gets lost. This would be construed as business as usual.
Chico: And we start... with a clip from 25 years ago of Randy playing bass for
Journey. Ironically, at the JVMA. For 12,000, it's a chance to step into his big
Gordon: Jacksonville. Home of Randy Jackson.
Chico: First up in the home of Randy Jackson, Joshua Ulloa (22, tile layer from
Beverly Hills, FL).
Gordon: Being compared to Justin Guarini - not a good thing.
Chico: He enjoys the comparison... but does he sound at least as half as good as
the season one vet does?
Gordon: He looks like Guarini. He sounds a lot better.
Chico: He sounds like Taylor Hicks... if he was hipper.
Gordon: He's a poor man's Blake Lewis.
Chico: The song, by the way, was "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.
Gordon: But he needs to not overdo it.
Chico: Doesn't have the range he thinks he has. Simon though it was like
"Inspector Gadget". Randy kinda liked it. It was entertaining. We get four yeses
and our first THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD from JAX.
Gordon: Kind sorta.
Chico: Next, the Dawg meets the dog of Sharon Wilbur (22, Jacksonville)... a
Shih-Tzu. She's doing this for her dog... even though she says otherwise.
Gordon: She actually has a purer tone than Guarini lookalike. And the Shih-Tzu
is cute, too.
Chico: She sings "Superstar" by the Carpenter. She's nice. Cleaner...
Gordon: Randy and Simon both say yes. Paula and Kara...make out.
Chico: Okay, she's THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD. Amazingly enough, Kara wanted Simon to
lay one on her first. Oh well.
Gordon: Kara says her mission isn't complete until Simon makes out with her.
There's still time, Kara.
Chico: Yep. Meanwhile, Ryan gets... lost.
Gordon: And we do too, with Dana Moreno's (24, college student form West Palm
Beach) loud rendition of Through The Fire
Chico: She wants to take direction. Take THIS direction... Exit.
Gordon: Simon gives her direction on how to get out of the room. Dana doesn't
have a bad voice, but it's a bad choice of song. And she oversings it.
Chico: Next is Kaneswa Finnie (16, HS student), who sings "Caught Up in the
Rapture of Love" by Anita Baker. That's a tough song. You need to have the low
notes for that.
Gordon: You either need to hit it, or it will hit you. And the song...hits my
Chico: And then it gets to work on my medulla oblongata. She totally misses
every point available to her. It's whiny, it's not vibrant... It's just....
wrong. And not in the good way either. And here comes mom to defend poor Kaneswa.
Don: Oh, dear...
Chico: She says... "She sings all around Jacksonville."
Gordon: Mom says she is her American Idol. Do they drink different water down
Chico: Julissa Veloz (Orlando, 19, sales), Miss Florida Latina USA is next. She
can do some Whitney.
Gordon: We haven't had a Latina American Idol (or Latin, for that matter).
Chico: The song is "I Have Nothing"...
Gordon: And we won't have it here in this candidate either. She's real pitchy.
Chico: Simon actually thinks it's better than he thought it would be, but it
wasn't that nice.
Gordon: She picked a bad song.
Chico: Yeah, but she belted it out. Which doesn't count for much if she doesn't
Gordon: Paula feels slighted that the judges didn't ask for her opinion and she
leaves, with Julissa chasing after her.
Chico: Paula and Randy... and Kara... and Simon all say yes. THROUGH TO
HOLLYWOOD. But will Julissa be crowned the next American Idol?
Gordon: She gets 4 yes's and we have another first rounder pegged for
elimination early in Hollywood week.
Chico: Back in Jacksonville... Darin Darnell (28, tennis instructor, Houston,
TX) says he knows how to work a room. He loves to mesh. He likes to be around
people who enjoy people.
Gordon: This means...he's going to suck.
Chico: Meanwhile, his friend Devin Cates... gets cut.
Gordon: His friend...doesn't get in and Darin starts to cry. This doesn't look
too good for Darin.
Chico: He's going to try "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye" by the Boyz from
Philly... working through emotional hurt.
Don: If he can start...
Chico: Aaaaaand true to form, he's horrible.
Gordon: If it makes you feel better, I don't think even if he was in good
spirits, he would have done better.
Chico: Kara has the quote of the night. "It's pain and heartache, and if you
can't take it in this room, we did you a HUGE solid."
Gordon: Kara is right. If he gets upset over his friend getting cut, this is not
the right field of work for him.
Chico: Last contestant of the day is Naomi Sykes (25; Tampa; server). She
compares herself to Mariah Carey.
Gordon: She's compared to Mariah Carey in the high notes.
Chico: In that she's a talented looney. Meanwhile, Simon invites her "deluded
Gordon: She's nervous and she wants her friend to come in and meet Randy
Jackson. Randy gets his wish.
Chico: Everyone should meet Randy Jackson at least once. As for Naomi, she tries
"Lovin' You"... Minnie Riperton.
Gordon: I'm getting nervous.
Chico: While fangirl sits on Randy, Paula sits on Simon, and Ryan sits on Kara.
Gordon: Tthough he should be sitting on Simon's lap.
Don: This is crazy!
Chico: A true Hollywood love-in.
Gordon: And if she stops singing, that would be my wish.
Chico: And Naomi sits on the song... And farts. Even the high note is sharp.
What does THAT tell you?
Don: I would have been fine if someone sat on my ears while she sang.
Chico: Probably would've been more tolerable as well.
Gordon: The judges make fun of her and she starts crying. The judges console her
as we only get 9 tickets awarded during day 1.
Chico: After day 1... Simon has this to say... "They weren't very good. Mostly,
they were... terrible." Will Jacksonville finally deliver the goods on day 2?
Gordon: And now we know why Jeseena got in.
Chico: You mean Julissa?
Gordon: Whatever her name is. It will also be gone after the first cut.
Chico: (Program note: Idol #1 premieres a new video tomorrow) Meanwhile, the
search for Idol #8 continues. Yesterday left a lot to be desired. But today is a
new day. First up, Jasmine Murray (Starkville, MI), a 16-year-old student from a
large family. She's the baby of the group. She's a special baby, as mom had
severe toxemia and both mom and baby weren't expected to make it. She sings "Big
Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie. She's got her own voice. That's a plus. It's a
little nasal, though.
Gordon: It's a good choice of song. It's not a vocally challenging song, and it
stresses the tone. Its nicely toned.
Chico: Simon thinks, cute, commercial, and a very good singer. She'll make it
through to Hollywood easily. Next is George Ramirez (18, Tallahassee, college
student). He's got Tom Green's beard and Gordon Pepper's brain.
Gordon: and the choreographic moves of Jason Block.
Chico: And Jason Block's moves.
Gordon: This is NOT a good thing. I'm scared we both thought the same thing
about Jason Block at the same time.
Chico: He wants a simple house... with marble floors. He sings "Walking on
Gordon: He sings a lot like Jason Block, too. Again. This is NOT a compliment
Chico: ... and it's cloudy with a 90% chance of suck. And of course, he says
he's never sang in public.
Gordon: Which would surprise...no one.
Don: No argument here.
Chico: Nope. The beard is legendary, though.
Gordon: Nice beard. If your'e into those things.
Chico: Annemarie Boskovich (22, Nashville, nanny) is next. Kara's her hero. Oh
dear. Fangirl stalker alert.
Gordon: She sings back to Kara - and I can already tell she has a nice voice.
Simon wants Anne-Marie to dress and stylize like a star.
Chico: So the clock... is ticking. Meanwhile, TK Hash (Concord, NC; 23,
administrator), who auditioned last year and didn't make it, goes in. He sings
"Imagine" by John Lennon.
Gordon: The year off did him good. He has a nice tone.
Chico: Very nice.
Don: I like it.
Chico: And he makes it his own.
Gordon: Id like it more if he got the words right, but who cares?
Chico: He's got a big voice, Paula says. Is Randy right when he says it's too
over the top? Simon says no. Randy and Paula say yes. Kara says... YOU'RE
THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD.
Gordon: Randy is right. Not every song needs to be over exaggerated.
Gordon: Some songs need to be sung. Even when David Archuleta did it, he added
some frills to it. He didn't redecorate the dress.
Chico: Just sing the melody. It's a beautiful melody. Haunting even. And this
goes back to an unwritten rule of Idol.. Don't use a katana to butter bread.
Start with a salvo that will get your foot in the door. Leave them wanting more
up to the bitter end. Meanwhile, everyone's families have something to say about
their prospective Idols. Michael Perrelli's (18; Orlando; musician) included.
Chico: He is a fierce guitarist....
Gordon: And he's told he can't play with the guitar in the audition room.
Chico: And he has no back up plan.
Don: That doesn't sound good.
Chico: Don't panic. He sings "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind.
Gordon: And he's freaking out. And like I said about Darnell, if he has an issue
now...he's not going to be remotely ready for Hollywood. I understand why he
needs the guitar. The voice isn't bad, but I don't think it's good enough.
Chico: He doesn't sound ready. He's more of a band player. He says that he's a
very nervous singer right now. What's the ultimate word right now? "Don't start
Gordon: I think he needs another year of vocal polishing.
Chico: Just get a job and put a band together.
Gordon: He's not as good as he thinks he is.
Chico: He knows he's good enough. We know... better.
Gordon: I think he can be good. He's just too raw.
Chico: But back to Nanny Annemarie for a moment. She transformed herself into
Annemarie the star. She's going to sing "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat.
Gordon: We know she's good, vocally. I think it's a bad song to audition with.
Chico: Very. And again, just sing the melody. She's trying to front as a star,
and the scary bit is that it's working. But she has another chance to prove
herself... IN HOLLYWOOD.
Chico: Okay, J-ville is done. 16 people are heading to Hollywood.
Gordon: Not many. I don't know if that warrants a trip back.
Chico: And those 16... are walking on sunshine right now. As this montage shows.
Gordon: And we finish with another horrible song montage.
Chico: So where are we heading next, Doctor?
Gordon: Next is tomorrow - Salt Lake City, the home of David Archuleta.
Gordon: And the home of...The Osmonds?
Chico: Trust us... this is relevant. Stay tuned. We're back next time. Say
Gordon: Goodnight, folks.