Gordon: Salt Lake City, Utah. Land of David
Archuleta, who came in the runner-up position last year. And home of today's
Chico: I do promise you one thing...Tonight's show will feature an Osmond. Let's
get the ball rolling...
SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH - EnergySolutions Arena.
We start at 5a...The judging room is quiet. The
crowd on the other hand...
Gordon: We have shiny happy Mormons in the line. Utah is considered 'The
Friendliest Place on Earth'. We'll see about that. Randy Jackson needs to be
reminded that Salt Lake City is in Utah
Chico: Trivia: did you know they get the HSM ensemble form this town? Not the
cast, but all the dancers.
Gordon: Did not know that.
Chico: First up... David Osmond (29, Provo)... the son of Alan. The nephew of
Donny. He... totally doesn't look like an Osmond, but he recognizes that there's
a history that goes with that name. Meanwhile, David was diagnosed with MS,
which relegated him to a wheelchair.
Gordon: Like his dad. Like my mom.
Chico: He says that he could go back to that wheelchair at any time. He's going
to sing "Something Within Me" by Take 6.
Gordon: Decent enough voice. Certainly good enough to get to Hollywood. Nowhere
near good enough to make the Top 36.
Chico: He certainly sounds like he can roll with an Osmond.
Gordon: He can't. He's very very pitchy. It's also a bad song choice.
Chico: He's used to singing songs from groups. He needs to pick a solo artist.
The runs don't tell them who he is. But... HE'S THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD.
Gordon: I'll be shocked if he makes the Top 36.
Chico: Judging by what we've seen so far.... I wouldn't.
Jason: Me neither.
Gordon: Mark my words. He's not making the Top 36.
Chico: And if he does?
Gordon: Jason - I'll bet you sushi on it.
Chico: Ah, the first of many sushi bets.
Jason: I'm not taking that bet. I ain't stupid. :) But why do you think he's not
going to make it?
Gordon: 1. Not strong enough. 2. They can't risk someone with MS on that stage.
I've seen what MS can do first-hand. 3. He's an Osmond. That will get him to the
finals on name alone, damn the voice. There's no way he sniffs the Top 36.
Chico: Ok. We're back with... the only goth in SLC.
Gordon: Tara Matthews (bill collector) is 21...and looks 45. She thinks she has
Chico: So do I... It's on channel 31.
Gordon: Ba DUM bum.
Chico: She thinks... she has a good feeling, but she doesn't know that she'll
Gordon: If she did, you would think that she would know better than to show up
today on stage.
Chico: Hmm... probably. "The Only Day I'll Fly Away" from Moulin Rouge is the
song... Yeah, she's about to fly away, alright.
Gordon: After hearing her for 15 seconds, my ESP tells me she's not going to
come close to winning anything but a musical sedative.
Chico: That's the LAST thing she needs. She's already too flat. The outfit, the
song choice, the whole package is just depressing. Isn't that just depressing?
And, after the judges say no... we have a finger from Tara.
Chico: Aleesha Turner... looks like her audition is spliced in.
Gordon: Katie Sullivan needs a finger.
Chico: Katie Sullivan... same thing. And Rich Kagel... same thing.
Gordon: Rich Kagel needs a finger and a beautician.
Chico: But you know what I mean, right? Looks like they never even met the
Gordon: Sure does.
Chico: Next up, Chris Kirkham (26, Ogden, telemarketer)... with his friend Greg
the Rabbit (or Grabbit)
Gordon: He brings a Simon sign and a lucky rabbit. A lucky human rabbit. This is
worse than Andrew Lang bringing in the 2 cheerleaders.
Chico: He'll sing "Roll to Me" by Del Amitri. With a bunny in the background.
Gordon: And unfortunately, with the dancing bunny in the background, he's as
much out of pitch as Andrew's cheerleaders.
Chico: This can only go one way...Downhill.
Gordon: My eardrums are rolling down the hill.
Chico: He'll change songs with "Ain't No Mountain High Enough"...And it sounds
the same. Childish. Truth is... Chris isn't going to Hollywood, and Grabbit is
going back into his hole.
Gordon: You know the sad thing? I think if he took it seriously and sang it
well, he would have had a shot.
Chico: Oh yeah. That's all folks.
Gordon: But he and his bunny got 15 seconds of TV,
Chico: At least they've got THAT going.
Gordon: and going...and going....and going...and...Hey, He's a pink bunny. He
could be a Energizer bunny!
Chico: ... yeah. Let's go back to last year with David Archuleta.... remember
how nice he was? Seems like it's catching. I've not seen this many happy people
since my last trip to TPIR.
Gordon: With or without the paintball guns?
Chico: Without. Ryan goes into the holding room to try and talk up the troops.
Gordon: Ryan tells the audience to not just say thank you to the judges but try
to fight to get to Hollywood and convince the judges, because just saying thank
you and leaving does not make good television.
Chico: Does Frankie Jordan (23, Hollywood, CA) make any good television? She's a
stay-at-home mom. She says she's been singing all her life.
Gordon: She'll definitely make good TV.
Chico: She tries "You Know I'm No Good" by Amy Winehouse. She sounds like Amy...
and that's the problem. It's decent, but it's affected.
Gordon: Very shaky start, but she recovers. I like her voice and her tone. Good
enough to go to Hollywood.
Chico: Simon and Kara say yes. I want to hear her sing something else in case
this is a trick of the light, you know?
Gordon: I agree. I want to see her sing something else.
Chico: So do the other two. She's THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD. Frankie Goes to
Hollywood. Next, Megan Corkrey (23, font designer, Sandy) is also a mom. She is
also someone's ex. She just got divorced. Raising her son Rider by herself... is
Gordon: And she decided to go for what she loved to do.
Chico: And today's her birthday. Yay. She "Can't Help Lovin' That Man of Mine"
Now this is genuine.
Gordon: I'm going to disagree here. She reminds me of Frankie, the person we
heard a few minutes ago. Good tone. Decent pitch. Very one trick pony vocal.
Chico: A little trouble with the inflection, but she's genuine. Simon says she's
going to be memorable. This one's easy.
Gordon: It's definitely different and unique and in the words of Simon,
memorable. If she can be diverse in her vocals, she has Top 36 potential.
Chico: Oh yeah. She's THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD. She almost loses her ticket.
Meanwhile, here's a video.
Gordon: That would be a 30 second clip of Kelly Clarkson's new video from her
upcoming new album. Kelly, what did you do to your hair?
Chico: She dyed it... again. You'll have to text AT&T to get the full video...
or you can wait a few and it'll be on Youtube courtesy some ... guy.
Gordon: Yay, some guy!
Chico: And we're still smiling... Because there's a run on gold. A Gold Run, if
Gordon: Andrew Gibson...turns it into pyrite.
Chico: And we hit a block.
Jason: Block. Jason Block
Chico: Next is Austin Sisneros (17, Riverton, HS student) He's a senior class
Jason: Archuleta 2.0
Chico: Right now, he's fixated on homecoming. He's fixated on inspiring. Will he
be fixated on singing?
Gordon: Will he be inspiring like Barack Obama or going down with the ship like
George W. Bush?
Jason: Hey now.
Chico: Heh. He sings "When I Look to the Sky" by Train.
Jason: I love Pat Mohanan
Chico: It's better when Pat did it. Austin's a little bit weak.
Gordon: Tough song to get right. He gets points for difficulty, but I don't know
if the pitch cuts it.
Chico: Randy says, "Not the greatest song."
Chico: He tries another one, "It Takes a Village" by Raffi.... RAFFI? RAFFI?!
Gordon: Better song.
Chico: For him, yeah.
Jason: Yes. But Raffi?
Gordon: Much better song selection. That will get him in.
Chico: The voice still needs a little polish. Randy says yes. Kara calls him
Gordon: The attitude will get him in and get himself cut in round 1.
Chico: Oh yeah. In and out. But for now... THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD.
Jason: Weird ass song choices.
Chico: SLC's starting to crack under the pressure. The shiny happy feeling...
DONE. And this is where Gordon laughs.
Gordon: Ha HA!
Chico: Jarrett Burns (24; Orem; college student) was decent.
Gordon: Jarrett Burns - very good.
Chico: Everyone else... Not so much.
Gordon: For most of these people, It's a classic case of overdoing it. All they
have to do is sing...BELLY DANCER!
Jason: That's hula
Chico: My guess.. hula girl.
Jason: And she is 16!
Gordon: BELLY DANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chico: She's 5'11... with heels.
Gordon: She's in. Make her in. In In In In In.
Jason: Illegal. LOL
Gordon: I'm not trying to have conjugal visits with her. I just want more belly
Chico: Hula dancing.
Gordon: It's dancing. It's using her belly. It's Belly Dancing.
Chico: Heh. She's TALLL. Taylor Vaifauna (17, HS student from Hurricane) sings
'Joyful Joyful' AKA the Ode to Joy from Sister Act 2.
Gordon: Really pure voice.
Jason: Of course with the damn good voice.
Chico: But she needs to just sing the melody. She's got a good instrument on
her. She easily gets THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD.
Jason: Watch out for her.
Chico: I'm certain Gordon will... I mean I will.
Gordon: She's actually a really good choice, because her voice is very malleable
and I think she can be quite diverse.
Jason: I think she will be top 36
Gordon: And I want her to sing songs that requires her to wear a wife beater :D
Chico: Holy statutory...
Gordon: Hey. I didn't say I want her to wear a but Can They Sing Bai Ling outfit
Jason: Give him that. :)
Jason: And David gets a nice check being in a new Romantic Comedy
Gordon: And then an ad from KFC, which is where 26 of the Top 36 singers this
season will end up working in June.
Chico: Finally, we end the day with Rose Flack, a 17-year old. She lives with
her best friend. There's a reason for that. Her father died when she was 13.
It's a touching story. Two years later, her mom died.
Jason: In a car accident.
Gordon: She only has her brother Jonathan left.
Chico: She wishes they were both here. I have a feeling they're watching. She
doesn't want to go back to Idaho without a golden ticket, though. Rose Flack
(17, Rathdrum, ID, HS student) sings "I Feel the Earth Move"
Chico: Amazing voice for someone her age. And she's unique. She sounds
Gordon: I'm going to slightly disagree. Good voice. Not as strong as the others.
Good enough to get into Hollywood. Needs to show a lot more to make it much
Chico: Ideally, this is what the top 36 is all about.
Chico: Still needs a little work, but.. .yeah.
Gordon: I agree more with Paula. She has some work to do to get to the Top 36.
Chico: She has the "it". She's not the best singer, but she has the "it".
Chico: She's THROUGH TO HOLLYWOOD.
Jason: But watch for her too.
Chico: She's joined by a dozen others.
Gordon: She's got an It Factor - but that should not be stronger than her
singing, which is not Top 36 worthy at this stage.
Chico: And Salt Lake City lives up to its moniker as one of the happiest places
on earth. Happy happy...Joy Joy. Okay, this train has enough fuel for two more
stops...NYC and Puerto Rico.
Gordon: Tomorrow... 3 million people who live in NYC...Vs. 300 people who showed
up in Puerto Rico.
Jason: And then next week....Hollywood week.
Chico: 147 people learn that it's ONE thing to go to Hollywood...It's quite
another to stay there. And when props begin to fall, you know it's a show to
Gordon: Join us in 24 hours to see who else goes boom.