"Southwest Coast Region" -
are looking for the Ultimate Film Fanatic in the
Southwest Region this week, and we have some changes.
First of all, although Keith David and Tatum O'Neil are
with us, Henry Rollins is not - instead, we have Ione
Skye. The next change is that hopefully not all of the
contestants will be from Texas. Let's find out who they
Chad Hardigan - (Los Angeles, CA...WHA? More
California?) - Chad, who looks like a cross between
Bruce Campbell and a side character in Revenge of the
Nerds, says that Kevin Smith sucks, Lars Montrere rules,
and he's a self-described pretentious #$$hole. Well,
Chad lives up to his name, as he is the first person who
doesn't get any applause. Well, There's a reason why
they call it la-la land...
Samir Roy (San Diego, CA) - Samir, who is clearly
from Middle Eastern decent, says that he has God Movies.
WHA? Maybe there's something in the water in southern
Ted Wilkinson (North Hollywood, CA) - He looks
like Jared if Jared was 10 years older and went back to
eating junk food. He say that he has had all sorts of
movie experience, but he PAYS for his movies. Well, at
least some Californians have morals...
Tracy Mercer (Mission Viejo, CA) - She looks like
Rosie O'Donnell 10 years earlier and if she went on the
Subway diet 1 year ago. She says that Birth of a Nation
is a racist piece of crap - but required piece of
viewing. OK, she gets my vote.
Jason Coleman (Monrovia, California) - Jason, who
looks like a cross between Rowdy Roddy Piper, Jeff
Goldblum, and Wendy 'Snapple Lady' Kauffman, recites
Piper's 'chew bubble gum and kick ass' speech from John
Carpenter's 'They Live'. Anyone who does that
automatically gets bonus points in my book.
Brandon Thompson (Sonoma Valley, CA) - If Ryan
Stiles was blond, receding hair and 2 feet shorter, he'd
be Brandon, who says he should win because he sat
through Torque. Heh.
We start the First Cut with Brandon and Jason. Damn -
one of the cool people will be leaving in the first
round. The cool people will have to pick from Disaster
Movies, Fake American Accents and Spielberg. Brandon
eliminated Disaster Movies and Jason eliminates Fake
American Accents, which leaves us with Spielberg.
Brandon - What Spielberg movie starred Robin Williams as
Peter Pan and Julia Roberts as Tinkerbelle?
Right Answer - Hook
Brandon's Answer - Hook
Jason - Name the 2 movies that Spielberg won the Oscar
for Best Director
Right Answer - Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan
Jason's Answer - Schindler's List and Saving Private
Brandon - Name 2 of the three movies that Spielberg was
nominated for - but lost.
Right Answer - Close Encounters, Raiders of the Lost Ark
Brandon's Answer - Jaws, and...he doesn't get another
guess as Jaws is wrong.
Jason gets to kick @$$ and chew bubble gum in the next
round. Ted and Tracy get to try to do the same in this
round, as the new category is That 70's Film, which is
what gets to be played.
Tracy - What two John's played Danny and Sandy in
Right Answer - John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
Tracy's Answer - John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
Ted - In what 1979 horror movie did a house tell Margot
Kidder and James Brolin to 'Get Out'?
Right Answer - The Amityville Horror
Ted's Answer - The Amityville Horror
Tracy - What Michael Jackson love song was also the
sequel to the movie Willard?
Right Answer - Ben
Tracy's Answer - Ben the Rat (Accepted)
Ted - In the 1979 film The Jerk, what nickname did Steve
Martin give to his dog?
Right Answer - Sh!thead
Ted's Answer - Dog
Ted is going to feel like a sh!thead as he got it wrong,
while we FINALLY get some female hormones past the first
round for the first time since Episode 1. Could we also
get someone non-white past the first round? We'll see as
Samir and Chad face off with each other, which
guarantees that a weirdo will be leaving us. After
seeing the new category of When Directors Act, the
weirdoes decide to play that category.
Samir - What 1974 Roman Polansky classic movie featured
John Huston as Noah Cross?
Right Answer - Chinatown
Samir's Answer - Chinatown
Chad - Name one Robert Rodriguez movie that Quentin
Tarantino appeared in .
Right Answer - From Dusk Till Dawn (I'm sure there are
Chad's Answer - From Dusk Till Dawn (but Chad came up
with this one)
Samir - In what movie was Curtis Hanson married to a
cocaine-snorting Meryl Streep?
Right Answer - Adaptation
Samir's Answer - Adaptation
Chad - Who killed Nicole Kidman at the end of To Die
Right Answer - David Cronenberg
Chad's Answer - David Cronenberg
Samir - Who directed Adaptation and in what 1999 movie
did he say 'I didn't join the Army to pull paper out of
Right Answer - Spike Jonze and 3 Kings
Samir's Answer - Spike Jonze and 3 Soldiers
We don't get a Middle Easterner in the second round -
but we get a pretentious @$$hole that joins Tracy and
Jason. These three get to spend a little debate time
together - but Chad and Tracy will spend more time
The topic is - Best Actress of all time -
Chad - Audrey Hepburn
Tracy - Sigourney Weaver
Chad says that Audrey is the most beautiful woman ever (WHA?)
who picked interesting roles. Tracy says that Sigourney
was great in her individual movies and was in three
major movies in 1986. Chad says that she is only a big
movie actress, but Tracy rattles off four non big-name
movies she was in and Tracy should win this one in a
Tatum - Tracy
Keith - Tracy
Ione - Tracy
Tracy goes on to the final round. Will a Jason or an
@$$hole be joining her? As we discover that the topic is
Best Comedy Movies of all time.
Chad - Take the Money and Run
Jason - After Hours.
Chad is much better as he talks about what he likes
about the film and discusses the talent of the director,
but Jason is up to the task by discussing the talents of
the actors. They are both equal in their counter
arguments, and this one may be close. Judges?
Ione - Chad
Keith - Chad
Tatum - Jason
Jason had a chance to kick an @$$hole, but he will now
have to do it off of the set. How obsessive are these
people? We go to the obsession round to find out.
Round 1 -
Chad - A list of every movie he has ever seen and
graded, but looking through Leonard Maltin's book,
sorted by actor, director and Academy Awards won - 1,690
Tracy - An autographed picture of Peter Fonda
Based on past history, Chad's movie list should easily
win this first round - and he does (CHad leads, 1-0). We
go to round 2...
Tracy - A framed 1920's picture of Mabel Molly
Chad - A set of Signed DVD's from editors and
This one seems much more of a toss-up, and the judges
agree -but they will give the star to Tracy (Tied, 1-1).
Chad - A painted movie DVD sets - with him and his
fiance caricatures on them for wedding movie table
Tracy - The #1 Issue of Bladerunner, the fanzine and
photographs that she won at a science fiction
The judges decide that....Chad's placards are better, so
he wins the second star and gets to go to the Finals. He
fittingly gets the '@$$' section of the statue. He
thanks everyone, adding 'I am a nerd! All of you used to
beat me up in school and now you're cheering for me!'.
Chad has some...issues.
Next week, 6 more people will have issues, as only one
of them can get to the finals. Join us in 7 days as we
find out who that one person will be.