"Northeast Region" -
Last week, we got the Mid-Atlantic Region out of the
way. This week, we look at the North Eastern Region -
Kevin Compton (Redding, MA) - This guy who sort
of looks like a cross between Boone on Lost and Jerry
Springer with a very receding hairline says that he
loves Chinese Vampire movies. O...K.
Paul Mueller (Arlington, MA) - He says that he'd
rather buy DVD's than food. Judging by the waistline, I
Jason Clark (New Britain, CT) - This bald
African-American has seen Superman over 100 times -
which is over $200 to see a man in tights. He said it,
Skip Montrose (Albany, NY) - He looks like
B-Movie David Keith's younger brother - and he can do a
mean golum (think Lord of The Rings) impersonation. I
don't know if I should be impressed - or scared.
Michelle MaCarron (Compton, MA) - The lone female
in the group has a Pulp Fiction Uma Thurman hair cut
with a Winona Ryder face, adding that as a child she
preferred to be weaned over movies than breast milk.
Nolan Reese (Boston, MA) - He has a 'working'
laserdisc player, so he's going to win. Now, THAT, I'm
After a recap of the rules, we get to The First Cut,
where the starting topics are I've Got a Woody, Gore
Movies and Corporate Whores. Nolan and Michelle are
first. Nolan gets rid of the whores, and Michelle gets
rid of the Woody. No sex, just gore.
Nolan - What Lord of the Rings director also directed
Right Answer - Peter Jackson
Nolan's response - Peter Jackson
Michelle - Name the 1978 sequel to Night of the Living
Right Answer - Dawn of the Dead
Michelle's response - Return of the Living Dead.
Well, that was quick, and the zombies come right up from
the stage to eat Michelle. Well, no they don't, but
Michelle can zombify herself off-stage.
Next up - Skip and Jason. The next category is Behind
Bars. Neither Skip nor Jason go for the sex-referenced
jokes, so Behind Bars it is.
Skip - In what movie does Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery
have to stop terrorists in Alcatraz?
Right Answer - The Rock
Skip's Answer - The Rock
Jason - What actor was drafted by the colts long before
he played Paul Cree in The Longest Yard?
Right Answer - Burt Reynolds
Jason's Answer - Jim Brown
Apparently, Jason shut his brain off after hearing the
first part of the question. He can now shut the TV off
as that's the last we see from him.
Finally, it's Kevin Vs. Paul. The new category is Three
Way Action. Well, now we have to have a sexual reference
in the category, and they decide on Three Way Action,
though we have it with Kevin, Paul and Chris. Ew.
Paul - Who starred as The Man with No Name in the
'Spaghetti Western' Trilogy?
RIght Answer - Clint Eastwood
Paul's Answer - Clint Eastwood
Kevin - What flavor of pie did Jason Biggs have sex with
in the first American Pie movie?
Right Answer - Apple
Kevin's Answer - Apple
Paul - What are the subtitles in all three Lord of the
Right Answer - The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two
Towers, The Return of the King
Paul's Answer - The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two
Towers, The Return of the King
Kevin - What was Eddie Murphy's character in the Beverly
Right Answer - Axel Foley
Kevin's Answer - Axel Foley
Paul - Who were the 2 brothers that created the Matrix
Right Answer - Andy and Larry Wachowski
Paul's Answer - The Wachowski Brothers (acceptable
Kevin - What 2 actors wore the C3P0 and R2D2 costumes in
the original Star Wars Trilogy?
RIght Answer - Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker
Kevin's Answer - Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker
Paul - Who played Hans and Simon Gruber in the Die Hard
Right Answer - Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons Paul's
Answer - Alan Rickman and William Saddler
Ouch. In a tough match, Paul has to leave us. We are
left with three scruffy lanky white guys as we get to
The Great Debate. Keith David, Tatum O'Neal and Henry
Rollins return to judge the debates.
Skip and Nolan gets the first topic - Best Sex Scene of
Skip - Risky Business
Nolan - Desperado
Skip talks about Rebecca De'Horny' and says how it's
better to be on a train. Nolan talks about Selma and
Antonio naked and how hot it is. Skip says that there is
a crack head in the house, while Nolan talk about how
special it was to see Selma naked. I thought Skip was
better, the judges say...
Keith - Skip
Tatum - Skip
Henry - Skip
Nolan gets another shot as he faces off against Kevin.
The subject this time - the Best Chase Scene.
Kevin - Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Nolan - Terminator 3
Kevin talks about Pee Wee going through Godzilla and
Twisted Sister. Nolan talks about how the chase
surpassed the low expectations in the film. Kevin talks
about Tim Burton being on the top of his scene with a
bike chase, and Nolan talks about Arnold Schwarzenegger
at his game. I didn't like either one's debating skill.
The judges say...
Henry - Nolan
Tatum - Nolan
Keith - Abstains due to bad debating on both sides
I agree with Keith on that, but Nolan does advance and
Kevin is gone.
We get to see Nolan and Skip's obsession as we get to
the last contest. Here's the first round...
Round 1 -
Nolan - An advertisement indy of the movie 'Chuck and
Buck' - and one of the quotes were from him as he
interned for a newspaper in Philadelphia.
Skip - Vinyl Albums from Skip's collection including
Alice's Restaurant, Grease, Any Which Way You Can,
Footloose and National Lampoon's Vacation.
The judges decide that Nolan's review that made the
newspaper was fanatical, and he leads 1-0.
Round 2 -
Skip - Pictures of Skip getting off of the boat and
leave from the navy to see The Phantom Menace - which
resulted in him getting 6 months of probation.
Nolan - An autograph from Mel Stewart on his Willy Wonka
signed DVD. Stewart was the director of Willy Wonka.
The judges decide that going AWOL and getting punished
is more fanatical, so the match is tied at 1-1.
Round 3 -
Nolan - Pictures of his rack that he created for over
1,000 DVD's that he has.
Skip - His termination letter from his job as he took
off work to see The Lord of the Rings. Oops.
The award is fanaticism, and Skip, staying with him
losing his job, gets the victory. He gets the regional
win, and he will be gunning for the finals. He thanks
the family for supporting him and his girlfriend for
sitting through all of them. "Getting fired to see
movies was worth it!" We'll see if Skip's issues gets
rewarded in a few weeks. We'll see 6 more fanatics in 7