"Mid-Atlantic Region" -
this year, I FINALLY get the Independent Film Channel,
which means that I FINALLY am able to cover the Ultimate
Film Fanatic Festival.
If you don't know how this works, we start with various
regions. Each region has 6 contestants and they whittle
themselves way down to 1. The regions them compete
against each other, and whoever survives that wins a lot
We start with the Mid-Atlantic Region. The guests are
Keith David, Tatum O'Neil and Henry Rollins. Chris Gore
is your host. Here are your Regional finalists -
Max Katz (from Long Island) - He takes Samulel
Jackson's M.O. - 'I'm a bad mother f#cker.' Well, we
know that the censors are going to be on vacation on
Sarah Stern (Queens, NY) - She's into Breaking 2:
Electric Boogaloo. Ok - I like her already.
Peter Olzig (Manhattan, NY) - He knows about
movies - and seasonal clothing. Can we say
John Girardy (Malibu, NY) - 'If I have to choose
between my hand and a movie, hand me a saw.' Well we
found someone who likes the Jigsaw Killer flick...
George Siroy (Woodstock, NY) - 'I've seen the
Excorcist so many times, it would make YOUR head spin.'
He looks like a 20 year old James E. Cornette.
Becky Rear (Rochelle Park, NJ) - She only needs
two degrees of Kevin Bacon. Heh.
The winner gets $5,000, a plasma screen TV, and a chance
to move to the championship, where you can win another
$5,000, a home entertainment system, and a chance to
host IFC for a day. Sweet.
But since it's only a 30 minute show, we have to start
eliminating people. We start with 'The First Cut', with
Sudden Death Battles. You lose, you leave.
Becky Vs. George. Topics -
Big Screen TV, Fat Brando, Horny Vampires. The category
selected - Big Screen TV.
Becky - What 1991 movie was based on 'Altogether Ookie?'
George - Who played Huggy Bear on Starsky and Hutch?
Becky - Name both TV children's movies with Brendan
Dudley Do-Right and George of the Jungle
George - Who directed the Brady Bunch and what 2002
movie did she direct?
Betty Thomas and I SPY
George is gone. Becky moves on.
Next - Peter Vs. John. Added Category - Jesus on Film.
Category they are playing with - Fat Brando
John - Who lost 100 pounds while Directing Apocalypse
Francis Ford Coppola
Peter - In what 1978 movie did Brando play Jor-El?
John - In what Bertolucci film did Brando have buttery
Last Tango in Paris
Peter - Who played college students Clark and Steve in
Matthew Broderick and Frank Whaley
Peter is toast and gets his ticket home.
Finally, it's Sarah Vs. Max. The new category is Playing
Doctor. They decide to select Horny Vampires, much to
the delight of the audience.
Sarah - In what movie did Gary Oldman say 'I have
crossed oceans of time...'?
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Max - Who played the title role in Van Helsing?
Sarah - WHo killed Salma Hayek in From Duck Till Dawn?
Max - In what vampire movie did Catherine Deneuve seduce
Sarah - Who played Lestat, Louis and Armand in
'Interview With a Vampire?'
Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas
Max - Name the Love Lost and the Director of 'A Vampire
Angela Bassett and Wes Craven
Max leaves - and all of the people who had to get the
second question are all eliminated.
Round 2 - The Great Debate - David, O'Neal and Rollins
judge as the players debate. Whoever wins the most
Round 1 - The best movie villain of all time.
Becky - Hannibal Lecter
John - Leatherface
They talk about the brain capacity Vs. the intellectual
Keith - Becky
Tatum - John
Henry - John
John moves to the finals. Sarah and Becky now debate
Becky - Worst director ever
Sarah - Greatest Director ever
I agree with Becky, who says that she can't sit through
them. Sarah says that they were intense and it forces
you to make you think. Like John, Becky is agreeing with
Sarah. You should NEVER agree with your opponent, and
Sarah should win like John did. Judges?
Henry - Sarah
Tatum - Sarah
Keith - Sarah
Becky is 0 for 2 in the debates, and she is gone. it's
now down to Sarah and John in the final round, called
the Obsession Round. Each person shows off three items
in their collection. Whoever has the best collection
wins the game.
Round 1 -
Sarah - Collectibles on the movie 'Gotcha!'
John - a bust of Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th
Judges - It took a lot to get all of the collectibles,
Vs. the one bust that he got from a friend. Award -
Sarah leads, 1-0
Round 2 -
John - A Leatherface standing from his video store that
he had to wait 15 years for.
Sarah - A collection of 80's Cold War movies, including
Gymkata, and her own movie idea - 'Braking the Ice'.
Judges - Due to the fact that John had to wait for 15
years, they give it to John
Round 3 -
Sarah - A posters of the movie 'Snatch' - but she got it
in Europe, where they called it 'Podf#ck'. She stole it
and carried it around Europe.
John - He went to sneak into a convention and got caught
by Brian James and Tim Thomerson. As a reward, they hang
out for the day and get autographed photos of both of
Judges - In a case of who broke the law, Henry votes for
John - but Keith and Tatum vote for Sarah, so she wins!
Sarah wins the game, gets the statue, and advances to
the championship round. She thanks herself for being a
nerd and loving sh#tty movies. She is congratulated and
we end the show.
My take? This is a fun show, and I like the format.
We'll see how much more of this we get as we see the
second round - next week.