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Semifinals 4 - August 4
 
Chico: Last time on America's Got Talent...
Jason: The Rappin' Granny was the judges choice and Bianca Ryan was the viewer's choice.
Gordon: We also had a little kid, and the end of one crappy reality music show.
Chico: Tonight, the final semi-final round before the final. Who will the judges favor? Who will America send along? What will you do? These questions and more will be answered now... because America's Got Talent!
Gordon: We will find out some of the answers today...and The Wild Card is one of those shows (anything to milk out the cow of success, eh?)
Jason: Moo.
Gordon: But it's time to introduce the milkers. I am Gordon Pepper, the striped Waldo creature. The bald and sexy creature over there is Chico Alexander.
Chico: The shorn and freakish creature over there is Jason Block :-)
Jason: Very shorn. I am practically bald myself. I cant have long hair in 100 degree heat.
Chico: And the Canadian and bespectacled creature over there is Don Harpwood.
Don: Yo.
Chico: One question all around... Hot enough for ya yet?
Gordon: Oh no. Give us some more to add to the 104 degree day we're having here.
Jason: I know what an oven feels like.
Don: It's definitely hot, even up here in Canada.
Chico: Tomorrow, I try an experiment. Actually frying an egg on hot cement. Stay tuned. But right now, get ready, because America's Got Talent tonight!
Gordon: The Millers, Realis, Taylor Ware, Rapping Granny, At Last and Bianca Ryan are all in the finals.
Chico: Question: Who will join them from tonight's group? Here's Regis.
Jason: You can here his voice is going.
Chico: And here are the judges, David Hassel-the-Hoff, Brandy, and...
Gordon: Piers Morgan, like Captain Morgan. Arrrgh.
Chico: Piers: "Do not be mediocre, because we don't want to hear it." Included are magicians, tap dancers, and...hey Gordon, your favorite's on tonight :-)
Gordon: MICHELLE L'AMOUR!!!! HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA!!! YEAH BAAAABYYYYYY!!!!!
Jason: (slaps Gordon)
Gordon: Her first Triple Tease... I can't wait to see it =)
Don: I've never heard of a TRIPLE tease...
Gordon: Are the Quick Change Artists in the group?
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: YAY! Those are my 2 favorites.
Chico: But first, let's see who the judges will put on the stage tonight... And of course, it wouldn't be a deliberation without the requisite judge fight.
Gordon: The judges have to decide who to air and who not to air. We already know what Brandy does NOT want to see air.
Chico: Obviously.
Gordon: Piers wants to put Michelle up at the end of the show.
Chico: Again, Obviously.
Gordon: Brandy is NOT a happy camper, so we know at least one of the acts that will be on =)
Jason: Better for us.
Chico: Yeah.
Gordon: Piers - 'If you're easily shocked, then go to bed early. If not, then hang around.' Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Chico: Oh, checks armed? Xes armed? Let's make a show happen.
Gordon: The Wild Card works this way - The Top 4 acts voted on by the public come back. Each judge also has 2 choices. Piers jokingly comments that David wants jugglers, Brandy wants all strippers to come back and Piers wants Dave the horn guy. Heh.
Chico: On stage tonight first... The Passing Zone! They have something America has never seen before, but will it be enough? We'll find out... after the break. While we break. Tell me... how hot was it outside?
Jason: 100 here in NYC
Gordon: 104 in NJ
Don: Where I'm at, 88.
Chico: It was 105 in the dirty South.
Jason: That's the sweaty south.
Gordon: The sweaty stinky south. You got good roll-on deodorant down there?
Chico: Always. We're back with the Passing Zone, getting ready for the best career in the world... No, not being Gordon Pepper's hairstylist. Juggling!
Gordon: You only wish you had hair as pretty as mine, bald boy.
Chico: They're calling their act tonight... "ginormous."
Gordon: The Passing Zone has decided they want to juggle...people
Don: Wow.
Chico: In spacesuits, mind you, and totally voluntarily... but still...
Jason: Sorry. X
Gordon: This is...dopey. X.
Chico: To Also Sprach Zarathustra.
Jason: WHOOOOOO
Chico: Surprised I knew that? X
Jason: Sorry, my inner Ric Flair came out.
Chico: Oh, now they throw in planets for added effect.
Gordon: And the American Flag and confetti pops out. UGH!
Chico: Little love for Piers as well. Very little.
Jason: How lame was this?
Chico: very.
Don: They're really just pushing them around... Eh... X
Chico: David thinks he just got out of "I Hate Jugglers Anonymous."
Gordon: David thought it was fantastic and restored his faith in jugglers. apparently, he was hypnotized by the spinning people.
Chico: They get a check. Brandy agrees, but she doesn't think it's worth a million. We'll see, as they're checked. Piers thinks they came back creative and original. His problem: saying he likes it. Three checks.
Jason: They won't win.
Gordon: I have a much more serious problem - it's not worth a million dollars.
Chico: I don't think it's worth a million either.
Don: Ditto.
Chico: Nine spots left, 13 acts waiting... another commercial. Another question... "This is not the time to be sentimental?" Who was Piers talking to?
Gordon: Switching over to ABC, we see...George Lopez.
Jason: Not the One. :P
Don: Thank goodness.
Gordon: Switching over to CBS, we see that...Toby, Jill and Dana are in the bottom three as well as Saida and Patrice...they were all in the bottom three at some point.
Chico: Switching to Fox... House :-) And we're back
Jason: Act #2 is....
Chico: Celtic Spring! Aka the Wood family from Ojai, CA. They do Irish dancing and fiddling.
Gordon: We've had cloggers earlier on this season, so why not Celtic singers and dancers?
Chico: Piers didn't like the costuming in their audition. They have since changed. Will it work? "Farewell to Erin," the song. I'd like to say farewell to the Wood family from Ojai, CA. X. The violins are off to start, and the little kid.. not springy enough.
Jason: Sorry I like this kind of stuff. I check them through.
Gordon: I want to like them. I really do. But to like a band, they need to be in rhythm and in tune. Alas, they were neither. X.
Chico: Agreed. Gordon and I agree. This is scary.
Gordon: Aaaaaaahhhhhh
Don: I'm not really a fan of it... X
Chico: Brandy thinks they have family, but she thinks it's a little mechanical.
Gordon: I do think the outfits are better.
Don: Whoa, harsh comments...
Chico: Piers: "The problem: the five of you look great, and play great. How much do you want to win the competition?"
Jason: Wow.
Chico: "You better sack you mom, dad, and little brother."
Gordon: Unfortunately, Piers is right. They are bringing the group down.
Chico: He made the little girl cry. Whoa. Brandy checks.
Gordon: Piers has now made two kids cry.
Chico: And now the little boy cries.
Don: Yipes.
Gordon: Make it...three kids.
Jason: Piers is right, though.
Chico: David checks. Piers... X.
Gordon: The male adult says that it's not worth a million to split up the family.
Chico: True, but this is a competition and the point is to win. Not to be half assed about it.
Gordon: This really brings up For Love or Money
Jason: Of course.
Gordon: And unfortunately, I agree with Piers.
Chico: Same here. They were holding the act back.
Gordon: They have made the tone and rhythm uneven.
Chico: You come out as one. You perform as one. You will meet your end as one. Sorry. That's just the way it is.
Gordon: Meanwhile on CBS, we have someone who missed rehearsal because...she was at a spa.
Chico: Woops. And we're back. Family... still together. Next act... Sean & John! They're tapping twins from Brooklyn. They do it mostly for... the ladies.
Jason: Playas :-)
Chico: Now THIS is tapping.
Jason: Bingo.
Gordon: This is...unsynchronized tapping. And it's also a repeat of what they did the first time around, which is a definite no-no. All of a sudden, Michelle L'Amour's chances of getting into the finals are looking really, REALLY good....X.
Chico: This is what we should've seen from... the Wood family of Ojai, CA.
Jason: Check for me.
Chico: Check me too.
Don: I like what I'm hearing.
Gordon: I don't. They are not on rhythm. As a drummer, if you're going to be off beat, it's going to be excruciating. This is painful.
Chico: Ow.. that look like it hurt =p
Gordon: And you can't flub a stunt and expect to advance.
Don: Yipes.
Chico: Piers liked them the first time... and he likes them tonight. Check! David: "You're exactly what this show is about. Finding new talent from the street and taking it to the next level." Check. Brandy agrees. Check three!
Gordon: I'm sorry. It was just not fluid for me.
Chico: Well, you can't expect it to be diamond, but hey, it's really really amazing to watch.
Gordon: It was good. It was not million dollar good.
Jason: They still rock for me.
Chico: Next.... Lilia Stepanova.
Jason: YES!
Chico: If you remember, she had a secret.
Don: I remember that.
Chico: If you remember, she was a contortionist. If you remember, she could take your head off with a bow and arrow with her feet.
Jason: And look smoking hot doing it.
Gordon: Now how can she top what she did last time?
Chico: Blindfolds! Just guessing. But whatever it is, it's going to be a stretch. Hi-yoooo! She's incorporating a little dance in the routine. Edge of the bullseye.
Gordon: Just like that last time, she used her feet to hit a bullseye.
Chico: Next up... touching her toes with her fingers... via her back. That's hot..
Jason: Way hot.
Chico: She's hot.
Don: Wow.
Gordon: And I'm wondering, though impressive, how exactly did she ratchet up what she did last time?
Jason: She didn't. Still hot.
Chico: Incorporated a dance.. but still she gets checks all around. Except for Piers, who wants to see something different. He checks.. with reservation.
Gordon:
Well....I agree with Piers. She did almost the exact same set last time. What else can she do? X
Chico: It's what we call a pastry around here.
Don: I still liked the act, but yeah, I agree that she needs to do something different if she gets another chance.
Gordon: I hate to say this, because I thought that I was going to be saying this with tongue firmly in cheek, but if Michelle L'Amour raises her game, she may be the best performer of the night.
Chico: Bite your shiny daffodil tongue.
Gordon: Seriously, and let's take a step back here and be objective. None of the acts have been impressive or original.
Jason: That I agree.
Gordon: The tappers are arguably the best we've seen so far, but they weren't in time or did anything original, either. And every other act has had a visible flaw. What if Michelle is the best and the judges have no choice but to advance her?
Don: I'm not sure if Brandy would allow that, but who knows...
Chico: That's a longshot. We're back with Regis sitting next to Gordon's wife now. :-)
Gordon: That's my future wife, baby. And for the 5 people who still care about Rock Star, Dana has been Tommyhawked form the show.
Chico: Next... David Smith, the one man sideshow!
Gordon: They allowed the guy who bent his legs around his head to come back?
Chico: If you remember, David Smith played the guitar and sang "Bend Me, Shake Me"... while bending his legs behind his head. Today's song..."The Masochism Tango".
Gordon: I do love The Masochism Tango.
Chico: Next up, he and ... a very leggy friend... sing and play with fire.
Gordon: And eat it.
Chico: Did we mention that a bed of nails is involved?
Jason: OUCH
Chico: And a brick?
Gordon: And a sledgehammer?
Jason: Sounds like my last party.
Chico: And whipping roses.
Gordon: And walking on broken glass. Correction. THIS is the best of the night.
Chico: As you can see, it's rather macabre.
Gordon: But in this case, it's the best of the evening. CHECK!
Chico: I LIKE IT!
Jason: Yes.
Chico: It's different, I'll give'em that. Brandy: "Are you okay?" It didn't blow her away, but still, she checks.
Gordon: It didn't blow Brandy away...child, what are you watching?
Chico: Piers calls him an acquired taste, and pulls a Pepper: "The problem is, I didn't acquire it." X
Gordon: Piers didn't acquire the taste either.
Don: That was certainly interesting...
Gordon: Meanwhile, David jumps on the broken glass in protest. I can't see how the public votes this through, but it was entertaining.
Chico: The Hoff doesn't know what he's watching, so he watches.. an X.
Gordon: This was by far the most entertaining of the night for me. Is there anything wrong with me?
Chico: You want the long answer or the short one?
Gordon: Either or.
Jason: Sick puppy you are.
Chico: Short answer: yes. Long answer: Hell frickin' yes.
Don: Before the commercials, they keep managing to mention Michelle L'Amour. Gee, I wonder why...
Chico: Tease :-)
Gordon: Yeah baby...you know you want to watch...you know you want to gaze at the beauty of the naughty snow white. The question is...what Disney character is she going to dress up as next?
Jason: Poking Hantas.
Gordon: Apparently, my pervertedness is spreading.
Jason: Heh.
Gordon: I was thinking the little clothes wearing mermaid barmaid, but that works.
Chico: We're halfway done. Passing Zone juggled... people. Celtic Spring almost sprung a leak. Sean & John tapped... Lilia Stepanova did her thing... and Dave the One Man Sideshow mutilated himself.
Gordon: And Dave was by far the most entertaining.
Chico: Five spots remain.
Jason: Dave first, Sean and John 2nd
Chico: Agree with the Block. Remember you can vote by phone, SMS text, and at NBC.com. Next up.... Quick Change!
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: This is gonna be good.
Jason: Here we go.
Chico: David & Dania have spent 10 years as an act. Perhaps more ... acting :-) They say they have new things in store. Let's see.
Gordon: Hmmmm.... I haven't seen any new things yet.
Chico: They're changing to "Shaft", by the way.
Gordon: Ok. the music is new.
Jason: They still rock.
Chico: The change is... she did all of the changing.
Gordon: The final dress is new. Everything else is the same.
Chico: But still... rockin'.
Gordon: I hate to do this but.... you have to have a different act, and they didn't do it. X.
Chico: Piers: "I wish every woman could change a dress that fast. It's a bit like Groundhog Day today. What else can you do?"
Don: Yeah, still a neat act, but more of the same...
Chico: I have to agree with everyone. It's pretty cool, but again, it's the same old same old. Piers gives them a vote of confidence, though. David says they're up there with the top magicians. Check from him.
Gordon: Sorry. This is for a million dollars. We go after the comedians in Last Comic Standing for using the same material, we'd go after the singers if they sing the same song every time, so you have to go after them for using the same act.
Chico: Brandy says that they're the best at what they do. But they have to change the outfit a bit. Har har. Check.
Jason: I am sorry. They are the favorite.
Chico: Agreed.
Don: Yeah.
Chico: But they are the favorite right now. I mean, how many times has someone been railed for using recycled material?
Gordon: You can't award someone a million dollars for doing the exact same shtick for three straight times.
Jason: Tell that to the rappin Granny.
Gordon: At least she used a different rap. Granted, it was still awful, but it was different.
Chico: Who's next... George Kelly!
Gordon: Who?
Chico: He's a singer that was edited out of audition. He looks like Ace Young with a haircut.
Gordon: He looks like a young George Michael combined with Ace Young.
Chico:
And he sounds like Andrea Bocelli.
Gordon: He calls Hasselhoff 'DH'. Regis talks about hanging out with Ricky Minor. Does that name sound familiar?
Jason: He is the band guy for AI
Chico: He performs "You Raise Me Up."... Meekly. X
Gordon: His vocal tone is raising up my threshold for pain. X.
Jason: He is horrible.
Gordon: This is....painful.
Chico: Very nasally.
Gordon: He is on pitch, but the tone is awful. This is the wrong sort of song for him to be singing.
Chico: Go back to Andrea Bocelli. Please.
Don: Yipes. X
Gordon: He should have stuck on opera.
Chico: That. Was. Horrid.
Jason: XXX
Gordon: I need Michelle to comfort me from the pain. Please comfort me, Michelle.
Chico: Brandy thinks she has a beautiful voice, but was better the first time. Check.
Gordon: Michelle is making part of me raise up.
Jason: PUT THAT THING AWAY!
Chico: Piers: "You got that romantic look. Lots of good young singers. You are the best adult singer we've seen on this show." Check. David thinks he has a magnificent career ahead of him, but the performance was lacking heart.
Gordon:
There must have been a lot of real bad adult singers.
Chico: Are we watching the same show here? Three spots left... seven acts left... Gordon is here like a puppy pining for Michelle L'amour.
Gordon: Pant pant pant pant pant
Chico: Heel.
Gordon: whimper.
Chico: Don't make me hit you upside the head with George Kelly's voice again.
Gordon: No not that. I'll be good, daddy.
Chico: Heh. Next... Gordon's future wife.
Gordon: YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
Jason: Oh boy.
Gordon: WHOOOO HOOOOOOO
Chico: Michelle L'amour's a burlesque dancer by trade... Which explains everything.
Gordon: She gives classes on this stuff.
Chico: Last time, she was a piping hot Snow White..
Gordon: Now...can she do something different and better than last time?
Chico: She starts with... KITT.
Gordon: KNIGHT RIDER!!!!!
Chico: Oh, doggit...
Jason: Oh yeah!
Gordon: CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK
Chico: Yeah, kid, cover your eyes.
Gordon: She's taking her clothes off while splicing David Hasselhoff and other people's text from the Knight Rider series. Brilliant! And she splits while wiggling her buns.
Chico: And she ends by taking her bra off and throwing it at... Brandy?!
Brandy: "This is not the right size... X"
Gordon: Brilliant! CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK
Jason: LOL
Gordon: Brandy says that it's not what the show is about. Sure it is!
Chico:
I have to agree with Brandy. That's not talent. That's just... that's just ... that's just... what the hell is that?!
Gordon: That's talent and you know it. David wants to see her across the street
Chico: I bet.
Jason: ;P
Chico: And in the crowd, BTW... Piers' sons. "Something inside me died. You and I could've had a great future, but after that... X"
Jason: Oh well. That was fun :-)
Gordon: I WILL be calling in for Michelle.
Don: I'm not surprised.
Chico: Only ten times, G.
Gordon: Regis hands Michelle her clothes
Chico: Excuse me, I'm going to have a cigarette now.... X. By the way, kids... Smoking is bad.
Gordon: What does Block and Don think?
Jason: I am drinking a water bottle,.
Don: I'm afraid to make any comments...
Jason: But X.
Chico: Amen. That's not talent... that's just dumb. Be brave, Don.
Gordon: You kidding me? That was AWESOME! It's much more creative than anything else we've seen tonight.
Chico: David Smith was pretty creative. I'm sorry.
Gordon: Michelle and David were the two best acts of the night so far. She was clever. How can you not give her props for the Knight Rider skit?
Chico: She wasn't doing anything but currying to the judges. That act, creative as it was, reeked of desperation. That was an act of a desperate woman.
Jason: But it was fun. Not a million dollar winner.
Gordon: Was there anything more creative tonight than Michelle?
Chico: David Smith.
Gordon: Besides David. Of course she won't win the million. But she was by far the most entertaining.
Chico: Can't say for sure.
Jason: None of these acts are the big winner.
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: Michelle, if you're reading this, e-mail us. We'll be glad to put you on WLTI...and my bedroom wall...
Chico: Maybe the next act will help. It is... King Charles Unicycle Troupe!
Gordon: Unicycles. Should be fun.
Chico: They've been compared to "Harlem Globetrotters on unicycles." And for good reasons. They have talent, and they use it to help the young people.
Jason: Weren't they in the Ringling Bros at one time?
Chico: I don't know. It's been a while since I've been to a circus.
Jason: Boring. X
Gordon: Uh...the objective of this it to put the ball in the basket.
Don: Um, yeah, it would help if the ball went in. X
Gordon: Bring back Michelle. Please. X.
Chico: You have to admit.. it's better than the Master of Champions unicyclists... but still that was tame. Brandy: "That was the sloppiest thing I've seen on America's Got Talent." X. Me too... X
Gordon: Brandy says that it was sloppy and stuff was missing. I agree.
Chico: That was messy. Not tight at all. Piers says it went horribly wrong. "Go home, you had your moment." Check. What? David thought it was a trainwreck, but one with potential. Check.
Gordon: I'm sure the 4 acts that don't get on will be grumbling at the Troupe and wondering what the heck happened
Chico: One spot left.... tomorrow, along with results, we'll see some polished talent from Cirque du Soleil.
Jason: Nice.
Chico: Should be fun.
Gordon: So 9 acts down. How do you rate this bunch?
Jason: Terrible to be honest.
Don: Not good.
Chico: Bring back the momma from Beetleborgs.
Gordon: At the beginning of the night, I thought this was going to be the hot group. Boy, was I ever wrong. If Nathan Burton the magician was in this group, he wins this in a walk.
Chico: Totally.
Jason: Yes.
Don: Indeed.
Jason: This was 2 hours I never get back
Chico: But this week... Gah, what happened?
Gordon: But it wasn't a total loss. We got to see....Michelle =)
Chico: Gordon, put your pants back on.
Gordon: Honestly, Michelle could sneak off with the audience vote.
Chico: She could... but there's no way in hell that she'd win.
Gordon: Just to see her get in the finals would be amazing though, no?
Chico: not with the likes of Taylor Ware in the final fold. Amazing to watch? Yeah.
Jason: Sean and John or Quick Change will be the judges vote.
Gordon: What if she came in second in the audience vote and made the Wild Card round...or if David brought her back?
Chico: We'll see... last chance goes to... Desperation Squad! Yeah! They come from Pomona, CA... And they're a punk band.
Gordon: And the juggler does not get to argue with the judges. Awww.
Jason: This is going to suck balls.
Chico: "We want to make rock'n'roll crazy again." I'm all up for crazy. Let's do this.
Gordon: They have songs with lines of 'You Suck' and 'Welcome to the Drunk Fest'. I have a feeling that I am going to be in pain after this one.
Chico: The song is called "Band."
Gordon: The four acts that didn't make the stage must have been awful. X.
Chico: Desperation Squad ... is right. X
Jason: Advil please. X
Don: Ick. X
Jason: Sean and John make it in.
Chico: I'm all for crazy, but it has to be good crazy... Bowling for Soup, for example.
Gordon: Michelle's chances are getting better and better.
Jason: I switched the channel.
Chico: Judges call?
Gordon: So the lead singer and hitting buzzers and wearing a panda head. Brandy is praying to make this end.
Chico: David: "I'm sorry I didn't put the juggler through." David...pushes.
Brandy.... X.
Gordon: Brandy says that she does not take responsibility for either Michelle or this band.
Chico: Piers: "You look like you got rabies."
Don: Ouch.
Gordon: They want to win the award for loud and annoying. They get it.
Chico: They can HAVE it. So while we listen to Bowling for Soup (which is actually the second name of the band. First name was Bowling for S(^_^)), we're going to take a break while the judges deliberate.
Chico: So panel.. who gets the judges vote?
Jason: Sean and John.
Gordon: Michelle!
Chico: The Judges vote, Gordon, not yours.
Gordon: Seriously, Sean and John will get the vote. I have to say though that the audience vote is going to be up for grabs - and not for the right reasons.
Don: Yeah, Sean & John seem to be the clear choice.
Gordon: I can see Quick Change or Lilia...or even Michelle getting in.
Jason: Quick Change should get the audience vote.
Chico: Okay, we're back. All 10 acts are back on stage. David says that the singing was awful today, and Piers challenges him to get on stage and sing tomorrow. Challenge ACCEPTED!
Jason: YES!
Don: Whoa!
Gordon: The wailing that you just heard was my eardrums screaming and running for cover in the bathroom.
Chico: The Hoff sings tomorrow. You're going to want to tune in for that. "Maybe". Oh, come on, David... You know you want to. "I'll think about it."
Gordon: Of course he will.
Chico: Meanwhile, the judges have put through to the next round... PASSING ZONE!
Jason: Say what?
Gordon: The winner was...Passing Zone?? Wha?
Don: Wow. I didn't expect that.
Chico: They were fresh, they listened to criticism and they acted on it.. So yeah, they're off to the final. The other nine, they're going to have to work for it.
Jason: Then Sean and John should easily win.
Gordon: I will give Piers props for that and they did follow with changes and
Sean and John did do almost the same act as last time.
Chico: One more time, Celtic Spring... Sean & John... Lilia Stepanova... Dave Smith the One-Man Sideshow... Quick Change... George Kelly... Michelle L'Amour... King Charles Unicycle Troupe... and Desperation Squad.
Chico: Tomorrow, one of these acts will make it to the finale.
Gordon: How many votes do I have...
Chico: 10.
Jason: There you go!
Gordon: But I can call on different phone lines! yay!
Chico: So while Gordon clogs his cell, phones, and NBC.com, we're going to wait for the results tomorrow. See you then!

---

Last night on America's Got Talent, the final group of semi-finalists did their thing. But who will earn the favor of the people. The live results show, with special performances by Cirque du Soleil's Zumanity and our own David Hasselhoff, starts right now!

Who'll join Realis, Taylor Ware, The Millers, Bianca Ryan, At Last, Vivian "Rappin' Granny" Smallwood, and Jon & Owen the Passing Zone in the finals? We'll find out in a moment, but first... David, Brandy, Piers, and Reege have some unfinished business to take care of...

"The Brit challenged me, and I never back out of a challenge. YES." So it's confirmed, David Hasselhoff will sing tonight.

After a quick recap of last night, Jon & Owen return to the stage with a bit of a act demonstrating the three tenets of teamwork: set a common goal, trust each other's abilities, and don't freak out when your butts touch.

Now let's bring out the rest of last night's acts. Now let's cut three. Desperation Squad, Dave Smith the One Man Sideshow, and King Charles Unicycle Troupe... are the bottom three. They're out.

Next up, Crazy Caliber Talent... four talents with musical bodies. First, the Great Stamen Show from Bulgaria, the only man in the world who can play music with is teeth. Second, Skyler Aud, who sings... while breathing in helium. Next, Sammy Pryor, who can play by ear... literally. Finally, Alexis & Alicia, who'll do a duet of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"... with belch. Charming. Who's the best? Time to ask the audience... and the winner is... The Great Stamen Show! We'll see him in the end of the season, when he has a chance to win a Dodge Caliber.

Next up, comedian/actor/weird dude Tom Green and a skateboard. Through a ring of fire. Will he survive? Yes. And now he's on fire.

Next, Cirque du Soleil's Zumanity, an act of circus acts with a seductive twist. They have contortionists, singers,  and acrobats who hoop it up from 20 feet in the air. It's seductive, it's amazing, it's... over way too soon.

And now, it's time for some results. First, the two acts with the highest votes. The judges wanted to see something new from Lilia and the Quick Change. George was the best adult singer they saw. The placer from that group of three is... Quick Change!

Next, Sean & John were complimented... but they're not in the top 2. It's between Michelle and Celtic Spring. Brandy says that Michelle wasn't talented, and Piers wanted to split Celtic Spring up. Joining Quick Change is... Celtic Spring!  Family... still together.

By the way , America's Got Talent is looking for acts for its second season. Go to NBC.com for more details.

Meanwhile, Brandy says that America made the right choice. But Quick Change is going to have to make a quick change if they want to win. But enough of that. Going to the finale is... CELTIC SPRING!

Next week is the Wild Card, featuring... Bobby Badfingers, All That, Carina Bruder, Natasha Lee, Nathan Burton, Quick Change David & Dania, Naversity, and Leonid the Magnificent. Which two will join the finale? Find out next week at 9:30p ET.

Meanwhile, singing us out is the Hoff with "Jump in My Car". And there's his car right now. It's... it's exactly what you think it is, both with the singing and the car. More million dollar talent next time. See you then.

 

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