Semifinals 3 - July 26 (with added coverage for the now-departed
Gordon: As a wise old Chinese
Proverbist says, 'You Must Take the Good with the Bad'.
Jason B.: I see.
Gordon: The good...we will be recapping America's Got Talent.
Jason B.: The bad?
Gordon: The Bad...we will also be recapping....wait for
Travis: The Wha?
Don: Is that a joke?
Jason B.: How are we going to do both?
Gordon: We have done this before when we split screened Deal
Or No Deal and American Idol. Joining us on this quest for
enlightenment, we start with the home of Leonid the
Magnificent, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason B.: Yo.
Gordon: Next up, the home of J. D. Fortune, Mr. Don 'The
Don: I wish I had talent.
Gordon: Finally, the home of Katharine McPhee, the newly
placed Mr. Travis Schario.
Travis: I have a talent...but I can't talk about it in this
Gordon: But first...the bad...
Gordon: George Snuffleupagus says that life-changing moments
have happened since the end of the show. The show starts
with...5 minutes talking about everyone's agita. One of the
singers says that she placed in the bottom three because no
one watched the start of the show...no comment.
Jason B.: Wow.
Gordon: Aubrey and Nick have an off-stage romance, Aubrey
shined. Nick...not so much. The singing so far has
been...mediocre, which leaves me pining for Rock Star.
Gordon: If these are the Top 12 they could find, then they
need to get better talent representatives. Nick now has a
surprise for Aubrey...he has a kid from his girlfriend - the
one that he neglected to tell Aubrey about. Oops. A crying
Aubrey goes away, and if Nick isn't gone this week, he will be
next week. It's now a private time with the singers. Nick
didn't want it to come out.
Oops. Ok. I've had enough of this for now...
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
Jason B.: The 14 returning contestants from AGT come back for
the next semi-final round.
Gordon: I'm glad that they are announcing the Top 14 instead
of leaving them all hanging
Jason B.: They are giving them their 5 minutes.
Gordon: Of course, some of these acts are going to have a
MAJOR disadvantage, because they are going to be seen for the
first time (Vs. some that have already had time in the
Travis: That may play well, though...Acts that haven't been
seen will be considered fresher than the acts that have seen
Jason B.: The judges eliminate 4 through rehearsal
elimination. We won't know who those are, however, until the
end of the show, after all of the acts have been announced.
Gordon: We get to see the Ten people who get to perform, a la
Jason B.: The buzzer has been modified to have a check or x,
while the list of results have been been presented to Regis
Gordon: The Donald gets to personally fire 4 people.
Jason B.: The Donald exclaims, "Stop Dressing Like Me"...his
talents: making money, buliding buildings and "The
Apprentice.". He gets X'd by the judges and "fired" by Regis.
Back to the acts. The first to perform is...Team Acrodunk.
Don: They say they're planning to show something we haven't
Gordon: All of these things being done by members of the WNBA
Jason B.: Woo-hoo.
Gordon: We have double trampolines, balls on fish hooks, and
guys sitting on the top of the basket
Jason B.: And a blast through a banner. Team Acrodunk is hot.
Don: That was awesome!
Jason B.: Mild Check.
Travis: I guess I'll just wait three hours to see the cool-ocity.
Jason B.: All three judges check them.
Gordon: Back to The One. There was an aura of negativity after
the show. Scotty is trying to jump rope in hopes that the
public will see him work out. They decide to all autograph a
guitar and give it to the person who leaves. Cheery, no?
Gordon: Nick says he has to man up and do what he has to do.
If Idol ever does this sort of thing, I will NEVER watch the
Jason B.: Idol will never do this crap.
Don: That's just a weird way to decide who's going home.
Gordon: George promises more on the story later on in the
show. The bottom three are revealed by the audience, then the
three judges will vote to save one of them. The final vote
comes from...the other remaining contestants, as each of them
vote one out.
Jason B.: That's about as confusing as the NFL Tie Breaker.
Travis: No no...NFL makes more sense.
Gordon: I never thought I would beg a station to ship one of
their own to the internet, but I may be begging now. Nick...
is safe and hugs a not-so-safe Aubrey, who looks like she'd
rather be eating glass than spending another week with Nick in
the house. Adam, Kaitlynn and Aubrey are inthe Bottom Three.
Adam wants to have fun. Aubrey wants to rock it. Kaitlynn
wants to turn it up. I want to turn it off. Does anyone want
to share the misery of watching the three
singers croon for their lives on ABC?
Jason B.: Hell no. Suffer in silence.
Gordon: This is like the minor league version of American
Idol. The set is very schlocky, crossing the worst parts of
Rock Star and the original preliminary Idol set. George
Snuffleupagus is nowhere as fluid as Ryan Seacrest and
actually makes Brooke Burke sound good. Who'd believe that?
Travis: Say Quois?
Gordon: Let's get out of this misery for a moment...
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
Jason B.: And we are back on AGT...and act #2 is....Kaitlyn
Taylor Love...12 yrs old from Arlington TX, singing "One
Moment in Time" from Whitney Houston. She is off key. X for me
Gordon: Sorry Kaitlynn, you are off-pitch constantly here and
it's not your time. X.
Jason B.: Piers becomes Simon and toasts her. Act #3---Sonya
Li. She is from Detroit and an electric violinist.
Gordon: Oooh... pretty pink violin. You realize that she is
playing an excerpt from Carmina Burana. One of my favorite
pieces of all time.
Jason B.: Sonya...Good...but not good.
Gordon: Not always on tune, but very good.
Jason B.: Mild Check Piers hated it. David and Brandy check
them. But David isn't sure she will make the finals. Sonia
plays the theme to drive Piers nuts.
Gordon: She plays the theme from America's Got Talent out.
Gordon: Adam is up to sing first. The judges want him to sing
out as he does Bob Marley's... well, I know it's 'I Shot the
Sheriff', but would not have known what it is because I can't
understand the lyrics. He can't hit the high notes and Kaitlyn
Taylor Love sounds like Whitney compared to this.
Don: *Switches to The One; hears Adam's singing; switches
right back to AGT*
Gordon: He did sound better than last night, but it's like me
saying that the screeching cats sounded better than 3 car
alarms played at the same time.Jason B.: I have heard the
passion of cats outside my window...that's much better than
Gordon: And with AGT on commercial, we can all listen to
Kaitlynn singing and George and the judges prattling. Mark
Hudson, Andre Harrell, and Tara D'Aguardia give their
thoughts. I hate to say this, but Rock Star judges are more
insightful. I can't believe that I am praising Rock Star.
Someone help me.
Jason B.: (hands Gordon Hemlock for after the show)
Gordon: As The One's Kaitlynn sings 'Barracuda' from Heart. I
am looking for her to hit some semblance of pitch. Still
Jason B.: Horrible.
Don: I think I need earplugs.
Gordon: Would you rather hear Sonya or Caitlynn?
Jason B.: Sonya.
Gordon: I want to see Bai Ling again. We now move to Aubrey
Jason B.: This guy looks like a fat Vince Vaughn.
Gordon: Which guy?
Jason B.: George Snuffleupagus
Gordon: Aubrey, after hearing Nick's news, destroys a guitar.
Jason B.: lovely.
Gordon: Her song - I Love Rock and Roll by Joan Jett and the
Jason B.: I Hate her singing.
Don: I've heard better. Much better.
Gordon: So what if she screwed up the lyrics. She's actually
on pitch...sort of.
Travis: Hate the singa, not the song.
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
Jason B.: Next Act...Elliot Zimet. He is a hip hop magician in
Gordon: Can he outdo the bird tricks from last time? So
far...no. He pulls out more birds, a cage and replaces the
birds with a...big female bird. Sorry. I liked his first set
Jason B.: Sorry. I am giving you the bird. X
Gordon: Seen if before. Seen it done better. I wanted
something done better and something that would have topped his
last performance., I didn't get it.
Don: Shoulda done something different instead of... more
Jason B.: The three judges X him.
Gordon: Piers thought he wanted to be Justin Timberlake. Piers
says that the only thing that went flying is a million bucks.
I have to agree.
Gordon: The judges tell Adam that he needs to stay in tune.
Uhh...shouldn't that be a prerequisite to get on the show?
Travis: You'd think.
Don: It should be... But apparently not for this show.
Gordon: We'll spare you the rest of judges prattle (which
means absolutely nothing) as they decide to save...Caitlynn??
Jason B.: Huh?
Don: I'd like to know how those judges were chosen to be
Gordon: That leaves Aubrey and Adam. The contestants vote to
see who sticks around. If they vote on who should stay, it
SHOULD be Aubrey, but if they want to get rid of the drama and
competition (as well as the storyline), then they will save
Adam. We'll see who the lemmings save after...
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
Jason B.: Next act on AGT...Ten13Concept.
Gordon: At least the lead vocalist will feel right at home
with the singers from The One. X.
Jason B.: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones did this better. Ugh. X
Jason B.: And Brandy, Piers and David X them.
Gordon: Piers says their music can be a hit in Germany. I
think you'd be insulting the Germans.
Travis: ...or David
Jason B.: The only person who I see going through so far is
Gordon: Back to The One. Caitlynn and Nick vote for Aubrey.
Everyone else votes for Adam. So advancing is...Adam???
Gordon: So the best singer of the three goes home and there
goes your plotline out the window.
Jason B.: pretty much.
Gordon: They end this with a brutal rendition of 'Don't Let
The Sun Go Down On Me'
Gordon: Aubrey gets the guitar of doom and a funeral still of
Aubrey. Thoughts on the Final Number?
Don: I need to clean some blood from my ears after hearing
that last performance on The One.
Gordon: And we move on to the final hour of America's Got
Talent as my ears attempt to recover.
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
Jason B.: Next--Vivian Smallwood--the Rapping Granny from
LA--she is 73. (C-Note: If the name sounds familiar, she was
on a couple of TV shows such as "Everybody Hates Chris" and
"Big Bad Beetleborgs").
Gordon: This was awful the first time I heard her. Can we
bring the One Back for the next 5 minutes?
Jason B.: X...she dont have skillz.
Gordon: If my ears weren't injured before hearing the final
song of The One, they are now. X.
Jason B.: They all Check her.
Gordon: Brandy says that she has a shot of winning the
competition. Unfortunately, I think she's right.
Jason B.: so do I.
Gordon: Who wouldn't vote for a 73 year old rapping granny?
Don: Good point.
Gordon: The history of the American Voting Public has voted
for worse talents to win competitions.
Jason B.: That is for sure. 4 more acts to go.
Gordon: And quite honestly, with the exception of Acrodunk,
none of the other acts this evening have shown much. I could
see her get in the finals
Don: Against what we've seen so far, it definitely looks
Gordon: Piers is praising the Rapping Granny. I need some
Jason B.: Nathan Burton is the next act. Las Vegas comedy
Gordon: Magicians have so far been zero for one tonight.
Nathan brings out 4 girls for Piers, then he gets into a cage.
They unveil a poster of him, shoot it at the judges, and then
Nathan shows up behind them.
Jason B.: Not bad.
Gordon: Nathan Burton may have a shot at being close to Lance
Burton. Me likey.
Jason B.: Me likey too.
Don: That was cool.
Jason B.: All three check him through.
Gordon: Piers says that Nathan impressed him and raised the
bar. I have to agree.
Don: At this point, I'd like to see Nathan in the finals.
Gordon: How much you want to bet that Bianca Ryan is the last
Jason B.: I would put the house on it...Well...Bianca is
Gordon: Well, there goes Jason Block's house.
Jason B.: Ha.
Travis: If you ship the house out here, I'll take it.
Jason B.: She is 11 yrs old.
Gordon: Now, my biggest concern was that she would be a one
trick pony. She decides to go Rock with 'Take Another Little
Piece of My Heart'
Jason B.: By Janis Joplin.
Gordon: Good. Not as good as last time. That could be
Jason B.: Could be.
Gordon: Well...Who am I kidding? The judges will put her
through if she doesn't get the popular vote.
Jason B.: She is better than anything on the One or Rock Star.
Gordon: Then again, The Rapping Granny is better than anything
then The One or Rock Star. The judges all agree with us, and
they say that maybe she's not a lock this time. Piers tells
Bianca to tone it down. Brandy is visibly shaking her head no.
Jason B.: She will be in the finals.
Gordon: I do agree with Piers that she needs to improve that
song selection. I think she is behind both Nathan and the
Jason B.: I disagree. I would put her 2nd behind Nathan. Then
Acrodunk and Granny.
Gordon: I definitely think those are your top 4 and a HUGE gap
between them and everyone else.
Jason B.: Two acts to go....
Gordon: Next up...Kenny Shelton, the juggler who screwed
Jason B.: Alpine, CA.
Don: You're kidding...
Gordon: Kenny gets a massive reprieve, saying that if he
fails, he fails, but he says he did it.
Don: I wouldn't have expected David to allow this.
Gordon: Regis allows the fire department to show up for
Kenny's act, which I'm guessing involves something flaming.
No, not Lance Bass.
Jason B.: LOL
Jason B.: YOW!
Gordon: We have flaming golf balls (though he did use gloves),
then flaming torches,
Jason B.: Now he does 9 of them.
Gordon: Cute. Been done before. Not worth a million. X.
Jason B.: Good, but not great. X
Gordon: Piers...gives him a check?
Jason B.: So does David. And Brandy completes the Trifecta.
Gordon: The judges give him a check for not having anything
falling into the audience and killing anyone. Kenny gets his
closure...and I'm guessing that's all he's getting.
Jason B.: Pretty much. One act to go.
Gordon: Kenny wants you to vote for him because he didn't drop
Jason B.: And the last act is....
Gordon: Trey Knight's Stilt World. 6 people dancing on Stilts.
Jason B.: Do you know the music Gordon?
Gordon: Can't say I do. Can't say I'm impressed either. X.
Jason B.: And someone fell. Kiss of Death. X
Don: Ouch. X
Gordon: At least it wasn't the person with the flaming torches
so that the fire department didn't have to come out.
Jason B.: David is the only one who checks them through. So
the top 4 for me....Nathan, Bianca, Acrodunk, Granny.
Gordon: Trey defends it by saying that they would never sit
down for 3 hours and then have to perform immediately. I would
agree with hiim...but...they have to perform for television.
My Top 4 - Nathan, Acrodunk, Bianca, Granny.
Don: I'd have to say Nathan, Acrodunk, Bianca, Granny for Top
4 as well.
Jason B.: Who do you think the judges will put through?
Gordon: I would have to say (groan) the Rapping Granny
Jason B.: Yuck.
Gordon: You can't spiel about the Granny and then not vote her
in. I think that Nathan was the best, but the Granny won the
hearts and is a sucker to win this.
Jason B.: And all the acts come out for a bow.
Gordon: The judges have voted in....The Rapping Granny.
Jason B.: Of course. Now....who does America choose?
Gordon: Who should - Nathan Burton. Who will - Bianca.
Jason B.: Should Bianca...Will Bianca.
Don: I'm hoping for Nathan to go through.
Gordon: We get the list of numbers, and that ends the show.
For Don, Jason and Travis, this is Gordon Pepper, thanking you
for reading about the best...and the worst...of the evening.
The next evening, the viewer's
results were given... and Bianca Ryan is off to the finals.
Joining her, Realis, At Last, The Millers, Taylor Ware, and
judge's favorite from last night, Vivian "The Rappin' Granny"
More talent next week.
A singer, an actor, and a journalist are in
search of million dollar talent...
This is what they find.
Recaps by Chico Alexander, Jason
Block, Don Harpwood & Gordon Pepper, GSNN
Judges: Brandy, David Hasselhoff, Piers Morgan
EP: Simon Cowell, Ken Warwick, Cecile
Frot-Coutaz, Nigel Hall
Packager: Syco TV,
FremantleMedia North America
Origin: Paramount Studios, Los Angeles
Wednesdays at 9:00pm ET on NBC
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