July 31, 2006

Chico: An Iron Chef with Iron Balls... :-)
Gordon: We are back, and with people coming and going, we need to see where they are all going to.
Chico: It's all so confusing.
Don: Indeed.
Gordon: So what are we going to do about it? Make it even MORE confusing! Yay!
Chico: Hooray confusion, hooray infiltration! Where do we start?
Gordon: We start this way...

We all know that Meredith Vieira is going to have a lot on her plate when she goes to the Today Show. Let's say that she does leave Millionaire. Who would you want to see replace her?

Chico: OOH! ME! ME! RIGHT HERE! HERE! SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS! RIGHT HERE!
Gordon: Silly Panamanian.
Chico: But barring that, get Regis back. Look what he did for NBC this summer.
Alex: I'd love to see Pat Kiernan personally.
Gordon: Paaaat Kiernannnnnzzzzzzz
Chico: All this is moot, of course, since Parade Magazine reported last week that Meredith is staying put :-)
Gordon: What about Alex Trebek?
Chico: Pat Kiernan is good at reading for Michael Davies. And Alex Trebek is contracted to Jeopardy until 2010.
Alex: He has that dry sense of humor and good hosting ability that I love. I want to hear how he is with excitement, though. He reminds me of a NewsRadio era Dave Foley.
Chico: Even looks the part, strangely.
Alex: I know. That always amuses me. He is a terrific person. He's someone I'd want to hang out with, lol
Chico: So I take it you're a fan of the World Series of Pop Culture, then, Alex
Alex: Actually, no. I find it incredibly boring and easy for what the tryout tests were.
Gordon: What about...Tom Bergeron?
Don: I could see it happening.
Alex: I can't picture him doing a serious game show like this. I could see him doing something like Pyramid, but just not Millionaire.
Chico: Actually, it's not a bad idea. And he's in the ABC fam as it were, so it would make it easy. You know how versatile Tom Bergeron is, right?
Gordon: We do. Next one...

So we can't salvage The One. Was there any way to save it if there was anyone else besides George Snuffleupagus hosting it?

Chico: ... no.
Don: I doubt it. I mean, that show was just... ick.
Chico: No. Just... no.
Alex: No
Gordon: I think you could have found a better host. The only problem is that I don't see one who was not already contracted.
Chico: Here's a thought, though.
Gordon: ok
Chico: Get Ryan Seacrest to host it... replace the panel with an experienced panel... take out the house scenes.... change the set... put it on Fox... wait until January. I swear the kids will LOVE it.
Gordon: I'm guessing you get a judge that says Dawg, a female choreographer that sings and a cranky Brit too?
Chico: But of course.
Don: That just might work!
Chico: Oh and take out the thing about the players voting each other out.
Ryan Seacrest failing... Ben Mulroney. I gotcherback, Don.
Don: No prob.
Chico: It's all about... respect.
Gordon: Next one...

Rocco Dispirito (remember him?) is back on Reality TV. How would you like to see him as an Iron Chef?

Chico: I wouldn't.
Don: I can't remember who that is...
Gordon: He's the guy who starred in the Burnett Flop, The Restaurant
Chico: I can see him challenging Batali, though. Tetsujin would still win, though. Sorry.
Gordon: I think he'd be entertaining, but with not much success. Next one...

The new people for Celebrity Fit Club 4 are...Ted Lange, Carnie Wilson, Angie Stone, Bonecrusher, Nick Turturro, Tina Yothers, Vincent Pastore and Erika Eleniak (Yes, THAT Erika Eleniak). Who should be joining them?

Chico: George Wendt?
Alex: Sure
Gordon: Why not ad another Cheers alumni - Kirstie Alley?
Chico: Except she's way past that level of competition. She'd have an unfair advantage.
Gordon: Next one...

Last week, we reported that Boston Rob Mariano pitched a show about him trying to be a pro poker player. How would he do if he was an invite to Poker Stars Invitational 4?

Don: Wouldn't go far.
Chico: He'd get hosed.
Alex: Hopefully by Jennifer Tilly
Gordon: I think the Unabomber would have an issue with that.
Alex: J Till is my favorite celebrity. My friggin band is named after her (The Tillies).
Chico: A band named the Tillies.
Gordon: Do the Tillies give you the Willies?
Chico: Scurrred me :-)
Alex: I think Gordon has the sillies.
Gordon: Tee hee hee. Last one...

Heidi Klum. Uber babe. Babe of Project Runway 3. Do you think she could handle either the punk rockers in Rock Star or the Punks in the Big Brother House?

Chico: She's more of the BB type. She is European after all.
Alex: Sure
Chico: Rock Star... bad a show as it is... is 100% American... created by a
British dude. Not Heidi's speed. Even though, you know, she is married to a
Rock Star. You want to talk about irony of ironies.
Alex: It has to be an American show. The band sucks.
Chico: Glad I'm not the only one that noticed that Metallica didn't have a
hit since they went all commercial on us. Napster was for the people, man.
Gordon: and with that, we are done infiltrating.
Chico: Next train to Whammyville leaves... after the break.

(Brought to you by Starface... because in America, first you get the game show... then you get the power... then you get the women.)

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