Travis: Ouch.
Jason: Indeed
Travis: You just hit me with an ACME Dowel.
Chico: Assright =p
Travis: ACME Dowels sure are strong to stay intact after meeting with my concrete skull.
Chico: We're back on WLTI. This is We the Jury time, all rise for the semi-honorable Gordon Pepper...
Gordon: Order in my court! (Bangs the Dowel on the table)
Chico: Powered by ACME dowels.
Jason: Ham on Rye.
Joe: Western Bacon Cheeseburger, please.
Gordon: Here's how this works. I'll give you people and the charges that they are accused of. You say if they are guilty or not guilty and pass sentence.
Chico: Speedy and fair justice. Let's go!
Jason: Hang'em Gordon.
Gordon: First case....

CHARGED: Trista Rehn.

Jason: Uh Oh.
Chico: The charge, your semi-honor?
Joe: Yes, let's have it.

Charge - Overexposure. We've seen her get rejected. We've seen her pick a husband. We've seen her get married. She's been on Dancing With The Stars. She's going to be on Batle of the Reality Stars. Is this too much? Or maybe she's the reason why all of her shows are hits?

Chico: GUILT!
Joe: Guilty.
Jason: Guilty of overexposure.
Travis: Guilty.
Gordon: ok - Guilty she is. The sentence - to be on The Surreal Life 6 with Paris Hilton, Mario Vasquez, Corey Clark, and the rest of the people that we wish would go away.
Joe: ROFL

Gordon: Next Case.

CHARGED: ABC

Chico: Charge.

Accused of - Animal Cruelty by trying to revive a dead horse. The Bachelor is coming back and ABC wants both male and female contestants for the show. Is enough enough? Or is there an audience for another edition?

Chico: Enough is enough. Guilty!
Joe: Guilty.  The Bachelor = teh suck.
Travis: Guilty.
Jason: Guilty--Glue Factory.
Gordon: What a mean jury you are this week! I love it. I'll let you decide the punishment.

Chico: The sentence: having Teri Hatcher talk smack about you behind your back.
Jason:  Ouch.
Joe: ROFL.
Chico: And then being stranded on a deserted island with this year's cast of "The Real Gilligan's Island"
Jason: RIMSHOT!
Chico: And the dude from Lord of the Rings.
Joe: I'd rather just smack Teri Hatcher's back...side.
Travis: Hey now Joe.  Get in line.
Gordon: Will she be singing on Celebrity Idol anytime soon?
Chico: How the hell am I supposed to know? Next case?
Gordon: Next up...

CHARGED: The media people everywhere -including us

Chico: Oh we're SO guilty :)
Travis: Dude, I'm guilty.  But I'm not gonna say of what.
Joe: :D
Jason: We are all guilty of something. Uh oh.

The charge - jumping to conclusions.

Travis: Well, Chico and I just jumped before the charge, so I'd say Guilty.
Gordon: Almost every media group, including us, was set to praise the coming of Bo Bice and bury Carrie Underwood's career. Suddenly she's number 1 on the pop charts. Were we all a bit too hasty on passing sentence?
Chico: Okay, I'm going to say guilty, because part of running this site is holding ourselves accountable, and I'm holding myself accountable. On the other hand, I reserve judgment until we see Bo's CD out.
Joe: GUILTY! (even though I SUPPORTED Carrie). Bo Bice Sucks.
Jason: Innocent.
Chico: That chart is next week. So we can't judge yet.
Gordon: I agree with Chico's thinking - so a suspended sentence on the lot of you.

Chico	Joe	Jason	Travis	Gordon

Chico: So I'm guessing... hung jury.
Jason: Well Hung :P But yes.
Joe: Boooooooooo.
Gordon: It's A William Hung Jury.
Travis: Eww.
Joe: Gah.
Chico: Next case?

CHARGED: Big Brother

The charge -  Accused of, and I quote, 'a modern-day embodiment of biblical values'

Chico: You'll have to explain that one.
Jason: Please.
Travis: Yes, please.
(big board lowers again)
Gordon: This is from Andy Duncan, the new chairman of Channel 4 (the UK home of Big Brother), who defended the show from Christian activists by saying the following...
 

Big Brother in the Sky

"Big Brother winners are all role models in their way; not only because over past series they've included ethnic minorities, a gay man and a transsexual as well as an evangelical Christian - but because in the final analysis viewers choose people whose values they identify with and admire. For many viewers they offer positive examples and practical inspiration for their own lives, and that's something I'm certainly not ashamed of."
 

Gordon: ok - Next one...

CHARGED: LMNO Productions

Jason: The charge?

The charge - Exploitation. Based on a true story, LMNO is pitching an idea that would allow 1 person to bet their whole bank account and life savings on 1 game. They choose the game, but they have to bet everything on it. Is enough enough already or are we actually going to want to watch this?

Chico: Double or Nothing? 
Gordon: The game is called, yes, Double or Nothing.
Chico: Guilty.
Jason: Not guilty.
Joe: Guilty.
Jason: I would watch the stupid person who would do this. Not guilty.
Joe: I wouldn't. Guilty.
Gordon: Joe?
Chico: Guilty.

Gordon: ok. GUILTY. The punishment?
Joe: Sentence: THE PRODUCERS lose all their money when their gamble fails.
Gordon: lol - ok. LAST one

CHARGED: GSN. (Sorry, we have to make fun of them somehow - we've been too nice)

Joe: :-D
Chico: Charge?

The charge - possession on an illegal substance, which is what one of them must have been on when they have given us DODGY THE DODGEBALL MASCOT! What say you?

Joe: Guilty!
Chico: Guilty!
Jason:  Guilty!

Gordon: The sentence is that...they have to smoke Dodgy! YAY!
Joe: ROFLMAO.
Chico: I was hoping for firing squad. =p
Gordon: And with that, court is out of session. (pounds dowel on table)

(Brought to you by the GSN Ball Emporium!  We have Dodge Balls! We have Lingo Balls! We have Cue Balls! We have Bobbing for...get your mind out of the gutter, people! Chico, Where's that Dowel?)

Chico: Okay, no time for a proper BIG finish, so we're going right to viewer mail. And what a viewer we have this week.
Joe: MAIL TIME!
Jason: Hooray Mail
Chico: In my hand, I have mail from none other than J. Keith Van Straaten!
Gordon: WHOO!
Jason: Oh yeah!
Chico: Apparently, he's a fan. Thanks for writing, J. Keith :)
Joe: WHOOHAH!
Gordon: What's the mail, Chico?
 

Jason: Thanks for the love J. Keith.
Joe: Indeed.
Gordon: Thanks Keith!
Chico: And thanks for the pictures. They're really spiffy. Okay, Gordon, I gotta go. Wrap it up for me :)
Gordon: We'll be back here next week, when we find out if J. Keith accepts our invitation to be the guest for next week, or if we have another guest. For Chico, Joe, Jason, Alex, Paul and Travis, this is Gordon Pepper, saying until next time....
Joe: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME OVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!
Chico: The buzzer is out!
Gordon: Match Game and Out!
Jason: GAME OVER.........and what else Joe?
Joe: And spread the love, my friends.  :-D

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