February 14, 2005
Gordon: The winner gets to be the
new Doctor Who?
James: If you do pass the test...don't do what I did in the
Chico: What did you do?
James: Let's just say....I cut a promo on Ken Jennings
Chico: Oh dear. I was just going to tell them about how me and
my a cappella group perform one of our ditties in our boxers.
Jason: Cant bust on the man.
James: Hey...I played against Jennings in QB and lost...I
Chico: Okay, before I go any further, I advise you all to open
up Windows Media Player and head to the Video Wall.
Joe: Oh deah...
Chico: Okay it's time once again to open up the Video Wall for
a little bit of trivia in a game we call... !
Travis: Oh no...
Chico: Oh yes!
Travis: Back by less-than-popular-demand...
Chico: It's either this or another round of Take-a-Side =p
Mike: Us WLTI semi-virgins are in for a treat, no?
Ryan: Are we playing Spring?
Chico: We're playing Spring.
Chico: So we need four judges to judge alongside Gordon.
Chico: Travis, Jason, Ryan and... Mike. So take your places
alongside the high-arbiter of worthless knowledge, Chairman
Gordon: I am the chairman. Worship me.
Travis: Kiss my (blank).
Gordon: I am the arbiter of whrt...WHA?
Mike: You're apparently high, too.
Jason: How does this work?
Chico: okay, to explain, I will give a bit of trivia that
actually happened, and you judge from 1 to 10, how many !s it
gets. Then I show the corresponding video, and you add another
Ryan: sounds good
Gordon: So if you wanted to give it a 5, you would go !!!!!
Travis: Five factorial!
Chico: Think of them as "Hey's"
Jason: I did this before.
Mike: 120 heys
Travis: Mike knows his maths. :-)
Mike: I better :-P Do we award a golden brain...with the melon
bread inside that looks like a brain?
Chico: Golden Buzzer.
Mike: With the melon bread inside....gotcha
Chico: with the melon bread inside that LOOKS like a buzzer.
Travis: Who stole the UFL trophy?
Chico: Okay, if you're ready, Travis, Ryan, Mike, Jason,
Gordon... Here's our first bit of trivia.
A MIME AUDITIONED.... FOR AMERICAN IDOL.
Chico: Wow, really stingy with the !s, are we?
Gordon: Why, Simon Why??? One !
Chico: So far, 8 !s. Now let's take a look at the video. "Mime
Time" it's called.
Gordon: Can I play the role of Captain Americus and throw a
dodgeball at her?
Chico: You can.
Travis: Please do...
Gordon: One Dodgeball and One !
Jason: This is bad.
Travis: I award no additional bangs.
Jason: But I give her credit.
Mike: Wow. She's an embarrassment to all of Cleveland's
Ryan: *curses slow internet connection* :-)
Travis: For what? Being another novelty act on a show that has
Travis: No, I was asking JasonB that...
Travis: Sorry, Mike.
Rob: this clip was just bad.
Jason: She made it interesting. At least she showed some
talent...and knew she was a novelty. The clip was horrible.
Mike: AI has gone from a true talent contest to everybody and
their mother trying to make an ass out of themselves.
Travis: This is AI, NOT Body Language!
Gordon: Mike, you're from Cleveland. Is it in the water?
Mike: I drink the water! And I'm reasonably fine :-P I'll toss
in a few !!
Gordon: Do you have the urge to put on bodypaint and perform
for a cranky Brit?
Mike: 1. I'm too old 2. I wanna keep some dignity :-P
A MIME AUDITIONED FOR AMERICAN IDOL... 12 !s (and one
Mike: Oh heavens, I need some Advil after that file...
Travis: Mike's from Cleveland; he's biased...
Mike: Not really. She sucked. But without the makeup, she's
probably not too bad looking
Chico: While Mike gets some Advil, we go to our next trivia.
Gordon: (takes off the make-up...) It's KRISTEN from The
A WOMAN LOST $200... ON A QUESTION ABOUT DWARVES.
Gordon: She's trying to get on another reality show!
Travis: No bangs.
Mike: Lost $200 on dwarves? That's small change! !!!!!!
Travis: Wait till you see the clip.
Gordon: She's a cute Llama Mama though. !!!!
Chico: So far, 13. Let's take a look at the video.
Travis: Not only did she muff the question, she was flat wrong
in her explanation.
James: Ah...THAT woman.
Travis: Capra wasn't the Wizard of Oz, I think.
James: Frank Capra's spinning in his grave. Walt Disney's
spinning in his cryogenic chamber at Cinderella Castle.
Travis: So, a whopping donut from me.
Jason: 0--bad bad bad
Travis: Wait, I want to eat the donut too. Nothing.
Mike: It's another case of someone's mouth being 5 seconds
ahead of their brain.
Gordon: I like Krispy Kremes, so I'll stay with the donut.
Travis: I wonder if somewhere in Europe, an Eberle met up with
a Cowell... Back in the 1700s or something.
Chico: That depends. How many black shirts do you own?
Travis: I'm wearing one of about a dozen now.
James: Anyone have her address...I need to send her membership
to the WWTBAM Llama Club
Travis: She missed a so-easy-it-hurts-question. No sympathy.
Mike: As I said, if she thought it out instead of jumping to a
final answer, she would've got it. I do feel bad for her, but
she controlled her own destiny.
Travis: Too bad for her. No money. Rack 'em, C.
Mike: I give her one pity !
Mike: Just one!
Travis: IT SAID 'DWARVES' IN THE FECKING QUESTION!
Mike: Oh come on. She's not that bad looking :-P One !
Travis: (breathe in, out, in, out)
A WOMAN LOSES $200 ON A QUESTION ABOUT DWARVES. 14 !s.
Chico: Now that we're all warmed up, here's our next trivia.
FLIP-FLOPS... ARE WORTH $100,000.
Jason: !!!!!!!!!! 10 baby.
Mike: They must be diamond-encrusted... !!!!!!
Travis: One bang for the lucky spin, and one for the photoshop
Jason: I saw this live time. I did the recap.
Gordon: You give too many !. WOF HOme Boy
Ryan: Hey! Don't diss the wheel!
Jason: Not for this...this was great...roll the clip.
Gordon: It was good though, !!!!!
Chico: Hmmm...23. Let's look at the video.
Travis: They did pick some good letters...
Gordon: That's nice - but no more ! from me.
Travis: Crumbs, that would have been more memorable if they
MISSED it. Note that all of the confetti goes upstage, and not
over the winners/Pat.
Jason: No way Travis...there have already been 2 misses...
Mike: There were also 9 misses last year
Travis: I mean that they had almost the whole puzzle revealed.
Jason: Travis...are you always this cranky? :-)
Travis: No, but I come off that way. :-) I stick with my 2
Jason: !!!!!!! more
Mike: I wish our good friend Cory Anotado was up there...
Gordon: Playing the role of Rob as the fan boy for this round
Mike: Then I could get a loan from him. :-P !!!!!
Travis: That would have been a 10-er.
Jason: Absolutely :-)
FLIP-FLOPS ARE WORTH $100,000, 35 !s.
Travis: No worries, chicken curries, my man.
Chico: Next up...
A GEORGIA SOUTHERN STUDENT... WANTS TO BE... THE NEXT BOB
Jason: saw this live too. !!!!!
Mike: Who doesn't? !!!!!
Travis: I withdraw any bangs that I might ever use in doing
this bit for all eternity, and give them to this guy. TEN,
Gordon: Eh. !!. One ! for each showcase.
Travis: Was this a DSW episode or something?
Chico: So far 22... Let's take a look at the video... and no,
Travis, it wasn't.
Travis: Mmm. Well, I give the guy my other 10. He had the
spiel down pat.
Gordon: You give out too many !, TPIR Homeboy.
Jason: !! extra
Gordon: Its interesting to see who is biased towards what
Mike: Wow, he got onstage in a hurry.
Jason: He ran.
Chico: He flew.
Mike: I know. Wow, it would've taken me at least 20 seconds to
Mike: Sorry, I aspire to be the next Roger Dobkowitz!
Joe: I prefer to be Jack Barry myself.
Mike: I'd like to have Barker's money. Not his lawsuits
Chico: Hmm... Interesting tway to go about that
Mike: I want Seacrest's looks and his signature line "KLAUSS
Gordon: Whats the total, Chico?
Mike: He was enthusaistic, a bit nervous...
Rob: just imagine if someone with the last name of wipe said
Mike: I give him another !
Rob: Wipe, Out
Chico: Waiting for Pepper.
Gordon: One more !
Joe: I for one want to show up at an American Idol taping with
a sign that says "Seacrest Phears Todd Newton."
Gordon: Travis took all of mine - all gone
Chico: All gone? No mas?
Gordon: He used up all of my !, that skank.
A GEORGIA SOUTHERN STUDENT WANTS TO BECOME THE NEXT BOB
BARKER, 36 !s.
Chico: One more...
BEFORE TAKING ON FAST MONEY, A PROFESSIONAL ICE SKATER ...
TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF.
Jason: I dont need to see that...!
Mike: I refrain from voting - I haven't had dinner yet
Gordon: These clips on this show have been...underwhelming. I
give it a !
Mike: Roger, what's the record for least Heys for a video
clip? *Roger holds up 2 fingers* Didja ever notice anytime Bob
asks if something's happened on TPiR, Roger always says 2?
Joe: *Roger holds up middle finger*
Mike: That's my Andy Rooney-esque commentary for the night.
Chico: I'm almost afraid to show it right now, but here goes.
Let's take a look.. at the video
Jason: 0 more. Not good.
Rob: Thank god my WMP had an illegal operation and had to shut
Gordon: I give it no more ! - but I throw in a monkey butt.
Travis: You also don't stick the Canadian guy in to answer
questions asked of 100 Americans...
Ryan: Easy! We've watched Family Feud for years up here! Or at
least I have... :-)
Chico: We know you have, Ryan.
Travis: David just seemed like the wrong guy for FM. I'm sure
you would get 245 points all by yourself. Ryan.
Ryan: Thanks :-)
Mike: Wow. I wish I could take back my !
Travis: I offer up an anti-matter ! to pulverize Mike's
Rob: We should throw in a Dumb Answer of the Day trophy for
Gordon: What's the total?
Mike: Tell Roger we might've set a record.
BEFORE TAKING ON FAST MONEY, A PROFESSIONAL SKATER TOOK HIS
SHIRT OFF, 2 !s (and a Monkey Butt. What's Up, Monkey Butt?)
Travis: TWO? IS THAT ALL?
Chico: Two. It's time for... The Golden Buzzer! With the melon
bread inside that looks like a buzzer.
Travis: Oh, man alive; that's a Platinum Buzzer...easy.
Gordon: And where does the golden buzzer go to?
Mike: Blame Gordon and Jason for those 2!
Chico: Done and done. But first, the Silver Buzzer for the
trivia that Gordon liked the best.
Mike: You know, if it was Jamie Sale taking off her shirt, we
woulda hit 100 ! immediately...
Chico: Yep. Because we're sad like that =p
Mike: And she's hot like that :-P
Rob: that's why i hate valentines day
Jason: I love V-Day--its my birthday!
Chico: Happy birthday, Jason!
Ryan: Happy b-day!
Rob: happy birthday
Jason: thank you.
Chico: Gordon, still waiting for your Silver Buzzer pick
Gordon: I liked the best....the Llama Mama!
Travis: I thought it was whoever got the most Gordon!s. BOO! I
move for a summary veto.
Chico: You can move for a summary...
Gordon: Would you prefer I change it to....the Bare Chested
Travis: MY EYES! NO, JESUS, MY EYES!
Chico: *starts throwing melon bread at Gordon*
Travis: Hey, if you want the Llama Mama, it's your pick.
Gordon: I want the Llama Mama
Jason: Thats ok
Travis: There you are then.
Chico: Now to recap.... Stripping skater... 2 !s and a Monkey
Idol... 10 !s and a Dodgeball.
Gordon: Make my Dodgeball extreme, baby.
Chico: $200 Dwarves... 14 !s. $100K Flip Flops, 35 !s.... And
today's winner of the Golden Buzzer, with 36 !s... A GEORGIA
SOUTHERN STUDENT WANTS TO BECOME THE NEXT BOB BARKER.
Jason: Very nice.
Ryan: Good choice, gentlemen.
Rob: you win the prize... you take the cake
Chico: That's !. Next up, one of you is going to play doctor.
Only Gordon and I know for sure...
Travis: I nominate me again.
Jason: I didnt bring my underoos.
Chico: And we're not saying until... AFTER THE BREAK.
Travis: Or, whoever you pick...
(Sponsored by the Wheel...Of....Contender Time Slots! It's
on Thursday... no Wednesday... no Sunday! Stop the wheel and
find out when it's actually going to air!)
HERE to continue