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Episode 30.4 - Red Hot Summer
June 25
 Gordon: And if they don't know what that is, I'm sure they'll Figure It Out.
Chico: Saw that too. :-) Welcome back to WLTI. Thanks for being a part of our
week and allowing us to be a part of yours.
Gordon: Welcome back to the show of Rhyme and Reason - if you were to read us 40
years ago.
Chico: So what do we have, G?
Gordon: We have some percentages. And I'll start it off.
We make fun of it but...what's the chance that someone other than a singer wins
America's Got Talent this year?
Chico: 33%. It'll happen sooner or later. America's getting tired of singing.
And this is coming from a singer.
Gordon: 0.069% You got nothing good enough this seasno. The time to get lucky
was last year.
Chico: So imagine how I feel. Wait until the YouTube show. There's your winner
right there.
Gordon: Doubt it. next one?
Chico: Next one.
Figure It Out 2.0... BEAST. What's the percentage we see season 2?
Gordon: Well it picked up 13 million viewers this week, so I'm guessing, without
a pure drop...99%
Chico: I'll go 99.9%. It's a show that brings the family together at a time when
the family gets together.
Gordon: True. Next one...
Let's go to Jeopardy. What's the % that Alex Trebek does the Farewell Tour next
season?
Chico: What is 5%? Alex could decide to bow out with a year left on his
contract, but, keeping it real, why would he and why should he?
Gordon: I agree, but I'm going to go higher. 30%. There could be ailments down
the way we're not aware of - like another heart attack, etc.
Chico: Right. Next one...
Glass House... what are the chances that it finishes its run?
Gordon: I knew this was coming. The good news about putting it in a low time
slot is that it can suck and no one will care (assuming anyone cares now). 69%
Chico: 0.86 percent. I'm going to say it again... one month. GONE.
Gordon: I still think it makes it through. Next one...
We haven't seen Top Chef; Kids yet. What are the chances wee see it?
Chico: 22%. It's been on the docket since ... I don't know, 2007? If it hasn't
happened yet, it's not going to.
Gordon: I'm going to go a lot higher. 89%. Kids are the new black.
Chico: Let's hope so. The Hub isn't getting any better and Nick is running out
of spots for all of it's big stuff.
Gordon: True. next one?
Chico: Finally..
Family Game Night was renewed... then cancelled.... and now it's renewed again.
What's the percentage that season 3 actually airs?
Gordon: 40%, because I don't know if there will be a HUB around should the show
be air-ready. If there is a HUB, 85%. It's one of their big shows.
Chico: 75% And if the Hub stops airing, they'll just put another Discovery-owned
rerun haven in its place (see Planet Green/Destination America)
Gordon: True. And that's the percentages for this week. We get all snappy right
after this!
Chico: I've got my black turtleneck and my bass.
(Brought to you by All-AMERICAN GRITS WRESTLING. FORGET JELLO! FORGET MUD! You haven't seen anything unless you've seen women roll
around in grits! Now coming to a town near you.)
 Gordon: ...I feel dirty.
Chico: You should. Filthy McNasty.
Gordon: Tell me you wouldn't watch
Chico: ... we're not talking about me. :-)
Gordon: Mmmhhhhmmmm... Poetry time. What do you got for me?
Chico: Start with an easy one. Got this for ya.
Haiku on... figure it out.
Gordon:
Green Slime Everywhere
Only a matter of time
Until we see Gak.
Chico: I heart gak. Come on, Nick. You have the set. You can make this happen.
Bring on Double Dare. Sign me to host. :-) Next?
Gordon: Next up...
I want a 8 line poem on the virtue of proper betting on Jeopardy
Chico:
You wanna play a quiz show...
You can't just know facts.
Think about the metagame.
Think about the math.
Carry the ones carefully
And you're in the big dance...
But Bet too big...
... and you end up getting pantsed.
Gordon: I'm going to go look for mine while you give me the next one
Chico: TMI, dude. TMI Gordon...
A ballad... about being a non-singer on America's Got Talent
Gordon:
I dance for the masses
It's not good enough
I dance light ballet
I dance to any stuff
And when I wonder
how the world thinks I did
Nick Cannon comes over
and says, you're out, Leonid
Gordon: I think Jason Block penned that one.
Chico: He's gonna kill you. :-)
Gordon: If they catch you, they will kill you, but first they must catch you,
prince of a thousand enemies...
Chico: Nice. Next?
Gordon: Next one...
Give me a sonnet on why Total Blackout is better than Dating in the Dark.
Chico: I need a lute.
Gordon: Gladly (plays Lute)
Chico:
Fun in the dark is oft to be had
But never with the mating...
Feeling around without getting mad.
Challenges better than da-ting
Blackout.... Blackout... Don't stop til you ID it alll...
Safer to say, it's better to play...
Especially with my.... ....dating...
Especially with my... lute.
Gordon: I had to stop in the middle. The lute was starting to get sticky.
Chico: EW?
Gordon: Hey its YOUR lute. Next?
Beat Poem! Your subject... Hell's Kitchen.... and why the chefs suck this year.
Gordon: (starts snapping)
Chico: *plays bass*
Gordon:
Picture if you will, Dante's inferno. It's not that the chef are just this bad
this year. they are this bad EVERY year. The fact is that we, the viewers need
to be taken to a different, darker, deeper level of hell each season, because
each season must be worse than the one before. And hence we have not just the
chefs are bad, but they are demons in nature. Dante would be proud of these
chefs as they are in an all new level - but the ratings are oh so heavenly.
Chico: ..... Revolution. *plays final note*
Gordon: I have to get the moth seraphs out of my head.
Chico: You do that while you get me one more poem.
Gordon: Finally...oh Chico.. you will LOVE this.
Chico: Which means I won't.
Gordon: It's Song Lyric Time!
You are going to write a love song to Emily Maynard (we haven't done anything on
her this week, and yet, I feel I am compelled to) using the same pentameter of
Justin Bieber's 'Baby'. 'Boyfriend' just sucks too much to use it.
Chico: You're kidding right?
Gordon: Oh deep down inside you love it.
Chico: (Shakes fist at Gordon)
I love you Emily, you know I care...
If you need someone, I will be there.
Someone to stare at so vacantly...
I want to talk about you and me, but you're like...
Ricki, Ricki, Ricki, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Ricki Ricki Ricki OOOOOOOOOOOOHH
Ricki Ricki Ricki....
I'm not dating your kid... *Chair toss*
Gordon: I was touched by that.
Chico: In a dark place?
Gordon: I can see you and Emily racing together on a NASCAR track.
Chico: Just because she's four hours away from here.
Gordon: Go get her, tiger!
Chico: I will.. But first, I need money. Time for a break! Speed Round right
after this!
(Brought to you by the Great Escape Routes. Teams of two will have to figure out
how to get out of a Ford Escape. Let's see... Open the door... Step outside....
Game over. I win.)
Gordon: I think it needs to be really interesting - like the Ford is
half-submerged in a lake of piranhas.
Chico: That works.
Gordon: Speed Round also works...NOW! AGT: Give me someone making the Top 48
Chico: Mary Joyner.
Gordon: I'll go with Lightwave Theater (The Electric Light Brigade).
Chico: Hell's Kitchen. Who's about to get burned?
Gordon: Does it really matter this season?
Chico: No.
Gordon: There you go. The Glass House: Does it become the most expensive
internet program ever by this time next week?
Chico: Nope. That still goes to Pirate Master.
Gordon: For now. Jeopardy - we seeing our new championess have a long reign?
Chico: Nope I think the ship sailed with David Menchaca.
Gordon: I don't think she makes it to Wednesday. Any email?
Chico: Why yes. This is from Adam508
VIEWER
MAIL |
“ |
Adam508
Recently, I read the 2011 year in review and know just how you feel about our
version of Israel's Still Standing, called "Who's Still Standing". I hate the
way they ran the show myself and wish this show could be revived because it had
a great format. I, as a concerned viewer, find it incredulous for the producers
to focus more on the gimmicks and less on the game, the thinking viewers would
enjoy the gimmick. I've never seen any other versions worldwide, but am
confident that those versions spend more time on the format and less on the
gimmicks, yet we Americans are paying an unjust price by being manipulated and
falling victim to what appears to be a pointless performance rather than a game.
If you're asking me whether the format deserves to be revised here in America,
my answer is 100% yes, and when it does get revived, then whoever produces it
needs to spend more time on the game and less time on the gimmicks. I don't know
if you've noticed but every primetime game show in the United States has been
nothing but BS gimmicks and I'm sick of it. I wish there could be a way to end
it all once and for all.
Bottom Line: Who's Still Standing deserves a revival with more game and less
gimmicks. |
” |
Gordon: Thanks for the e-mail, Adam. For the record, I just wanted to say we did
edit this because due to space considerations, but thanks for the well written
email. If anyone else wants to write an email, where should it go?
Chico: wlti@gameshownewsnet.com, Or follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook.
View us on YouTube, etc. Special thanks to you for reading and and Adam508 for
the email and... well, that's it.
Gordon: Next week: We get down and dirty on AGT and we see if there's going to
be a Glass House to recap.
Chico: Or if it's bulldozed. Until then, for everyone at GSNN, he's Gordon, I'm
Chico. The show is WLTI. Game over... and spread the love.
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