Episode 21.3
June 22

Chico: You will puke.
Gordon: Flashbacks of a bad childhood memory?
Chico: I had a bad experience.
Gordon: Did it involve a kaleidoscope?
Chico: I HAD... a BAD... experience.
Gordon: Wheel of Reversal of Fortune?
Chico: I HAD... A BAD... EXPERIENCE.
Gordon: Hopefully, Heads or Tails will be a better experience for you.
Chico: Yeah. You know how we do this. So let's start with this...

Pyramid's set.. We have old school with Davies familiarity.... Backlit foyers and a ready view of the audience. Heads or Tails?

Gordon: Heads. You want to get rid of the Osmond Pyramid experience. Quickly. More gameplay, less of a 'harder' game, which is an excuse to get in more celebrity pandering.
Chico: Agreed. Plus, and this is the thing I like... keeping it retro while keeping it fresh. Foot in the past with foot in the present
Gordon: I agree with you. Let's hope that they can keep as much of this as possible for the actual series.
Chico: Right. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

American Idol 'Negotiating' with Paula Abdul, instead of immediately bringing her back on the show. Heads or Tails?

Chico: TAILS. Not so much for the negotiating, but for Paula being... well, Paula. Auditions are being held. Fox and/or Fremantle are not going to go forward without secure commitments from its principals. They're smarter than that. I don't know what the hell Paula's doing.
Gordon: Tails, but for a different reason. You need a calming, happy influence on the board of judges. Paula is it, even though once in a while her brains take a siesta from the rest of reality.
Chico: But you understand where I'm coming from, right?
Gordon: Yes, but you need her - or a happy influence - on the board. You need Paula chained up, so to speak.
Chico: You do need a happy influence. A voice of reassurance... but enough about what you do in your own time, G. :-)
Gordon: Don't blame me for having to continually talk you from jumping off the hospital roof.
Chico: ... Point taken. Next...

A Block Party in Atlanta... complete with walled-up neighborhoods. Heads or Tails?

Chico: TAILS. The point of reality TV is to create as little attention to yourself as possible. Nothing says "look at me!" like walls that aren't supposed to be here.
Gordon: Coin edge.
Chico: Coin edge?
Gordon: I can't really comment on this unless I have more info. The point of the show is to force people to live with each other, including families. So I can't comment on it until I know more. I'm keeping the coin on it's edge.
Chico: Ah. We'll return to it on a future show.
Gordon: Next one...

CBS, for telling Greg Insco, after walking 2,200 miles to LA, that he's 'Too Nice' to appear on the show. Heads or Tails?

Chico: Tails. Where'd they pull THAT one from. And besides, someone who does all that... has to merit some look. Makes sense, right?
Gordon: Actually....HEADS. We know that nice people do NOT win Survivor. You have to plan, scheme and plot. If you're nice, then you're boring, and they don't want boring people on the show. I also think that if someone's going to walk 2,200 miles, then invite producers, then the point to get on the show may not have been to play a game, but to be a media ho and the producers saw right through it. Inviting producers to come over is more than enough for me to think he's not there to play Survivor as much as it's to PLAY Survivor - for a fool.
Chico: Okay. Well, so much for walker. Remember he doesn't have a home or car to go back to.
Gordon: I'll give him a hotel room with Josiah Leming and they can create their own little reality show. And condolences to Josiah, for the passing of his mother. Prayers go out to him and his family.
Chico: Agreed. Next...

Access Hollywood, for a flagrant foul of "article contradicted by article". They "confirmed" that Melissa Rycroft, who was on the Bachelor... then Dancing with the Stars... was going to be on Good Morning America as a "special correspondent". Heads or Tails?

Chico: This was according to a tweet by Melissa. She was tweeting on her Twitter. Then they print THIS line...

When contacted by Access, sources for “GMA” would not confirm the news.

Chico: Now on what planet do you confirm without a confirmation?
Gordon: First of all, even though I have one, I think Twitter is one of the dumbest inventions known to mankind. And it's a contradiction because Melissa shouldn't be the person to make that announcement. The agent should be - or GMA should be. If you are a celebrity and you're about to Tweet, you have to remember that anything you write WILL be picked up by the media and you're a fool of you think otherwise. Heads to the contradicting article, tails to Melissa and a Donkey Tail to Twitter, which seems to be doing much more harm than good.
Chico: Donkey tail!
Gordon: Donkey Tail, for being a big ass.
Chico: I'm going with tails all around.
Gordon: GMA is only doing what they are supposed to do to protect their publicity, so I can't tail them.
Chico: Tails for Rycroft for extending her 15 minutes (one was enough, thank you), tails for the "unnamed sources" that won't play fair and tails for Access Hollywood for not playing it straight. GMA... just doing their job.
Gordon: Last one....

Hole in the Wall...in the UK.

Chico: TAILS! Not much more need be said.
Gordon: They do it with celebrities - and it got a renewal.
Chico: Yeah, but the show is still the same... People... going thorugh a hole... in the wall. Good for about 5 minutes... bad for about 30.
Gordon: What if the celebrities were Michael Fleiss, Rob Mariano and The Schwab?
Chico: Oh look. Someone forgot to cut the hole out.
Gordon: And New York, Paris Hilton and Daisy from Daisy of Love?
Chico: *tosses Roto-zip into the pool*
Gordon: Oh. I got something better.
Chico: What's that?
Gordon: (Tosses 10 cartons of Nair into the pool)
Chico: And on that bombshell, we're going to take a break. But when we come back, we self-medicate...on the premieres of the week, that is. We'll be back.

(Brought to you by ShamWhew! Cleans up messes that are left by The Gauntlet of Villains. Includes zombie drool and left over money. You could soak up over $25,000!)

Chico: "If you call now, ... within the next 20 minutes, because we can't do this all day..."
Gordon: "...we'll throw in a blocker."
Chico: And perhaps... six new shows up for reviews. Here's your Maximum Strength Capsule Reviews.
Gordon: Yay. Ok Dr. Chico. Hand out the prescriptions.
Chico: Got it. First up...The Singing Bee returns after a two-year hiatus with a new network... a new host... a new format... a new... new everything.
Gordon: New theme music. The format, however, is the same. The prize money is different. $10,000 instead of $50,000.
Chico: Unlike the NBC show, the CMT show is more suited to an hour, with an eliminiation round to start, then several points rounds to determine who goes onto the final round, the Chorus Showdown. Because hey, this is basic cable. And because we're country-oriented, 60-40, we have a new house band... Steve Dorff and the Beehive Band. So the pros... the format works for an hour.
Gordon: It does. And with more games, it runs smoother.
Chico: Yes it does. There's no tapdancing around the dead airspace.
Gordon: True.
Chico: Now the cons...
Gordon: I know you havd a specific piece of bad you wanted to address.
Chico: Yes I do. I REALLY wanted to like Melissa Peterman. She's a great game player. It was only a matter of time before she got her own show. But the thing of it is, when you're fronting a renewal, the onus is on you to do as good or better than the host you're replacing. Joey Fatone, he just hit that one out of the park. Melissa Peterman - within 5 minutes, broke the cardinal rule of game show hosting.
Gordon: It wasn't Joey's first time, per se, but he did a good job. Melissa didn't seem like she was in tune with the show. That being said, I think she will improve as the show gets going.
Chico: Now you notice that Joey never once made the show about him. Melissa did it within five minutes of the show starting.
Gordon: I'm going to give her some slack here. It is her first time. You can't be great right out of the gate. Joey Fatone did have hosting experience before The Singing Bee.
Chico: Where?
Gordon: He hosted Fame, for starters. That wasn't exactly a worldwide smash.
Chico: Ah. Forgot about that. Wanted to keep forgetting about that.
Gordon: So yes, you can stop slurping on NSYNC now.

	THE SINGING BEE - CMT
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B	B	B

Chico: Heh. But all in all, the show works, the game works... The host needs work. I'm giving it a B with potential.
Gordon: The show works and does what it's supposed to - which is be entertaining through country music. B for me, also. Next one?
Chico: Next is...Brain Rush. It's Cartoon Network's first game show, and basically Cash Cab on a rollercoaster. Folks... it can't get any simpler. Answer questions, win money.
Gordon: You have 3 people compete against each other. 2 highest cash winners play in a second round. Winner plays a third round and a tougher coaster, where they could win a lot of money if they can name things off of a list.
Chico: That works. NOW they can win double their bankroll if they answer one final question. If they can't... their bankroll is halved. But whatever happens, the kids keep all the money they've won. Because let's face it... Taking money from a teenager? You REALLY want to do that?
Gordon: ...sure. :)
Chico: For the record, Gordon was the school bully. :-)
Gordon: I was NOT the school bully.
Chico: Well you want to take money from teenagers.
Gordon: It's a game. You introduce game play and risks. When you were a baby Chico, I'd be the host that would take your candy if you got questions wrong.
Chico: And I'd scream bloody murder.
Gordon: That's why pacifiers were created :)
Chico: But yeah, great variety... nice twist on an established format... and come on... who doesn't like rollercoasters.
Gordon: The game is what it is. It brings nothing new to the party, and Cash Roller Coaster is fun.
Chico: Very fun. My only qualm... the cohost is pretty much a needless role. I believe we saw Sarah Karges some... 2 minutes out of 30.
Gordon: It's needless. Again, the show doesn't add anything new. We've seen this all before.
Chico: As for the main host, Lamorne Morris... he does what he needs to do... that is, engage the contestant, keep the game going and act as a conduit. He's very adept.
Gordon: He's very good, very smooth with the contestants.

	BRAINRUSH - Cartoon Network
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	A-	B	B+

Chico: So apart from the co-host doing... well, nothing, really... it's a good show. Great way to spend a summer night if you can't get to an amusement park. A-
Gordon: It's a fun show. Again, not much strategy, not much gameplay. It's answering questions. It's not a bad Saturday evening choice. B.
Chico: No it isn't. But what do you think about the show that comes after... Destroy Build Destroy. The premise is in the title...Destroy... Build... Destroy. Destroy an average object like a car...Build something from the wreckage...And if you win, you get to destroy your competition's creation.
Gordon: The good: I liked that the teams were describing what they were doing.
Chico: Also good... pure destruction... pure creativity... pure competition.
Gordon: I agree. The premise is sound. It works well on paper. I look forward to see what challenges they have in the future.
Chico: So do I. It's all about using your brains on this one.
Gordon: I'm hoping one of the challenges it to create a machine that will knock the host into unconsciousness.
Chico: Going into the bad... Andrew W.K. is no George Gray. I'll say this right now. We all know you're this big shock rocker and we all love you for it... but come on...
Gordon: I thought he tried way too hard and I did think he tried to get some of the attention onto himself. He didn't come off as believable to me.
Chico: He's a showman. He's not supposed to be believable. Heh.
Gordon: Something else I hated - the editing. You knew who was going to win at the halfway mark of the show. The editors have to do better than that. Also, we need more time on the actual builds and less time on the 'drama' between the players, which turn out to be unnecessary and not really connected to the game.
Chico: Agreed. You don't need to force feed us drama. After all, take into account your audience. I think kids watching just want to get into the action, you know?
Gordon: Exactly. The audience is going to be kids who want to build things and learn about how to create these things, not picking up destructive behavior.
Chico: (But they shouldn't create these things at home without proper supervision and protection... otherwise... use a net.)
Gordon: Use a supervisor.
Chico: But that apart from the game... it's sound and it works on paper. And the players obviously know their stuff.

	DESTROY BUILD DESTROY - Cartoon Network
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C	C+	C+

Gordon: So overall, a lot of the show works. They need to focus more on that and less on the extraneous stuff that doesn't. C+.
Chico: Agreed. A lot of good, but the bad really sets it back. C.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next one... You're going to love this one...Silent Library.
Gordon: Shhhhhhh....
Chico: Teams of six enter the library and try to make as much cash as possible.
Gordon: TOO NOISY! FAIL!
Chico: *whispering* Sorry. They do this by completing tasks... but there's one rule that they can't forget...SILENCE. They have to be as quiet as possible. Too much noise results in a failure of the task.
Gordon: The good: The tasks are silly and yes, entertaining.
Chico: Very.
Gordon: And it's not entertaining as in dangerous, but entertaining as in silly things that juvenile kids (which is who the show is targeting here) would enjoy.
Chico: Some of our favorites... The guy getting his butt kicked by a buttkicking machine, the guy getting gummed by an old man and anything involving inflating balloons and pumps.
Gordon: I liked the Oreo with horseradish filling and the human piñata which, thanks to his overzealous teammates, caused the entire structure to collapse.
Chico: That... was very noisy.
Gordon: So yes, lots of funny good. Now, the bad. I would have loved to have seen the last stunt be something the team had to risk money on. I would have loved to see more team play in that aspect.
Chico: Well, there is team play in a sense, because the team has to be quiet as well. But the final challenge... yeah, there has to be some risk involved.
Gordon: Yeah, The team should be able to risk, or make it a forced risk.
Chico: Otherwise, what's the point?
Gordon: I also don't like the fact that there are additional tasks that we don't see.
Chico: I noticed that. What's up with that, anyway? I mean, if you're going to have a game... have a game.
Gordon: Some episodes had 10 challenges. Others had 9. Finally, I didn't think the host was believable.
Chico: Host? You mean there was a host? I thought Zero Kazama was just looking at the players, making fun of them, and then giving a cheesy one-liner. Oh yeah, and paying moneys.
Gordon: You know who I would have loved to see as the host? Takeshi Kitano (aka. the 'Headmaster' in Battle Royale). Also known as 'Beat' Takeshi.
Chico: He of the famous Castle.
Gordon: Correct. How fun would that be?
Chico: That'd be pretty cool, but I don't know if the kids would enjoy it.
Gordon: If you couldn't afford him or you wanted someone more kid-friendly, then get Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat)
Chico: Or Tony Sano.
Gordon: As in I Survived a Japanese Game Show?
Chico: Season 1. But again, he's busy on Kamen Rider. When your host is primarily known as "the guy from "Deadliest Warrior"... You have problems.

	SILENT LIBRARY - MTV
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B-	B-	B-

Gordon: The host didn't do it for me, sorry. However, this show does do it for me. I like it. A solid offering from MTV. B-.
Chico: But the game is fundamentally sound and it's hilarious without being stupid. B-.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next is a renewed show that we never got to review the first time...Chopped. Four chefs have to create a three-course meal with items from a mystery box. The good... chefs creativity on display. You can tell that they go into battle with a plan. And the game itself is simple.
Gordon: I like this show. A lot. The chefs are forced to think out of the box.
Chico: "Simple ingredients cooked simply".
Gordon: You could see this as a sample ingredient list: Oatmeal...oranges...octopus.
Chico: Artichoke hearts... nori seaweed... and prawns. Canned soup... pecans... and watermelons. You get the idea. Now the game works on paper... Worst dish served is eliminated after every course, last chef standing wins $10,000.
Gordon: Also a plus - Ted Allen. He picked up some nice notes from the Top Chef Series and you can tell he loves his craft. Masterful job hosting.
Chico: Very much so. It's as close to a game show as Food Network can get without giving us another serving of "Ready Set Cook". That said, it's not without fault. For example...
Gordon: My biggest complaint on the show is once again, the editing. When you hear people saying they are going home, it means they are not leaving. Again, the point of the editing is to tell a story, not to try to swerve the audience.
Chico: Also, The judges are good at what they do... But it sorta rubs the wrong way when their main task is to pick apart everything and basically assume the worst. Now I don't know if it's the fault of the players or the judges, but it seems like every dish will have a huge failing with it. And when it doesn't have a huge failing, it's chastised as being "too simple". I'm like... "Well what do you want from me?!"
Gordon: I think you sort of have to pick apart things. If you're the viewer, you can't have a rationale of why someone left if the judges don't find flaws in the dish. When you're on a show like Top Chef, with 10 or 12 people, you can give out compliments. On this show, with 2, 3, or 4 people, unless it's a slam dunk, you have to itemize the meals.
Chico: You really do, but there's no real coherent structure as to how the dishes are judged. I mean, you have creativity, presentation, and taste. But that's about it. I mean, I was brought up on Iron Chef, where half your total score is judged on taste. And again, you can attribute that to editing. Perhaps they want the judges as the dark overlords of the kitchen.
Gordon: Maybe. I think you have to have them edited that way though. Else if they say it was all good, and here's your winner, you're complaining 'well wait a sec, how did this person win?' And you don't want THAT as a complaint.
Chico: I'm just asking for a balance. That's not too much, right?

	CHOPPED - Food Network
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	A	A-	A

Gordon: No, but I think it's balanced. Anyways, I like the show. Just clean up the editing. A-.
Chico: But overall, it's a treat to watch and to see what is going to be created from mortadella, mushrooms, and chocolate chips. A. And finally...Another show that we neglected to judge the first time out... Can You Duet: The search for the best unsigned country duo. The best thing I can say about this show is that it really tries not to fall into "Nashville Star clone" or "American Country Idol times two".
Gordon: It doesn't try to fit into that mode. The good thing about it is it tries to be it's own entity.
Chico: Did we mention that we have a new host this season? CMT's own Lance Smith gets the nod.
Gordon: I think he's good for now. I can't really judge him until we get into the live interaction part of the show.,
Chico: Agreed. But how about the show? I mean, surely we can say more about it than it's its own entity. Its lineup also lends an air of legitimacy to the proceedings.
Gordon: A lot of the show is based on the live performances.
Chico: Naomi Judd... superstar and superstar judge.
Gordon: The lineup is good. Naomi has judged before (Star Search) and is usually spot on, though harsh.
Chico: Big Kenny of Big & Rich. Scott Borchetta, record producer. So it's legitimate and you can tell that they want the winner to succeed.
Gordon: They do. But like any talent show, it all depends on the talent
Chico: The cons... it's talent driven. Which means that the show is going to live or die on how hard these kids work. Not necessarily on how sound the game is.
Gordon: Exactly. So I'll give this an INC. until I see them actually perform live.

	CAN YOU DUET? - CMT
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	INCOMPLETE	INCOMPLETE	INCOMPLETE

Chico: Sounds good. We'll revisit this on a future show. So there you go, six reviews on six shows. Take them all with water.
Gordon: And we'll take The Speed Round in...after this!

(Brought to you by Chico and Gordon's Spelling Bee. Because you never know when you're going to be in front of a national audience and decide that 'SCUK' is a word, which promptly describes your spelling skills.)

Chico: Your skills scuk.
Gordon: They do. But The Speed Round doesn't scuk.
Chico: Nope. Speed Round starts...NOW! I'm a Celebrity finally ends this week. Think it'll come back?
Gordon: Unfortunately, the ratings aren't terrible. If NBC has sanity, no. But it's also VERY cheap to produce, so unfortunately, yes.
Chico: Oh geez.
Gordon: Last week of TPIR and Jeopardy. Anything saved up for the Summer?
Chico: I'm hoping they've saved their best for last. America's Got Talent... are you hoping for a Boyle effect?
Gordon: I'm sure the producers are. I think the kids' singing family will produce the same thing - lots of crowd response, no win.
Chico: Folks.. this is the Gong Show all over again. You're going to see some genuinely talented folk... some not so talented folks...And then there's going to be a fat, balding guy who can belt out "You Raise Me Up" with the best of them. Or was that last season?
Gordon: Last season. I'm sure this season., we'll get an amazing dance troupe that wins. We haven't had a dance troupe win yet.
Chico: Nope. I'm sure Nick Cannon will put in a good word. Speaking of good words, I've got some mail. This is from Steven Waldie...

Chico: Thanks, Steven. I honestly don't know what Ben Silverman was thinking, thinking that "Celebrity"... that didn't work the first time... would work the second time. It posted modest enough numbers for NBC and generated a lot of buzz, but the bottom line is... it can't compete.
Gordon: I agree with Steven on this. The only reason why I think IACGMOOH was renewed is that its much cheaper to do a show like this instead of a national talent show where the winners have not been doing good commercially after the show.
Chico: Or a TV show with a million dollar prize budget but little to no return on it since premiering in syndication.
Gordon: Not only that, but tell me - who won Last Comic Standing for the past 3 years?
Chico: Without cheating?
Gordon: Without cheating
Chico: Couldn't tell you.
Gordon: Season 4: Josh Blue. How did Josh Blue work for you?
Chico: He didn't?
Gordon: You hear from him lately?
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: What about Jon Reep? He won season 5
Chico: Hmm...I think he got one Comedy Central special, and that was it.
Gordon: Finally - Iliza Schessingeer, who won the last season
Chico: ... Nope. Nothing. And she's supposed to be the funniest person in the world.
Gordon: Jon Reep got to be in Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Josh Blue has been in Feast 2 and Feast 3. That's it, kids.
Chico: That's it?
Gordon: That's it. So when you spend $250,000 a year on the winner (times 3) and over 2 million on your show (times 3) and these are your results, it's time to pack up shop.
Chico: There you go. Thanks, Steven. Okay, time to pack up the trunk and call it a night. Special Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.
Gordon: If you want to send us mail, it goes to wlti@gameshownewsnet.com or to our Youtube, Facebook or Myspace accounts.
Gordon: Special thanks to...no one in particular, snce it' s just Chico and I this week.
Chico: We'll be back next week with what we saw on AGT. Until then, for Gordon and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander... Spread the love to your dads.