February 12, 2007

Chico: Good idea. But I think they already have a version of that. It's called Objetivo Fama... Mondays after Spanish Feud.
Gordon: That's just called El Uno
Joe: ROFL
Don: lol
Chico: Welcome back. The great immortal Danny Bonaduce once said, "You're great at being you, but how are you at being someone else?" It's time for Roleplay. If all of the actors are ready...
Joe: Hang to your butts, folks.
Chico: Okay, Mr. Klauss.
Mike: OK
Chico: You're a Broadway singer and dancer and actor.
Mike: Yes, and my first song will be "Where in the World is Chico Alexander?"
Chico: DAMN YOU, KLAUSS!!! Haha... So you're the triple threat.
Mike: Oy. So I am.
Joe: ROFL
Mike: Moving on quickly.
Chico: How hard is it to take Grease: You're the One That I Want seriously?
Mike: Very. These no-name people are coming from everywhere, taking a prime job away from a deserving talent...like myself. Didja know I can sing, dance and act? Chico said so 10 lines up! They're taking away a meal ticket from a starving artist who has honed his craft for many years. And when this Grease stage show fails, I will be laughing quite loudly.
Chico: ... and how many shows were YOU in?
Mike: I've been in many of Broadway's theatres. I was an usher in most of them, but I've been in most of Broadway's theatres!
Chico: Of course. Next?
Gordon: Hello. Mr. Van Ginkel
Joe: Oh dear.
Gordon: Now Jason's not here to play the female roles, so it's your turn.
Joe: Should I be ready to slit my wrists? :D
Mike: Give Joe the pearls.
Gordon: Actually, I think you'll like this one. And here's the pearls.
Joe: Thank you.
Gordon: Joe, you are...Melissa McNulty.
Joe: Who?
Gordon: You are the person who backed out of Survivor at the last second. Now explain to the audience why you would do something like bail out of Survivor.
Joe: Because I don't want to be associated with a show that does more to mess up the human psyche in an hour than all the sex and violence that's ever been on television or in movies....ever. And I suddenly came to my senses before I let myself get stuck on that island for 39 days of hell. And because I wanted "Game Show Man" Joe Van Ginkel to know who I was.
Gordon: But I hear that staying on an island filled with poisonous sea snakes for 39 days does wonders for people with panic attacks.
Joe: But staying on an island with a mob of greedy jerks doesn't.
Gordon: Do you really think they are greedy jerks? You don't know them.
Chico: They're playing Survivor.. they're greedy jerks =p
Don: lol
Joe: Thank you Chico. Exactly my point.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next.. My friend Don. You're an Endemol exec.
Don: Alright.
Chico: Deal or No Deal... now a huge draw in TWO countries with the same host. What happens when Global wants more episodes outside the five ordered? Do you keep the same host? Or do you find a new one?
Don: Well, first, we'll see if Howie is willing to continue doing both versions of the show. If so, then we'll go with that. Otherwise, we'll look for someone else.
Chico: Okay, if Howie is willing to continue doing both, how do you convince NBC to ease up on the Deal dependence? Because everything they said they wouldn't do... they're doing.
Don: Then I suppose we oughta try and come up with another new game show for them, so they can fill one of the slots with that instead of more DoND.
Chico: If I can suggest Pokerface.
Don: Good idea. We'll see what we can do.
Chico: ABC didn't want it. Get your hands on it and feed the alpha-net another helping of crow, why don'tcha. Okay, Gordon. What've you got for your boy?
Gordon: Chico, you are...Angela Hacker
Chico: ... who?
Gordon: You are the leading candidate to win on Nashville Star. You also gave a lackluster performance last week and you whined about the song you were forced to sing. This week, due to technical difficulties, the votes were thrown out. Does this give you a reprieve or are you not worried?
Chico: Oh, I tell ya, I'm only lucky sumgun. I know I gotta go at it better if I'm going to win this thing. So that's what I'm gonna do. And hopefully USA won't do something to screw it up... Like, you know, try and edit a story line together.
Joe: They already did that. :D
Chico: ... crap. Okay, Gordon. Ready?
Gordon: Ready.
Chico: You are a ninja.
Gordon: Who do I get to throw my super ninja stars at?
Chico: G4 just acquired the Japanese import "Ninja Warrior", which would be best described as The Double Dare obstacle course on speed. However, no ninja are involved. Thoughts?
Gordon: I am upset. I think that if they wanted to make it a real obstacle course based on my name, that there should be real obstacles. I should be able to throw nunchuks and shooting stars at the contestants and make it a REAL challenge.
Chico: You're saying the rolling log and the warped wall aren't real challenges?
Gordon: I haven't seen them produce any dismembered limbs yet. Have you?
Chico: Nope, but only one has managed to complete the entire course. You tell me how challenging that is.
Gordon: I am ninja. I want gore, blood, broken bones, torn tendons! Gore! Gore! Gore!
Joe: ROFL
Gordon: Then I want a giant squid to come out of the depths and drag the beaten broken contestant under the water and make a snack out of him.
Don: Ouch.
Gordon: Now THATS entertainment, Ninja Style!
Joe: Sounds more like a level of Ninja Gaiden.
Chico: Okay, Gore-don, you have one more?
Gordon: Ok. I have the last one, and this goes to Mike, Joe, Chico AND Don
Don: Oh, boy...
Joe: Yikes.
Chico: Scurred...
Gordon: Mike is Todd Newton, Joe is John O'Hurley, Don is Rich Fields, and Chico is Dave Price. You all have one pitch to me why YOU should be the host of the Price is Right. Go!
Chico: MY NAME'S IN THE TITLE!
Mike: I want to be the host because Fremantle has been prepping me for years with TPiR Live. I've gotten face time during Gameshow Marathon. I'm also the youngest candidate. Give me the job and I can host till 2050. I'm also the best looking candidate, which is an even better reason to hire me.
Chico: MY NAME'S IN THE TITLE AND CBS ALREADY HAS A CONTRACT!
Joe: I want to be the host because I do a good job on Family Feud (or Alex Davis says I do. ;P) and I think I'll do an even better job on TPIR. I'll bring an air of class to the show that even Barker couldn't match.
Don: I feel that I would be perfect for the role, because I've been there for a few years now (albeit in the announcing role), I've been paying attention to how the games are played when I'm not reading prize descriptions... and darn it, people like me!
Chico: Aaaaaaaand scene. That was fun. Next up, we get high... or low.

(Brought to you by Giant Robot. If you thought Ninja Warrior and Viking's obstacles were tough, you ain't seen nothing yet)

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