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Episode 32.3 - Real Annoyances
& Fake Girlfriends
I was thinking Bayonetta Chico: Bloodrayne. Jason: ALICE from Resident Evil Gordon: Maybe Kunimitsu if he's into that. Growl. Chico: You know, we really shouldn't be making fun of this guy. I mean, he's
been through a lot. A woman who doesn't exist is dead for crying out tears. Jason: I am playing my invisible violin. Gordon: I'm on my invisible piano playing a duet. Chico: I bet you both are. Welcome back to WLTI. Thanks for being a part of our
week and allowing our week to be a part of you. Gordon: And now, we bring back a game we haven't played for awhile...!! We give
!'s for things we feel are exciting. From one to 10. I will start with this...
CATFIGHT between Mariah and Nicki on American Idol. 3!s
Jason: This is ! This is as fake as Manti's gf. Gordon: Not very exciting for you? Chico: Not exciting for me. !. Jason: Yawn. Who cares Chico: I can imagine it would be exciting if, say, I liked Drama. Me, ... again,
It's the Game, Stupid (TM). Jason: What about you G? Gordon: !!. Snore. Next? Chico: Okay Next...
White celebrating her 90th birthday.... AGAIN. 13!s
Jason: That's a !!!! for me. I don't begrudge her. Chico: I'll go with !!!!!!. Chico: Many people don't live to see 90. She'll live to see it twice. Gordon: I think !!! is good. She is a game show icon you know. Jason: Pop Culture Icon actually. Gordon: That too. Next one...
Feud goes nuclear, breaking a 5.0 22!s Chico: 8 !'s This is BIG. Jason: This means we have a third solid syndicated show. That you can talk in
the same language as Wheel and J! 10 !'s. Thats huge to me. Gordon: I'm not as high up on it. !!!! Let's see if it can sustain it. Next one? Chico: Next...
is Mensa's #1 game show. 3!s
Gordon: ...really? ! Chico: Really. !. Jason: Honestly. ! This is NOT news. Chico: Jeopardy! is custom built for Mensa members and lucky sods like Jason and
myself. Jason: That's like saying water is wet. Chico: And the sun rises in the east. Gordon: And it's business as usual in the woods for bears. Next one...
Ask America is 2012's Best New Game Show of the Year. 19!s
Jason: This is 6! This makes me happy. Any good show that succeeds is makes me
excited. The show will be bigger and better next year. Chico: This makes me happy and not because of the obvious. 7 !s. It's actually a
game changer, and Kevin's a good talent. Gordon: I'll go with 6!. It's a good show. I thought that America's Bible
Challenge should have won it but this is more than worthy of the title. Chico: Right. And finally, a Video Bonus... from WAY back. Take a look at your
Chico: ... the first car hit on Press Your Luck was from a man who would be a
game show announcer. Jason: It's historical, it's exciting, but...as Press Your Luck moments go....5! Chico: That's about right. 5!. Gordon: Actually - 6!, because it springboarded Randy West.
West's first car win 16!s Chico: So there we go. The return of a WLTI classic. :-) Gordon: And now we break, and then give you another classic...mess. Chico: The Doctor... is in. Jason: (hands Chico his Papaya Hat and Jacket) Gordon: After this!
(Brought to you by Twenty One: Cyclists Edition. How exciting would it be to
watch a quiz show where both players are given the answers in advance and yet
ONE of them is going to get the business for it? You tell us... LANCE.)
Jason: Greg Lemond Hosts. Chico: Nice. Gordon: I think he would be great for a celebrity edition of The Moment of
Truth, don't you? Jason: That would rock Chico: Yes. Make this happen, 1 percenter. Gordon: I'll try. Meanwhile, I see we have lots of email stored up for Dr.
Chico, but I can only read a few of them. Here Jason, pick out a good letter and
read it to Chico. Jason: Dear Dr. Chico:
Dear Dr. Chico:
So far my new show is getting lots of accolades and it looks like I have a job
next fall. How do I make the show I have even better?
-- KP, from Somewhere in the USA
Chico: Hi, K. Long time no see.
Chico: ... that reminds you it's a joke. Anyway, you have a good solid foundation. What you need now is to expand
upon that, not only in content, but in reach. You're putting episodes on YouTube
(thanks for that, by the way), but they need to find an audience out in the
television ether. As for content, well, you're only as limited as your
imagination, so... Go wild. You owe it to yourself and your creator. And take
Jim Williams and call me in the morning. Gordon: Thank you Dr. Chico. next one...
Dear Dr. Chico -
How do you solve a problem like Mariah?
Chico: (GROAN) Gordon: Thank you, I'll be here all week. Chico: Well...Dear Nicki - Concentrate on YOUR job, maybe? Jason: Can you expand? :) Chico: I mean, I'm no doctor, but (looks at papaya hat and fake MD from Pepper
University)... Wait, I AM a doctor! Even more than that, I'm a fan of this show.
And you dealing with Mariah on your own is taking AWAY from the show watching
experience. I've been watching this show for 11 years and last Wednesday was the
first show I had to turn off. Gordon: Ouch Chico: I'll quote a famous person... that I can't remember...Somewhere along the
line, things stopped being fun. Jason: I got one for you! Is it ok if I read it? Chico: Go ahead
Dear Dr. Chico:
I am SOOOOO mad. Just because one appendix stopped me, doesn't mean I deserve a
2nd chance back on the Island. I so could have won this! Why aren't I back?
-- Future Survivor Winner Colton!
Chico: Dear Colton - Just because you weren't chosen as a "favorite" doesn't
mean you aren't one. It just means that you didn't have the time to make an
impact. And besides, no one can rock lightspeed briefs like Phillip. But I would
use this as a springboard to a new challenge. Might I suggest... TPIR. It worked
for Tijuana Bradley. Just saying. Gordon: Personally, I like the fact they added Francesca in as the first person
out as an All Star. Chico: Yes. This is a good thing. Gordon: Next email...
Dear Dr. Chico -
What do I need to do for GSN to pick me up and add me to their schedule?
-- Super Saver Showdown
Chico: I'd say good contestants with great stories, a compelling host, and at
least one person who likes to trade things. And either a Steve Harvey or Sherri
Shepherd level talent. Not a Design Star who happens to be a hottie. Jason: I got one more. It goes like this: "Hey baldy."
Chico: I'm afraid. Gordon: I have a feeling you should be,
Don't you love the way I am back in a big way and using kids to advance my
Gordon: I was wondering why this email was covered in sweat. Chico: You know something...I don't like the way you're using kids. I like the
way kids are being used, but I don't like the way YOU're using them. Gordon: I'm going to disagree here. How can you say you are using the kids when
they are losing a ton of weight and will be healthy? Chico: Yes, kids should get off the computer and get off the TV and go outside
and play for 60 minutes after having a well-balanced meal... but they don't need
YOU to tell them to do it. They need their parents, teachers and friends to tell
them to do it. Gordon: I got news for you - if you've seen the childhood obesity statistics -
yes Jillian DOES need to tell them. Her and everyone else on TV. Chico: We need to be examples. Not crazy angry hyper TV lady. Gordon: Ummm...What's crazy angry hyper TV lady's record in terms of coaching
the winning contestant? Chico: I don't know, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me. Gordon: I bet I will. When she was on the show, Crazy Angry Hyper TV Lady's
record was 8-1. Chico: And now her team's on the ropes. Gordon: I want to be taught by Crazy Hyper TV Lady. You go have 'everyone gets a
fat free cookie' trainer. I'll be driving all the money away in a pick up truck
and laughing at you while you're munching on it. Chico: No. Final question? Gordon: Last email...
Dear Dr. Chico -
I don't think Manti T'eo is man enough for me. I want you to stick your hard
disc into my floppy drive. Please bed me.
- Tammy Whamette
Chico: ... Jason, I think i got your mail by mistake. AGAIN. Jason: Ha ha. Chico: But yeah, that's not going to happen. I mean... You're a Whammy. Who know
what the hell I'd get. Gordon: What's wrong with Tammy? She's hot in a bathing suit. Jason: DAMN Chico: I have a feeling you're just gonna be one of those Google girlfriends.
I've been hurt too much. =p Just saying. Jason: :P Chico: Okay, the Doctor's out. The Speed Round is in after this time out.
(Brought to you by To Tell The Truth: Facebook Edition. One
of the people on Facebook is real. 2 of them are imposters. Can you tell the
difference? Manti T'eo hosts.)
Jason: WIN WIN WIN Chico: We could do this all day. Jason: We could. Chico: But time's running out, so let's go to the Speed Round... NOW! Chico: Biggest Loser. Does the white team turn into a singular? Gordon: No. Blue team loses one Chico: Jeopardy! Helen gets how far? Gordon: Tuesday sounds good. Chico: I say Tuesday. Gordon: Idol: Can Chico get through it for the whole episode? Chico: That depends. Can you cover NEXT WEEK? Gordon: Heh Chico: Crystal Ball on Millionaire. Will it help any? Gordon: Not a chance. Jason: Probably not. Chico: Do we have any mail? Gordon: We don't. BOO. Where does it go if you want to send some? Chico: Well, it goes to WLTI@gameshownewsnet.com. On Face: /wlti.gsnn And on
twitter: @wltiongsnn. Next week, American Idol goes asplode...plus... will the
Taste leave a bad taste in our mouths? That's next week. Meanwhile for now, big
thanks to Jason Block for hanging out today. :-) Jason: Glad to be here. Chico: We're gonna go get some curly fries at the snack stop. For Gordon and
everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander. Thanks for reading. Game over... and
spread the love. :-)