"Earthquakes and Shakeups!: Days 11-12" - October 14

DAY 11: HAIL TO THE CHIEF

What's the REAL reason for the way Lopevi is voting? Well, according to "Sarge" Lea, it's to clear up the best spot around the fire! You see, the wind seems to keep blowing in one direction, blowing ashes and smoke towards most of the tribe... and AWAY from "Bubba" Travis, who won't give up his favorite spot. He of the "Price Is Right diety" shirt is getting tired of hanging out with men.

We have a visitor (and we haven't had the chance to clean up our beach). It's a native of the island, and he's asking for "one chief". We guess that one of us needs to join him. Because of that, we all tell Sarge to take the march. Sarge has stripped and is about to get on the boat... when the native hands him a staff and a necklace... and then leaves! WTF?!

LATER DAY 11: I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GONNA GO WHEN THE VOLCANO BLOWS

With all the intrigue and challenges and shouting, I think everyone has forgotten what Uncle Jeff told us a week-and-a-half ago: that Mt. Yasur is not only an island, but an ACTIVE VOLCANO! Today, we are reminded of that fact in a BIG way. As Bubba is trying to say his peace to the still camera, the earth starts to tremble like a Plinko chip heading down to the $0 slot. Most of us, being men and all, are whooping and shouting as the ground starts to rock and roll. One or two of us are a LITTLE worried, but we see it as a sign of a "shake-up". Little do we know...

AFTERNOON 11 : TURN THE BEAT AROUND  

After the ground stabilizes, we march towards Challenge Cove to meet with Uncle Jeff and give the frightened ladies of Yasur a good look at us minus Brady. Bubba was excited when the quake hit and Elisa says she was terrified!

But we're not here to compare notes for the Vanuatu Seismic Institute. "Sarge" and Scout, the two "chiefs", are asked to join Uncle Jeff opposite the tribes, and Jeff says those three scary words heard at every Survivor: "Drop your Buffs"! But, unlike MOST tribal shuffles, this will NOT be a random choice. The reason chiefs were chosen is because THEY'LL get to choose the new tribes! It's not like a "draft", though. ONE chief will divide the men and women equally (leaving one woman behind) and then the OTHER chief gets to choose WHICH tribe to return with. Sarge and Scout do rock-paper-scissors and Sarge wins and elects to receive... er, choose.

So Scout goes about dividing the tribes. On one new tribe are Rory, Eliza, Bubba, Leann and Ami... and on the other are Chad, Julie, Chris, Twila and John. This leaves Lisa behind. Sarge then chooses Chad, etc. as the new Lopevi tribe! But what of Lisa? Well, she gets to CHOOSE which tribe to join. With everyone egging her on, she decides... to re-join Yasur!

REWARD CHALLENGE: I'M GOIN' DOWN

But there's no time to celebrate the new tribes; Uncle Jeff gets us right into a Challenge. Five of each tirbe (meaning one of Yasur must sit out) will dive off a platform one at a time, swim to a buoy and dive down to retrieve a marker tied to the buoy line. The 13th and deepest marker is 30 feet underwater! The first tribe to get all 13 markers - or the tribe with the most markers hanging on their platform pegs in 10 minutes - wins a reward.

(PRODUCT PLACEMENT ALERT! PRODUCT PLACEMENT ALERT!)

And the reward for winners is... Pringles(TM) and beer! Everyone gets ONE CHIP as a tease... because no one can eat just one (oh, wait... wrong brand). The winning tribe will go to a secluded waterfall to relax and down all the beer and curved potato chips they can eat. Yasur sits out Bubba (makes sense since he can't swim worth a $#!+) and the tribes head out to the platforms.

After being supplied with a dive mask for each tribe, Uncle Jeff starts the clock and the two elder tribespeople - Twila and Scout - dive in. Twila dives down first to the six-foot marker for us but can't get the marker untied in one breath. Scout, who must've went to Ethal Merman classes, stays down a good while and surfaces with the marker. Twila is too winded and swims back to the platform to trade off with Chad as Leann dives in for Yasur. Chad has an easier time getting our first marker undone, but Leann is quick to make it two-to-one. Julie is next, her dive being eight feet under. She likewise finds her inner mermaid and stays down enough to tie the score again.

Next dive is ten feet, and it's Rory vs. Sarge. You'd think a military man would have no trouble with this... and you'd be right. He closes the time gap between us and Yasur as we're tied at three. Next stop: two fathoms (that's twelve feet for the non-nautical) with Eliza and Chris. Though it's fairly even going into the dive, Eliza surfaces with her marker first. Chris has some difficulty... and DROPS the 12-foot marker once it's untied! He tries to go all the way down to retrieve it, but he doesn't have the breath. He surfaces and yells about what happened,... but mean Unlce Jeff says that the marker is gone and Lopevi is now one behind.

With five minutes left, John and Ami dive down. John goes to 14 feet and quickly retrieves the marker to tie it up. Ami takes some time to get HER 14' marker, giving John time to turn around and dive 16 feet. Both him and Ami have their fifth marker in hand as they swim to the platforms, neck-and-neck. John needs to catch his breath, so Julie goes back in and heads 18 feet down to pull Lopevi ahead! Rory is right behind them, however, with Yasur's 16' marker. Three minutes to go and Chris goes down 20 feet and Ami 18 to keep things tied at seven.

Now we leave it to Sarge to dive deep and pull us ahead to stay. 22 feet under goes Lea while Rory goes down 20 feet. Suddenly, Sarge surfaces, saying his ear hurts him at that depth. While the tribe tells him to either try again or trade-off, Rory returns with the 20' marker. Sarge trades off with John (who, with any luck, has his wind back) and he starts to dive, with ??? psyching herself for the 22' depth. John surfaces with the marker, tying the game at eight with less than a minute to go. It's down to Chris (going four fathoms) and Ami (22 feet) to decide the winner! Chris pulls himself down face first while Ami goes feet first. They both get to their markers at about the same time. And the first to surface is...

Chris. He pants, "That sucker's deep... AND I GOT IT!" It's all up to Ami. Should she surface with a marker, it'll be a tie. Ami finally comes to the top of the water... empty-handed! Despite Chris' earlier blunder, he makes up for it in spades and Lopevi wins (much to the dry Bubba's dismay).

LATE AFTERNOON 11: T***IES AND BEER

"I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laidback company. They said 'Screw it. Cut em up.'" - Mitch Hedberg

We walk over to a neutral side of the island to a lush waterfall and are greeted with multiple tennis-ball canisters filled with salty, deep-fried potato goodness! That's not to mention a large ice-filled trunk of unlabeled beer (guess they couldn't find a sponsor for that). Everyone is happy-happy-joy-joy, eating the chips like it was "manna" and having a great time. Twila is enjoying it the most, being an old tomboy at heart and finally being able to "kick it" with the guys. Julie's skeptical, though, since she and Twila are the only females in the tribe... and she fears the guys will pick them off in the early going. John's happy that the Big Five alliance with the "old men" is broken up and he has a better chance of surviving now. If only Bubba and Rory could see us now...

DAY 12 - IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: YASUR, ROW YOUR BOAT ASHORE

After digesting the chips and beer and sleeping off the buzz, we trudge out to Challenge Cover and see Yasur again. Bubba mutters over to Chris, "Think about the merge"... so he better PRAY they win this because the ladies HEARD him.

The Immunity Challenge this time around has us racing into the woods to get parts to an outrigger canoe and then putting it together and racing them. Two will get the frame, two the paddles and two the outrigger. Only two are allowed in the woods at a time. Once everything is brought in, we assemble the canoe, two of us will hop on and paddle out to a crate. We grab the tribal flag off the crate and paddle back, striking the pole in the water on the way back. The first tribe with all six tribe members on the mat with their flag gets to stay home tonight while the other heads for Uncle Jeff's Stone Temple O' Doom to stare down Tribal Council. Yasur sits out Scout as the rest prepare for the task.

The first twosome into the woods for Lopevi are Sarge and Twila, while Bubba and ??? go for Yasur. The knots are tight, but the sarge and the highway woman attack them with fervor. They're the first to undo the frame and haul ass back. Bubba hauls Yasur's frame back... by HIMSELF!

Next pair is Chad and Julie for the oars, with Leann and Eliza right behind. Once one gets their knot undone on their paddle, they jump on the other knot. Yasur catches up a little, but we're still in the lead... with two tough men as the anchor leg. As Chris and John work on their knots for the outrigger, Rory tries to EAT through the rope. John goes out to a big lead as he undoes the big knot and he and Chris jog back to the beach, leaving Rory lagging behind. We start to assemble the canoe as Rory and ??? emerge from the woods with their outrigger.

When it comes to ASSEMBLING the canoe, though, Yasur is running like a Swiss watch, while Lopevi is running like a Swiss...car. However, given the extra time we had, we STILL get the canoe together and get it in the water. Chad and John are elected to paddle for the tribe... and, though they start of slow, they get their act together. Yasur has their OWN troubles; the push-off was TERRIBLE and send Bubba and Julie in the TOTALLY wrong direction (even crashes into Lopevi's finish pole). Chad yells to straight out the canoe while John yells back to "just paddle". We're a LITTLE off course, but we reach the crate first and he of the metal leg gets the flag. As we paddle back, Yasur gets on track and grabs THEIR flag.

It's the row back that hurts us. We head in the same direction Yasur just CAME from since John is trying to be a rudder while Chad paddles forward. Bubba and ??? however, row on opposite sides of the raft in tandem. We finally get the gist and head for the pole... but it's a foot... er, paddle race to the finish. And the first to strike their flag is...

LOPEVI! We grab our flag and bolt for the mat... and guarantee ourselves a few more days on the island!

TRIBAL COUNCIL: DO-DO-DA-DOOO0-WAAAAAAAAA (Price Is Right losing sound effect)

I told you Travis should have kept his yap shut. While we relax on the beach and chomp on fish and chips (whatever is left over from the Reward, that is), Bubba goes bye-bye. But he gets some nice parting gifts and, chances are, Bob Barker will mention him a time or two on future episodes.