Ah, the standard combination Reward AND Immunity Challenge that starts
every Survivor off with a bang. And, judging by the clue, SOMEONE is going to be able to boil some water tonight!

Down to Challenge Cove we go, where we meet Uncle Jeff and the Yasur Tribe of Ami, Dolly, Scout, Mia, Lisa, Leann, Eliza, Twila and Julie.  Uncle Jeff asks the girls how they're doing, and their first reaction is "no fun". We, on the other hip, have only one complaint: no fire. Well, that's what we're here for.

What we have is a wicked obstacle course. First, all nine members must crawl through mud under some beams. Three of us then work through a maze a ball which, once completed, we take with us since there are matches inside for later. Then all nine of us must navigate a high and narrow balance beam, being forced to start over if our feet touch the catch net at any time. After THAT, three OTHER members must build a fire (with the matches), burn through a rope and drop a torch. The first tribe to light their giant wok with their torch wins.

Then Uncle Jeff shows what we'll win. For Reward, we get the prerequisite flint which, in conjunction with the machete, should make fire. And then, of course, there's the Immunity Idol: a spear with a tiki on the handle. Whoever holds the Idol cannot be voted out of Tribal Council tonight... and that's WAY more important than fire in THIS game.

"Survivors ready...GO!" Aaaaand we're off! Now, one would think that, with an ex-military man on our team, we could get under the crawl no sweat. Well, one would be wrong. Our bulk makes it hard to stay under the beams. But, thanks to a little teamwork, we get everyone through a
split-second before the women do. Three are chosen to maneuver the
ball maze... and this is where we stumble. We run into a few dead-ends while the women calmly work their ball through. However, we manage to finish first and head for the balance beam.

Strength and speed is one thing... but balance is QUITE another. Chad's bum leg is a big hindrance to us as he keeps falling into the net.  But, thankfully, the women have more problems with the ball maze than WE did, so we have some time. John actually takes off his sneakers and walks across by grabbing the beam with his toes! Travis (called "Bubba") tries to crawl across instead of walk and, soon, EVERYBODY from BOTH tribes follow suit, making it look like a bad reproduction of a scene from "Full Metal Jacket".

It comes down to Chris vs. Scout for the last one across... and Chris STUMBLES! Scout crosses (inadvertently flashing the camera) and they get going on the fire. Chris tries to make it across after removing his muddy shoes... but Yasur has already made a big fire and brunt through the rope. For the second time in a Men vs. Women edition of Survivor, the women have kicked the males' asses (not to mention their libido) and have won the flint and the Immunity Idol!

NIGHT 3: IT'S RAINING, MEN!

To say that my namesake is depressed would be an insult to Zoloft users everywhere. The men comfort Chris and laugh it off... but it's on Chris' mind that he's most-likely the #1 suspect for letting his tribe lose to women.

And his paranoia is well-founded. As soon as he walks away by himself, some of the other guys discuss him being the victim at Tribal Council.  Lea, however, says he'll think about it, not feeling Chris is the "weakest link". Lea then tells Chris about this and they ally themselves to get Brook off instead. Of course, it IS seven against two so... that'll be tough. Brook seems to know himself as a target, but Brady assures him that it isn't Brook going down tonight (either Chris or Rory, he thinks.)

TRIBAL COUNCIL: MEN ARE GETTIN' SCARCE

To Uncle Jeff's Stone Temple of Doom march nine bummed guys. They grab their torches and stick them in the fire to represent their life... in the game. Before one of us heads home, though, let's talk about the DEBACLE that was the Challenge.

Almost half the men blame Chris for the loss because, according to Lea, it was "so easy". Chris never thought during the Challenge that he was dead, since he didn't feel that way about Rory on Night 1 when HE was running his mouth. Rory thinks he fits in "fabulously well" with the "family". J.P. says they're on "red alert" due to the lack of drinking water.

Travis is upset that they underestimated the women and hopes everyone respects them. Brook wouldn't mind ending up on a tribe with some of them and promises NOT to underestimate. J.P. still cannot BELIEVE nine "strong men" got their asses handed to them like that.

And with that, it is time to vote. One by one, they head for the voting room, uncork a magic marker made to look like something native and write names on parchment on who they want out. First is Brook (who votes for Chris), then Rory, Lea, J.P., Johnny (voting for Rory), Chad, Brady, Travis and, finally, Chris (telling Brook that "it's all part of the game").

Uncle Jeff reads the votes: Chris, Chris, Rory, Brook, Chris... and then, shockingly, four STRAIGHT votes for... BROOK! That's five votes, that's the majority... and that's all for the project manager. The tribe has spoken and his torch is snuffed.

Then Uncle Jeff reminds us that we have no drinking water, we cannot bring fire back (like in "All-Stars", we can't bring our torches back lit until we earn or make fire) and that three different tribe members were voted for. We head back to camp with our heads hung at half-mast. Not a very good way to start off our Survivor experience.

(BTW, Chico, you would think, since you have the women, that a woman will win. Well, remember, Gordon didn't predict the last Celebrity Mole after guessing the first three... so every streak is made to be BROKEN! >:) )

(C-Note: Game on, son...)