"Burly Girls, Bowheads, Young Studs and the Old
Bunch: Days 4-6" - September 23
Quoth my sister, if you
have a bad plantain, then someone didn't cook it right.
That's a whole lot of Lisa
spilling out of her tanktop as she machetes her way to a
boatload of plantains. "Day 4. It's going rough," Mia
says, tipping everyone off to complain about the whole
deserted island aspect of the game. Eliza compares the
game to prison as they chomp on poorly prepared platanos...
with a hint of maggot.
Some of the older
sisters are opting to eat the plantains anyway. The
sorority chicks... won't, Dolly most of all with all the
not sleeping and not eating and maggots. "But I'm having
fun, I'm not complaining at all!" You know, except for
the not sleeping, not eating, et ce-te-ra, et ce-te-ra.
Everyone comforts the
shepherds as Twila both comforts and offers some advice:
"Protein. Eat 'em. Shut up. If they want to be pampered,
they need to go back to the Holiday Inn."
Position (for blankets, hammocks, and pillows; flint for
the men, Scout sits out)
Hard to explain, but
follow me anyway. Each tribesman is numbered, 1-8,
standing on a pole. Starting with #1, tribesmates are to
go from the start of the line to the finish WITHOUT a)
falling off or b) touching two fellows mates
simultaneously. First tribe to do that wins reward. In
addition, should the guys win, they get flint for fire.
The men seem a little
homophobic for this challenge as one by one... well, ONE
man goes down. Meanwhile, the women are squeezing...
struggling... grabbing... Man, I won't lie. This is
getting me all hot. Probably getting the rest of the men
all hot as well as one by one, the women literally walk
all about the men, getting all eight mates onto the
winner's island first for much-needed comfort.
And Eliza dances.
Day 5: Something we
haven't seen for a while... The sun.
Leann is soaking up the
fact that the girls have everything while the guys
The girls also have a
golden opportunity upon them. Now anyone who's everyone
on Survivor knows that chickens aren't the most fertile
of God's creation. I mean, you just can't go up to one
and say "You, egg, now!" So comes option #2... as Twila,
about as eager as Gordon on one of his good days, sends
her holy machete high into the sky... in time for the
chicken to beat flappers. Good news: in her wake... a
lot of eggs. So you don't have chicken, but you can at
least hardboil some eggs... Except that you spilled the
water onto the fire. Now you have no chicken and no
And when you have no
chicken, no eggs, and no fire, that's when you start
thinking, as Ami has already done. "The good news
about being a tribe of all women is we care about each
other and we want each other to succeed. We haven't had
to start voting people off yet. I think we can win the
next challenge. But I definitely see groups forming. The
two groups that were formed I think are like the older
generation and then the younger generation. That
diversity in age has really separated everybody." Ami
doesn't classify herself as old or young, but does
gravitate more toward the Golden Girls.
Dolly, meanwhile, plots
with Twila to get into a majority, citing that her head
was on the block last round. But what Dolly doesn't know
is that the elders have already made a pact of four, and
that Dolly is the swinger that warrants attention. Dolly
puts her pinky forward to Twila, so I suggest she get
her machete ready in case something odd happens...
Day 6: Tree-mail
(mostly addressed to the men)
"So far it seems the spirits haven't responded to
Depend upon your tribemates; you can't do this on
When you put it all together, it takes agility,
skill and trust.
Tonight, the dreams of victory for one will turn to
Man's Bluff (Dolly sits out)
tethered-and-blindfolded groups will venture out into
the beach and the water to collect 12 pairs of puzzle
pieces going solely by the voice of one leader (in our
case, Scout). Once the 12 pairs are safely (more or
less) recovered, blindfolds will come off and
puzzle-solving will commence. First one to the top of
the observation deck wins immunity and the right to
wield Mr. Pike. For the men, this also equals flint.
From what I hear, the
men had finally started to mind the spirit stone. I'm
hoping that the legend is nothing more than an old
wives' tale. It's close starting off, as the men start
on their puzzle first... after some real wincer moments
including the water team being neglected by Scout.
Meanwhile, you can tell
Sarge has done this sort of thing before.
Then Scout makes the big
mistake, having her team take blinds off before
releasing ONE more pair of pieces in the water. You know
what they say, you should never turn your back on the
ocean. The women get their pieces and take a while to
untie. They scramble to assemble their puzzle, but it's
too late. Lopevi wins immunity and fire. For us, it's
Back at camp...
the ladies are nursing
their wounds and counting their losses. Meanwhile, Dolly
is playing the middle ground tactic WAY TOO EARLY by
divulging to the Young'uns that the Elders have targeted
Eliza and to the Elders that the Young'uns have targeted
Leann. Question now, do you trust the middle-woman?
Julie thinks she switched, feeling guilty. "She's
looking out for everybody's interests." On the other
hand, Scout wants Eliza gone because she's grating on
people's nerves. Then Dolly tells her of her decision to
vote off Leann. "I nearly dropped my teeth."
And in the middle, Dolly
is in a "cluster-you-know-what." An accurate assessment
if I've ever heard one.
Night 6: Tribal
Fire is life. You know
what it is. You know how it go. Scout thought she blew
the challenge, but she can't wallow in loss. Eliza calls
everyone on on-and-off days. Twila calls out the elder
alliance on working. Lisa is having trouble sleeping,
and her withdrawal may cost her. Dolly thinks she's
getting along with everyone too well, ending up in the
middle. Eliza is worried that it might be her tonight,
hoping and praying that people will stick to their word.
Julie: LEANE (sic) -
"Dolly's pretty much running the show."
Mia: LEIGH ANN (sic) - "Purely so that the Five
Young'uns can stick together and get through this."
So far, two for Leann
(non sic). The other votes...
Dolly: LEANNE (sic)
That's five. That's
enough... for the Young'uns to start casting ophthalmic
blame. THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN, and the swinger gets swung.
Dolly's gone to get pampered. Tell Chingy I said what