"It's Okay, Run Them Over"
- September 14
PIT STOP: MATAPARA FARMS, ROTORUA, NEW ZEALAND
Colin & Christie (Team Type A) is absolutely DESTROYING
the competition, winning three straight legs (and 6 of
the last 8) of the Race and having a sizable lead on
Linda & Karen (Team Bowling Moms), Brandon & Nicole
(Dating Models) and Chip & Kim (Married Parents).
Kami & Karli (Team Twins), however, finally ran out of
smarts and were eliminated, narrowing the field down to
On the rolling hills of New Zealand, where Gondor and
Rohan were portrayed in the movies, the four remaining
teams eat, sleep and talk for 12 hours, awaiting the
start of the next leg. Will the two go-getters make it
four in a row? Or will one of the other three make them
suffer at last?
In the dead of night (specifically 4:56am local time),
Team Type A take
off on Leg 11 with this clue:
Drive yourselves to the
Westhaven Marina (220 miles away) in Auckland. Find
the yacht named "Hydroflow" and crank one of the
marked sail-ropes until your next clue is within
grasp. You have $120 for this leg of the Race.
Understandably, Colin &
Christie are VERY confident that none of the other teams
are stronger and smarter than them. Christie goes as far
as saying the other teams "suck". Harsh words from
someone who is a mere 87 minutes ahead with a POSSIBLE
air trip coming up. Team Bowling Moms depart at 6:23am
in hot pursuit. They are shocked to have been in second
after such a hard time in the last leg... but directions
to Auckland put BOTH of them on edge. Karen even ends up
tossing the map at driver Linda.
About 20 minutes later, the Dating Models take off from
the PIT STOP, not liking to be in third but confident
they can catch up. The Married Parents are the last to
leave just over 3 hours behind the leaders. Learning
from the mistake of the YIELD in the last leg, Chip will
drop the "diplomat" role and do what it takes to get
AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND
Team Type A has no problems finding the right marina...
but they failed to realize it was so HUGE! However, the
"Hydroflow" is among the yachts closest to the shore.
Colin didn't bother to crank the pulley, opting instead
to YANK the rope to lower the clue. What he finds is a:
("The person who
performs this task must have strong arms, strong
legs and no fear of heights.") Get on a boat taking
you to just underneath the Auckland Harbor Bridge.
Then one Team Member must climb a 75-foot rope
ladder to the girders beneath, and then proceed to
walk across the narrow girders to the other side,
where a helper will give you your next clue. You
will then be lowered down back to the boat and
brought back to the harbor.
Colin thinks the task
would be to climb to the top of a tall mast, so he takes
the initiative. The marine workers suit him up and he
and Christie make their way to the bridge.
Meanwhile, the other three teams are trying to find
their way to Auckland. Linda & Karin are lost while the
Dating Models and Married Parents pass them on the right
route. Chip thinks he might've seen a small boat going
under the bridge with a marker on it.
On said boat, Colin starts his ascent. Christie tells
him to take his time since they have such a big lead...
but Colin doesn't DARE want to lose it! He makes it to
the girders and, without any fear at all, makes the
short trek to the other side of the bridge. The helper
gives him the clue and Colin repels off the bridge to
the boat below. As they head back to the marina, they
open the clue:
Fly to Manila,
Philippines (about 5000 miles away). Once there,
head for Malaguena Motors where you'll find your
(See, TOLD ya there was
a flight to be taken... and we all KNOW what an
equalizer the airports are!)
While Team Type A get a taxi to the nearest
international airport, Brandon & Nicole make their
arrival at the marina, find the yacht and crank down the
clue. When they read that the ROAD BLOCKer needs strong
arms and legs, Nicole says to Brandon, "Is that you or
is that you?!" When BRANDON reads what he has to do, he
says, "God help me..."
The Married Parents arrive as the Dating Models are
about to take off for the bridge, happy to be in third.
As they grab the clue, Team Bowling Moms get directions
to the marina.
At 9:39am, Team Type A reaches the International
Terminal and look for flights to Manila. They go to Air
New Zealand and ask them about the quickest flight.
They're told they can route through Singapore on
Singapore Airlines and be in Manila by 8:20pm... AND the
flight LEAVES in 25 minutes! They rush to the Singapore
Airlines ticket office and are relieved to find that
they are able to get out since the flight was
rescheduled for 10:45am. They make their flight and head
to Singapore, confident they can make their connection
to Manila on time.
Brandon starts the climb, praying all the way up the
ladder since he's intimidated by heights (Nicole must've
MISSED that part). But he struggles on as Chip chooses
to do the ROAD BLOCK and he and Kim head for the bridge.
Brandon gets the clue, repels down and joins Nicole
again. Brandon jokes, "I've done the 'catwalk' before
but not like that." As they take off for the marina,
Chip arrives and starts HIS climb. He LIKEWISE prays...
but only for the strength to get up that seven-story
ladder while hefting his bulk up. He stops halfway to
catch his breath...
...and, at that moment, Team Bowling Moms drive by and
SEE Chip climbing the rope. They are suddenly both
nervous and elated; nervous about that being a task,
elated that they're not too far behind! They crank down
the clue and, after choosing Linda to do the task, find
out that that's EXACTLY what she needs to do.
As the Dating Models catch a taxi to the airport, Chip
reaches the girders and slowly walks across, huffing and
puffing all the way. He gets lowered down to the boat
and they take off just as Linda & Karen arrive at the
bridge with much trepidation. But going "heel-toe",
despite her saying she was "spaghetti" after the climb
and hesitating before the jump, Linda makes it and they
head for the airport behind Chip & Kim.
At the airport, Brandon & Nicole confess they know
NOTHING about the Philippines except that "it's an
island" (actually, it's over 7000 islands). As they look
for tickets out, Chip & Kim arrive and exchange notes
about the task. As they do THAT, Linda & Karen arrive
and get in on the conversation. The Dating Models get
tickets to Manila with an overnight stop in Hong Kong
arriving at 10am the next day... 10 hours after Colin &
Christie supposedly arrive. The Married Parents and Team
Bowling Moms get on the same flight... so all three are
tied for second.
MANILA VIA SINGAPORE, ARRIVING 8:20pm: Team Type A
MANILA VIA HONG KONG, ARRIVING 10am THE NEXT DAY: Dating
Married Parents, Team Bowling Moms
Off the southern tip of the Malay Peninsula, Team Type A
arrives on time. However, they had only 20 minutes to
make their connection or their 8-hour lead is history.
They sprint from one gate to the other as fast as
possible...but, according to the attendant, they are too
late. Now they have to troll the counters for the
fastest flight out.
Unfortunately, Singapore Airlines can't get them to
Manila until the next day. When Colin says they'll
connect to anywhere, they find tickets to...
HONG KONG, CHINA
Meanwhile, off the southern part of China, the other
three teams arrive late at night. All the teams want to
see about getting an earlier flight... but none are
available so it looks like they're camping out in front
of the gate.
As the six snooze away, Colin & Christie arrive and,
likewise finding no other flights out, crash out near
the ticket counters, unaware that the "great equalizer"
has put them all on the same flight!
Boy, was everyone surprised when Team Type A arrived at
the gate the next morning...not the least being Team
Type A themselves! Colin says, "We couldn't let you guys
have ALL the fun." Hugs and smiles were exchange and
everyone is relieved, since every team is now in a tie
for first heading to...
The plane arrives at Ninoy Aquino International Airport
in the capital city of this great archipelago nation...
and eight crazed Americans bolt out of the gate and out
of the terminal to find cabs to Malaguena Motors. The
Married Parents get out of the terminal first, with the
Dating Models close in second, Team Bowling Moms in
third and Team Type A in a VERY unfamiliar position:
LAST PLACE! And, again, another "Cannonball Run"
escapade ensues. But Chip & Kim already KNOW what
they're going to do. They intend on utilizing:
There is only one yield
on each leg of the race. The team that uses it may
force another team that's behind them to stop racing
for a predetermined amount of time, even as other
teams may pass them. However, teams can exercise
their yield power only once during the course of the
Race, so they have to decide when it's in their best
interest to use it. However, ANY team can be forced
to yield ANY number of times during the Race. Any
team that's been forced to yield must turns an
hourglass upside down and waits for the sand to run
out before they continue on.
They intend on putting
the YIELD on Colin & Christie. As Brandon & Nicole pass
them by in heavy traffic, they come to an agreement that
whoever gets to the YIELD will force Team Type A to
stop. Linda & Karen agree, even though no one else
As they approach the motors place, Chip & Kim jump out
of the taxi and look for the YIELD. Brandon & Nicole are
right behind them. They BOTH run into Linda (literally)
and she and Karen follow suit. As it is, they all make
the YIELD at just about the same time. They agree to
post Team Type A's picture on the YIELD... with the
Married Parents' picture in the "courtesy of" square.
Chip & Kim may no longer YIELD another team during the
Race. As the three teams wait for the "L.A. Lakers" of
the Race to arrive, they all grab the next clue:
Take a marked Jeepney
(the most common form of public transportation in
Manila) in this garage and finish decorating it with
the tools provided. Once the driver of your Jeepney
has deemed the decoration complete, he will give you
your next clue.
So two men and four
women scramble to pick a Jeepney and start to decorate
it (with help from the mechanics and drivers, of
Needless to say, when Colin & Christie arrive at
Malaguena Motors and find out they've been YIELDed...
and a MONSTER hourglass is waiting for them to turn it,
they are NOT happy! Colin stares down Chip as he waits
for the hourglass to run out... and Chip is VERY
uncomfortable. Team Type A decides to watch the
other teams so that they can do it faster when the YIELD
ends. Team Bowling Moms, being mothers and more than
adept at putting broken things back together, are
rocking through the task with smiles on their faces.
They finish their Jeepney first and get a clue:
Now that you've decked
out the car, take it for a ride! But not just
anywhere; have your driver drive you in the Jeepney
to the Giant Duck in Victoria (about 43 miles away).
In the field behind the Giant Duck, you'll find the
Linda & Karen are
THRILLED to be in first place at last... while the other
teams are upset that two women beat them. The Dating
Models are the second team to finish their Jeepney and
take off after the mothers... but not before telling
Colin where they're going. This leaves Chip & Kim...
under the watchful eye of Team Type A. Chip REALLY wants
to get on the road before the YIELD ends... and, sure
enough, they finish the Jeepney before all the sand runs
out. They head out... and Chip feels ashamed at what
he's done. But Kim ensures her husband that he did the
Like sands through the hourglass, so goes Colin &
Christie's YIELD time. No sooner do the last grains fall
than the two daters jump on the clue... even though they
KNOW what they have to do. They make up for lost time by
working as fast as possible, using what they remember
from watching the other teams. Even though they argue
during the task, they work hard to finish the task and
get the driver to catch up with the others (with much,
MUCH prodding by Christie to "go fast, go fast, go
fast!" and to run over pedestrians).
Victoria is the center of the duck population of the
country. The Giant Duck is their local landmark. It is
here that Linda & Karen hop out of the Jeepney in the
rain and bolt for the clue, Brandon & Nicole almost
literally on their heels. As such, both teams get to the
clue mere seconds apart. And the clue is a...:
Plow Or Fowl? (Two common chores on Filipino farms)
PLOW: Choose a marked
mud pen and lead an ox and plow around to till
the soil. Keeping plowing until your plow digs up a
buried rope with your next clue attached.
FOWL: Work together to herd 1000 ducks from one pen
to another 50 yards away. Once all 1000 ducks are in
the second pen, the farmer will give you your next
Team Bowling Moms choose
PLOW... but Nicole would rather do FOWL... and, of
course, Brandon talks her out of it. The mud they must
till through is roughly knee-deep... so this should
prove most interesting. One of each team (Nicole and
Linda) pulls the ox while the other (Brandon and Karen)
pushes the plow down to find that rope. The fields are
not only deep and dingy but also fairly large. But luck
is on the Dating Models' side as Brandon yells, "I FOUND
IT!" and vault into first place. And their reward is:
PIT STOP: Travel back
to Manila and to the next PIT STOP: The Coconut
Palace (a house about 120 miles away made almost
entirely of - what else - coconuts). WARNING: the
last team to arrive may be ELIMINATED!
As Brandon & Nicole run
OUT, Chip & Kim run IN. Nicole asks Chip if Team Type A
is right behind them... but he doesn't know. When the
Married Parents get to the DETOUR, they try to decide on
a task... just when Linda falls on her ass pulling out
the rope with the PIT STOP clue. Chip & Kim decide on
PLOW as Team Bowling Moms gather their sneakers (right
in front of them) and sprint off. Chip leads the ox
while Kim plows... or TRIES to, anyway, since her feet
seem to always get stuck.
The Dating Models try to get a taxi... but the only
transportation to Manila are buses. Linda & Karen find
this out as well. Fortunately, a bus heading for Manila
is JUST arriving. So the two teams get on and make
Meanwhile, Team Type A FINALLY arrives at the Great Duck
and run for the fields... but not before Chip & Kim find
their clue to the PIT STOP and try to find a bus before
the team they screwed over finishes their DETOUR...
which happens to be PLOW. Unfortunately, Colin &
Christie misread the clue... and Colin starts to plow
the field all by himself, letting the ox go where it
wants to. Colin is getting frustrated... not only at the
ox but at Christie's nagging and not-helping. As Colin
contracts Tourette's Syndrome, the Married Parents get
on board a bus to Manila... extra relieved that they
don't have to face down Team Type A until the PIT STOP.
But Colin is TOO "Type A" to just relax. He grabs the
leash of the ox with one hand and the plow with the
other and DEMANDS the ox to get moving in the right
direction. They go all around the field and then some,
the two "lovers" yelling at each other all the time.
Finally, Colin yells at Christie to swallow her pride
and lead the damn ox! She walks out into the mud... and
actually FINDS the clue! No sooner do they read it than
they run out, find a bus waiting for them and speed back
As the teams head to the capital via "Filipino
Greyhound", Colin & Christie decide to get OFF the bus
halfway and take a cab the rest of the way (the clue
doesn't state that they HAVE to take the bus all the
way) in the hopes of beating at least ONE of the other
teams. Chip & Kim get the same idea IN Manila and grab a
cab... as do Brandon & Nicole (though the driver first
thinks it's the "COOKIE Palace". Linda & Karen have some
trouble finding one but eventually find one. It's a
wheel and foot race to the...
PIT STOP: COCONUT PALACE, MANILA, PHILIPPINES
A taxi winds around the front of the palace... two
people get out... they grabs their bags from the trunk
and run around to the back, where Phil and a native girl
welcome them to Manila and the Philippines. Then Phil
says those magic words:
"Chip & Kim, you're team number one!" And, man, are THEY
ecstatic. Chip nearly CRUSHES Phil in a hug...and
that's BEFORE Phil tells them that they're going to
Hawaii courtesy of AA.com! Chip smiles and says, "God
takes care of His idiots, and I'm the first on the
list!" (No arguments there.)
Traffic holds up the other three teams for a while, but
one eventually breaks through and gets to the palace.
And that taxi holds... Linda & Karen! And they are
SHOCKED to maintain second place after all this.
So which duo of God-fearing, egomaniacal,
sell-their-Mom-for-one-more-leg players will get that
coveted third spot? Both the Dating Models and Team Type
A yell at their drivers to go as fast as possible, using
pleading and money to get their point across. And third
place goes to...
Brandon & Nicole!! They thank God for getting them there
and, no matter what kind of leg this may be, they still
have a good chance!
Just like Alison & Donny did back in the second leg,
Colin & Christie go from first... to WORST. However,
UNLIKE Alison & Donny, they are NOT eliminated. See,
this is the final of four pre-determined non-elimination
legs in the Race. So the GOOD news is they're still in
the running and not that far behind the lead.
Of course, the BAD news is that Phil confiscates every
penny to their name and informs them that they'll get no
money to start the next leg. Christie just wants to be
in the Race until the very end. Colin, however, now has
a vendetta against Chip & Kim for YIELDing them after
trusting them. "It is on," says Colin. "It is on!"
So there are four teams ready to take those final steps
back to the U.S. of A. and try to win a million dollars.
Will one team be eliminated beforehand? Will a team be
physically and/or mentally unable to go on? Will any
team lag behind so much that they'll have to be informed
they finished last before they even come NEAR the FINISH
LINE? And, most importantly, where IS the FINISH LINE?!
Find out next week!