I, Chico Alexander, will be guiding you through this leg, as Chris is trying to dig out after being hit by Frances. After the requisite 12-hour schmooze-fest at the oasis, Colin & Christie take off at 10:51pm local time with clue in hand:

Team Type A thinks that Colin's constant anal tendencies will be the end of them as they ask for directions back to Dubai.

Brandon & Nicole (the Dating Models) head out to Dubai at 11:27pm as they notice those "church things" everywhere that are "like Starbucks". They're called mosques, and they will be referred to as such, thank you. Chip & Kim leave 14 minutes after, loving their honeymoon that they've never had. Sixty seconds later, Bowling Moms Linda and Karen leave hot on the Married Parents' trail.

Brandon tries asking for directions, taking on faith that Dubai is in the opposite direction that they're going.

Colin & Christie are the first to reach Wild Wadi, but the park doesn't open until 8am. Seeing as it's nowhere near that time, let's get some sleep.

Finally, Kami & Karli are out at 12:14am, and leg 9 of the Amazing Race is on. Heading out with no money, they resort to manipulation, including but not limited to offers to sing to, massage, and use whatever sexual gifts they may have on the locals. Hey... They work.

Chip & Kim arrive at the park and decide to join in on some sleepy time with Colin & Christie, who say that they can trust the Married Parents more than any other team. Good for them, because the Parents want Team Type A to self-destruct and want to make Colin get overconfident in order to start making stupid mistakes. Meanwhile, Chip jokes about being the wheelman for the mob.

Kami & Karli are totally lost on the streets of Dubai, where they find a nice Englishman and entice him with the prospect of twin females. The charm must have worked, because not only does he gladly lead them in the right direction, but he empties out his pockets for them! Now that's love...

Linda & Karen are third into the park, followed by Brandon & Nicole. Kami, Karli, and their new friend bring up the rear. Once again, it's an even Race as the gates open at the top of the eight o'clock hour. Chip runs by a box with the familiar yellow-and-red route markers, giving Brandon & Nicole a chance to snag the first of five numbered markers. Chip & Kim get #2, the Bowling Moms get #3, Team Type A get #4, and the twins get #5. What does all that mean? I'm glad you asked...

That was just fun to watch! The Dating Models are first down, as they discover...

Now this is weird, as a) Brandon & Nicole drive themselves, b) Chip & Kim take a cab, and c) someone, maybe Linda or Karen, seems to have forgotten their bag at the drop-off point. The remaining teams follow suit. Chip & Kim discover their blunder and make their way back to the park before another Heather & Eve incident can ensue. They won't be alone, as Linda & Karen discover that their bag (and passports) are indeed missing.

Brandon & Nicole are first at the airport, where they discover that the only way to Kolkata is through Mumbai. That flight arrives in Kolkata at 9:30.

Back at the park, Linda & Karen recover their bag and return to the airport, while Chip & Kim recover their car. Linda & Karen follow the cab to the airport and reach there in time to find out... that they owe the cabbie 41 dinar. They contest that they weren't riding in the cab, and apparently a $5 tip wasn't good enough, as now the Bowling Moms face the impending wrath of "some people", leaving Linda led to an office, separate from a worrying Karen.

In the end, they fail to realize that 41 dinar equals US$15, so they pay off the cabbie.

Chip & Kim arrive at the airport, but no flights have left, so again, it's level pegging. Airports... the great equalizer.  Chip & Kim elect to take a later flight from Mumbai that will have them in Kolkata a scheduled 10 minutes later than everyone else.

MUMBAI, INDIA

The four remaining teams board their flights to Kolkata. Chip & Kim make their later flight, but they're holding out for a miracle.

KOLKATA, INDIA

Welcome to Kolkata, the center of Bengal culture and the second-largest city in India. Here, the Racers head through the beautiful and cultural (Team Type A), yet crowded and smelly (Dating Models) streets of Kolkata to the Sahid Minar, Chip & Kim helplessly in last.

But this is where the miracle comes in. Brandon & Nicole have gone flat... tire, that is, just as Chip & Kim have found themselves a shortcut via the bypass route. That and a traffic jam serves to level the playing field as Colin and Christie approach...

Colin & Christie choose not to yield, saying that they don't want to win that way. Instead, they head to a route marker with their next clue and the second Fast Forward in the race. They choose the clue.

Type A is on its way, as Chip & Kim move from last to... second. They also decline to yield, but they do consider the Fast Forward:

They decide not to use it and to just head on to the brick factory. Brandon and Nicole think about the Fast Forward and also decline, as do the other two teams. Amazingly enough, everyone thinks that the Fast Forward has been taken.

Meanwhile, Team Type A arrives at the brickyard to find...

Colin decides to get down and dirty. He watches the experts make them as Chip steps into the arena. His first brick... isn't even a brick. Kim coaches him, as they score their first block. Colin tries the four-blob method (it takes one perfect big blob of mud to do it correctly) and comes up... angry.

Brandon and Linda get into the pit as Colin gets his first. Linda uses the "think about making bread" technique to get her first. But Colin & Christie are in the zone once they make some more. Brandon & Nicole... still nothing. Kami steps in next as Nicole thinks about the Fast Forward. Citing the twins not going for it (or no one else for that matter), they turn tail back to the Fast Forward. 

Colin is on fire as he knocks out his 20 as Kami blocks up one. His reward:

Back with Chip, "My grandfather did this for forty years. He worked for the Alton Brickyard. Big Lou... This is dedicated to you, Lou." It's his 18th. And his 19th. And his 20th? Not okay. The Bowling Moms get their 20, and the Married Parents afterwards. Meanwhile the twins are still stuck at two bricks and a dozen clods. After much pressuring, Kami finally watches the pros do it.

The teams direct their respective cabbies to the "choo-choo". Chip & Kim are the first, in what could be a major coup. Colin, after jumping out of his cab, finds the station just around the corner. Bowling Moms are right behind, however, the Moms only have American dollars remaining. And the station can only accept rupees. The moms frustratingly ask for rubles. Right now, they're scrambling for a place to exchange their funds while the other teams (sans twins and Models) grab the same crowded bus that was used in a previous Race.

Back at the Globe, Kami finally watches watches the guys do it before she proceeds any further. That translates into three more bricks.

Linda & Karen are on their way to the bank... in Calcutta? Nope. They hop their cab up for a changeover, and they head back to the train station.

At the Fast Forward, Brandon & Nicole receive the second half of their Fast Forward ticket:

The tools are out and ready to be used.. but not on the two models, who are apparently too proud of their hair. They perform their own good luck ritual - praying. And they're going to need it, because now THEY are in last place.

The twins have caught up with the Bowling Moms only to find out that the train with the Moms on it is leaving the station. And they're not on it.

Heading over to Sealdah Station, we find that the Parents and Type A are in line to find:

One thing about these taxis is that they don't have any engines. Type A and the Parents, off the bus from Sealdah, where Colin invites Chip to his gun show are quick to notice that, so they have to get out and push while steering. They enlist some help from the locals, and it's a race to the garage. Watch out for the dog!

Meanwhile, it's hitting the bricks for Brandon & Nicole, which turns out to be easier once the pressure's off.

The Moms reach the detour while the leading two teams hurry to the garage. Colin & Christie are first, and they get the final clue of this leg:

The two teams get the benefit of engines as Linda & Karen begin to push. Brandon meets the locals while making his way to Sealdah. Nicole's feeling claustrophobic by the stares. If you were claustrophobic then, she'll be petrified in a few moment. She's eventually released as her team begins to push... just as the Moms and the twins finish up.

PIT STOP: VICTORIA MEMORIAL; KOLKATA, INDIA

The Race continues for the two leaders as they approach the palace, not sure where to park. They take their respective feet in their hands and make their way to be greeted in traditional Hindi fashion by the locals and traditional Amazing Race fashion by Phil. "Colin & Christie, you're team #1!" They're excited, and they should be, as they've also won a vacation in Mexico from our friends at AA.com. Chip & Kim aren't far behind, but alas, no Mexico for them.

The Moms are worried about being last. The twins are beating feet to the castle meanwhile. But it'll be before the Bowling Moms. They're in third, and the twins are in fourth.

Brandon & Nicole finish with their taxi and head to Victoria to await their death knell. Had they went for the Fast Forward, they would've been in first. Bald, but there's nothing wrong with that. Another 2100 miles logged into the logbook of the Dating Models... and they will keep logging in the miles as this is non-elimination stop #3. Brandon: "What?!" Nicole: "Shut up!" Nicole said "Shut up"? Shut up!

But this being an NEL, you know what's coming next. Time for Phil to play the Whammy and take their money. Further, they'll receive no money to start the next leg. But the important thing is that they have hope. Money is the least of their worries next to survival, and that's important to remember, because for the Dating Models, the next leg is "Lord will provide" ONLY.

And Chris, if you can read this, stay safe and well wishes.