"Are You Any Good at
Puzzles?" - August 3
PIT STOP: CATHERINE'S PALACE, PUSHKIN, RUSSIA
After flying 9000 miles across the Atlantic to St.
Petersburg, blocking hockey pucks, drinking vodka and
choking down caviar (and passing out WHILE choking down
caviar), Chip & Kim (Married Parents) arrive at the PIT
STOP in the front of the pack. Brandon & Nicole
(Models), despite being quite ill from the caviar,
managed to check-in in fifth place, Kami & Karli (Team
Twins) are currently in last and Bob & Joyce (Team
Net-Widowers) logged out.
Near the palace Catherine the Great called home, the
teams relax for 12 hours before the next leg begins.
Chip & Kim are the ones with the bulls-eye on their
backsides; they finally attained the lead... and they SO
want to keep it... and the others SO want to knock them
all the way back to the cellar.
At 9:11am, the Married Parents rip open their
envelope... and leg 5 of the Race begins!
Take a train to St. Petersburg (20 miles away) and
enter the Hermitage Museum (one of the largest
museums in the world). Look for Rembrandt's "Return
of the Prodigal Son". Once you find it (among nearly
3 million exhibits), the curator that will follow
you will give you your next clue. You have $123 for
this leg of the Race.
Chip & Kim are psyched
to be #1, but know that they need to work hard to STAY
that way. This includes telling a Russian cabbie they
want to go to the "choo-choo" to get the point across.
Over a half-hour later, Colin & Christie (Team Type A)
depart (the caviar finally getting through Christie's
system, if you know what I mean).
One-by-one, the teams depart. Marshall & Lance (Team
Pizza Brothers) have problems with Marshall's knee,
Charla & Mirna (Team Hi-Lo) are happy to have made it
THIS far... but have problems finding a cab, Brandon &
Nicole consider walking to the station, and Linda &
Karen (Team Bowling Moms) and Kami & Karli are the last
to leave... over three hours behind the leaders.
Chip & Kim arrive at the "choo-choo" station and take
the first train into St. Petersburg without a hitch,
with Colin & Christie behind on the second train. Team
Hi-Lo have even MORE difficulty finding a cab to the "choo-choo"
and end up WALKING the whole way... but STILL wound up
in fourth, behind Marshall & Lance on the third train.
Charla & Mirna DO get help with finding where
Rembrandt's masterpiece will be located, though. The
Models smooch on the fifth train while Team Twins and
Team Bowling Moms take up the rear on the sixth one.
ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA
The Married Parents get out of the ice age that passes
for northern European Russia's weather and into the warm
Hermitage museum. Their
curator/stalker, Sergei, follows them through the
They gawk in awe at how rich and lavish the place is...
and almost completely forget that Team Type A is
figuratively on their heels (though THEY think the
"Prodigal Son" was Jesus Christ). Soon, Marshall & Lance
join the search, Marshall hobbling a little better in
the warmth of the museum.
Chip & Kim, being staunch Christians, recognize the
painting of a man hugging another younger man on his
knees as the two from the parable. Sergei confirms this
and hands him their next clue:
ROUTE INFO: Make your way to the Tower of Cairo (a
600-foot-high observation tower) in Cairo, Egypt (a
2000-mile flight away). Take the elevator to the top to
get your next clue.
As the Married Parents take a cab to the international
airport, Colin & Christie find the painting. But they're
a bit smarter that Chip & Kim; they find a travel agent
nearby who books them an earlier flight than the
Lufthansa flight Chip & Kim get when they arrive at the
airport. Team Pizza Brothers and Team Hi-Lo likewise
find the "Prodigal Son" and head for the airport,
followed closely by the Models. The brothers get word
from the parents about the Luftansa flight and go to
book THEIR tickets, with "Mirna and Shmirna" following
them to the agent and booking the same. Marshall & Lance
DO try to find something earlier with Air France, but
the office is closed.
So Colin & Christie get on their flight, happy to have
jumped into first place. The rest (sans Twins and Moms)
wait to board the second flight. Meanwhile, Kami & Karli
and Linda & Karen are in a footrace around the
Hermitage. Team Twins find it first, but Team Bowling
Moms get help finding it by seeing where the twins
bolted out of. Kami & Karli have a friend in Russia who
takes them to a travel agent who books them on the same
flight as everyone else.
Then Linda & Karen run into a problem. After finding the
painting and getting the clue, they tell the driver to
head to the airport. And he DOES bring them there... but
to the DOMESTIC airport! By the time they get to the
INTERNATIONAL airport, the Lufthansa flight has taken
off (with Team Twins aboard with the rest)... and
leaving the Bowling Moms trying to pick up the spare.
After some searching, they found a flight the next
morning... which connects WITH the Frankfurt flight
everyone else is on! STEEE-RIKE! They're back in the
AIR FRANCE FLIGHT (via Paris): Team Type A
LUFTHANSA FLIGHT (via Frankfurt, arriving in Cairo 50
Team Pizza Brothers, Models, Team Hi-Lo, Married
Parents, Team Twins
LATER LUFTHANSA FLIGHT (via Frankfurt, on same Lufthansa
others): Team Bowling Moms.
Upon arrival in "Gay Paree", Colin & Christie decide
that they're not through with finding faster ways to
Cairo. They manage to find a flight arriving in Egypt a
whopping 12 HOURS sooner then their original connection!
They'll be SO far ahead!
Meanwhile, in Germany, the fearsome five teams lounge
about with each other before hitting the sack and
waiting for tomorrow's flight to Cairo. Well... not ALL
the teams, actually. Team Hi-Lo decide to troll the
ticket counters for a faster flight. Sure enough, Air
Italia has a flight that arrives 50 minutes before the
other flight. They join the rest of the groups, then
wait for them to nod off before sneaking away to their
ticket counter. When the others wake up, they just KNOW
they're behind. What's more, before boarding, they're
met by Linda & Karen, who join them to take Charla &
At 2:35am, Team Type A lands in Cairo and makes their
way to the massive Tower. However, the tower doesn't
open officially until 9am local time. So, after the long
trip, the two lovebirds get a chance to sleep off the
jet lag at a designated "holding area"... and to wake up
to the sight of a 600-foot tower leering over them
(don't know about YOU guys, but I'D be wetting my pants
if I woke to see that structure looking almost like it's
going to collapse on me.)
At 9am, the tower opens, Colin & Christie take the
elevator to the top (still about seven hours ahead) and
Make your way to the Giza Plateau. Follow the yellow
rocks among the Great Pyramids to the Osiris Shaft
to find your next clue.
But, wait... Team Type A
have found something ELSE... something there
are only TWO of in the entire Race:
Go to the Ragab Pharaonic Village. Get a sarcophagus
(an ancient Egyptian coffin) outside the village and
deliver it by ferry to the priest inside the temple
on the other side of the lake. The priest will then
give you directions to the PIT STOP.
Well, what the hell? Why
not become nigh-on-unbeatable?! They decide to do it.
They take a cab to the Village... but walk right PAST
the sarcophagi (or sarcophaguses or whatever) and to the
ferry. When they head across the lake to the temple, the
priest informs them where his "stiff" is located. Back
to the front of the village, they lift the modestly
heavy coffin... and argue on the way to the temple about
trusting each other. But, through it all, they get the
coffin to the priest and receive a HUGE lead in the form
Congratulations, you have won the Fast Forward! Go
directly to the next PIT STOP: The famous Sphinx on
the Giza Plateau.
PIT STOP: SPHINX,
Taking a cab to the Sphinx, Team Type A take the time
(since they have LOTS of it) to enjoy the view of the
Ancient Wonder of the World and the surrounding
pyramids, then casually walk towards Phil who, at
11:27am local time, announces, "Colin & Christie, you're
team number 1!" They just hope they can hang ON to it.
Almost three hours after Team Type A finishes this leg,
Team Hi-Lo touches down in Cairo and make their way to
the airport. They take a cab to the Tower of Cairo and
find the ROUTE INFO and the FAST FORWARD. Feeling that
Colin & Christie had already USED said FAST FORWARD,
they take a cab to the Giza Plateau. 50 minutes, the
five other teams arrive and race to the Tower. Chip &
Kim are amazed to be in the land where most of the Book
of Exodus took place... but they try not to lose focus
of the Race. Each find the Tower, climb it and, likewise
assuming the FAST FORWARD has been taken, head for...
GIZA PLATEAU, EGYPT
At the edge of the Sahara Desert, Charla & Mirna arrive
at the Great Pryamids. But finding the "yellow rocks" is
a LITTLE difficult. As other teams arrive looking for
the rocks, Team Hi-Lo finally finds the Osiris Shaft and
run smack into a...
("Who's up for going down?") Descend 140 feet down
the Osiris Shaft and search this ancient tomb for a
satchel of artifacts. Bring it up to the surface and
present it to the Egyptologist to obtain the next
Mirna is claustrophobic
and Charla's not very gung-ho about descending into a
dark tomb. But Charla agrees to don the spelunking
hardware and climb down into the depths. Mirna starts to
feel guilty about letting her go down, but Charla
doesn't seem to mind too much. She talks contstantly to
a) calm her nerves and b) let Mirna know she's still
Team Twins and Team Bowling Moms are bringing up the
rear in the search for the Shaft. And, in a Race plagued
by injuries, one more occurs. As Linda & Karen try to
catch up to the Twins, Linda twists her ankle in a small
hole. She hurting a fair amount, but she sucks it in
and, with Karen to support her, trudges on.
It takes some time for her to climb 14 stories into the
Earth, but Charla makes it down into the hot shaft and
climbs around the boards and rocks to find the satchel.
Upon finding one in the water, she hefts it out and
starts the long climb up the shaft. She has to take
several breaks along the vertical ladders but, much to
Mirna's relief, get out of the shaft and gives the bag
to the Egyptologist. But the "next clue" is not a ROUTE
INFO envelope... but a map.
The satchel contains pieces to an Egyptian puzzle. The
trick here is that a small triangular piece of the
puzzle is missing. If they overlay the puzzle on TOP of
the map given, the triangular section will point to the
next clue, a corner of one of the big pyramids around
the area. Team Hi-Lo assembles the puzzle... but doesn't
figure out what the map has to do with it until just
before Chip & Kim and Brandon & Nicole arrive at the
shaft. Armed with their knowledge, they make their way
to the next clue.
As Kami & Karli and Linda & Karen get lost, Chip and a
reluctant Brandon don the gear and head down into the
shaft to get their artifacts. Meanwhile, Team Hi-Lo
finds the next route marker and have to decide on a...
ROCK & ROLL OR HUMP & RIDE?
ROCK & ROLL: Move two 300-pound concrete slabs 100
yards, using the same system Hebrews used to move
slabs to make the Pyramids. The man on the other end
will give you your next clue as soon as the slabs
cross the line.
HUMP & RIDE: Ride horses leading camels packed with
carpets on a one-mile trek. When you arrive at a
carpet merchant and unload the carpets, he will give
you your next clue.
Seing as how Charla
can't POSSIBLY help move blocks as big as her and ten
times as heavy, they decide to ride the horses. Just one
problem: the HUMP & RIDE closes in less than 5 minutes!
They have to boogie! With a blow of Charla's whistle by
Mirna, they stop the caravan from leaving without them.
But... Charla on a big horse? SHE can hardly believe it.
But, after dressing just like a jockey, she gets hefted
up on the horse and the one-mile trek begins.
Back at the shaft, while Brandon and Chip find their
satchels, Team Pizza Brothers choose (obviously) Lance
to do the ROAD BLOCK. The Models are baffled about the
puzzle/map quandary until the Married Parents show them
the secret. Lance is just coming out of the shaft and he
and Marshall decide to follow them instead of figuring
out the puzzle (which is legal this time, because they
weren't looking for an envelope).
The three teams arrive at the DETOUR... and, since BUMP
& RIDE is no longer an option for ANY of them and they
don't care to wait for sunrise, they all decide to ROCK
& ROLL. While they tackle this daunting task, Team Twins
FINALLY find Osiris' Shaft, with Kami deciding to go
down... as soon as she finds out what a satchel looks
like. And Team Bowling Moms? They're wandering around
the desert like Moses and Aaron, having lost sight of
Kami & Karli when Linda twisted her ankle.
As the sun sets, Charla & Mirna arrive with their camels
and carpets and receive their final clue of the day:
PIT STOP: Make your way to the next PIT STOP, the
Sphinx. WARNING: the last team to check in may be
As they hustle towards
the large riddle-spewing edifice, the Models, Married
Parents and Team Pizza Brothers start their hefting of
the rocks. Chip decides to pull while Kim switches the
logs and tracks underneath, and Brandon & Nicole follow
the same structure. Lance will have to pull for his team
while Marshall TRIES to help with the logs and tracks.
Charla & Mirna arrive and hug Phil in second place
(though, chances are, Colin & Christie are almost ready
to leave on Leg 6). Charla's happy for being able to
visit the Pyramids and ride a horse.
Back at ROCK & ROLL, Brandon & Nicole and Chip & Kim are
WHIZZING through the task... while Marshall & Lance have
a tough time. And, back at the shaft, Kami hauls up the
satchel just as Team Bowling Moms arrive and Karen
decides to perform the ROAD BLOCK. Kami thinks the
puzzle pieces are useless and tries to concentrate on
the map. She and Karli end up meandering towards the
Pyramids, stating, "We're clueless." (Like that's a
surprise!) Team Bowling Moms figure out the puzzle and
head for the right pyramid.
Chip stops his hauling to help Brandon & Nicole out with
their logs. This, of course, almost costs the
Married Parents the race for third place, but Chip
defends his actions by saying he's a helper by nature.
Still, the Married Parents finish the DETOUR first and
head for the Sphinx, with the crafty Models right behind
As Chip & Kim make their
way to the PIT STOP, who should they run into by Team
Twins. Again, being the helper that he is, he leads the
girls towards the DETOUR, putting their past animosity
behind them. Chip even asked for forgiveness from Kami
and she replied, "You're redeemed." This, however,
allows Brandon & Nicole to pass them and take third
place, while they finish in fourth. As Kami & Karli
start the lugging of the stones, Linda & Karen arrive
and start the fight to stay out of last place... just as
Team Pizza Brothers FINISH and head for the PIT STOP in
Linda & Karen manage to shlep the stones across...
though they think it's hopeless. There's no way to beat
the Twins to the Sphinx. And they're right, as Kami &
Karli arrive in sixth. Then Phil gives the bad news to
Linda & Karen as they show up: they are the last team to
arrive. However, there's some GOOD news: this is the
first of four non-elimination legs! The Bowling Moms are
still in it!
Uh... but before Linda can jump up and down on that bad
ankle, Phil has some MORE bad news. Remember what he
said at the start of the Race about the last place team
in a non-elimination leg having the Race made "very,
very difficult" for them? Well, Phil asks that Linda &
Karen surrender all the cash given to them during the
Race... and informs them that they will receive NO money
to start the next leg. Uh... yeah. Looks like the
Bowling Moms are literally in the gutter!