You Don't Get Paid
Unless You Win
(With the CMAs in the rear view, it's
back to Racing)
In a Leg apparently sponsored by Snapple
(TM), the Racers took a tea-totting trip from China to India where they
guzzled many a cup of papaya and mango tea, painted Ganesha statues and
delivered books via rickshaw "school bus". When it was all done, Gary &
Mallory (Team KY/Dad) won some Indian cuisine, a nice Bollywood-esque
floor show and one million...rupees (about US$20,000). Sadly, Margie &
Luke (Team Hear My Song!) took longest at the ROADBLOCK and were
Philiminated. Seven teams still Race for the million dollars they missed
before...who will be gone next?
PIT STOP #6
FOUNTAIN OF JOY AT MAIDAN
1318 LOCAL TIME
After chowing down on the food, enjoying
the show and getting a good night's rest, Gary & Mallory start Leg 7
with this clue:
FLY TO THE CITY OF
Fly to the city of Varanasi,
India (nearly 700 miles away), the religious heart of the country on
the banks of the Ganges River. When you arrive, make your way
through the streets to "Tonga Stand" to find your next clue.
You have $80 for this Leg of the
As they depart, they think
they have what it takes to win it this time. The other teams' departure
times (all local):
Jet & Cord (Team Cowboy Bebop): 1352
Ron & Christina (Team Who's Your Daddy?): 1353
Zev & Justin (Team Puzzle Pieces): 1354
Kent & Vyxsin (Team Dating Goths): 1355
Kisha & Jen (Team Cardinal Sisters): 1403
"Flight Time" & "Big Easy" (aka Herb & Nate, Team Trotters): 1345
Zev is ready to LEAVE India
and its crowds behind. Kent & Vyxsyn decide to go to a travel agency
since they're not sure if they can buy tickets at the airport (don't
laugh; I'm sure there are some places you can't). They're also reminded
that they were Philiminated IN India in their LAST Race... so they hope
karma catches up for them.
NETAJI SUBHASH CHANDRA BOSE
JUST NORTH OF KOLKATA, INDIA
Team KY/Dad arrive at the
airport and go to the ticket counter, looking for quick flights to
Varanasi. They find a flight on Kingfisher Airlines that lands at
10:45am local time. Team Who's Your Daddy, Team Puzzle Pieces and Team
Cardinal Sisters go to the Kingfisher counter and book the same flight.
The Goths find an outdoors travel agency and find the same flight. When
Team Cowboy Bebop arrive, they go to Jet Airways and find a flight that
arrives in Varanasi at 11:45am, apparantly unaware of the Kingfisher
flight. Cord takes the agent's word for it that it's the quickest
flight, though. When Team Trotters finally makes it, they find the
Kingfisher flight as well.
After booking, Ron &
Christina leave the airport and partake in what's become Ron's obsession
this Race: eating. Well, heck, at least they have TIME for that now,
right? And, besides, Christina's getting married next year so... he
wants all the father/daughter time together they can get. Meanwhile,
Gary & Mallory bone up on Varanasi at an internet cafe.
The next morning, the seven
teams take off for their connection city:
Jet & Cord don't see any of
the other teams... and the other teams don't see Jet & Cord. While the
other six head onto the Kingfisher flight, that's when it hits the
cow-bros that MAYBE they're NOT on the fastest flight. They check the
departures... and THAT'S when they notice. Ut oh. Deja vu all over
again; it was on Leg 7 when they forgot a map and NEARLY got
Philiminated in the last Race they were in. They're gonna be an hour
behind EVERYBODY when they arrive at:
The front six land without
incident in the religious city and take cabs to find the "tonga stand".
Kent & Vysxin gets a slow driver (who bonks Kent's head with the trunk
door). Zev & Justin gets a cab running on empty and needs to stop to
fuel up. Ron & Christina have to be redirected due to a police line.
Herb & Nate pass Kisha & Jen AND Gary & Mallory en route, with the
driver leaning on the horn the whole way.
But it's Team Dating Goths
that arrive at the tonga stand first and receive this:
WHO'S READY TO
SEARCH FOR THE MEANING OF LIFE?
The streets of Varanasi are full
of "sadhus", holy man who have devoted their entire lives to prayer
and meditation. One team member must use six of the seven included
photographs and search the streets for the sadhus that match the
photos. Each sadhu will give you a small clue. Once you have all
six, rearrange them until the "meaning of life" is revealed
("ONCE/YOU'RE OVER/THE/HILL YOU/PICK/UP SPEED"). Once you figure it
out, find the seventh sadhu, repeat the "meaning of life" to him and
he will hand you your next clue.
Kent decides to search...
and, as he put it, "Times Square's got nothing on" the crowded streets
here. Team Trotters arrive and "Big Easy" Nate starts the search. Jen
searches for Team Cardinal Sisters, followed briskly by Gary for Team
KY/Dad and Ron for Team Who's Your Daddy. Lastly for the lead pack is
Justin for Team Puzzle Pieces. Aaaaaaand Team Cowboy JUST landed. Zev
(having Asperger's) is NOT liking how busy and loud the streets are as
he waits with the other teams.
Kent finds one sadhu... but
he's the LAST one he's supposed to give the "meaning of life" to. Nate
finds the one with the "THE" clue and directs Jen to him. The two decide
to join forces for now (sort of an impromptu INTERSECTION) to find
others. They both find the "YOU'RE OVER" clue and continue the search...
separately. Ron doesn't seem to be LOOKING at the pictures while he
searches. Justin finds "THE", Kent and Gary both find "PICK" at the same
time and Justin is right behind them. Kent and Gary join forces for now,
Kent promising to take Gary to the last sadhu once they're done. Jen
finds "ONCE", Nate finds "HILL YOU" and Justin gets "YOU'RE OVER". The
last to get their first is Ron.
Jen gets her six clues first
and finds the seventh sadhu before she starts to rearrange. She
correctly gives the "meaning of life" (which sounds more like a bumper
sticker to me) and the sahdu gives her the clue to open with Kisha. Nate
and Justin join together to look for THEIR last sadhu. But Team Cardinal
Sisters leave the others before opening this:
MAKE YOUR WAY TO
Head by foot or taxi to the Tulsi
Ghat area of town and find the local "swaminath akhara", a
wrestling, strength and fitness club. On the grounds, you'll find
your next clue next to a strongman swinging weighted balls on
As the girls take a tuk-tuk
(Indian moped taxi) out, Nate and Justin arrive at the last sadhu and
work out the "meaning of life" together. This means Team Trotters and
Team Puzzle Pieces leave more-or-less tied for 2nd/3rd. Aaaaand NOW Jet
& Cord arrive. And the girls left behind are nervous; they remember
and/or heard that the cowboys went from worst-to-first WHILE having to
do a SPEED BUMP; they can be dangerous when cornered. Cord decides to
search for the "last place" team. He jogs through the streets, head on a
swivel as he finds each sadhu as fast as possible.
And Ron is more-or-less
lost, just asking people, "Sadhus? Sadhus?". Meanwhile, Gary and Kent
find THEIR last clue... and Kent BOLTS away from Gary. He finds the last
sadhu, speaking the "meaning" and he and Vyxsyn head for the akhara in
4th. A pissed-off Gary finds the sadhu and he and a ear-plugged Zev
leave in 5th. Now Christina is worried.
The teams barrel in their
tuk-tuks to the akhara. While Kisha & Jen unload in the area, it's Zev &
Justin and Herb & Nate who find the clue and hit the:
FEED THE FIRE or
FEED THE BUFFALO?
FEED THE FIRE: Travel on the
Ganges to a local milkman in Sakka Ghat. Make fifty traditional fuel
patties out of buffalo manure and stick them onto a brick wall to
dry. Then load a stove with fuel patties and light the fire to boil
milk for the nearby children. Once the fire is lit, the milkman will
give you your next clue..
FEED THE BUFFALO: Cross the
Ganges and pick up two larges bale of hay for a vendor. Each bundle
has an address attached to it. Re-cross the Ganges to
Ksameshwar Ghat and make your way through
narrow streets to find the address on your bundle. When you reach
the right address, the milkman will hand you your next clue.
Either way, choose a marked boat
down the nearby steps towards the Ganges.
Both teams decide to FEED
THE BUFFALO. As they leave on the boats, Kisha & Jen arrive and decide
to FEED THE FIRE, not sure they can heft a bale of hay around. The four
men find the hay on a sandbar and haul them into their boats. They reach
the Ksameshwar Ghat area they're supposed to deliver to and get to
moving (though Zev's a little slow).
"Once you're over the hill,
you pick up speed," says an American man to an Indian sadhu. The sadhu
nods and hands Cord his clue. Team Cowboy Bebop leave the ROADBLOCK in
6th... and Christina is VERY worried. As she SHOULD be, since Ron is
TRULY lost. See, HIS problem was that he thought all the sadhus wouldn't
be in full garb in the heat. He also thought they'd all be by the Ganges
in case they wanted to cool off. So he heads back INTO the streets...
and FINALLY gets his second clue: "THE". Yeah,...that's not confusing at
ALL to an old man.
Meanwhile, at Sakka Ghat,
Team Cardinal Sisters arrive at the milkman's and gawks at the pile of
buffalo dung. Good thing the producers allow the girls to wear rubber
gloves. Doesn't help the small, though, and Kisha is gagging. As they
pat those pasture patties into fuel, Team Dating Goths arrive at the
akhara and choose FIRE. Team KY/Dad arrive a little later and likewise
choose FIRE. As Gary & Mallory ride along the river, they pass a
cremation ceremony. Looked a bit disgusting to Mallory at first... but
she realizes this is how they do things in this holy land.
Back at the ROADBLOCK, Ron
finally gathers all six clues and reads the "meaning" to the last sadhu
and he and Christina are finally free to leave in last. Back in
Ksameshwar Ghat, Team Puzzle Pieces and Team Trotters run into a mess of
buffalo, some which try to eat the hay they're hauling. The b-ballers
are tall enough to keep it high above the cattles' heads. Not so much
the shorter friends. Back at Sakka Ghat, the two sisters argue about
Kisha "dismantling' Jen's work.
Zev & Justin and Herb & Nate
finally arrive at the given address. Their clue: an 8x10 color glossy
photograph without circles or arrows or a paragraph on the back... but
some words on the bottom: "PIT STOP: RAMNAGAR FORT". Roughly translated,
MAKE YOUR WAY TO
THE NEXT PIT STOP!
Cross the Ganges to the city of
Ramnagar, then find Ramnagar Fort, an 18th century fort and the PIT
STOP of this Leg of the Race.
WARNING! The last team to
check-in MAY BE ELIMINATED!
Both teams get tuk-tuks and
head out. Meanwhile, Jet & Cord arrive at the DETOUR in 6th... and,
being cowboys, they just HAVE to do the hay one. As they ride to pick up
their hay, Team Cardinal Sisters think they're done with their fifty...
but the attendant says they're not. She takes off three patties that are
either too big or too small, so the girls have to re-do them. They
quickly re-pack them... and the attendant give the thumbs-up. The fire
is lit, the milk is set and the milkman gives them the same photo,
letting them leave in 3rd. As they leave in a tuk-tuk, Kent & Vyxsin
arrive. As they start to get their @#$% together, Gary & Mallory show up
and start on THEIR patties. More deja vu: Mallory's wearing the same
shirt she wore when she shovelled manure in Russia in the LAST Race.
Yeah, that shirt's in the trash when they get home.
The two tuk tuks arrive in
front of the fort. Four men leap out of it and run into it. Two manage
to outrace the others and hit the mat in front of Phil and two Indian
people, who put cute dots on their heads. Phil then gives the good news:
"Flight Time & Big
Easy,...you are Team # 1!"
From worst to first, Team
Trotters prevail! And their prize? A 5-night stay on the Big Island of
Hawai'i, including a chopper ride over a volcano, courtesy of
Travelocity. Right behind them, Zev & Justin check-in as Team # 2. Zev
is proud of himself for being able to handle the large crowds despite
Back on the DETOUR, Jet &
Cord gather their hay and make way for Ksameshwar Ghat... and Team Who's
Your Daddy get TO the DETOUR and decide to FEED THE BUFFALO. At FEED THE
FIRE, Team Dating Goths ask for a check... and the attendant removes one
for being too big. Gary & Mallory catch a clue from this and adjust
accordingly. They think they're done but the attendant says otherwise.
Kent & Vyxsin ask again... and they get the thumbs up. They light the
stove and depart in 4th. Team KY/Dad are right behind them in 5th,
though. The Goths take a boat... but the "driver" gets into an argument
with someone else and they demand to be taken back. Vyxsin is so wanting
out... that she actually dives INTO the river and PULLS the boat back to
shore. Kent wants to pull her out and get her to calm down, but they
both march back up the steps to get a tuk-tuk.
While Team Cowboy Bebop
start marching through the streets WITH their bales, Ron & Christina
arrive to PICK UP their bales. Keisha & Jen are checked-in as Team # 3
as Jet & Cord exit the DETOUR in 6th and get their photograph clue. Ron
& Christina (some undetermined time later, though the editing makes it
seem like it was right after Jet & Cord) drop off THEIR bales in last
and head to the PIT STOP.
Gary & Mallory are
checked-in at #4 and Jet & Cord as #5. This leaves the Goths and the
Sino-Americans, one going by tuk-tuk (which they force someone else out
of) and one going by water taxi, both remnants from the 12th Race. Who
will make it first?
A man and a woman enter the
fort and hit the mat. After getting the dots on their heads, Phil tells
them, "Kent & Vyxsin,...you're still in the Race; you are Team # 6."
Ron & Christina were first
runners-up three years ago. But when they hit the mat and get their
decoration, Phil tells them that they're out of this Race. Ron says it
was a blessing to have Raced again, especially with her daughter getting
hitched soon. And Christina gives the most important lesson in this
Race: "Winning isn't everything."
Although...I doubt the six
remaining teams would agree...
AFTER LEG 7:
KOLKATA, INDIA to RANMAGAR, INDIA
1) "Flight Time" & "Big
Easy" (+6) - Hawai'i
2) Zev & Justin (+2) - Cancun, Costa Rica
3) Kisha & Jen (+3)
4) Gary & Mallory (-3) - Express Pass (USED), Snapple(TM) prize
5) Jet & Cord (-3) - $5000
6) Kent & Vyxsin (-1)
ELIMINATED) Ron & Christina (-4)
To see this episode in its
entirety, or to apply to be a contestant on "The Amazing Race", visit
the official website at