I Never Looked So
Foolish in My Whole Entire Life
After a task at the Starting Line lead to
Amanda & Kris (Team Amandakris) to earn an Auto U-TURN, they and ten
other teams shot across the Pacific to the land of Aus. After swimming
with sharks and sailing on the bay, Gary & Mallory (Team KY/Dad) arrived
at a surfing beach to receive two things from Phil: an EXPRESS PASS to
skip any task on the Race...and another clue, making this a "gas-and-go"
PIT STOP! Nine others got their clue and sped off...but Jet & Cord (Team
Cowboy Bebop) are stuck at a ROADBLOCK...and are already WELL behind.
The cowboy bros are scratching their
heads...or, actually, JET is...trying to decipher the clue that is the
second half of this...
WHO'S READY TO GET
Prepare to face your most primal
fears. One of you must don scuba gear and search a
1.5-million-gallon tank filled with sharks (some as long as 60 feet)
and a stingray (as big as a queen-sized bed) to find a large compass
somewhere on the floor. The rim of the compass has nautical flags on
them and their corresponding English letters. Take the compass
outside to a string of nautical flags and work out the destination.
Go there, find the person also told in the flags and give him the
secret catch phrase (also in the flags) to get your next clue
(The destination: "MANLY
16-FT SKIFF SAILING CLUB"; the person: "FIND THE COMMODORE"; the
message: "I AM BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA")
Jet figured out the destination and
person...but twice flunked on the message.
PIT STOP #1
MANLY REGION, SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA
Meanwhile, Kent & Vyxsin (Team Dating
Goths) reads the clue given to them (and the nine team in front of them)
A MYSTERY DOWN
Make your way back to Sydney and
get "To Sail To Stop". There, you will sign up for a charter flight
leaving tomorrow morning to Broken Hill, 684 miles from Sydney. Only
the first six teams can sign up for the earlier flight. Once you
arrive, your next clue will be awaiting on the cars outside the
(The trick: figure out that
"To Sail To Stop" is the name of a HUGE anchor monument beside Sydney's
Team KY/Dad hail a cab...and
the cabbie has NO clue what "Sail to Stop" is. Team Amandakris - second
out of the "gas-and-go" - Kisha & Jen (Team Cardinal Sisters) - third -
and Zev & Justin (Team Puzzle Pieces) - fourth - likewise get clueless
cabbies. "Flight Time" & "Big Easy" (Team Trotters, 5th) decides to take
a ferry back to Sydney and they are joined by Jaime & Cara (Team
Hollaback Girls, 6th) and their AR14 Alliance-mates Margie & Luke (Team
Hear My Song, 7th). (I don't care what you say; I think it's cute that
Luke calls the cheerleaders his "Race girlfriends"). Ron & Christina
(Team Who's Your Daddy, 8th) argue between taxi and ferry...which was
(one of) their folly(-ies) in AR12.
Back at the ROADBLOCK, Jet
thinks he FINALLY has it. He and Cord march to the Skiff Club, meet the
commodore and say, "I am between the Devil and the deep blue sea." The
commodore hands them the last clue out of the ROADBLOCK:
JOIN THE CREW!
Head for the club and change into
sailing gear. Then you will help a small crew sail a 16-foot skiff
sailboat out onto Manly Bay. When you get to a certain boat, a
seaman will fire a gun and only THEN will you be allowed to sail
towards one of three large numbered bouys that have your next clue
attached to them. You may NOT swim to the clue. Do NOT open your
clue until you have returned to the club.
The men cowboy up and get
ready for the high seas!
Back in the biggest city of
the country-continent-island, the cabbed teams try figure out how
they're going to figure out what "To Sail To Stop" means. Team Cardinal
Sisters arrive at the Maritime Museum and get help from the information
kiosk attendant. Team Puzzle Pieces join them and they all learn of the
anchor at Town Hall, walking distance from the museum.
Oh, wait...(makes mental
count)...one other team, isn't there? It's Mel & Mike (Team West
Hollywood, 9th)...and Mel is struggling physically, particularly in the
legs, as they catch the next ferry, Team Dating Goths right behind. As
the ferry takes off, Mel collapses on the seats, crying. Mike likewise
cries for his father, not wanting to "kill him for...some joy ride". Mel
says the choice to do this Race was his own responsibility...and he'll
see it through. On the same ferry, Team Hear My Song finds a woman with
a laptop and net-access and discover about the anchor sculpture and, of
course, share the info with Jaime & Cara.
SYDNEY TOWN HALL
Anchor ahoy! The sisters and
the friends find the monument and find the sign-up for the flight
(courtesy of Regional Express Airlines: "Our heart is in the country").
They are the first to pen their names for the 6am flight...and to say
Kisha & Jen are ecstatic is an understatement.
Meanwhile, the ferry unloads
the non-cabbed teams. they all head to separate people to figure out the
clue. The AR14 Alliance, who ALREADY figured it out, are the 3rd and 4th
teams on the early flight. Gary & Mallory are lost, not realizing that
they've gone from the top of the heap...to more-than-likely the later
flight out. Fortunately for them, they run into both Ron & Christina AND
Amanda & Kris. Now they can ALL be lost TOGETHER...at least until a
local tells them about Town Hall. And awaaaaaaay they GO!
Mel & Mike hobble their way
to the anchor and the first flight. And, from outta nowhere, Kent &
Vyxsin arrive as the last team on the 6am flight!
Also meanwhile, Jet & Cord
get the hang of sailing (to a degree) and grab the clue from the buoy.
They get back and read:
MAKE YOUR WAY TO
THE PIT STOP!
Head for Shelly Beach, one of the
hottest surfing beaches along the Pacific Coast. The PIT STOP for
this Leg of the Race is on the beach amid the crowds..
WARNING! The last team to
check-in MAY BE ELIMINATED!
That last part has them
worried...but they go anyway. Phil says those awful words: "I'm sorry to
tell you that you are the last team to arrive."
Then comes the GOOD news:
this is the first non-elimination Leg of the Race, the first time EVER
that the first PIT STOP in a Race didn't kick someone out! The bros are
hyped to be still in it...though they have some hauling to do back to
The other teams start to
filter in: Herb & Nate are first on the second flight, then the three
other "lost" teams sign up. Team Cowboy Bebop...they're having a HECK of
a time finding where "To Sail To Stop" is...and the sun is going down.
As the other ten teams head for the regional airport, Jet & Cord pound
the pavement at night for a clue. At last, they find a cabbie who knows
where it is. They seem content that they went from HOURS behind...to
only a HALF-hour behind after the long day they had. And, since they're
on the same flight as the U-TURNed Team Amandakris, their odds have just
become MUCH better.
FLIGHT (LEAVING 6:05am):
Kishi & Jen, Zev & Justin,
Jaime & Cara, Margie & Luke, Mel & Mike, Kent & Vyxsin
FLIGHT (LEAVING 6:30am):
Herb & Nate, Ron & Christina, Gary & Mallory, Amanda &
Kris (Auto U-TURNed), Jet & Cord
BROKEN HILL, AUSTRALIA
The first prop plane touches down
in the mining town and the dozen Americans
(including a much-better-feeling Mel) sprint out of the terminal and to
the cars with the clues on the windshield. And that clue goes as such:
INTO THE LIVING
Drive yourselves to the Living
Desert, a vast barren landscape in the Australian Outback. Along the
road somewhere, you'll find your next clue.
Team Hear My Song decides to
follow Team Hollaback Girls' lead and get full directions at a gas
station. Team Puzzle Pieces seem to know where they're going as do Team
Cardinal Sisters. Team West Hollywood and Team Dating Goths find their
own way as well. The Living Desert wasn't that hard to find; the fairly
big sign on the road points it out. So while three teams make their way
into the Outback, the three others make sure they get the RIGHT
directions before going in. (Uh,...is it a good idea for Luke to drive?!
The second flight lands and
the other ten Racers get THEIR clue to the reserve/ And, for ONCE, Team
KY/Dad know EXACTLY where they're going. It's Team Who's Your Daddy
that's clueless this time around)
LIVING DESERT RESERVE
9km FROM BROKEN HILL, AUSTRALIA
Zev & Justin are the first
to spy the clue box, with Kisha & Jen and Mike & Mel right on their
bumpers. And they open to find the Race's first...
SPIRIT WORLD or
SPIRIT WORLD: Use traditional
materials (mostly small rocks) to create a copy of a spiritual
Aboriginal ground mosaic shown nearby. Once properly finished, you
must perform a traditional dance on top of your mosaic to raise the
ancesteral spirits. When the dance is complete, you will receive
your next clue.
NATURAL WORLD: Using natural
paint made from water and a clay-like pigment, make an Aboriginal
territorial marker. You do this by putting the paint in your mouth
and spitting it out onto your "canvas", making four images (one of
each teammates' handprint, a stencil of a kangaroo and a stencil of
a lizard). If the images are made correctly, you'll receive your
(And, remember, Amanda &
Kris must do BOTH tasks, having been Auto U-TURNed at the start of the
Being that Zev is very
artistic (according to Justin), the two friends opt for SPIRIT WORLD.
Right behind them, the sisters and the father/son likewise opt for the
mosaic. They start to outline their mosaic in the dirt as the didgeridoo
man hums out his one-note song. The next three teams (Jaime & Cara,
Margie & Justin and Kent & Vyxsin) all choose SPIRIT WORLD as well.
The second-plane group
starts to trickle in, starting with Gary & Mallory and the
aforementioned Amanda & Kris. The dad/daughter team choose SPIRIT WORLD
and the couple choose the same...for the FIRST part of their DETOUR,
anyway. All right, all right...EVERYONE ELSE chooses SPIRIT WORLD as
well. Only Team Amandakris will seemingly touch NATURAL WORLD as it
So twenty-two Americans
transfer rocks and piece together mosaics. The stress is high...Mel has
a cramp...and "Big Easy" is digging the dancing of the locals there. Who
will be the first to finish and start doing the Aboriginal Watusi on it?
Team Cardinal Sisters
finish...but doesn't get the nod from the elder lady judge. It's Team
Dating Goths who gets the approval first and gets set to dance. The
issue: Kent is running around asking for "children", the younger
Aboriginals in the dance circle (and, yes, it seems as creepy as it
sounds). As they get set for their dance, other teams finish...but Team
Hear My Song thinks they don't need other dancers and just flail on top
of their mosaic. Team Puzzle Pieces do the same.
And, y'know what? Those last
two did it RIGHT! Zev & Justin are first out of the DETOUR and they get
yet another mysterious clue:
FIND THE MAGPIES!
Drive yourselves back to Broken
Hill and search for the "Home of the Magpies". There, you'll find
your next clue.
(Said "Home" is the Central
Football Club, a soccer/track field in the town).
As they split, Margie & Luke
depart in second...and Kent & Vyxsin wonder what the hell they're doing
wrong. Kishi & Jen find out what's wrong with THEIR mosaic and set it
right just as Team West Hollywood get the nod and start THEIR dance. The
goths dismiss the children and try to dance themselves...but not ON the
mosaic. Mel & Mike leave in third...and Kent & Vyxsin FINALLY get their
@#$% together and leave in fourth. The sister are on their tails in
fifth, leaving Team Hollaback Girls as the last of the first flight
still working. The other five teams stress a bit more over the exactness
of their mosaic, particularly Ron & Christina (who speak in Chinese as
to not give anything away to the other teams). The cheerleaders leave in
The other teams get the hint
about dancing ON the mosaic. Team Cowboy Bebop leave in 7th, Team KY/Dad
in 8th, Team Trotters in 9th. Team Who's Daddy STILL don't have the
right mosaic as Amanda & Kris finish their dance. BUT...they still have
NATURAL WORLD to do...so it's a race for last in the Race. Team
Amandakris don't do spit takes well...and Ron & Christina get it right
and start to dance. Kris is critical at Amanda's technique...Ron is
confused about the "on top of mosaic" part...who leaves in 10th?
It's Who's Your Daddy!
BUT...they have to clean up the stuff Ron emptied from his jacket so
that he could gather rocks and stuff...so Team Amandakris gets THEIR
clue last...but are VERY close to 10th! They might be only the SECOND
team in Race history to NOT be Philiminated after being U-TURNed!
Back at Silent H...er,
BROKEN Hill, Team Puzzle Pieces ask a local about the Magpies and get
CENTRAL FOOTBALL CLUB
BROKEN HILL, AUSTRALIA
They ain't Heckle & Jeckle,
but the friends find the Magpies' home field and run to the middle to
find the clue box and this:
TIME FOR A "ROO'D"
First, both of you must dress as
kangaroos. Then, search for your next destination using the included
Your costumes are in the locker
room underneath the grandstands and are marked with your names.
(The "map" is the periodic
table of elements. Many of the streets in Broken Hill are named after
such elements. The teams must use the table and find out what's so
special about the two highlighted ones ("Hg" and "Bi"). Mercury St. [Hg]
and Bismuth St. [Bi] are the only two "elemental" streets that cross
each other in Broken Hill; the clue will be found at the intersection of
the two streets.)
As Zev & Justin get
marsupialed up, Margie & Luke (AGAIN with Luke driving) find the field
and the clue. The costumes come with "spring boots" to facilitate the
"hopping" of a kangaroo...and Margie finds that hilarious on Zev. She
ain't laughing when she dons it and pitches forward. Team Dating Goths
arrive at the field in 3rd, Team West Hollywood in fourth. The first two
teams decide to join forces to figure out what the heck needs doing.
Jaime & Cara pass by the
roo'd-up teams before finding THEIR costumes in fifth, and Jet & Cord
arrive in sixth. Herb & Nate arrive in seventh (and I find it hard to
believe they made kangaroo suits in their size). Meanwhile, the two
front teams ask a passerby to work out the periodic symbols on her
phone's net-access. They get "Mercury" as Kisha & Jen pass them by,
hitting the clue in eighth (and going into the men's locker room by
accident). When Team Puzzle Pieces and Team Hear My Song get "Bismuth",
the passerby notes that the two are streets that intersect just a hop
down the...I mean, just down the road. As Gary & Mallory arrive in 9th,
Kent & Vyxsin...get lost. They run into Team Hollaback Girls, though,
so...that should help? Turns out Kent knows the elements (which shock
the redheads)...but can't make them click as the other 'roos stampede
Meanwhile, the final two
teams arrive at the clue box; Ron & Christina is 10th, Amanda & Kris
still in last but minutes behind. Meanwhile, Margie throws a foot...or
the foot covering of her roo-suit...but Luke yells (as only he can) to
keep going. She stops, though, to turn back and pick it up...meaning
that Zev & Justin reach the next clue at the corner of Bismuth and
DRIVE YOURSELVES TO
THE NEXT PIT STOP!
Keeping your kangaroo suits on
(though you can remove the boots), drive yourselves to Junction
Mine, a former silver mine built in 1894.
WARNING! The last team to
check-in WILL BE ELIMINATED!
Getting the spring-boots off
is NOT easy as they make it back to their car...and Justin mock-ows as
his "tail" is slammed in a door...but they're off in any case.
Meanwhile, Margie & Luke still scramble to find the foot covering. Upon
arriving at Mercury St., the mob of kangaroos (and, yes, that IS what a
group of roos is called) find it and Mel picks it up. He returns it to
Margie with Luke giving him a thank-you kiss on the cheek.
BROKEN HILL, AUSTRALIA
Out of the car and up to the
mine the two "joey" friends go, hauling their bags uphill to find Phil
and a miner waiting for them at the spot. Team Puzzle Pieces is declared
the first Team #1 of this Race (right after Phil called them
"ridiculous")! And their prize for winning the Leg? A five-night stay in
Cancun courtesy of (who else?) the Roamin' Gnomes of Travelocity(TM)!
Oh...and, just to be safe, Phil asks them if still they have their
passports...which they do. For now, Zev needs a nap.
Meanwhile the mob find the
corner of Hg & Bi and snag the PIT STOP clue: "Flight Time" and "Big
Easy" in 2nd, Kishi & Jen in 3rd, Margie & Luke in 4th, Mel & Mike in
5th, Kent & Vyxsin in 6th, Jaime & Cara in 7th, Jet & Cord in 8th. After
disrobing the footwear, the teams hop in their cars and haul, with the
cowboys passing several teams at once. But it's Team Trotters who takes
Team #2 status.
Then there are the other
three NOT in the mob: Rob & Christina and Gary & Mallory try to work it
out together, Amanda & Kris go off on their own. Mallory SWEARS the
other teams turned and Gary follows her...but Ron has MANY doubts. Back
at the mine, Team Cowboy Bebop pass Team Cardinal Sisters to check-in as
#3 and the girls settle for #4. The doubts WERE warranted; as soon as
Christina figure out the elements, they find they've been going the
wrong way. BUT...they soon get back on course and find the clue, the
Middle Americans taking 9th, the Chinese Americans 10th. Amanda & Kris
arrive JUST as they take off...though Mallory doesn't know the way...and
Ron & Christina are thinking of "cutting the cord" before THEY get lost.
So they do...aaaaand they get lost!
Team Hear My Song are Team
#5, Team West Hollywood #6, Team Dating Goths #7, Team Hollaback Girls
#8. Turns out Team KY/Dad knew where they were going all along; they end
up as Team #9. So...will it be the U-TURNed couple or the
father/daughter team who survives the Leg?
Two Americans - one male,
one female - get out of a car dressed as kangaroos...they run up the
incline to the mine...they get the greeting from the miner...and they
get the word from Phil (even when the male calls him "Bill" by mistake):
"Ron & Christina...you're
going to continue the Race because you are Team #10!"
And the U-TURN curse strikes
again for Team Amandakris. They are the last to arrive...and, once
again, they've been eliminated. At least they can take comfort that the
U-TURNing this time was of THEIR doing, not someone else's. And, hey,
not too many people can say they've Raced twice...so THAT'S something.
Would they do it a third time? In a heartbeat.
AFTER LEG 2:
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA to BROKEN HILL, AUSTRALIA
1) Zev & Justin (+3) -
2) "Flight Time" & "Big Easy" (+3)
3) Jet & Cord (+8)
4) Kisha & Jen (-1)
5) Margie & Luke (+2)
6) Mel & Mike (+3)
7) Kent & Vyxsin (+3)
8) Jaime & Cara (-2)
9) Gary & Mallory (-8) - Express Pass
10) Ron & Christina (-2)
ELIMINATED) Amanda & Kris (-7)
To see this episode in its
entirety, or to apply to be a contestant on "The Amazing Race", visit
the official website at