I Feel Like a Monkey in
a Circus Parade
The Racers passed through another
"gas-and-go" PIT STOP with Kent & Vyxsin (Team Dating Goths) receiving a
half-hour penalty for taking the wrong flight. In the city of Kunming,
the Racers had to play with dolls, install solar panels and build a
Dilophosaurus skeleton...and two teams endured a DOUBLE U-TURN. At the
end, though, it was Jet & Cord (Team Cowboy Bebop) who finished the Leg
first and won "5 large" for it. Jaime & Cara (Team Hollaback Girls)
couldn't survive the U-TURN and were Philiminated. The Elite Eight are
set in this circumnavigation of the globe for a million...who will be
PIT STOP #5
GREEN LAKE PARK
KUNMING, PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA
1414 LOCAL TIME
After running all over the remote parts
of the country who are our enemies in the new "Red Dawn" movie (if MGM
gets out of bankruptcy and finishes it, that is), the cowboy bros were
happy for the long rest and are now set to kick off Leg 6 with this
IT'S TEA TIME!
Travel by taxi or foot to Jin Fu
Yi Zhan Tea Shop and take part in a traditional Chinese tea-tasting
ceremony. Once the ceremony is complete, you will receive your next
clue along with a brick of tea you must carry with you for the rest
of the Leg.
(What they DON'T know is
that the papaya and mango tea they'll be drinking will play a VERY
important part in a task later in the Leg.)
Worried about their loved
ones back home, Jet & Cord make their way to the shop via taxi. The
other teams' departure times (all local):
Gary & Mallory (Team KY.Dad): 1416
Margie & Luke (Team Hear My Song!): 1448
Kisha & Jen (Team Cardinal Sisters):1543
Kent & Vyxsin: 1552
"Flight Time" & "Big Easy" (aka Herb & Nate, Team Trotters):1559
Ron & Christina (Team Who's Your Daddy?): 1609
Zev & Justin (Team Puzzle Pieces): 1610
(Luke seems a bit
disappointed that they're staying in China...as do a few other Racers).
Team Cowboy Bebop get to the
market square...but can't find the shop. Gary & Mallory find it first.
They sit as a helper pours the tea into small cups and hands them to the
twosome. Mallory thinks she tastes peach. As Jet & Cord arrive, the
father/daughter team pack up to leave, taking their tea brick with them,
along with this clue:
FLY TO KOLKATA!
Fly to one of the major stops in
the Tea-Horse Road: Kolkata (formerly Calcutta), India (nearly 900
miles away). Once there, make your way to the Town Hall where you'll
find your next clue.
One-by-one, the teams sip
their tea, get their bricks, read their clues and head off for the
airport. Ron & Christina again use the lack of a language barrier to
find out that the tea they're drinking is, indeed, papaya and mango.
Whether they suspect this MEANS something along the way is unknown.
The Great Equalizer strikes
yet again as ALL teams depart on the same flight to.
At the third most populous
metro area in the world (15 million and growing), 16 more people arrive
in the dead of night...and run past a whole LOT of people en route to
the taxis. The people block the taxis getting out of the airport but
once out...the Cannonball Run part of the Leg is on. Taxis tearing down
the road, passing each other for position. But for the Racers, the light
at the end of the tunnel...well, it actually IS an oncoming train;
they're racing on a road where train tracks are laid on...and trains are
coming TOWARDS them from time to time! YIPE!
KOLKATA TOWN HALL
And wouldn'tcha know it? All
that speeding and near head-on collisions were for naught as the Town
Hall doesn't open for another nine hours! DOH! At least those that
arrived first were able to make the late-comers panic a bit and run
around looking for a nonexistent clue box. Everyone has a laugh at
Mallory's expense before hunkering down for the daylight hours.
10am rolls around as the
Racers watch everyday life start in this impoverished city. They stand
as the guards start to unlock the gate. They're at the post...ANNNNNNNNNND
THERE OFF! Everyone but Feedlebaum races up the stairs and grabs this
WHO'S READY TO
DRINK IN THE SCENERY?
Kolkata has been the place where
Indian and Chinese tea have traded places. One team member must grab
a Papaya and a mango from a table and present them to the tea
auctioneer in a dining room on this floor, along with the brick of
tea you received before. When the auctioneer has infused the flavor
into the tea, you must find the same tea you drank in China amid the
hundreds of cups on the long table in front of the auctioneer. When
you find the right one, go back to the auctioneer. If he confirms it
correct, he will hand you your next clue (a bottle of Snapple(TM)
iced tea which has the clue under the cap).
And today's 'Blockers: Zev,
Luke, Mallory, "Flight Time", Ron, Kisha, Kent and Jet.
And one look at the LONG
table makes them ALL cringe. Still, they drop off their tea, papaya and
mango and get to looking. They drink...and drink...and drink. But Ron
thinks he smells some mango in one cup. He runs the cup to the
auctioneer...and he confirms it! He and Christina are the first out of
the ROADBLOCK. It takes some time to figure out the clue is under the
cap, but it says:
GO TO THE
AND FIND THE
TIWARA TEA STALL
(Anybody ELSE getting tired
of tea now?)
As Team Who's Your Daddy
depart, the rest continue to drink and drink. Kishi is barely drinking,
though; she goes by color and brings cup after cup of
familiar-looking-colored tea to the auctioneer...and keeps getting
denied. Zev has completely FORGOTTEN what the tea in China tasted like.
Luke is having a tough time. Jet STARTED looking by color and THEN
tasted...but then he switched to smelling the tea like Ron did. And THAT
worked; Jet & Cord are out in second. Luke and Mallory's bladders are
starting to fill up. Kisha finds one that looks promising and hands it
to the auctioneer...and he approves it, putting the sisters in third.
But THEY think they have to go to the Snapple factory and they confuse
the hell outta the cabbies. One of them thinks they mean Jorashanko
Thakur Bari and offers to drive them there.
Back inside, the bladders
are getting fuller and the Racers are starting to get sick. Kent SOMEHOW
finds one so he and Vyxsin can leave in fourth...but doesn't get that
the clue is the bottle at first; Vyxsin clues him in, though. Mallory
has been reduced to smelling the cups, not wanting to drink anymore. She
finds one, tastes it and hands it to the auctioneer. And she is MUCH
relieved to leave in fifth with Gary. The remaining three men are
getting VERY frustrated...though probably no more than Luke and HE can't
even VOCALIZE it so well. Zev CAN, though; he just chooses to drop and
shatter a cup in anger.
The drinking continues...and
ZEV is the lucky one! He departs with Justin in sixth, angering Luke.
The cups dwindle as Herb and Luke continue the search. Nate even
encourages Luke to not give up (though it's not helping much).
Meanwhile, on the road, Ron
& Christina are getting SICK of their driver taking unnecessary diving
risks and look for another. And Team Cardinal Sisters arrive at where
they were being taken to...but the cabbie don't know nothing about no
Snapple. Team Cowboy Bebop is in the right area...just a fair distance
TIWARA TEA STALL
JORASHANKO AREA, KOLKATA,
Team Dating Goths' cabbie
brings them RIGHT to the stall. The guy in the stall is happy to hand
them this clue:
HINDU ART or
HINDU ART: Go to a local statuary
shop and paint, dress and adorn a statue of an ancient Hindu
elephant god called "Genesha". Used a finished example in front of
the shop to get the details just right. When you have completed it
correctly, the shop owner will hand you your next clue.
BENGALI LITERATURE: Make your way
to a book store and receive eight stacks of Bengali children's story
books. Take the books and squeeze them and yourselves into the back
of a rickshaw "school van". Then direct the driver to the Victoria
Institution School. Give the books to the headmistress of the
Primary school to obtain your next clue from her.
The Goths decide on HINDU
ART and go out looking for the statuary shop. Team KY/Dad are second to
the DETOUR and decide on BENGALI LITERATURE.
Kisha & Jen are STILL
looking for the connection between the bottle and their next stop.
Finally Kisha suggests opening the bottle...and lo and behold, there's
the clue. Meanwhile, Team Who's Your Daddy decides on HINDU ART, as do
Team Cardinal Sisters (who were at LEAST in the right area). Oh, and Jet
& Cord are lost.
Herb and Luke are STILL
guzzling tea. Herb is NOT going to quit, remembering the LAST time they
took a penalty for not doing a ROADBLOCK. Cup after cuppa tea is downed,
shown and rejected. Bladders are bursting and tempers are flairing...until
Flight Time FINALLY gets the nod from the auctioneer! He and Big Easy
leave the ROADBLOCK in 7th. They hand the cap to the cab driver and head
off for the Tea Stall...leaving Luke saddened and walking into his
mother's arms for a cry. Even Margie wonders if he can do this,
remembering how frustrated he became on the last ROADBLOCK of their last
Back on the streets. Team
KY/Dad finds the book store and gets the eight bundles of
Introduction to the Bengali Alphabet from the bookkeeper. They pile
the books - and themselves - into the caged rickshaw and lead the driver
on his way, after getting English directions to the school. Team Cowboy
Bebop get unlost and get to the DETOUR in 5th, choosing the books. When
Team Puzzle Pieces arrives in 6th, they likewise choose the books. The
cow-bros keep passing it by while Zev & Justin find it and grab their
books. As they're on their way, Jet & Cord finally find the right shop.
Meanwhile, the three HINDU
ARTi teams find the statuary shop. Kent & Vyxsin thought it was PERFECT
that "Genesha" was pink. Ron & Christina were just annoyed by the loud
music played by the nearby drum & fife corps. .
Gary & Mallory find the
school, get the books to the headmistress
MAKE YOUR WAY TO
THE FOUNTAIN OF JOY, THE NEXT PIT STOP!
Head across town to Maidan, the
largest public park in Kolkata. Look around the Fountain of Joy and
the Victoria Memorial Hall to reach the PIT STOP for this Leg of the
WARNING! The last team to
check-in MAY BE ELIMINATED!
As the beauty queen and her
daddy find a cab to the park, the HINDU ARTists continue their painting.
It's a breeze for Team Dating Goths...but Ron is getting a headache.
Kent & Vyxsin leave the DETOUR in 2nd after finishing their pregnant
elephant deify. Right behind them are Kishi & Jen, leaving Ron &
Christina to hear the drums bang quickly. They finish fairly quickly,
though, and leave the DETOUR in 4th.
If it wasn't a fact that tea
has no alcohol in it, this reviewer would SWEAR Luke looks drunk. Again
he cries in Margie's arms. She encourages him by telling him he'll feel
worse if he DOESN'T finish. Luke agrees and goes back to trudging. He
brings an entire tray worth of cups to the auctioneer. One by one, he
shows the cups. At last, the auctioneer nods and the tea chefs applaud
and hug Luke's resilience. No time to relax, though; they're in last and
need to boogie! At the Tea Stall, both Team Trotters and Team Hear My
Song do ART.
At LITERATURE, Zev & Justin
deliver the books and depart the DETOUR in 5th. Jet & Cord depart in
6th...but not before a nice send-off by the green-dressed children. At
ART, Nate & Herb arrive and start painting THEIR deify. statue.
FOUNTAIN OF JOY AT MAIDAN
At the so-called "Lungs of
Kolkata" (due to all the oxygen-producing greenery in the park), two
Americans sprint towards Phil and a female Indian greeter. Phil
announces Team KY/Dad as Team #1 (and there was much rejoicing). A quick
plug for Snapple's two new "Amazing Race"-inspired flavors and then we
get to the team's prize, courtesy of the tea company: they get to be the
first people EVER to taste the new flavors, they'll have some
traditional high-class Indian food while being entertained by a
Bollywood-style musical troupe...and, they've won ONE MILLION...INDIAN
RUPEES! This confuses Gary & Mallory until Phil translates that into
about US$20,000...and then they cheer again!
Well, in a country with over
a billion people packed into land the size of 1/3 of the U.S., you WILL
have traffic jams. And the five remaining teams out of the DETOUR are
stuck in the middle of one right now. They all have different opinions;
the sisters are nerve-racked, the Goths are impatient, the Chinese are
frustrated, the friends are wondering...and the cowboys are chillin'.
As Team Trotters continue
painting their gut-covered statue, Margie & Luke arrive to start on
theirs. They're both pretty sure that this is the battle for last place.
As the mother/son paint, the b-ballers decorate...only to find that one
of them kicked the bucket. No, they didn't die; they LITERALLY kicked a
bucket of paint which splattered onto the statue. Nate & Herb have to
repaint the sections messed up! It's a chance for Margie & Luke to
Traffic thins out and the
cabs haul American backside across Kolkata. Team Puzzle Pieces offer
more Rupees to push pedal to metal. As it turns out, Jet & Cord arrive
as Team #2, Ron & Christina as Team #3 and Zen & Justin as Team #4 (all
at the same time). Kent & Vyxsin arrive as #5...but not before nearly
being run over by motorbikes! Still, it's a Snapple tea party for
Back at the statuary store,
Team Trotters work hard to repaint the parts that were messed up while
Team Hear My Song work harder just to FINISH painting before then. In
the end, though, It's Nate & Herb who finish the messed-up job and get
their final clue of the Leg. They hug Margie & Luke for their
determination during the hard ROADBLOCK before heading off in 7th.
There's nothing the mother and son can do but hope this is an N.E.L. and
keep painting. But, uh,...is this Kolkata or New York City? Seems the
two African-Americans keep getting passed-up by cabs. And they're STILL
looking at Team Cardinal Sisters hits the PIT STOP as Team #6 and Team
Hear My Song departs the DETOUR in last! They finally find one...as does
Margie & Luke. Who will make it to the park first?!
Flight Time & Big Easy hit
the mat. Nate tells Phil that Herb carried the team today and they hope
their second chance isn't over yet. Phil says it isn't; Team Trotters is
After getting all the way to
the end of AR14, Margie & Luke hit the mat and get the bad news. They're
the last team to arrive, and they've been Philiminated from the Race.
Still, Margie is proud of her crying, deaf son. Luke never thought in a
million years that he'd be Racing for a million dollars...let alone
TWICE in the span of two years. He feels so lucky to be Racing with his
mother and, though saddened at the loss, he will cherish these memories
AFTER LEG 6:
KUNMING, CHINA to KOLKATA, INDIA
1) Gary & Mallory (+1) -
Express Pass (USED), Snapple(TM) prize package
2) Jet & Cord (+1) - $5000
3) Ron & Christina (+4)
4) Zev & Justin (+4) - Cancun, Costa Rica
5) Kent & Vyxsin (EVEN)
6) Kisha & Jen (-2)
7) "Flight Time" & "Big Easy" (-1)
ELIMINATED) Margie & Luke (-5) - Aruba
To see this episode in its
entirety, or to apply to be a contestant on "The Amazing Race", visit
the official website at