September 20, 2004
I'd vote for them.
Chico: Welcome back. It's time for Big Five again, our
celebration of Game Show Newsnet's fifth anniversary.
Gordon: Jason had to leave for work, but we'll be
communicating with him via phone as he is sending me his
Gordon: Ok - Chico, what are the results of last week's
Chico: This one... was close. Remember, this was
biggest blunder. #5, with 6% of the vote... Greed's
"Wheel of Fortune" team. #4, with 10%... Dan Avila's $2
million mistake, also on "Greed". #3, with 14%...Too
much celebrities. This is where it was close. #2, with
29%... The Ken Jennings Contradiction. Remind us what
that was briefly.
Gordon: Ken Jennings saying that he idolizes the
Jeopardy record too much - and then on the same night
attempts to destroy it - which he eventually does.
Chico: Right. And the number one biggest blunder of the
past five years, and rightly so.... with 32%... The GSN
reformatting. I would've expected more votes for that
Alex: I actually didn't vote for GSN. I went for too
Gordon: I told you guys last time - there's a much bigger
Jennings backlash than you think.
Chico: Well, we're pretty much in a Jennings-free area
now, as we get to this week's poll, which I'm trying to
fit the word "BIG" in somehow... Biggest Bomb. There.
Chico: We're talking Waterworld, Leonard Part 6,
Thunderbirds level suck here.
Gordon: I was thinking Hudson Hawk.
Chico: And here's how it works. You know how it works
by now. Each one of us, Gordon, Jason, Alex, and myself,
have five. We'll put those up for review, and then cut
them down to the final ten. Those are then voted by
you... the public... Yay, public.
Alex: Because the public rocks.
Chico: Power of the people. It's a good thing. Okay,
Gordon, you have Jason's picks, right?
Gordon: We'll start with Jason. His 5 are - Throut and
Neck, The Chamber, All New Three's a Crowd, Dog Eat Dog
and Inquizition. Thoughts?
Chico: I actually liked Inquizition.
Alex: I really liked Dog Eat Dog.
Chico: Me too.
Alex: The Chamber was a guilty pleasure, and I liked
everything about All New Threes A Crowd except Threes A
Crowd. I liked the host... The set... the music... It was
just Three's A Crowd in general that I didn't like.
Chico: Yeah. The concept really did this one in.
Gordon, your thoughts?
Gordon: I think the Chamber and Threes a Crowd should be
there. I like the other three.
Chico: You like Throut & Neck?
Gordon: It was a fun show with a hot babe who wears skin
tight pants and two animated characters who made fun of
people. What's there not to like?
Chico: You sick masochist. Alex, you're up.
Alex: Top 5 shows I hate - 5- Lingo, 4- Pyramid, 3-
Burt Ludden's Love Buffet, 2- Stump the Schwab, Worst
show IMO- WinTuition. I know most disagree with
me about Lingo.
Gordon: Lingo and Pyramid????
Alex: Current Pyramid. I loved Classic $100,000
Pyramid. I was kinda upset about current Pyramid.
Chico: If you're going to do Larry Sanders as a game
show, then get a good concept going first.
Alex: Stump The Schwab might have been the worst show
I have ever seen had WinTuition not come to air.
Gordon: Ok - you get a reprieve from me throwing an
anvil in your general direction, I didn't like the
current version of Pyramid either.
Chico: See, that's why I was cancelled. People expected
classic Pyramid. If you take it for what it was, it
wasn't that bad.
Alex: Had there not been a classic $100,000 Pyramid,
Pyramid would have been great.
Gordon: I disagree. If anything, the show would have
been cancelled quicker. The graphics was cheesy and
music was bad. They didn't even use real physical
graphics - there was only a computer on each table. What
sort of layout is that?
Alex: WinTuition makes me want to shove a pencil in my
Chico: That I will agree with you on.
Gordon: Wintuition wasn't awful - but it's generic, and
it wasn't good either.
Alex: Marc Summers, no matter how good he was on
Double Dare, was just bad on WinTuition. Best episode of
WinTuition was with Kennedy.
Gordon: Marc didn't have any good material to work with.
Alex: She brought something to the game that Marc
Chico: Marc Summers is like pizza... Even when he's
bad, he's kinda good.
Alex: WinTuition was just horribly boring - Even worse
than Stump The Schwab.
Gordon: Stump the Schwab was also a show I didn't care
Alex: I think ESPN would have been smarter to bring
back 2 Minute Drill, which is in my books for the best
sports game show ever and one of the top 10 game shows
in my mind.
Chico: *applause* Amen to that. Okay, my turn. Five
stinkers. And surprise, surprise, three of them were on
Gordon: I'm shocked.
Chico: I know. "Only three?"!
Gordon: I could have put all 5 on FOX.
Chico: 5 - The Chamber. Solid game element, but quite
literally a pain to watch and a classic example of Fox
Alex: A pain to watch AND a pain to play
Chico: ba DUM bum
Alex: The Chair was much better.
Chico: I actually liked the Chair.
Alex: I still think The Chamber lead to The Chair's
Gordon: They BOTH sucked - next?
Chico: Getting to 4 - It's Your Chance of a Lifetime.
The show that was show bad that a season-long run turned
into one week of five episodes and led to the
cancellation of the far less deserving Greed.
Alex: How could I forget.
Chico: Never mind that it was a BLATANT ripoff.
Gordon: Ok - #3?
Chico: 3 - Are You Hot. Need I say more?
Gordon: Change the show to... Does this suck?
Chico: Everyone wins, including the picky, horny, and
Alex: Point taken and well taken.
Gordon: That would be a winner - #2?
Chico: 2 - Forever Eden. Again.. Need I say more?
Gordon: When you have to get the contestants drunk to
get action, you know that's a bad sign.
Chico: Whatever happened to those guys, anyway?
Gordon: I think they are in the same ads as Skyler is
Chico: Were they turned into the cast for "Lost"? I
Alex: They dropped to hell.
Chico: descended to Hell...
Gordon: Speaking of Hell...#1?
Chico: And now, the number one... the be-all-end-all of
utter suckdom in the past five years... And I will
challenge you to find someone who thinks different... It
was the moment when I realized that FremantleMedia hates
my ass. People of earth... I give you...Card Sharks.
Alex: Yep, I think you got it.
Chico: A slap in the face of my favorite game show of
Alex: I could only stand 1 episode.
Gordon: That was pretty darn bad.
Chico: It was so bad, that it was actually gone by
December only to have the Phoenix of Whammy rise from
Gordon: Which was marginally better.
Chico: And rightly so. That's what you call turning
lemons into lemonade.
Gordon: Or at least lemon sherbet.
Chico: Okay, Gordon, wow us.
Gordon: I guess it is my turn, eh?
Chico: Do your thang.
Gordon: #1 - Married By America. The only game show
where marriage isn't taken seriously as the show gets
banned in half the U.S.
Chico: Including my neck of the woods...
Alex: Good choice.
Chico: We got Seinfeld instead.
Gordon: Jason says that he was at a taping for it - and
it was the worst experience of his life.
Alex: I can imagine.
Chico: Worse than a simultaneous epidural and lobotomy?
Gordon: I asked him what was bad about it - he said
Gordon: #2 - All-American Girl. Starts - ABC. Ends - ABC
Family, Enough Said.
Gordon: When you have American women being judged by
foreign judges, well, you know.
Gordon: #3. Cupid. The Simon Cowell disaster with one of
the worst hosts I have ever seen. When you are openly
rooting for the Austrian who clearly isn't compatible to
win - something is wrong.
Alex: I just hate most reality shows.
Chico: Look at it this way.. Don't think about it as
more crappy reality shows.
Gordon: There are excellent reality shows out there -
these aren't it.
Chico: Think of it as less crappy sitcoms.
Gordon: #4 - The JD Roberto version of Shop Till You
Drop. I remember how fun this show used to be. Now, I am
shedding a tear.
Alex: I never liked any form of the show, to be
Chico: Wait.. this used to be fun?!
Gordon: Wahlberg made the show, and I liked Pat Finn as
Chico: Wait.. You like Pat Finn?
Alex: I think drugs and alcohol made the show,
Gordon: One of the shows he was good in - but not with
Alex: They just decided to make money.
Chico: I'm in agreement with the man that shares his
first name with my last name.
Alex: Wow, we agree on a lot
Chico: Weird, ain't it?
Alex: And I've never talked to you in my life.
Chico: Even weirder.
Gordon: Just more people for me to beat up on
Chico: Sit down, manchild.
Gordon: #5 - The Chair. I stuck it here because I
thought the whole premise was bad - and I see it makes a
pretty good decoy too.
Alex: I thought the concept was interesting, and The
Chamber basically ruined any honor this show had because
people basically stuck the two together
Chico: Your opinion... Not necessarily a good one.
Gordon: It wasn't a good show - I don't want to see a
show where the lack of emotion gets you money - it
completely contradicts the purpose of a game show.
Alex: Its just like FOX to ruin a good show.
Chico: That and Fox rushed the Chamber to air.
Gordon: Decoys work well, too =)
Chico: So we have our 19. Studio 7 narrowly misses the
cut. Or can we just throw that in for an even 20?
Gordon: It wasn't good - but it wasnt bad enough - that
was more bad editing than a bad game.
Chico: Right. It just ... was. Anyway, the rundown.
Gordon: Put in The Player for good measure.
Chico: 20! And here they are...
All-American Girl, All-New 3's a Crowd, Are You Hot,
Burt Luddin's Love Buffet, Card Sharks (2001), The
Chair, The Chamber, Cupid, Dog Eat Dog, Forever Eden,
Inquizition, It's Your Chance of a Lifetime, Throut &
Neck, Lingo (2002), Married by America, The Player,
Pyramid (2002), Shop 'Til You Drop (2003), Stump the
Chico: Okay, now for what we call... The Spoiler Round,
where we cut out the shows that just aren't bad enough
to warrant a place on the final poll.
Gordon: Jason immediately takes off Lingo, calling it
one of the best shows ever. And he told me to tell Alex.
Alex: Yeah, I figured.
Gordon: Jason also wishes to remove Wintuition. It was
blah, but there are shows that are much worse that
deserve to be there.
Gordon: Ok - Alex - you cut next
Alex: The Chair is off the list
Chico: Gee, what a surprise.
Alex: And Inquizition - those are the only 2 that I
Chico: Okay, me next... I'm going to remove Dog Eat
Dog, because I see it as an in-studio Fear Factor with
Brooke Burns. And to call Brooke Burns bad is just
Alex: Oh, I forgot that.
Chico: Oh yeah, and I enjoyed the game aspect of it as
Gordon: it wasn't bad
Chico: That's the point. And I'm going to cut Pyramid,
because... hey, in this day and age, you should be damn
fortunate to have it.
Gordon: I didn't feel fortunate to have that version of
Chico: And besides, it's a lot better than a) a great
half of the shows on the list, and b) what it could've
Chico: Randy Amasia (God rest his soul) even said that
the finish product was a lot better than past attempts.
Gordon, you're next.
Gordon: I'm cutting Throut and Neck. I liked that show.
Alex: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SOMEONE LIKES THROUT AND
Chico: My god...He's letting his mojo could his better
Alex: Actually, I really shouldn't say anything - I
like the weirdest shows.
Gordon: I'm also going to cut STYD 2003. It's bad, but
there are other much worse shows up there I can't cut
Chico: It could be worse. They could hold it on a
Chico: Besides, they basically threw away stupid stunts
for TPIR castoffs. It's a brain game now. Be thankful
for that. That leaves 12. So now we go to the group
vote. Everyone submit two cuts. Most votes gets them.
Gordon: OK - Jason voted to cut Stump the Schwab and
Chance of a Lifetime.
Alex: I'm going to have to agree with Jason, the rest
are just worse.
Chico: Agreed here as well. I'm waiting for Gordon to
disagree for the sake of disagreement here.
Gordon: I can't. I agree with both of them.
Chico: Wow...that's strange.
Alex: Is that a first?
Chico: Very much so.
Gordon: And I have Aldo with a smelly sock aimed at my
face in case I even attempt to argue to keep Stump The
Schwab on the list.
Chico: That'll do it.
Chico: The final ten...
All-American Girl, All-New 3's a Crowd, Are You Hot,
Burt Luddin's Love Buffet, Card Sharks (2001), The
Chamber, Cupid, Forever Eden, Married by America,
Chico: Which one can create a new universe on the
vacuum power of its own stench?
Gordon: All of them
Chico: ... Well, yeah, but which one would be bigger?
Gordon: If I have to pick one, I would say Married By
Chico: I wouldn't want America to marry me.
Alex: Are You Hot is the worst there for me.
Chico: Card Sharks. Hands down. I was insulted.
Gordon: Three people - three different answers. Should
be a fun poll.
Chico: Vote on the homepage. Vote early. Vote often.
Next up, El Conclusion Grande al show mas grande.
(This show has been brought to you by Dog Eat Player.
It's a fun little show - if you like to see Rob Mariano
being devoured by Pit Bulls and Anthony
Gordon: We invite Aldo in for the Big Finish
Chico: Welcome back to the doghouse.
Aldo: Thank you and LETS GO YANKEESSSSSSSS!!!
Gordon: Youve seen the final 10 worst shows. Any
Aldo: I thought it was missing My Big Fat Obnoxious
Chico: Nah. Not as bad as one of the crap that was
Gordon: I was thinking about it - but I didn't want to
overpopulate the chart with reality shows.
Chico: You were probably better off that way anyway.
Aldo: How was Stump the Schwab in top 20?
Chico: I don't know.
Gordon: That would be Alex and myself
Chico: Granted it wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible.
Gordon: It was terrible
Aldo: It wasn't as good as it can be
Aldo: but it doesn't deserve to be mentioned with the
rest of these.
Chico: True. Next week, a bigger challenge, naming the
BEST show of the past five years. I'm going to try and
get Jason Elliott in on it.
Gordon: That should be fun - but we are closing this out
with THE BIG FINISH. Who wins Big Brother?
Chico: It's Michael's to lose.
Aldo: Thank God the Yankee game preempted BB5
Chico: I wasn't so lucky, though. Amazing Race 5?
Gordon: I thought it was Colin and Christie's - but now
I have to go for Chip and Kim.
Chico: Me too. Who's next to go on Survivor?
Gordon: If the men lose, the young guys are picked off.
If the ladies lose, then it's the old women
Chico: It's early, so we're speaking in terms of
Gordon: Same question - Apprentice?
Chico: If Apex, count on Stacie J. If Mosaic... I'll be
Gordon: I agree with Stacie J. I wouldn't be surprised
if Pamela gets shown the door for Mosaic.
Chico: The Benefactor's Mario... classic character.
Gordon: Good attitude, funny - he's an early threat to
win the game
Chico: Putting it down for "the 40-ish, balding,
wanting-to-adopt Hispanics of America"
Chico: Anything else you want to say, Alex?
Alex: I'm working on a brand new Palace game show -
Win Mike Klauss's Money. My original Super Jackpot is
going into its 4th season soon, and The Defector's 8th
year on the net starts in a month or so. And I have
Palace Poker Showdown starting its 2nd season in October
Gordon: What's the URL?
Chico: Now you're speaking our language =p. Aldo, final
words of wisdom?
Aldo: They better start coming up with some better
shows or I'm actually going to be going to sleep at a
Alex: Or renew the good shows - either one.
Chico: I've been saying that since Scattergories in
1993. In fact, the only Get Together Game that hasn't
been made into a show, good or otherwise,...
Aldo: We need...THE RUNNING MAN!
Chico: Dude, we're past that!
Alex: By the end of 2005, the real Russian roulette
will be on FOX
Chico: I don't know.. They struck down Seriously Dude,
Alex: At least GSN is starting to get some decent
shows - Win Ben Stein's Money.
Chico: I can't wait for Ben Stein's Money.
Alex: Extreme Dodgeball is coming back
Chico: And Celebrity Blackjack - That's also getting a
second series in October.
Alex: Celebrity Poker Showdown 4 is in October.
Chico: It's gonna be Rocktober.
Alex: GSN is giving away $1,000,000 total on Celebrity
Blackjack 2 to 40 different celebrities
Alex: And I am really anticipating Extreme Dodgeball
Gordon: Should be fun
Alex: Only thing, non game show wise, I wish GSN would
pick up now is BattleBots.
Gordon: Well, that wraps up another edition of WLTI. A
special thanks to Alex, Aldo, Josh and Jason for
appearing in this broadcast
Chico: Well, if there's no other business, you know
what they say... end on a song. This one's called "BB5
Love Song"... Picture the Coors
commercials. *plays guitar* I... love... Four Horsemen
scenes, six finger schemes,
Holly's mannequin...*strums* and twins. *plays again* I!
Love! Brother & Sister pairs, Nakomis' changing hair,
Will & Marvin's plans.... to get rid of TWINS! AND I!
LOVE YOU TOO!
Gordon: I think the men in the white coats are here for
you now, Mr. Alexander.
Chico: In that case, take us home, Gordon.
Gordon: I love...Game Over.