Gordon: We are back, after playing some of the Jeopardy CD. How did you do, Chico?
Chico: I felt inadequate by the sheer knowledge of someone who obviously has too much time on his hands. But I have a life! A-HA!
Gordon: Apparently, not, if you are playing his CD. Anyways, I am handing out pineapples for the next game. Did you get yours, Chico?
Chico: Yeah, but I ate it. I was hungry.
Gordon: Don't eat the props!
Chico: Luckily, I stopped by the store and got another one. Now explain how this works.
Gordon: Hmph. Anyway, this game is a tribute to both Celebrity Mole Hawaii (hence the pineapples) and Allison and Donny's appearance in Amazing Race 5. It's called Infiltration. I'll give you a show. You tell me who should infiltrate the show and make it better. For example, if I said Joe
Millionaire, your answer could be ranging anywhere from Melana Scantlin to a bondage porno movie crew to a writing department to the FCC.
Chico: I don't see an improvement in any of the three cases
Gordon: Who would you send to infiltrate the show?
Chico: Joe Millionaire... I think I'd have to go with Melana, because the
shallow/shallow fission/fusion would cause an emotional meltdown of
grandiose proportions.
Gordon: So we'd send Larissa, Melana and a writing crew to Joe Millionaire - and hopefully make the show better, Get it?
Chico: Got it. Okay. Next up: The Complex. Whose relationship needs mending over a mitre saw?
Gordon: Well, the show needs some excitement. for starters - and maybe some people who know what they are doing.
Chico: Yeah. So your choices?
Gordon: I think we need to send Susan Hawk and her husband (who does know construction) and Boston Rob (who does work in construction) and Amber so they can kick ass and make fun of everyone while doing it.
Chico: Okay, Survivors. Point and laugh at the clueless people! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good choices.
Gordon: Who would you send over to help the show?
Chico: Alison and Donny... for sheer entertainment value. They don't have to build anything, they can just argue... and you know.. Blend in ... with all
the other arguing couples.
Gordon: Lets add Fear Factor's Meg and Adam instead. Can you take any more exposure to Allison and Donny?
Chico: Not without involving the porn crew. Next, please?
Gordon: Survivor - Thailand. This was a great strategic series, but outside
of Ghandia, the cast was sort of dull. How do we spruce this up to change
the outcome?
Chico: Simple, add Justin Sebik and his mad knifing vibe. *mimes Psycho
knifing* Or for similar effect, AI2's Corey Clark and his sister.
Gordon: We don't need a psycho knocking off contestants one by one - but it would certainly spice the show. We haven't had a black diva contingency on Survivor - and that's because we haven't had any more than 2 African
Americans on a Survivor show My suggestion - Omarosa, Fantasia Barrino, and Camille from Next Top Model 2 - and then throw Howard Dean in so he can scream just as loud as Ghandia. AaaaaaAAAAaaaaAAAAhhhhh
Chico: Damn skippy. Next on the agenda... Amazing Race 5, specifically the
team of Charla and Mirna. Charla's been the darling of America this summer, but her partner leaves little to be desired. How to remedy this, Gordon?
Gordon: Exchange Charla's partner. There are a lot of choices here. You can either pick up Michael from Extreme Dodgeball from the Stallion Battalion, or the Title character form The Littlest Groom or any of the midgets from the Man Vs. Beast series.
Chico: ... I pick Shorty Knisner from the Battalion, and throw in Tobias
"Stretch" McKinney for maximum effect.
Gordon: You can call them the long and short of it.
Chico: ba DUM bum
Gordon: Next up - Jeopardy. You know we are looking for this - who do you send to challenge Jennings?
Chico: Herb Stempel. No doubt!
Gordon: who else?
Chico: Hmm.. It would be interesting to see Leszek Pavlowicz school the boy. And of course, we can't forget the sheer entertainment value of the deviant tactical mind that is.. Jennifer "Nakomis" Dedmon.
Gordon: Good choices - I'll toss in Chuck Forrest and Kevin Olmstead into
the mix.
Chico: Let's see you worm your way out of THAT one, Kenny.
Gordon: Some hating on Mr. Jennings from you?
Chico: If you weren't gonna do it, I was. Okay, finally... *sigh* The Swaaaaaan. Good Amanda Byram impersonation there. But who is in dire need of an extreme do-over here? I'd nominate JJ from the Player, simply because he's got the three R's going for him. Rough, rugged, and raw. But I think the show stipulates rules for females... so he's out.
Gordon: Rules schumules - stick JJ in there - and you can add Michael
Ellis from BB5. You see those teeth? Yikes!
Chico: I think he's had more makeovers in his one summer in the BB5 house than Madonna had in her entire career.
Gordon: He needs more... many more.
Chico: We're going to have to put a coffee on.
Gordon: Give Ruben some liposuction too, while we're at it - and send in the Marines for Josh Gracin.
Chico: Okay, you're going totally Metro on me, dude.
Gordon: Get Gracin out of Metrosexual spikey hair mode, please
Chico: Spikey.... hot button topic... issue-y... Brain... can't handle it...
So there are your pineapples for Infiltration... Next up, the Big Finish and another Big Five.
Gordon: It must be metrosexual syndrome.
Chico: Jason and Ryan are in the hallway shadow boxing. They'll have to put up a fight in the Big Five... Next.

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