July 10, 2006

(Brainvision News is presented by Boswell Farms, a healthy obsession with Chicken George).

Chico:  Welcome back. Time to open up the WLTI Battledrome for... Vs.!
Joe:    BUMBUMBUMMMM!
Jason H:   oh dear me
Chico:  Today, it's a show on NBC created by someone who basically owns Fox...  VERSUS! A show whose host used to be on Fox... Family.
Jason B:   (pumps chest) YEAH! YEAH! Bring it On!

It's America's Got Talent vs. Master of Champions!

Jason B:   Ok.
Gordon: Lets get ready to rumble!
Chico:  I lay out the battle, you give me, Talent, Champion, or Draw. Whoever has the most votes at the end, wins.
Jason B:   Got it.

Round 1: Humble beginnings....AGT: Created by Simon Cowell, who gave us Cupid (No, Joe), a million barbs, and five American Idols. MoC: created by the Japanese, who gave us Inuyasha, Iron Chef, and the Playstation. Talent, Champion, or Draw?

Jason B:   Talent. Plain and simple.
Chico:  Anyone else?
Joe:    I  actually say Champion because it's not a clone
Gordon: Talent
Jason H:   Talent
Chico:  Talent it is.  Next...

AGT: Compared to The Gong Show. MoC: Compared to... well, nothing.

Jason B:   Talent again...even though it's not original.
Jason H:   You're lucky I've seen both shows once. :-p
Gordon: I've never seen anything like it. Unfortunately, I never want to see anything like it again. Talent.
Joe:    MoC.  Do you really want to be compared to the Gong Show?
Chico:  ... wellll. :)
Jason H:   With those comparisons, I say talent...very loosely
Chico:  Talent wins again, 3-1.

Round 2: People. AGT: Regis Philbin, who hosted "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." MoC: Chris Leary, who hosted "Fresh Gear".

Jason B:   It's Regis...are you kidding? Talent.
Gordon: Not much competition here. Talent.
Joe:    Regis
Chico:  Not much indeed.
Jason H:   Agreed, talent.

AGT: Tabloid cannon fodder: David Hasselhoff. MoC: Tabloid cannon fodder: Oksana Baiul.

Jason B:   Again...it's the Hoff. Talent.
Joe:    Talent.  Hasselhoff's big in Europe
Chico:  Totally big in Europe.
Jason H:   I will provide the first draw.
Gordon: Hoff, whether intentionally or not, has made the headlines. Talent.
Chico:  Talent wins again.

AGT: Who the hell is Piers Morgan? MoC: What the hell is a Scott Podsednik?

Joe:    Draw.  Who the hell cares?
Jason B:   Talent: Piers is funny.
Jason H:   Draw once again, feh.
Joe:    I thought Podsednik was a baseball player.
Chico:  I don't know. Is he?
Joe:    First name Scott?
Chico:  Scott Podsedn... okay. I'll buy that.
Gordon: Do we go for the British clone...or the person with no personality. Talent...but barely.

Final Round, although it looks like Talent's going to walk this. AGT: Compete in 3 rounds over several weeks with a vote determining the winner. MoC: Compete in 3 rounds over one hour with a vote determining the winner.

Jason B:   Talent. It ain't the #1 show in America for luck.
Joe:    Draw, because I'm watching neither round over the entire season
Jason H:   I'll go off the board with crap. I'm not a big fan of having a fan vote determine the winner.
Gordon: At least we have some sort of say in Talent. And on a side note, don't say in an ad that your vote will decide when it really doesn't. Shame on you, ABC.
Jason B:   Agreed.
Chico:  So we have talent taking this one too. Damn, ABC... Given the
business by the Pepper and the Block.

Memorable character...AGT: Leonid the Magnificent. MoC: Jumproping car.

Gordon: The jump roping car was much more impressive than Jason's older brother from Brooklyn. Master.
Jason B:   HEY! He is NOT my older brother.
Chico:  ... I'm going to love this trip...
Jason B:   I dont want him slicing my family tree. Jump Roping car wins.
Joe:    Jump Roping car seems more amusing
Chico:  That it does.

Contortionist archers. AGT: Lilia Stepanova. MoC: Princess Elayne.

Jason B:   Draw!
Joe:    Draw
Jason H; Draw
Gordon: Draw
Jason B:   Any woman who can do that is okay by me.
Chico:  Logistics...Gotta love'em. And finally...

AGT: Ranked #1 this week...MoC: Ranked #50.

Joe:    I say draw because I don't watch either :P
Chico:  Draw on 1 vs. 50? No. Talent.
Gordon: No Draw here - Talent
Jason B:   Talent by a huge margin.
Chico:  Talent by a huge margin indeed.  And Joe doesn't watch either.
Jason H: Talent - but it's only first because nothing else is on.
Joe:    They're both dead last in my book.
Chico:  Got a favorite this summer, Joe?
Joe:    World Series of Blackjack and High Stakes Poker.
Chico:  Good choices. We'll see if they turn up in the next game... right after the break.

(Brought to you by Rock Star: Sharapova. While the band plays, Miss Sharapova dances. Makes you forget about the crappy singing.)

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