June 18, 2005
Travis: So wrong.
Chico: Gordon... You should never be allowed anywhere near a TV R&D house...
Jeff: Hope the doggies have sharp claws, or they will slide around a lot.
Jason: Ever see dogs run on ice?
Jeff: Nope. Do the dogs have bees coming from their mouths ;)
Travis: Of course. Africanized bees
Gordon: Right now, we'll all get to experience our own R&D experience as Chico
brings out the Infiltration Board.
Chico: You know how this works. Hypothetical situations. You play it out in
your mind, and then expel it through your mouth. And we all have a good laugh
about it. First up:
Gordon Ramsay... on Iron Chef. He'd tell his crew to button
it, but would he get anything done?
Jason: He is not suited for it. It wouldn't do well on the time thing.
Travis: He'd start telling the other competitor what they were doing wrong.
Chico: Easy way to win a competition: shove your opponent's dishes onto their
Gordon: I think Morimoto would serve him as the main ingredient.
Jason: There would a WWE style smackdown.
Joe: And I'd change the channel.
Jason: Sorry ECW--cookie sheets :)
Chico: Japanese-style haggis, anyone?
Next up, Carrie Underwood on Nashville Star. Would she be top of her game or
laughed out of Opryland?
Jason: She would win. She is that good. She is in her element there.
Jeff: That's where she needed to go in the first place
Joe: She would own Nashville Star.
Gordon: Wha? No way.
Jeff: We always said at my house that she made a wrong turn going to the
auditions for Nashville Star and ended up on AI.
Gordon: I think she made the right move. With her history of lyric-mangling, she
doesn't make it out of the final four with the Nashville Star group.
Chico: Agreed. I'm still miffed about the winning thing, myself.
Joe: I'm not.
Gordon: I don't think Carrie comes close in Nashville Star.
Jeff: Maybe not, but it's closer to her forte than Pop - music style that is.
Gordon: Yes - but she was up against all different music in Idol. If she was in
Nashville Star, she would be up against people in the same genre who are better
and more polished than she was. She would get exploited early.
Jeff: just shows you that a lot of 'middle-America' people vote on Idol.
Chico: She even admits that her performance record is blotchy.
Gordon: I think she should be happy that she was against unpolished people like
herself. Next one?
Back on the track with Jay McCarroll on "The Cut". Would he win
this one or just plain get cut?
Jason: Who is Jay McCarroll?
Chico: For those who don't know, Jay McCarroll is the winner of Project Runway.
Jason: He would win. I don't see anyone who could handle the Hilfiger.
Gordon: I think that he would win both The Cut and Wickedly Perfect as well.
Chico: And any other style-based series out there.
Gordon: Yep. He's just that good.
Jason: Tommy is being really tough. He makes the Donald look like a pussycat.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: The cut got better this week.
Jason: Not by much.
Chico: Probably all that time hanging out with Fabolous... and it's Fab-o-lous..
Jason: Fab-o-lous. I am hip to the rap scene. He is a Brooklyn boy.
Chico: Whereas Fat Joe is from the Bronx :)
Gordon: Next one?
Jason: BX--Terror Squad...
Ken Jennings on.... The Price is Right :) There's a mismatch.
Jason: He wouldn't be picked.
Travis: Stuck in Contestants Row.
Jeff: Wrong game style.
Travis: But, if Professor Price was still around, he'd sweep.
Jason: He is too laid back.
Gordon: He's too mild-mannered. I agree with Jason. He wouldn't be picked.
Chico: Makes Clark Kent look exciting.
Jason: Ben Stein is more exciting than him.
Jeff: He might do well on WOF, however.
Chico: Okay, here's a real mismatch...
John O'Hurley and Charlotte Jorgenson
on... the Amazing Race. Both can dance, but can they drive? And run? And do all
sorts of interesting stuff?
Jeff: They'd do great.
Travis: At least a third place finish.
Chico: They have the chemistry.
Jeff: He can charm just about anyone, and that would help in the race.
Jason: Haven't seen them, but they seem like a great team. They would work well
Chico: Just give them the hypnostare.
Gordon: They have the chemistry - and John is much smarter than people would
give him credit for,.
Chico: I think TTTT proved that.
Gordon: They would be in the Top 3 - but would we really want to see a Celebrity
Joe: No, actually.
Jeff: Didn't we just see one?
Gordon: 1 set is tolerable. Would you want 12 of that?
Jeff: An amazing race All-Stars could work. Bring back teams from prior years.
But not Romber.
Chico: No. No no no no no...
Chico: Okay... One more... any of the geeks on Average Joe.... and any of the
beauties on America's Next Top Model.... on Beauty & the Geek.
let's go with a real life model and a real-life geek.
Gordon: Maybe Alex Trebek and Claudia Schiffer
Chico: Molly Sims and Wil Wheaton.
Jeff: Stephen Hawking and Jessica Simpson
Travis: Brandi Sherwood and yours truly (I know, one track mind)
Chico: Or Danica McKellar, who is both Beauty AND Geek.
Joe: Or Amy Jo Johnson and ME!!!!!! Sorry. I just had to get that one in
Travis: Someone had to say it.
Jason: Or Jeff and Angelina.
Jeff: Are you offering me your place in line?
Jason: You can have her :). Everyone else has.
Travis: Congrats Jeff.
Gordon: ok with THAT, I think a break is needed.
Gordon: Let's break 1 more time and then get to the finish
Chico: Alright. The kids call it WLTI. We'll be right back.
(Brought you to by Rub It In Your Face. For those who do get
auditions when their friends don't. Call them up, e-mail them and have them bow
down to your greatness!)
Gordon: Are you the host?
Joe: I believe he is.
Chico: Heh. That's a show I can get behind.
Gordon: I just figure of the 25,000 times that he brags about the contest that
he wins, I can have my nice little spot in the sun. But Nooooooo SOMEONE has to
Jason: Damn skippy. :)
Chico: Like you haven't offended anyone before? :)
Gordon: Who Moi?
Jason: Gordon always keeps his tact in check.
Travis: In check. He hasn't claimed it from the tact check girl yet?
Gordon: And yes, for the people who are reading this at home, this is PLAYFUL
BANTER between me and Jason.
Chico: Yeah, until someone opens the door for him :) Okay, we'll talk about
tact later. Right now, it's time for the Big Finish!
Joe: WHOO BIG FINISH!
Jason: It's all good.
Travis: SPRINT FOR THE TAPE!
Gordon: No - I checked out something else from the check girl =)
Jason: BIG FINISH! Let's do it!
Gordon: Dancing With the Stars - Who's next to fall?
Joe: Joey McIntyre.
Chico: Joey & Ashly... Sorry Ashly.
Jeff: Not paying enough attention to make prediction.
Travis: Ashly doesn't need an apology. She needs an "e".
Chico: Will we ever see a turnaround on Hell's Kitchen?
Joe: Maybe some turned stomachs, but that's about it.
Chico: Last week.
Chico: Someone ralphed.
Chico: And not in the good way (as in Ralph)
Jeff: ROFR - roll on floor ralphing
Travis: Jeff's rolling in his own ralph.
Gordon: Will any artist see a career resurrection from Hit Me Baby 1 More Time?
Chico: No, but its fun to watch.
Jason: Don't know.
Chico: Question, though.. Will Vernon Kay ever calm down?
Travis: Doubt it.
Joe: I'm sure at least of me and Gordon's associates at the PYLP thinks V-Ice
Chico: He already has a career actually... appearing on clip shows on VH1. Or
Travis: Anyone can make a career out of that, though.
Gordon: Ask the Top Model crew - speaking of which, will any of them get any
further than Style of VH1?
Joe: Don't care enough.
Chico: Ask Eva in a year. From Joe not caring we go to people out there caring
enough to send us... MAIL!
Joe: MAIL TIME!
Jason: MAIL TIME
Gordon: You got Mail,
Joe: (is there an echo in here?)
Travis: Letters...we get letters...we get sacks and sacks of letters...
Gordon: We got one from Jeff Krouskop. Thanks for writing in, Jeff!
Jason: Thanks, Jeff!
Gordon: "Hi WLTI - Love the site! Watch it closely for game show news!"
Chico: We <3 Jeff
Joe: Booyah Jeff!
Jeff: Does this show really need a co-host? I think not.
Joe: Is Chuck even going to HAVE a co-host?
Travis: I agree as well
Joe: A co-host is totally extraneous.
Jeff: And busty
Chico: And how extraneous? :)
Chico: So to answer your question, Jeff.. We don't know.
Joe: Weird. W-E-I-R-D
Joe: Sorry. S-O-R-R-Y
Chico: But as soon as we know, you'll know, because that's the kind of guys we
Jeff: But no Harrah's vacation package, right?
Chico: Methinks it's time for Gordon to dispatch one of his agents (although
I'm pretty sure that the show is still closed set)
Gordon: Is that it for this week?
Chico: That's it. But we're always taking more mail. The address:
email@example.com. Hopefully we'll have an answer to the next mail we
Jason: We will...
Chico: The beauty of mail: you can never get enough.
Travis: How true. Maybe we'll even get a package. Those are always fun to get.
Gordon: With that, we end another raucous, riotous episode of WLTI.
Joe: Indeed. I got a package in the mail this week.
Jason: Not bad for this week, guys.
Joe: A copy of the 1974 version of the Let's Make A Deal boardgame.
Jeff: OK, gotta go. Fun as usual.
Gordon: Thanks again to Joe, Jason, Travis and Jeff for making this the toughest
show to get past the censors...EVER.
Joe: ROFLMAO Glad to be back, gents.
Chico: Okay, just remains to thank Travis "Super" Schario, Jason "Think Outside
the" Block, Jeff "Apple" Suchard, and Joe "You... Get in the" Van Ginkel.
Travis: You're quite (BLEEP) welcome.
Jason: You are welcome as always.
Chico: He's Gordon "Salt and" Pepper...
Jason: And he's Chico
"Don't Call me Jason" Alexander.
Joe: Until next time...
Chico: Wishing a happy 25th birthday to Pac-Man...
Joe: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME OVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!
Chico: A happy father's day to all the dads out there...
Joe: ...and spread the love. Feels good to say that again.
Jason: Spread the love indeed.