Game Show Newsnet

Episode 25.5 - Zombie Walk
October 18

Gordon: ...so you're busting on your own team?
Chico: It's gotten THAT. BAD. I ask you, G... Better option at QB for the Panthers... Matt Moore, Jimmy Clausen, or a mannequin?
Gordon: Between the first 2, I'd go off the board and say Betty White.
Chico: Yikes. Welcome back to WLTI, where we talk game shows and takes buses to fictional cities inhabited by red furry creatures who LOVE to take your money. It's time to go to Whammyville... where we send Whammys to take famous people or things' money, pride, whatever. Gordon, you want the first?
Gordon: I'll take it.

Live to Dance or Skating With the Stars. Which one of these tired formats needs a whammy?

Chico: Skating. At least dancing has some ever changing elements. Skating... you really can't do anything that hasn't been done already. It's very technical.
Gordon: True. I think Got To dance could bring some stuff out of the box. I don't think we've seen anything from Skating we haven't seen before. Except a skating whammy.

(SKATING WHAMMY)

Chico: Next up...

Rob Mariano... Russell Hantz... or Carrie Prejean. All three have been attached to the next season of Survivor. But who should have an alliancemate that they would rather not?

Gordon: Carrie. The other 2 are there because they can play the game. Carrie is there for the ratings and a quick boot-off.
Chico: Not to mention the T & A factor. You look good in makeup. Have a makeup Whammy.

(MAKEUP WHAMMY: Now that I'm a star, I need make up. Make up!)

Gordon: Nice. Next one....

Cablevision or Fox. for reasons stated earlier.

Chico: Fox, for reasons stated above.
Gordon: I have to go with Fox. I understand if you're hurting now because of the economy, but taking money from the viewers is not the right answer.
Chico: It never is.
Gordon: Usually not.

(MONEY WHAMMY: Hee Hee Hee, I cannot tell a lie... YOU LOSE!)

Chico: That's just a throwaway Whammy right there. :-) Next...

Simon Cowell as "Celebrity Most Women Would Like To See In a Romantic Novel" or Simon Cowell as "Nigel Lythgoe Cannon Fodder." or Simon Cowell as "Lightning". Just pick one.

Gordon: I assume Lightning is an option because that's the name he legally changed his name to for 24 hours?
Chico: Yeah. I mean, I get survey results... and I get Nigel Lythgoe wanting to harp on his former coworker... but "Lightning"?
Gordon: I'd say Nigel Lythgoe Cannon fodder. I know Nigel is hating Simon, but let's be honest. The ratings are going to take a hit next season. So I think the whammy needs to go to Lythgoe here. Less complaining, more fixing.
Chico: A big hit. And we all know it.. but Lightning?
Gordon: I don't know, nor do I want to know. Nor do I ever want to be intimate enough with him to find out.
Chico: Fine. Cannon fodder... meet Cannon Whammy.

(CANNON WHAMMY)

Chico: Ha. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

Nick Cannon or Chelsea Handler. Who gets a whammy for this?

http://x17online.com/celebrities/chelsea_handler/chelsea_handler_sends_nick_cannon_into_a_twitter_rampage-10152010.php

Chico: I honestly couldn't give you a straightforward answer. On one hand, Nick Cannon got downright UGLY. On the other hand, Chelsea Handler IS Chelsea Handler, and I gotta give her the facepalm for being so. So I'll say...Nick Cannon. He gets the Whammy. He could've put her on blast without going THERE.
Gordon: Yeah, well Chelsea started it. And quite frankly, I find Nick Cannon funny. I do not find Chelsea Handler as funny. so I'll send Chelsea a whammy for not being funny and for getting into Nick Cannon's business to begin with.
Chico: I don't find Chelsea funny OR entertaining. But still, you didn't have to go there. Yes she allegedly got the job at E! by methods other than her CV. I didn't need to hear that, though.
Gordon: So she allegedly did go THERE. Nick just called her on it.
Chico: ALLEGEDLY. We need a soundbyte that says "Allegedly"

(OZZY WHAMMY)

Gordon: Give me an alleged last one please.
Chico: Alleged last one.

Don't Forget the Lyrics! or 5th Grader season 2... for reasons stated above.

Gordon: Don't Forget the Lyrics. At least 5th Grader had a successful year #1 under their belts.
Chico: Agreed. We still have season 1 reruns to look at and remember. What Lyrics did was pare the game down to a 10-minute throwaway that's saved by Mark McGrath's hosting ability. And you can QUOTE me on that.
Gordon: When you can get 3 songs done before the first break and only have 2 more the rest of the show, that's a major problem.
Chico: Yep. I mean, the show is supposed to be all about the ride.
Gordon: Its not a fun ride, daddy. I wanna get off.
Chico: The ride is more like the Drop Tower at Kings Dominion... or I guess Dorney Park for you.
Gordon: that would also describe their ratings standpoint.
Chico: Wee!

(BUNGEE WHAMMY)

Gordon: And we're out of Whammies.
Chico: Awww.
Gordon: Chico is going to go into the warehouse and get some tivos right after this
Chico: This oughta take a while...

(Brought to you by Frannie's Watermelon Facials. Because every one needs to have a good melon shoved in their face.)

Gordon: I like my melons soft and mushy. Perfect for facials.
Chico: PLAY THE TAPE!

Chico: You love the tape, don't you?
Gordon: I do. That doesn't get old.
Chico: Neither does pushing the record on your remote.
Gordon: Nope. And there are so many shows to tape and tivo.
Chico: A lot of shows are airing simultaneously... Now we're going to tell you what they mean.
Gordon: Start us off.
Chico: Here now... "What Your TiVo Says About You." I'll start...

Hole in the Wall on Cartoon Network.

Gordon: It means you either have kids who have no taste or you yourself have no taste.
Chico: It means you spend way too much time on YouTube and have the attention span of a gnat.
Gordon: Do gnats have attention spans?
Chico: Dunno.
Gordon: While you ponder, here's the next one...

Survivor Post Jimmy-Johnson

Chico: You're biding your time until the moment Marty is finally found out for the fraud he is.
Gordon: I'm waiting to see the fireworks which will happen once NaOnka is booted.
Chico: I'm guessing that the finger is going to get a workout. You know.. the Claire Huxtable index finger? That thing has to be about 3 feet long.
Gordon: I'm guessing we're\e not talking calisthenics here, are we?
Chico: No sir.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next one...

The Ultimate Fighter: Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck

Gordon: Blood! Gore! Broken Limbs! Hands and feet! MUST! HAVE! MOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEE!!!!!!!
Chico: I'm a man! I'm a BIG man. Gonna kick somebody's ass.
Gordon: We've already had broken hands AND feet AND collarbones. Too violent?
Chico: Nah. Just a day at the office. It's MMA. People are going to get hurt. And it's going to be brutal.
Gordon: You pay your money, you take your chances.
Chico: Basically. Next?

Who Wants To be a Millionaire?

Chico: ... I'm totally chaotic! I just wanna fly by the seat of my pants not knowing ANYTHING of what's going on.
Gordon: I'm a hard core trivia fan that doesn't really care about gameplay.
Chico: And Meredith prompted you to say as much.
Gordon: She did. This is the best format ever!
Chico: No, really...
Gordon: It is! As a celebrity, I'm more than happy to say how wonderful and much improved the new format is! Now where's my check?
Chico: In Belgrade somewhere, I'm guessing.
Gordon: Let me plan my trip. Next one?
Chico: Next one...

The Talk, premiering Monday on CBS in the place of the double runs of the good stuff.

Gordon: I'm pregnant and have a baby and I can't afford medical care, so I'm trusting on these 6 yahoos for advice.
Chico: Actually five yahoos and Sharon Osb... okay, six yahoos. Basically put... "I heart moms." I love moms. I'm a mother lover. Maybe I can love your mother.
Gordon: My mother has a lover from another.
Chico: Okay, we can play 90s R&B group all day, but you have one more...
Gordon: I do. Last one...

Hell's Kitchen

Chico: Simply put, the Yankees aren't playing tonight. But the British are cooking. And that's as good as .... well, Gordon Ramsay is cooking and that's as good as anything.
Gordon: (Points remote at the Tivo. *click* *click* *click*). I got nothing on my Tivo on it. Just a bunch of Cablevision commercials.
Chico: News Corporation has taken Fox away from you.

(Augustus Comes in, takes the Tivo and bites into it. Sparks fly out from it. Augustus throws it against the wall and walks off.)

Gordon: Oooh. A sparkly shower.
Chico: Dude... I've never seen a zombie light up like that. NEVER!
Gordon: That was impressive.
Chico: So is this. It's a Speed round and it's next.
Gordon: Speed Round and Mail next!

(Brought to you by Hell's Gymnasium. How would you like to train irascible customers, serve inedible smoothies, and clean fop sweat off of cardio machines? ALL while being yelled at by a musclebound ex-football player past his prime.... You wouldn't? Didn't think so.)

Gordon: Someone have a bad work out experience?
Chico: No, but I know of a couple. Basically those hot ladies at the smoothie bar who would be a lot hotter if they smiled once in a while?
Gordon: They would. We can talk later. Let's start the Speed Round...now! Survivor: any chance a young-un goes home?
Chico: NaOnka.. GET RID OF HER NOW. I want to see the wavy longfinger come out!
Gordon: I do too, but she's too important now for the numbers. I think it's still dump the old people time. Yve should be making vacation plans.
Chico: Fine. Next dancer to exit the floor?
Gordon: `Bye Bristol
Chico: Barring any boneheadedness from the others. Flo ain't safe neither. Just pointing that out. Especially with the events of the last weekend and the passing of Barbara Billingsley. that just leaves Florence Henderson as America's mom. Before we get into that..

(Silence)

Gordon: Thank you. Jeopardy - will our $72,000 champion makes it through the week?
Chico: How long does Sara last? I think Monday she buys it.
Gordon: I'll give Sara the 5 day mark. then she gets booted.
Chico: Hell's Kitchen... not on this week
Gordon: That's what I'm not watching this week. As well as the rest of FOX's lineup. Do we have any email?
Chico: I got some from Steven Waldie.

TO: WLTI
FROM: Steven Waldie

So far we've heard from two candidates for the "Price Is Right" announcing position, JD Roberto and Jeff Davis.

Both have received mixed reviews and have been criticized for not doing a "real" announcing job, like JD making fun of contestants who take too long to "come on down" and Jeff appearing in place of an absent third model while describing prizes (maybe if it was a model search, it would be fine with me).

Brad Sherwood is candidate #3 and is expected to be a lot better than the first two were.

Here's my suggestion for a new voice of TPIR: How about Shawn Parr? Mike Richards (TPIR executive producer) knows Shawn from his days working at Dick Clark Productions. Shawn is also a DJ at the ONLY country radio station in Los Angeles. Don't know if he'll be able to cram the show into his busy schedule, but I think he would do a great job and much better than the "comedians" we've been hearing the past month.

Chico: Well, here's the think. Thanks, Steven. What Richards isn't looking for, apparently, is someone who'll stay in a booth and read page after page of copy. He wants someone to change it up from time to time to match what he thinks the show should be.
Gordon: I actually like that choice, for a few reasons. He's got the country twang and that will appeal to the heartland of America. The problem, and Chico nailed it, is that they want a comedian, not just a copy reader.
Chico: The problem I had is that a) the change didn't really need to be made in the first place, and 2) the people that have emerged as a result of said change have been, for lack of a better word.. uncaring about respecting the booth and the charge assigned.
Gordon: The changes so far is not better than what we had before the change.
Chico: Nope, and if this is what is going to pass for the norm, we may be in for a long and exhaustive search.
Gordon: And painful. Don't forget painful
Chico: And Painful. You know, if you're going to find someone who'll do what JD and Jeff are doing, at least let them respect the booth.
Gordon: Right. Thanks Steven. Next letter?
Chico: Next is from James Craven.

TO: WLTI
FROM: James Craven

Re: Halloween TPiR. It's a Wizard of Oz theme this year to air October 29th.

Drew will be the Cowardly Lion, the models will dress as Dorothy, the Tin Man, and the Good Witch, while guest announcer Jeff Davis will be the Scarecrow. (Insert your recently resigned Fingers Greco as the Wicked Witch of the West jokes here). And, they'll play Golden, er, Yellow Brick Road!

If anyone has other Halloween themed episodes of game shows, let them know.

Chico: See, now that's cute and everything fits. Even Jeff "I Can't Stay in the Booth To Save My Life" Davis as the Scarecrow.
Gordon: And you know there'll be all sorts of Halloween gimmicks that week.
Chico: It's gonna be good stuff. The last few Halloween shows have been amazing, and I don't see why we can't keep a good thing going.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: From mail to Facebook. We had three suggestions... Hulk Hogan, Neil Patrick Harris... and Eric Pierce. I will buy Neil Patrick Harris. Eric Pierce still has to get his name out there.
Gordon: We've seen Hulk Hogan already and he wasn't awful.
Chico: He wasn't. He was a showman.
Gordon: I would like to see Neil Patrick Harris. And Eric Pierce.
Chico: What would you like to throw up on FB this week?
Gordon: Here's this week's Facebook question:

BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION

You've seen all the shows. What's the best new show out there?

Gordon: And I say that because next week: We do some Maximum Strangth Capsule Reviews.
Chico: And we celebrate our 9 year (and one week) anniversary
Gordon: So that's it for the show. Special thanks to no one in particular, because it's just Chico and me this week.
Chico: Yep. But you can join us by shooting over a mail at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com or visit us on Facebook, MySpace, YouTube... or at a bowling alley near you.
Gordon: That's it for this week. Next week - more stuff. For Chico, this is Gordon Pepper saying Game Over - and Spread the Love.