Game Show Newsnet

Episode 30.2 - Love and Kisses
June 11

Chico: It's (^_^)ing raw!
Jason: Yum. Squab.
Chico: Welcome back to WLTI. Thanks for being a part of our week and allowing us to be a part of yours. Next up, we had a week of premieres. We're going to go over the new ones in our Maximum Strength Capsule Reviews. Hope you're ready for your medication. Here's the first...ARE YOU NORMAL, AMERICA? It's OWN's answer to any Goodson-Todman game from the 70s or 80s.
Jason: Ok.
Gordon: Now the key to this show was the execution.
Chico: Agreed. Now history of the medium is littered with producers hosting their own creations. Barry Poznick, of AYSTA5G fame, is taking his first turn as host... and guess what? He's actually pretty good at it. The problem here? He shares the stage with Kim Coles.
Gordon: I actually don't have a problem with Kim. What I have a problem with is the questions themselves, as it seems it was aimed for a class of 5th graders.
Chico: Oh yeah, there's THAT. The premise itself is okay. Gauge what America's thinking. The execution is where the show fails. There's playing to the naughty crowd, and then there's really stinking up the place.
Gordon: These should be tough questions that make you think. I don't care at all about the material.
Chico: They should've played the Power of 10 questions.
Jason: It feels like they went for the potty humor instead of being controversial.
Chico: That's only because they did.
Jason: Power of 10 actually pushed the envelope.
Chico: Meanwhile it's all stretched out and filled out to fill the hour.

ARE YOU NORMAL, AMERICA? OWN - Monday 8p ET
GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
D	D	D	D

Gordon: The pacing is bad. The questions are uninspiring. If I'm a middle-aged housewife, there's no reason to watch this. Only the hosts stop me from failing this entirely. D.
Jason: Yeah...not happy about this. Boring actually. D.
Chico: D is about right. Also brings about this question... if Oprah thinks THIS show will save her network, you have to ask - Is the network even WORTH saving?
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: Negative. But what about IFC? It's having problems with DISH Network, but it did have a game show premiere on Friday and it's name is BUNK.
Chico: Do tell.
Gordon: Host Kurt Braunohler asks questions to 3 comedians, and their responses get them points. It's like Who's Line is it Anyways if it met Jeopardy and they decided to drop LSD together before watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.
Jason: It reminds of NumberWang on Crack
Gordon: I'd say closer to Graham Norton's show.
Jason: But I watched it and didn't laugh once.
Chico: ... seriously? Too cerebral? Because I thought it was cerebral. I liked it.
Jason: No Bunk. It wasn't funny.
Gordon: As I was about to say - this is a VERY polarizing show. You'll either like it or you'll hope it goes off the air quickly and painfully. This really isn't a game show for me - this is more of a comedian's showcase.
Chico: More like Whose Line than Quick Witz?
Gordon: I'd say more like Graham Norton's Would You Rather and tossing in some Who's Line.
Chico: Which i liked, by the way It's good Friday night beer TV.
Gordon: What makes this show work (or fail) will be the comics. Braunholer has just enough absurdity to make this work - though I can see an equal number of people despising his hosting.

BUNK IFC - Firday 10:30p ET
GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
C-	B-	F	D+

Chico: I'm going to go with B-. Again, the meat is in the sandwich, but it'll live or die on the comics and/or their material.
Jason: I am sorry. F. Hated this with a passion.
Chico: Gordon, you're the voice of reason.
Gordon: I'm going a different tactic. I liked the comics and I liked the material. As a comedy, it gets a solid B, BUT I don't feel it's a game show, and because of that, I'm going with what I graded Norton's show: C-. Next up - it's not a show, but a new game on The Price is Right: Double Cross.
Chico: Can I take this one?
Gordon: How does this work, Chico?
Chico: Like this. there's one line of seven digits. the price of one prize is hidden within it in the correct order. There's ANOTHER line of seven digits, same deal. They share one number: the middle one. All you have to do is move the slider to the correct price, but when you do, it moves THE OTHER slider as well.
Gordon: This is a flashier high tech combo of Push over and Coming or Going.
Chico: So the trick is, you really only need to know ONE price.
Gordon: Or find a selection that makes the most sense for both prices.
Jason: Yes.
Joe: It's one of those games that's better understood if you see it.

Chico: It's played for two 4-digit prizes though it could be played for two cars if it ever came to that.
Jason: I like it.
Joe: And I imagine since the board is computerized, they can change the size of the array if needed, too

DOUBLE CROSS The Price Is Right's New game
GORDON	CHICO	JASON	JOE	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
B-	B-	B-	B	B-

Chico: Yep. It's a nice piece of kit there, and quite creative and challenging. Picks up where Split Decision left off as well.
Jason: I will give it a B-.
Gordon: I like the game. Nothing too groundbreaking here, but it does the job. B-.
Chico: It's a solid B
Joe: That's about where I grade it for now. Fun, clever, quick. B
Gordon: Now we go from daytime to nighttime, where FOX gives us two dating shows. The first one: Take Me Out, an import from Australia.
Chico: It's the Dating Game on steroids. You're a guy and you have 30 chicks hot for you. Until you actually get three rounds to impress them.
Gordon: It's Singled Out, but with the guys behind the wall in control.
Chico: Keep a light on, you have a date for the night, but it's not at London... or Paris... or Rome... or hell, even Jason Block's place. You know that's romantic.
Jason: Where is it?
Chico: You're going to the most romantic place on earth... THE TAKE ME OUT RESORT! They never mention where it is, but it's apparently romantic. The good... well, the bad IS the good. It's incredibly cheesy.
Jason: Which is the point right?
Chico: Exactly. It doesn't hide behind a false pretense. In fact, if anything, it realizes its cheesiness and DOUBLES DOWN on it. No one is going to accuse Take Me Out of classing up the joint. But the game itself ranges from funny to downright disturbing, a range that the show itself is banking on.
Jason: You know what...this is cheese that works. No pretenses.
Gordon: Um...what exactly are you guys watching? This is stink cheese and made me pine for Singled Out. Heck it made me pine for Love Cruise.
Jason: ACK!
Chico: The bad... as in, the negative.... George Lopez is a little wooden. And by a little wooden, I mean Pinocchio. They needed someone snippy to host this. Someone quick to retort. They needed a Dermot O'Leary.

TAKE ME OUT Fox - Thursdays 8p ET
GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
F	C+	C+	C-

Gordon: They needed a new show. I know FOX is importing The Chase, but unfortunate, we need to sit through this mess first. F.
Chico: I'll go with a C+
Jason: C+ is right.
Chico: Pales in comparison to the British series, though.
Gordon: What do you feel is right for The Choice?
Chico: A deep dark hole.
Gordon: 4 male celebrities select beauties from their voice, in an obvious rip-off of that show.
Jason: This is dreck.
Chico: In an attempt to cash in on both "the Voice" and "the Bachelor", Mike Darnell put the call out to clone "The Voice", but instead of a recording contract, you get a date with a C-list celebrity. THIS... is the result. Hence why I get goldfish sushi before Brainvision.

THE CHOICE Fox - Thursdays 9p ET
GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
F	F YOU	F	EPIC FAIL

Gordon: I think someone peed in the bowl first. FU.
Chico: The good... and there is good...
Gordon: Where exactly is there good?
Chico: Cat Deeley is a good host given the material she was given. But if I was her, I'd fire her agent.
Gordon: There's way too much bad here to justify Ms. Deeley. And she needs a better agent.
Chico: If you ask me, SHE should've been hosting Take Me Out. And if I may quote Mike Klauss... The set looks like "a giant metallic vagina." F YOU.
Gordon: Forget Take Me Out. Both shows need to be taken out. F.
Jason: F F F....this.
Gordon: So this gets an EPIC FAIL.
Chico: So far the frontrunner for WORST SHOW OF 2012.
Gordon: And deservedly so. Finally, we have, from the creators of Cupcake Wars, Cupcake Champions.
Chico: It's essentially a tournament of champions, with previous winners of Cupcake Wars giong at it.
Jason: Chopped All Stars meet this.
Chico: Up.
Gordon: The Good - if you like Cupcake Wars, you'll like this.

CUPCAKE CHAMPIONS Foof - Sundays 8p ET
GORDON	CHICO	JASON	JOE	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
C	B	B	C	B-

Chico: The bad... see inverse. B
Jason: Simple and easy this is Cupcake Wars on crack. B.
Joe: Meh, the tasks are more demanding but all it does is make me miss Food Network Challenge. C
Chico: Scott Leibfried will be on your TV forever, though,
Gordon: I don't think it's challenging enough to be honest. The hardest dessert show out there is Sweet Genius, and this doesn't come close to it. C.
Chico: And that's the Capsule Reviews. Go out and get me a refill, G.
Gordon: I prescribe that we take a break before we have one more trip to the toilet.
Chico: That's what happens when you take too many reviews.

(Brought to you by "The Moist." It's a wet T-shirt contest, but you can only judge who wins by the sound of the splash. There won't be a dry seat in the house!)

Choppler computer: the time is now 12:09, and this show has hit rockbottom.

Gordon: With that, lets quickly move on to Push or Flush. Where do we start, Chico?
Chico: We start with...

THE GLASS HOUSE ABC - June 16
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	FLUSH
FLUSH	FLUSH	FLUSH

Chico: It's Big Brother. On ABC
Jason: FLUSH. Too much baggage.
Gordon: FLUSH. I'm throwing stones.
Chico: FLUSH.
Jason: ONE...
Chico: Two
Gordon: THREE!
Jason: PLUNGE!!!!!!!!
Gordon: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Jason: Nasty
Chico: And we can all see it, because... well, it's a glass house. Next...

CHOPPED: GRILL MASTERS Food - July 22
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH	PUSH

Gordon: I like Chopped and I like Grills. Could be fun. PUSH.
Chico: IT's Chopped... with a grill. In Arizona. PUSH.
Jason: PUSH. Meat.
Chico: (FF victory cue)
Gordon: Next one?

TOP CHEF MASTERS Bravo - July 25
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH	PUSH

Chico: Another foodgasm in the making. PUSH.
Jason: PUSH indeed. It's TOP CHEF
Gordon: It is. PUSH it
Chico: (FF victory cue)
Gordon: Next one?

HGTV DESIGN STAR ALL-STARS HGTV - July 31
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PUSH
PUSH	PUSH	PUSH

Gordon: You know what? PUSH this, Why not?
Chico: Why not indeed. HGTV is doing something right. PUSH.
Jason: THey are. PUSH
Gordon: (FF victory cue) Next one?

AMERICAN BIBLE CHALLENGE GSN - August 23
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	PASTRY
PASTRY	PASTRY	PASTRY

Gordon: I always thought you should do a Bible show - but not on GSN. Pastry.
Chico: Agreed. Jeff Foxworthy's going to be a great host. But this show shouldn't be on GSN. Pastry.
Jason: Wrong Channel. Right Show. PASTRY.
Chico: (sound of a toaster)
Gordon: Next?

FOUR HOUSES TLC - July 2
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	FLUSH
FLUSH	JIGGLE	FLUSH

Chico: Remember "Come Dine With Me"? It's like that... with houses.
Gordon: I hate as a contestant to grade the other ones. Boring and a cop out. JIGGLE.
Chico: FLUSH for said reasons.
Jason: FLUSH...this looks awful
Chico: Could be bad.
Gordon: Next?

EXTREME CHEF Food - August
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	FLUSH
FLUSH	JIGGLE	JIGGLE

Chico: Now it's like Around the World in 80 Plates, rather than Chopped.
Gordon: I preferred it when it was Chopped. Jiggle.
Chico: I don't know if the change was warranted or even needed. FLUSH.
Jason: JIGGLE...we don't need this.
Chico: And finally, the crown gem of CW's schedule....

OH SIT! ABC - June 16
CHICO	GORDON	JASON	FLUSH
FLUSH	FLUSH	FLUSH

Chico: Knock knock...
Jason: Who's There?
Chico: NOBODY! FLUSH
Gordon: A Band. That's It. FLUSH
Jason: MAKE IT A SWEEP...FLUSH. ONE...
Chico: TWO
Gordon: THREE!
Jason: PLUNGE!!!!!!!!
Gordon: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Chico: A perfect way to end a craptacular summer. And we'll end the show with a Speed Round on the other side

(Sponsored by Hit Horse. This is the only game show where there will be no Triple Crown. Aw.)

Chico: Awww.
Gordon: Running out of time so Speed Round starts...now! AGT: We finding a winner?
Chico: We already found him, and spoiler alert, his name is NOT Tim Poe. Even if he does get through, he LOST the vote.
Gordon: Jeopardy - any big winners?
Chico: Not this week.
Jason: Nope. Last week of Wheel...anything big happen?
Gordon: Nope. it would have happened during May. If you want to send us email, send some at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com. Or Twitter. Facebook or YouBoob us.
Chico: We love to hear from you.
Gordon: That ends the show this week, Special thanks to Jason and Joe for joining us.
Jason: Always a pleasure.
Chico: Next week, we set up the It Board and compare the 10 best game show hosts of all time. I'm gong to get diapers, because someone's going to ask me who my daddy is.
Gordon: That and we talk about Figure it out. For all of us, this is Gordon, saying Game Over and Spread the Love.