Episode 23.8 - Blame It On El Nino
March 1

Jason: Oh please LOL... He is engaged.
Chico: Yeah, that'll happen. Welcome back to WLTI. Game show news, information, and insight. It's fast, easy, and after 5 or 10 shows, it gets to be quite a rush.
Gordon: It does. So does making predictions.
Jason: I can do that
Chico: Me too.
Gordon: We start with this...

We know about the specialty shows. What's the chances that Drew Carey's 500th show will get to break even or better?

Chico: I'm going 42%. I have hope. I can have hope, right?
Jason: I will say 25%. It depends on the casting coordinators, who have been the biggest problems of the 38th season.
Chico: They've been looking for jumpers and screamers. And you know, that's what you have to be in order to be captivating.. You have to be a jumper and a screamer. We've said this time and time again.
Jason: But you have to know the game.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: 15%. I think TPIR will be doing some traditional stuff, and we know how well that goes over with the contestants.
Chico: Because they don't know how to do anything but jump and scream.
Jason: YAY! JUMP!JUMP!JUMP!
Chico: Or be like Block.
Gordon: ME! PICK ME! I'M A GUITAR!
Chico: Or like Pepper. Next...

While we're on special anniversaries. Wayne and company are celebrating #100 this week. What's the percentage of anything special happening THERE?

Jason: 100%. CBS has been sending pictures to that effect.
Gordon: 100% CBS's promo pics say so.
Chico: Yep. But still... it's going to be good to watch.
Jason: And when that happens, it will be must see TV. Trust us.
Gordon: I would think so. Next one...

The singers on American Idol MUST get better, right? We want not the % of if it will be better, but the % of singers who WILL be better.

Jason: I will say 25%. This class reeks of nerves.
Chico: I'll be conservative and go 40%. I mean, you can't get worse than last week, but still... They all gotta start somewhere.
Gordon: I'll say 60% of the singers will be better. They can't possibly be worse. Last week was brutal.
Chico: And that's being kind, I'm guessing.
Gordon: That is. next one?
Chico: Next...

Million Dollar Movie Week is this week. What are the odds of someone making it past ... $50,000?

Jason: 75%. This is a pop culture person's wet dream
Chico: I heart Million Dollar Movie week.
Gordon: 80%. These are all movie questions and we usually find a superstar here.
Chico: Agreed. I'll go 85%.
Gordon: Next one...

Just to torment Gordon even more (since you all like doing that), what's the % that The Cube becomes a hit?

Chico: I'll say CBS does the right thing and puts it on over the summer out of Big Brother or something. 70%.
Jason: Hmmm....honestly...40%. Because Minute to Win It is going to flame out badly.
Gordon: 6.9%. If you come out second with a failed concept, you'll fail.
Chico: I'm apparently the only one hoping this does well. :-) Oh well.
Gordon: Don't misunderstand me. I hope The Cube does well. I don't want any game show to fail.
Chico: "But let's be real here"?
Gordon: Exactly. I'm also a realist.
Jason: What G said.
Gordon: And to think otherwise is foolish.
Chico: Fair enough. Last one...

What are the odds that something either HAS "happened" or WILL "happen" on Mark Burnett's Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? You know what I'm talking about.

Jason: I do. And you know what I want to say.
Chico: I do.
Jason: And I will. 100%. I don't believe a word of what is coming from the Burnett camp.
Gordon: 100%. The kids were provided 'study materials', so obviously, some of this is set up from the get go.
Chico: I'm going to go with both. I mean, some of it is set up. Whether or not the contestant is apprised of it has yet to be revealed. But honestly... I wouldn't be surprised if the show was tainted either willfully or no. Because now all of this is coming to light.
Gordon: As for the contestants...25%. I don't think it was done, but as we've seen certain questions set up for certain weeks, and contestants set up in certain shows, the potential is certainly there.
Chico: Agreed.
Jason: This makes me sad, that we are talking about this.
Chico: In 2010, no less.
Jason: DOESN'T ANYBODY LEARN?
Gordon: Um.....no.
Jason: There you go
Chico: Okay, that'll do it for the Percentages. When we come back... we get our funny on with captions.

(Brought to you by Instant Total Recall... How's your memory? If it's good enough, it could get you a trip to Mars. Just watch out for the big hulking dude with the gun trying to take you out.)

Jason: And make sure you have an oxygen tank
Gordon: Is it one way or 2 way trip?
Chico: Round trip. Surprisingly no one makes it back, though. Weird.
Jason: Very.
Chico: Not weird at all... at least from where I'm standing... SNAPS! Snaps as in photos, photos as in captions, captions as in funny.
Jason: I will try :)
Chico: You know how this works so let's get it started with...


Courtesy CBS.com

Jason: That is the newest Valet Bird Bath in Beverly Hills
Chico: Tiffany Coyne does the classy thing and offers a towel to our penguin friend... Putting the Tiffany back in Tiffany Network.
Gordon: Tiffany shows us that some of these prizes are for the birds.
Jason: (ugh)
Chico: See how easy that was?
Jason: Not bad
Chico: Want to do another?
Jason: Sure.


Courtesy Disney/ABC Television

Chico: I got one. Here we have a contestant with two boobs.... and she also has breasts.
Jason: See no brains, hear no brains, speak no brains.
Gordon: It's Suburbiadog Millionaire!
Chico: Gordon, I have to ask... are housewives this real in NJ?
Jason: Unfortunately, some are. Same with Snooki
Gordon: It depends on whether the toxic fumes in Elizabeth NJ rots out their brains first.
Chico: Nice.
Gordon: And for those Real Housewife fans, the hatemail goes to wlti@gameshownewsnet.com
Chico: Heh. Next photo....


Courtesy CBS.com

Gordon: And if you win the car, you get a free baby!
Jason: The baby is shocked at all the dumb play of the contestants lately
Chico: Gwennie's kid's probably thinking... "I want a car like this when I grow up."'
Gordon: TPIR isn't giving out babies with their prizes, are they?
Chico: No. I think that's illegal. In this country.
Gordon: Or that's just the mentality you need to get on the show. Next one?
Chico: Okay, next up...


Courtesy Getty Images

Gordon: Yoanna's got a full house :)
Jason: Yoanna makes Jocelyn Wildenstein look normal.
Chico: Yoanna House swears she had only a boob job. She also has a chronic addiction to bronzer, apparently.
Gordon: You know you were asking about the Real Housewives of NJ? Well now Yoanna can qualify as one, She's got the look down pat.
Jason: There you go.
Chico: Are we talking a real housewife that lives in NJ... or a "Real Housewife of NJ?"
Gordon: Both? She just needs pronunciation lessons from Snooki and she's good to go.
Chico: Okay. Next up...


Courtesy Zap2it TV

Chico: That is Chris Golightly. Class... This is what FAIL looks like.
Gordon: It's the new Chris Golightly brillo pad! Good for getting rid of unsightly stains and whine...I mean wine.
Jason: Chris Sligh called, he wants his mojo back
Chico: And his seething.
Gordon: That sort of does look like Chris Sligh's younger brother.
Chico: Yep. Last one...


Courtesy GSN/Youtube

Jason: Wink...where is your dignity?
Chico: Wink Martindale.... the new MC Smoov. He was the playa before all you Johnny-come-lately wankstas were even born into the game. Yup yup. The return of the king. Represent.
Gordon: Now casting: Flavor of Wink. We need 25 game show hotties to date this hot legendary Game show MC. Who wants some?
Jason: You know, I would watch.
Chico: And of course... it's all in fun. I'm giving Instant Recall an honest chance. Can't be worse than that other show.. I forgot all about it already. That's how bad it was.
Gordon: You mean...HIDDEN AGENDA!
Chico: ... Jerk. =p
Gordon: You know, if they put this on instead of Hidden Agenda, I'd say it has a shot. It's all in the execution. I hope it does well.
Chico: So do I.
Jason: We do.
Chico: And that ends the visual portion of the show. When we come back, we get all aural with the Speed Round.
Gordon: Which we'll do...after this!

(Brought to you by America's Next Top Model Turkeys. So what makes our turkeys better than most other turkeys? a Bigger breast, of course! Available in natural and botox flavors and silicon flavors)

Jason: mmmmm botox
Chico: It takes a tough man to make a tender... turkey?
Gordon: It takes a tough scalpel.
Chico: Does it take a tough person to start the Speed Round?
Gordon: It does, so I'll start it...now! Survivor: will a Parvati member go home?
Chico: If the Villains are smart they will... so she won't.
Jason: I think the Villains may be cracking a bit.
Chico: They need to come together to oust the common enemy. Parvati's a threat through and through.
Gordon: I think the Villains win the next challenge, so the heroes will dump out a person. Bye Candace.
Chico: She'll be in plenty of time for her wedding (thanks, Fayetteville Observer for THAT.) Who's out of the Race?
Jason: The detectives
Chico: Yep
Gordon: I'll go with that. American Idol. Since we did just so well on this, pick someone who will NOT be eliminated.
Jason: Alex Lambert... Not... Casey James
Gordon: I'll say Crystal Bowersox to stay...
Chico: Definite in: Crystal Bowersox. Definite out: Haeley Vaughn. She's starting to grate.
Gordon: I think Haeley is in. I'll say lights out Lacey Brown.
Jason: Definite out: Alex Lambert.
Chico: Definite out: Tim Urban. Definite In: Casey James.
Gordon: Something that's always in: Email. And before I read this letter, I have a gift for all of you.
Chico: Aww.
Gordon: (Passes out Dunce Caps)
Chico: Oh dear.
Jason: Uh oh
Gordon: This from Stat Boy

Jason: Well, that was a hard first week
Chico: I know. I mean... you try picking from that dreck. It's damn near impossible.
Gordon: We didn't expect them to be THAT bad. That being said, I take pride in my dunce cap and I will wear it well - and keep it on until we redeem ourselves next week.
Jason: We will. Cause that's how we roll
Gordon: Speaking of which, this week's show is over. Thanks to Jason Block for joining us today.
Jason: Always fun. And let's hope for NO MORE SNOW!!!!!
Chico: Before we go, though. Just want to say hi to the newest member of the GSNN family... a while back we had a contributor named Kim.. she was a contestant on Shop 'til You Drop and On the Cover and Russian Roulette... Just gave birth to the cutest baby girl you've ever seen. Baby and parents are doing just fine.
Jason: Very cool and congratulations.
Chico: So.. Hi, Lena Marie :-)
Gordon: Awesome. Now if you have any other baby announcements to make, where should they make them?
Chico: They can send them to wlti@gameshownewsnet.com OR you can find us on Facebook.. or Myspace... or GSNN's Video Wall channel at Youtube.com
Gordon: Before we end this, what to watch and what NOT to watch: Chico?
Chico: Watch: Instant Recall. Not Watch: the Bachelor finale. Ugh. I'll read about the fallout later. I swear. 2 hours to make a 10 minute decision.
Gordon: But must watch for Chico: The Bachelor wedding on the next week.
Chico: That'll make 2... two out of millions. =p
Jason: Also, you should watch the Bachelor Finale for the new DWTS cast.
Gordon: See Chico? You have to watch now :)
Chico: Wonderful. We hope you'll watch US next week. Reviews of Marriage Ref and Instant Recall on tap.
Gordon: So until next time, when we see Chico in a real swell mood, this is Gordon, saying Game Over and Spread the Love.