Episode 20.3
January 26

Chico: You'd think that the snow would make it easy when it fills the holes, but here's the thing... Snow melts... then refreezes into ice... Not good.
Jason: Not good.
Gordon: No. Bad. Very very bad. But fun, nonetheless. What's our first game, Chico?
Chico: Our first game...  We've all seen AI.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: We all know that we're currently in the WTF portion of the series.
Jason: Yes again.
Chico: There are people who get in because they're naturally talented, and then there are people who... well... don't. We give you six reasons why as we play... How NOT to Play...American Idol's audition game.
Jason: Got it.
Chico: First thing...

1) Obviously, if you can't sing... Don't try.

Jason: That's the worst one of them at all.
Gordon: You can't sing? You don't get in.
Chico: You try to sing and you sound like Jason Block
Jason: But a lot of those people have never been told NO...ever.
Chico: That's because their loved ones have been humoring them. A LOT.
Gordon: and that leads to...

2) Don't argue with the judges. Ever.

Jason: Never a good thing.
Chico: We have one A&R guy, one award-winning singer, one award-winning producer, and one award-winning songwriter. Simply put... THEY KNOW MORE THAN YOU.
Jason: Of course they do.
Gordon: We have had people convince the judges by suggesting choices or pleading. Sometimes pleading works. What doesn't work is telling the judges they suck.
Jason: Which leads to the expletive filled videos which we see every year.
Gordon: Its good TV, but you won't make it past Hollywood. And you certainly won't get America's vote. That leads us to...

3) You are auditioning not just for the judges, but for AMERICA.

Chico: Give us a reason to love you. Because ultimately, we're the final judge and jury.
Jason: And this year, they are spotlighting on you more. Which is a VERY GOOD thing.
Chico: Betcha didn't know that, did you? =p
Jason: You know, I learned something on this one. That's good.
Gordon: And keep this in mind. The judges are selecting 36 people that will try to make money for them. Egos do not work here. Even if you are more talented, you will not get chosen if you come off as an egotistical bitch.
Chico: But you have to remember that there is a difference between getting us to love you and getting us to remember you, which gives us #4...

4) Gimmicks don't work 99.999% of the time.

Jason: They don't work EVER. I am sorry. I don't want your banana..we aren't all brothers and I want sex.
Gordon: I disagree. Gimmicks work if you back them up.
Jason: Like Bikini Girl?
Gordon: Like Bikini Girl. And Asia and India the rappers as India has a decent voice. But they only work if you have the voice. Bikini Girl had a good voice. India had a good voice. Man with cheerleaders - too over-vibrato and the cheerleaders, who were terrible, backfired on him.
Chico: The bikini got her in the door. The mediocre singing got her to Hollywood. That would be the exception that proves the rule.

5) Song selection, song selection, song selection.

Jason: This is a lesson people NEVER SEEM to learn.
Chico: If you're an opera singer and you want to sing opera in a pop competition... chances are you won't be selected. If you idolize a singer and can't seem to get out of that vibe... chances are you will not be selected.
Jason: Don't choose a song out of your voice range
Gordon: Some people have learned it and learned it well. My home girl from NJ, Ashley Anderson, not only selected a good song, she selected one that was produced by Simon Cowell, and Cowell raved about her performance. Select a good song that challenges your vocal range and sing it. Don't try to imitate the singer.
Chico: That's usually a bad thing.
Jason: Very.
Chico: Which leads us to #5a... Do your research... But don't OVERDO your research.
Jason: What does that mean?
Chico: Ashley Anderson picked a song Simon Cowell wrote. That played to his ego. Then there was Overbearing Anatomy Girl, trying to use science to make herself a better singer. Who do you think you are?
Jason: Got it.
Chico: Singing makes you a better singer.
Gordon: Finally...

6) This is a SINGING competition.

Gordon: Worry about the singing. Don't dance, oversing, be theatrical, or do anything else that not only won't help your performance, but would actually detract from your singing.
Chico: You're not being judged on your moves. You're being judged on a) your voice, and b) your capacity to make the series and/or the label money
Jason: Yeah....I thought Von Smith would be out because his arms were all over the place.
Chico: Unfortunately, he's a decent singer. I doubt he makes top 12 unless his YouTube friends mobilize.
Gordon: I think he will make the Top 36.
Chico: Top 36 is a given.
Jason: He will.
Gordon: But yes, very shaky. The performance aspect is part of the singing competition - but it can also get you a spot on votefortheworst.com very very quickly.
Chico: You bet your sweet can it will
Jason: Right.
Chico: Okay, that's how NOT to play. Next up, what do we got, G?
Gordon: Next up, a game we know how to play. But first - a commercial.

(Brought to you by Tony Hightower's Drunken Smartass Olympics. Trivia? Check. Spirituous beverages? Check. Pub grub? Check. What's not to love?)

Jason: That's every Wednesday night at Dempsey's Pub...61 2nd Avenue, NY NY
Gordon: If you're in the area, check it out.
Chico: We did. Got the silver... $15 off our tab. Next time, I propose this as a team name... Ben Ziek's Groovealicious Love Machine.
Gordon: ...um...no.
Chico: Can't say I didn't try.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: What about the Sanrio Stores that exist in Chico Alexander's imagination?
Chico: I swear I saw one. =p
Gordon: I'm sure it was right by the grazing Chocobo.
Chico: The one that tells me to hurt you? Yeah.
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: So anyways, It's time for Trios.
Chico: We all know how to play this, so kick it off, G.
Gordon: Let's stay on Idol for a moment.

Bikini Girl
India the Rapper
Psychic Girl

Gordon: All three get into Hollywood. Which one lasts the longest?
Jason: Bikini Girl. She has the most talent.
Chico: Bikini Girl. Also has the most... ... to work with.
Gordon: I'm going to go Psychic Girl. She has the best voice. I think Bikini Girl's skeletons and her mouthing off to Kara will do her in.
Chico: She like showing it to the camera... Now this is Tatiana from Puerto Rico we're talking about, right?
Gordon: Si, Papi
Chico: K. Because I like her the most, but I think Katrina will last the longest. Next...

The game
The host
The lack of an audience

Chico: Trivial Pursuit: America Plays is NOT going to NATPE this year. One question... WHY.
Gordon: Lack of an audience. Unfortunately, as much as TPAP is THIS close to a renewal (and I feel it may still get one), the problem is that the economy is so far down south that the profit they are making on the show may not be enough.
Jason: I agree with G. I still think it will be renewed for Season 2. It has a loyal (albeit small audience).
Chico: I have high hopes for this, too. But this is just a troubling sign for a troubled show. I'm going to go with audience. It's a good show.. It's a good mechanic. But it needs people to discover it. And they need to discover it rather quickly. Okay, what's next?
Gordon: Next one...

Fumes from a Styrofoam Wall
Dust from a Downtown Brooklyn Sublet
Radiation from an Earpiece

Gordon: What has the greatest potential to get someone violently ill?
Chico: Dust. Definitely dust.
Jason: Dust from The Real World. Definitely.
Gordon: For those who don't get the joke, these would be the props used in Hole In The Wall, The Money and The Power and Game Show In My Head, all slated to (mercifully) end their runs this past week....The Real World, Jay?
Jason: They are in Downtown Brooklyn this year. Wrong MTV show. But yeah....same thought.
Gordon: Since when was The Real World a game show?
Jason: Sorry.
Chico: The dust, it does something to your brain. Makes you think that things are important when they're not.
Gordon: Wait a sec...Jason...where do you live? Chico, where does Jason live?
Chico: Brooklyn.
Gordon: Ah. Ok. The dust definitely does something to your brain.
Jason: Sure. Sure. LOL
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next...

Rapper
Choreographer
Boy-Bander

Chico: Who's the most qualified to judge, let's say... a dance competition... involving, let's say... crews.
Jason: Honestly...the one who didn't tell the white oriented dancers to be black.
Gordon: Based on what I've seen the past 2 weeks, I'd like to go off the board and say the member of the team that won season 1.
Chico: DING!
Jason: You win.
Gordon: What do I win, Chico?
Chico: SWEET NOTHING!
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: CREDIBILITY!
Gordon: Next one?

Drew Carey Winning a Game Show Emmy for TPIR During his Tenure
Top Chef on NBC
Chocobo Grazing on Chico's Front Lawn

Gordon: Which of these things are we most likely to see happen?
Chico: Top Chef.
Jason: Honestly...Top Chef. Drew Carey...mark it down here...will never win OR BE NOMINATED.
Chico: We'll hold you to that.
Jason: If I am wrong, I will be the first to own up.
Gordon: Jason's used to doing that.
Chico: Ha.
Gordon: And I expect more yummy dinners and desserts from Jason as the Idol season moves on.
Jason: lol
Gordon: I'll go with Top Chef, because I can see them bringing it in during the summer of counter-acting Super Bowl Programming (Obviously not this year, since NBC has the Superbowl, but maybe next year). But Chico, I can send you a Chocobo and you can put it on your front lawn.
Chico: Goodie. And finally...

Europe
Asia
America

Chico: Which of these is a city?  Kidding. The REAL question.. Where does the next big game show idea come from?
Gordon: ME, of course. America.
Jason: I think it will come out of Asia. Japan specifically. But yes, you 2nd.
Chico: I'm going to say it's America's time. After all we've given the world, it's time again.
Gordon: Seriously, it's up to the TV people. They need to be willing to take a chance on American ideas instead of relying on Foreign concepts, which as we have seen lately, haven't panned out so well.
Jason: I would hope so.
Gordon: Come on, Producers. The new talent is out there. Pick it.
Chico: I know you have it in you. That's a break. Speed Round is NEXT!

(Brought to you by Chico & Gordon's Chicken Tetrazzini. It's the spiciest, the juiciest, the best... but seriously... keep it away from your best friend's significant other)

Jason: That is SO true. Trust us on this one. Food leads to...well...you know.
Gordon: You'll find out what we mean in a few weeks on The Maury Show.
\Chico: One thing we don't want to keep you... or your best friend... or your best friend's mate... from... the Speed Round!
Gordon: Speed Round Starts...now! Idol - Will we see the winner this week?
Jason: Where are we this week?
Chico: Jacksonville and...  Either PR or SLC
Jason: I say yes. We see it this week.
Chico: We have to. Or a contender
Jason: right.
Gordon: I think we see a major contender this week. We haven't seen many so far, and I think they may be saving those for Hollywood, which should be amazing.
Chico: Possibly.
Gordon: Matt Kohlstedt - how far can he go?
Chico: I think he stops at 8
Jason: I say 7
Gordon: 7/8 sounds about right.
Jason: If he goes farther...more power to you.
Gordon: TPIR...will we get a week with no major technical errors or bad showcases?
Jason: Nope.
Chico: Sorry. Anything else before we get to mail? And we've got some mail this week.
Gordon: Nope. Start up the email.
Chico: This one from Justin Root. He was also on the Password with...Betty White. Awww.

Jason: Thanks Justin. Keep reading.
Gordon: Thanks Justin. I love those emails.
Chico: We really appreciate the kind words. Next up, your friend, Gordon... Identity Withheld!
Gordon: Wheeeeee!

Jason: Uh oh. We have to do this occasionally. But a valuable lesson.
Gordon: Ok. I don't know what game show you are talking about. I do know we aren't running any game shows here, unless you want us to send you Jason Block as a prize.
Jason: Hey!
Gordon: You should be happy we let you out of the box at the end of last episode and didn't send you to Guam.
Jason: True.
Gordon: But...we can always use recappers. If you want to recap a show, send us email at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com.
Chico: Moving on to ... hey, another one!

Gordon: This I can understand. May I respond?
Jason: Go ahead.
Chico: Sure
Gordon: Game Show Network split Millionaire from 8 and 830 to 8 and 9. And they broke it up in half hour segments. I agree that the practice is stupid. Unfortunately, we're not Game Show Network, so we can't do anything about it.
Chico: Sorry. But still, please remember... we're but a voice for the game show industry, not the head and body of it.
Gordon: We got any more?
Chico: Last up is the next chapter of "The Letter"

Jason: I can answer that. From the rules...

This Promotion is open only to entrants who are twenty one (21) years of age or older at the time of entry, and is void in and to residents of countries currently subject to United States embargo or on the United States list of state sponsors of terrorism and where prohibited by law. For a current list of countries currently subject to United States embargo or on the United States list of state sponsors of terrorism, go to http://www.pmddtc.state.gov/embargoed_countries/index.html.

Jason: This begs the 2nd question...do you think the show will be extended past the Feb 27, 2009 deadline? I think it will be. They have given out over $150,000 so far
Chico: Why not? Stick with a good thing, i say
Gordon: We'll find out if the ratings warrant it.
Chico: Obviously going a good thing if they extend it to another three hours, you know?
Gordon: And right now, if you believe that we warrant some email, where do they send it, Chico?
Chico: Send it over to wlti@gameshownewsnet.com. Or look for us on Facebook, myspace, and YouTube
Gordon: And that ends another show. Special thanks to Jason Block for joining us today.
Jason: As always, thank you.
Chico: And thank you for reading.
Gordon: For everyone, this is Gordon Pepper, saying Game Over and Spread the Love.