Episode 23.3 - Happiness & Heartbreak
January 25

Gordon: But think of all the angular fun you could have!
Josh: "My Angles are many/My sides are not few/I'm a dodecahedron/and who are you?" --The Phantom Tollbooth
Chico: I'm Chico. I can imagine all that angular fun.
Josh: I can imagine getting all cross-eyed in there
Chico: Hey there. Welcome back to WLTI. Good clean fun from dirty old men.
Josh: Who are you calling old?
Gordon: Now when we do the show, we trade off graphics. But the Paula Vs. Simon one is a graphic that Chico created.
Chico: Yes.
Josh: I bet it has yet to be changed, right?
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Well, we have no more Paula. She's gone from American Idol, and we like to be topical.
Chico: So we say goodbye to the Simon vs. Paula graphic. You served us well, old friend... but, you know... change is good.
Gordon: So we now have Simon...Vs....ELLEN!

Josh: Yay
Chico: The premise is the same, though. One person will spin a news item positively. The other... negatively... and rather boorishly, I might add.
Josh: Ok.
Chico: And as always... Arguments will end without warning, so put it up if you got it up. First up...

Gordon is Simon. Josh is Ellen. The subject is: Ping's burlap butt dress from Project Runway.

Josh: It was a different and innovative design that really shows that person is fearless. You can also use the floppy sides to hold some beverage bottles.
Gordon: I would have to be fearless if I was going to be modeling that atrocity. What I don't understand is how she's not even in the bottom 2, let alone out, for that disaster.
Josh: I think the judges appreciate that she has a different point of view of fashion.
Gordon: I'd be using those holes for brewskis so I could drink enough of it to be inebriated when I'm wearing the dress so I don't realize I'm in it.
Josh: Can you make a dress in that short amount of time? I know I couldn't even make a dress if I had unlimited time.
Gordon: The dress is so bad that not even Quisla Alexander would go anywhere near it.
Josh: DAAH!

(AIRHORN)

Chico: She wouldn't have gone anywhere near it regardless.
Gordon: She could probably make a better dress.
Chico: And for the record, Ping should've probably gone home after LAST week. I'm not saying. I'm just saying.
Josh: LOL
Chico: Next?
Gordon: Ok. next one...

Chico is Ellen. Josh is Simon. The subject is: Steve Harvey as Family Feud Host.

Josh: His comedy is too vulgar to be the host of a family program.
Chico: It's good to see a good comic come on as a game show host. It makes a statement, someone of his stature and literacy.
Josh: Last time they tried that was Louie Anderson. And we know how bad that became.
Chico: That's different. He's a boorish comedian. Steve, though, he's got swag.
Josh: And can you imagine the suits he'd wear?
Chico: Yes I can.
Josh: He always looks like a used car salesman.
Chico: I think purple suits him.
Josh: Steve Harvey is not the right fit for the show. John O Hurley was the best fit for this program since Richard Dawson.
Chico: No one thought Ray Combs could pull it off either, and he was pretty good.
Josh: Ray Combs was the feud host of the 80s.
Chico: He was.
Josh: I'd hate to see Steve Harvey take the show down with jokes that no one would understand.
Chico: And hey... it's not Richard Karn, at least.
Josh: It's worse than Karn.
Chico: How many times can we TRIPLE THE POINTS!
Josh: Karn was milking stuff. Harvey will take that to the nth degree.
Chico: Yeah, you think so. Your idea of humor is Les Dennis and his three foot hair.
Josh: My Idea of Humor is Jerry Seinfeld, thank you very much.

(AIRHORN)

Josh: Damn, it's so hard to be negative about a guy I actually like as a Standup!
Chico: I tell ya. He'll be fine.
Josh: He will be
Gordon: Next one...

Gordon is Ellen. Chico is Simon. The subject: The Cube POSSIBLY coming to the US.

Chico: It'll never work.
Gordon: People like Beat the Clock. They like silly stunts. See Wipeout.
Chico: They also like road trips, but that doesn't mean they should make them into a TV show.
Gordon: Its pressure and nerves of steel. As long as they keep the pace of the game moving, they will be fine and it can be a hit.
Chico: It's just going to be boring, staid, and repetitive. NBC's going to dilute it with that rubbish they're putting on the air.
Gordon: You can have different challenges, And if they make them ones that you can try out at home, even better.
Chico: Who's going to try something they saw on a TV show?
Gordon: Now you mean like sing in front of a navtionally televised musical audition show? I don't know who would possibly do that.
Chico: Touche'. But who'd you have hosting it?
Gordon: As long as they don't have Jay Leno hosting the show, we'll be ok. Get Conan O'Brien. He's not doing anything.
Chico: Not till September. But still, not even Conan would go near this show. Too much of a risk, and I'll tell you why. Repetition.

(AIRHORN)

Gordon: Next one...

Josh is Ellen. Chico is Simon. The subject: Deal or No Deal getting a 3rd season in Syndication

Josh: Considering the fact that it is now a compressed 30 minute format, it works better.
Chico: Because it worked so well the first time. Give me a break. No show has ever survived a sophomore slump. Especially not one that DOND has.
Josh: Howie Mandel still works the show very well.
Chico: Of course, Howie works well. That's why AGT snagged him. that ought to be the nail in the coffin.
Josh: Oh, I doubt Howie will be gone from DOND. He could pull double duty once AGT returns to Hollywood.
Chico: I doubt it. I mean, it's DOND. It's not the type of show you can bang out from God knows where (and I really mean that), then go to Hollywood to do AGT.
Chico: And while we're on that topic.. Where is DOND taping nowadays?
Josh: Connecticut. :P
Chico: As in NOW-adays.
Josh: Oh, well they finished taping for the season, that's all. It's not a problem.
Chico: When MyTV is showing season 1 shows instead of season 2... THAT's a problem. And it's a big problem.
Josh: I still see it as an attention getting show that's a good syndicated project in 30 minutes.
Chico: I don't mean to be rude here, but DOND was an idea whose time has come. Now it's an idea who's run its course.

(AIRHORN)

Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next... Gordon, you need some love up in you.
Gordon: No I don't.
Chico: Yes you do.

Gordon is Ellen. Josh is Simon. The subject: Pants on the Ground.

Gordon: This is the biggest dance craze around!!! The View loves it. And if The View loves it, it's gotta be good, right?
Josh: This song is about as annoying as "I'm Too Sexy" mixed with "Tubthumping". It's so annoying, it's might actually be a hit. Plus, it goes against every single fashion trend for pop music's target audience...TEENS.
Gordon: It's going to be Huuuuge! Pants on the ground! I even have my own rap to it! You wanna hear?
Josh: Ellen, the only reason I would see that would be to see you dance. And to Laugh.
Gordon: Hoff on the Ground. Hoff on the Ground, Looking like a fool with a cheeseburger in your mouth.
Josh: I'm done
Gordon: Head turned sideways. Hoff on the ground. And poor Piers. Call yourself a Cool Brit...

(AIRHORN)

Gordon: What?
Chico: I'm sorry... I couldn't let you finish...
Gordon: You don't like Hoff on the Ground?
Chico: With a cheeseburger in his mouth, mouth turned sideways... no.
Josh: Not funny.
Chico: Git'em up... Get your Hoff off the ground...Now you got me doing it.
Gordon: See? It's catchy.
Josh: Um....Still not funny.
Gordon: You. Both. No. Fun.
Chico: Gordon, get us out of this...
Gordon: Last one...

Chico is Ellen. Gordon is Simon. The subject: Carnie Wilson: Unstapled.

Chico: Wow. Carnie's got her own series. Isn't that something.
Gordon: Oh it's something, alright. There's nothing here worth watching. Why isn't this on Lifetime or WE or MyNetwork or HGTV or anywhere else except GSN? I'd rather watch Diamond Dallas Page. heck, I'd rather watch the pastry chefs than have to endure this again.
Chico: Because the Newlywed Game is on the network... and it's a smash. And I got to play with her.
Gordon: You can have her. And take her debt and bland family with you.
Chico: And don't you want to see the day of a game show host? Or the family? Or her goodies? Or her neuroses
Gordon: Um...you want to see Carnie's goodies? Ew.

(AIRHORN)

Josh: I don't wanna see 'em either
Gordon: Chico LOVED that topic.
Chico: Yeah, and afterwards... a trip to the toilet.
Gordon: Speaking of which, we conclude the season's Happy Toilet time after the break. Stay with us.

(Brought to you by Panties on the Ground. Just a reminder to all those who are auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance in the upcoming weeks - PLEASE WEAR UNDERGARMENTS AND PLEASE WEAR THEM IN SOMETHING BESIDES FLESH TONES! Thank you.)

Josh: *Shudder*
Chico: Did we mention that the New York audition is this week?
Gordon: Just did :)
Chico: Okay, we're back, and it's time to wrap up this round of Push or Flush. Ready the toilet...
Gordon: (Loads the toilet)
Chico: First up...

SOLITARY 4.0 Fox Reality 10p Saturdays

PUSH

Josh: I'll say Push on Solitary. It's very addictive.
Chico: Very addictive. Great way to kill a network. PUSH.
Gordon: If FOX Reality is going out, this is the show to do it on. PUSH.
Chico: (Final Fantasy win)
Josh: Clean sweep
Chico: Yup. Next..

MINUTE TO WIN IT NBC March 14

FLUSH

Chico: This one has water-down written all over it. FLUSH.
Josh: I think a stunt show depends on the host. I dunno how Guy Fieri will do, so...
Chico: Guy Fieri's a great host.
Josh: Of a Food Show, yes.
Chico: The format stinks of burlap butt dress, though.
Josh: But we're going outside his area of expertise.
Chico: Basically.
Gordon: The host can be the best in the world, but they can't save a show if the execution is a poor rip-off clone. FLUSH.
Josh: Even though I think it's a ripoff, I'll give it a try. Pastry.
Chico: I stand by my FLUSH. Next...

STREETS OF AMERICA Travel March 14

FLUSH

Chico: ... I don't get it. It's a search for America's Worst Driver. Why would I want to find America's worst driver? FLUSH.
Gordon: Hey! Let's fake my abilities so I can get on a game show! Whoopie! FLUSH.
Josh: I think it's the end of Discovery's string of good games. Flush
Gordon: We have ...a clog.
Chico: Okay, gents... count it with me.
Chico: ONE...
Josh: TWO
Gordon: THREE!
Chico: PLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNGE!
Gordon: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Josh: ROTFLMFAO
Gordon: Next?
Chico: Next...

THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER Spike March 17

PUSH

Josh: PUSH! This format doesn't get old. Plus I am a fan of UFC
Chico: This is going to be hot. PUSH.
Gordon: It should be another year of people beating each other up and bloody goodness. PUSH.
Chico: And you love it, G.
Gordon: I do.
Josh: (Final Fantasy Victory)
Chico: Thank you. Next...

TOP CHEF MASTERS Bravo April 7

PUSH

Chico: Loved season 1. Will love season 2. PUSH.
Josh: Wasn't a fan of the scoring format but I was a fan of the talent! But then again, if the scoring format is my only complaint....I'll push.
Gordon: Didn't like the format either. But the chefs are amazingly good at what they do. Pastry.
Chico: Okay, so it's a push. One more...

DONALD J. TRUMP'S FABULOUS WORLD OF GOLF Golf April 26

FLUSH

Chico: Golfing competition on Trump's courses. Do we need more Trump? I mean, really The first couple of years were alright. Now we're getting a round of "I'm full of myself, look at my affluence". FLUSH this (^_^)!
Josh: If I want Golf, I'll watch the Masters....And Donald Trump again? FLUSH And put his bad hair down the toilet with it.
Gordon: Actually, I'm going to Push this. The Donald does know a thing or two about golf. As long as he is only the host and not a player, this could be fun.
Chico: Well, you'd be the only one.
Gordon: And I think the hair can be fun to see blow around on a windy day at the links.
Chico: HA!
Josh: So it's a flush then
Chico: Yep. Okay, one more break, and then it's Speed Round time. We'll be back.

(Brought to you by Whammy!: Uncaped. Ever wonder what the life of a big red cartoon devil bandit and his big red cartoon devil bandit family and friends must be like? .... Yeah, me neither)

Josh: We saw that in the 80s with the time filler cartoon. "That's Seven Cars, Three Jetskis and a Flokati Rug, YOU figure out where ta put 'em!"
Chico: Nice. So where do we put the Speed Round?
Josh: In the Big Bucks space
Gordon: Let's do it. Speed Round...NOW!
Chico: Runway. Are we forsaking Jesus this week?
Josh: I believe so.
Gordon: People in the bottom 2 after the first 2 weeks usually don't see episode 4. I think he may wind up being expunged.
Chico: Right. Seducing Cindy. Strike your fancy?
Josh: Not in the least. I have a girlfriend already, thank you very much.
Gordon: Cindy dating 71 year olds? Um...no.
Chico: Yeah, me neither for reasons already stated. The 71-year-old and the being spoken for. Solitary, though... I'm all about that. You guys?
Josh: Addictive, evil, and a great social experiment. It will end the network with a bang.
Gordon: I agree. Gordon finally gets to see Worst Cooks in America. Will he like what he sees?
Josh: Gordon, two words...RUN AWAY!
Chico: Gordon... do yourself a favor... After Iron Chef... play something. That RPG with the dude and the doll...That pinball collection...ANYTHING...
Gordon: La Pucelle Tactics?
Chico: Sure.
Josh: Follow our advice...
Gordon: What about email? I like reading email.
Chico: Me too.
Gordon: What do you got?
Chico: I got our friend Josh Johannesen.
Gordon: Hey Josh!
Josh: A fellow Josh.
Gordon: Hey Josh!

Josh: To me, Alfonso sincerely wants the contestants to win. Whether that's leading a contestant on, is something else.
Chico: I think Alfonso was being a little too hyper. He tends to do that sort of thing.
Gordon: Keep in mind that there's always strategic editing in shows, especially when it's there to make the host look good. There's no reason why it couldn't have been spliced in after the fact.
Chico: But then again, he sees the possibility of an 11 and wants the contestant to do the right thing. This doesn't necessarily mean that he knows what cards are coming up.
Josh: I would say that he wasn't leading the contestant to failure. It's still the contestant's decision.
Gordon: I agree with Josh.
Chico: There you go. That's the best way to put it.
Josh: :-)
Gordon: I agree. Thanks Josh J. One more letter before we go, and it's from Corbinq27:

Gordon: Hi Corbin. First of all, thanks for being a fan.
Josh: I actually liked the show's format. It needed tweaking, but it was a good format. I saw a lot of useless things like the isolation booths.
Chico: And as to the other opinion...GET'EM, G! :-)
Gordon: As a format, it's not awful. The problem is two-fold. 1. GSN had no imagination when it came to the lists or the questions and 2. it insisted that it had to put everything as a self-contained game in a 60 minute format.
Gordon: That killed the pacing of the show, which ran way too long. They should have just kept the action going, regardless.
Chico: Agreed. The problem wasn't with the game, so much as the presentation.
Josh: Agreed. As to why it failed... Three Letters...BS (N)
Chico: I guarantee you that if the show aired 25 years ago, it wouldn't have gone down like that.
Gordon: There's a lot you could have done with it. They didn't do anything with it except make it Auction on Tic Tac Dough. Thanks for the letter. Now lets's say I have a letter. And I want to email it in. Where do I send it to?
Chico: wlti@gameshownewsnet.com. Or look for us on Facebook, Myspace, or GSNN's Video Wall channel.
Josh: Um, gents, may I take 30 seconds to talk serious for a bit?
Chico: Normally we'd end the show with "Watch This, Not That", but... Alright.
Josh: *steps on a soapbox* The Earthquake in Haiti put a country that was in Dire straits in an even worse situation. While the Telethon on 1-22-10 was a great effort, it needs to be continued. And you don't need to do much in the way of a donation. If you want to help, log on to www.hopeforhaitinow.org.  This group will funnel your money into several trusted charities, including The Clinton/Bush Haiti fund and the American Red Cross. I bet if all our readers donated at least $5, there would be a great impact. Please donate. Thank you.
Josh: *steps off the soapbox*
Chico: Agreed.
Gordon: Just remember that although we celebrate Christmas Eve as the night to be good to all man, you can do something good on the other 364 days, too.
Chico: If we all do a little... we can all do a lot.
Josh: Amen, brother.
Gordon: Exactly. And on that note, we end the show. Special thanks to Agent Josh for showing up today.
Josh: An honor and a pleasure as always.
Chico: Hope to see you next week. Until then, for Gordon, Josh, and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander... Game over, and spread the love.