Episode 26.3 - Hollywood Is Dead
January 24

Josh: YES!
Gordon: I could think of worse judges, but we'll leave that for another show. Right now, we have our very own advisor, Dr. Chico. Why Chico, you're looking incredibly bald and sexy this evening.
Chico: Hold on... *puts on papaya hat* Okay, now I'm sexy. I'm ready to field your questions...
Josh: You lost me at the bakery.
Gordon: Let me explain to Josh and Joe. We take emails and give them to Chico, who answers them. For example:

Dear Dr. Chico -

What up, Dawg? I have my friends Jennifer and Steve and we have to judge new talent. What's the best advice I can give them?

Signed, Randy.

Chico: Thanks, Dawg. Love your sweaters, by the way.
Josh: Ah.
Chico: Be firm... Be fair... Be brutal. Be honest. And remember... you're not there to be their friend. You're their to scare them into doing the right thing. See Cowell, Simon... Morgan, Piers... or anyone on "Dancing with the Stars".
Gordon: Thanks Chico. Who has a letter for the doctor?
Josh: *lights flicker and a generic email sound plays* I think I got one here.
Gordon: Ok Josh. Let's hear it.

Dear Dr. Chico -

Since I am retiring from LIVE, I was wondering if you had any suggestions for a new TV project I could take on. It's gotta be something that can keep my attention, and not have me waking up too early.

Signed, Upcoming TV retiree.

Chico: Upcoming TV retiree... Big fan, by the way... Have you thought about returning to primetime television on a once-per-week basis? You can sleep in in the mornings and all you need to do is show up 20 days a season. And they pay you HANDSOMELY. Just putting that out there. Keep yourself busy.
Gordon: Thank you Dr. Chico. I believe Joe has the next one?
Joe: Indeed
Gordon: Let's hear it.

Dear Dr. Chico:

I'm glad that people are interested in big balls, but I worry that that's all they'll want to watch. I'm trying to offer Sharks and action-filled chases, but I'm still concerned that all people will want is to see more balls. Any words of encouragement to make me feel less anxious?

Signed, Man of the Mouse

Chico: I say stick with what works. Big balls translates to gold. Sharks are not as big as we thought they were going to be. And chases... well, they never turn out the way we want them to. Doesn't bode well for giant yellow balls with smiles on their faces either.
Joe: But love always seems to find a way, doesn't it, Chico? ;)
Chico: Funny how that always turns out... And dancing... is ALWAYS cool.
Josh: *lights flash and a generic email sound plays*
Chico: I believe that's Gordon.
Gordon: Actually, I think Josh has the next one.
Josh: Sorry, my computer...you know how it is.
Gordon: What do you got, Josh?

Dear Dr. Chico -

I am rebooting a very successful reality show franchise on a new network, running it in tandem with a very successful sports-entertainment program. Can you give me a few tips on how I can make sure this doesn't end up as a web-only program like "NXT"?

Signed, Chairman in Stanford, Connecticut

Chico: Thanks, Chairman. You want to make it a success? Put the work in it. Make it about the players... Make it about the game. Forget all the superfluous stuff. Keep it simple. You want an example? Ultimate Fighter. Then, and only then will you be Tough Enough.
Josh: :-)
Gordon: Very nice. I think Joe has the next email.
Chico: Oh no, I know what THAT means =p
Gordon: I think you do :)
Josh: *ahem* Decorum, Gentlemen.
Gordon: Joe, next one?
Joe: Yey, verily

Sup, doc?

So after two failed tries, I'm getting a third batch of chumps to try and dupe into giving me a million bucks. You got anything to help me redeem (get it?) myself and my past failures?

Signed, InYourHantz

Chico: Well, IYH... You can try not to try so hard. You're a skilled gamer. You don't need to force everything to go your way. Then you overplay your hand, and then... forget survival. Other than that, there's nothing else I can help you with. And that leads us to the man with the smirk on his face.
Gordon: What smirk would that be?
Josh: *points to Gordon* Not me.
Joe: Should we be sitting down for this?
Chico: probably
Gordon: You mean this email that I have in my hand?
Chico: That email right there.
Gordon: Well I'll read it then.

Dear Dr, Chico -

I know that I am the choice of Season 2 of The Ultimate Merger. Since I know how big of a fan you were with Omorosa being on Season 1, I was wondering if you could give me advice as to what I need to do for you to like my dating show and perhaps be able to get to explore my catwalk, you bald and sexy beast.

Love, Toccara.

Gordon: (starts humming 'I Know You Want Me' by Pitbull)
Chico: (Glares at Gordon) Two words. Don't speak.
Gordon: Oh come on. She likes you.
Chico: I'm a professional. I stand by my answer. :-) The best way to your man's heart is not to speak.
Gordon: I'm sure that if you invited her to White Castle, she'd share a sack with you.
Chico: And on that bombshell, it's time for a break. When we return, Gordon's got one question.... What. Happens. First?
Gordon: First...we go to break.

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Chico: We're gonna get letters.
Gordon: Probably.
Chico: Welcome back. This is We Love to Interrupt... Game show news... with bite.
Josh: *CHOMP*
Jason: YO!
Gordon: And we are joined by one Jason Block.
Jason: Hello all!
Chico: Hey Jason! You missed brown sauce action. Posted it on my Facebook, though.
Jason: I saw. Nice.
Gordon: So let's get back to the show and play some What Happens First.
Jason: Alright.
Chico: Okay, Gordon, start it.
Gordon: We start with this...

What happens first - a Jeopardy Champion wins 5 times, or Watson wins once?

Chico: Watson wins once.
Jason: A Jeopardy champion wins 5 times. Rutter will win.
Josh: I'll put my money on Watson.
Joe: We've only got a couple of weeks before the special, and I believe in the church of Cyberdyne
Gordon: I'll go with Jeopardy Champion, because there's almost a month between now and Feb 14th. That being said, I think Watson could make a couple of believers over in Skynet.
Jason: I still say Watson will fail. It will be competitive as hell, but Skynet will lose LOL
Chico: He'll be back.
Joe: 15 shows
Chico: Next...

What happens first: Love Triangle bombs or another BETTER GSN original gets renewed?

Josh: I'll go off the board and say they happen at the same time. J/k
Jason: Better GSN program gets renewed.
Josh: I'll say the Better program gets renewed, in fact I will go as far to say that it will be Drew Carey's Improv-a-ganza that will be renewed.
Chico: I'll buy that.
Jason: Me too.
Joe: I don't see GSN's current stable of hits losing steam. Of course, how long has it been since we've seen a new episode of Lingo?
Chico: Four years.
Josh: We'll be seeing new Lingo's soon.
Joe: Yeah :/ I'll still go with numbers and say a renewal happens
Gordon: Original gets renewed. I don't think that Love Triangle is going to bomb.
Josh: Original Gets Renewed. In fact it will be Improv-a-ganza.
Chico: K. Next?
Gordon: Next one...

What happens first: American Idol moves out of the way from Dancing With the Stars, or FOX moves Glee away from DWTS?

Chico: Idol. Glee's not going anywhere.
Josh: Idol. Right now, Glee is their Golden Idol.
Jason: Idol without question. Idol is in DEEP TROUBLE.
Joe: Honestly, I could see pairing off Idol with Glee, so both could move at once.
Gordon: I think they should do it. I also think they move Glee to do so once DWTS pummels it.
Chico: We shall see. Next...

What happens first: Disney gives up on its Millionaire appeal or Millionaire gets cancelled?

Jason: Disney gives up on the appeal. I don't get it, but ratings are holding.
Josh: Cancellation. A big corporation does not give up quite so easily. (I see Millionaire being on for a very long time, mind you)
Gordon: Disney gives up. With the syndie market the way that it is. Millionaire can keep dropping at long as it stays above a 2.0. They seem to be ok there.
Joe: This sounds like two of the same choice, since both will end up being cause and effect.
Chico: Disney gives up.
Gordon: Next one...

What happens first: Someone besides hot Guy with a guitar wins American Idol or the Jets win the Super Bowl?

Chico: Jets win the Super Bowl.
Jason: Jets win the Super Bowl.
Josh: Hot guy. Sorry, STEELERS ALL THE WAY!
Gordon: I'll say someone else. If I'm Idol, I make sure we don't have HGWG (TM) as one of the choices.
Joe: I'll go off the board and say a girl wins this year. Guy and Jets win next year
Chico: Can't control the vote, though.
Joe: Maybe this is the real reason for the bloated Hollywood round? More cherries to pick?
Chico: Perhaps, but I'm not counting on it.
Jason: Me Neither.
Gordon: Idol desperately needs to have much better talent. Increasing the options is one way to do just that.
Jason: I agree.
Chico: Yup.
Joe: So my answer is technically Jets, but in 2012 (heard it here first)
Josh: Thank you and good night, Joe Mello
Gordon: Last one?
Chico: Last one...

"Live with Ryan and Kelly" or "And now here's the host of Jeopardy!... Jeff Probst!"

Jason: Jeopardy with Probst. Consuelos will get the gig.
Josh: Jeopardy.
Joe: Can I say "Jets winning the Super Bowl" again? :P
Josh: STEELERS!
Joe: They'll win this year. Jets next year
Gordon: Uncle Jeffy hosts Jeopardy. It's a natural progression.
Joe: Anyway, Probst, though I don't see either of them happening (unless Ryan Reynolds decides on a career change)
Jason: That's Seacrest correct?
Joe: yes, but I'm being technical :P
Chico: Correct. And besides, Ryan Reynolds has summers booked until 2017 if Green Lantern does well... and it will.
Gordon: And with that, we're done with this segment. Speed Round coming up next!

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Jason: Ok then LOL
Chico: With Jonathan Mangum as his voice. Awesome.
Josh: Yikes, now that is more of a nightmare. Without Jonathan Mangum, I mean.
Chico: Okay, short preview of coming events. Next week, we review Face-Off... and give a mid-season syndicated report ... PLUS the statistic that may have cost Barbara Bloom her job. That's next week's show.
Josh: You tease!
Chico: I do.
Gordon: Should be fun. So is the Speed Round...now! Idol - do we see the winner this week?
Jason: Nope.
Joe: nah
Gordon: Nopers.
Chico: Nope.
Josh: Nuh-uh
Chico: good, but not memorable... or complete nutter. That's it.
Gordon: Jeopardy - we see a 5 timer before Watson shows up?
Josh: Nope.
Jason: I think so
Joe: we have 15 shows to go....I don't see it
Chico: Nope. Anthony is as close as we'll get.
Gordon: I think we see the start of it at the end of this week.
Chico: Money Drop takes the week off for President Obama this week. Will we see it next week?
Jason: Nope.
Joe: Probably
Gordon: One last time.
Jason: The show is tainted.
Josh: Sorry, but no. Tainted, boring.
Gordon: Think it ends with a nice $300,000 win and then Glee comes in and takes over.
Chico: Okay, let's take a look at our Facebook Wall. Last week, we asked if you were planning on watching Idol this year. This is what Keith Schleicher had to say...

“

Keith Schleicher I probably won't since Wednesday night is my bowling night and they changed it so that the singing night will be on that night. (The results show is pretty pointless and really didn't watch it before.)

”

Jason: Thats what DVRs are for
Gordon: Yay, bowling! :)
Jason: But yes, yay bowling :)
Josh: A smart man. He obviously has something better to do with his time than watch a stupid show like American Idol.
Chico: I'll take bowling... and improv mini-golf... over this year's Idol.
Joe: improv mini-golf?
Chico: It's like anything goes martial arts... only with mini-golf.
Joe: .......k. Anyway, Wednesday night is Mythbusters Night in America
Chico: Minute to Win It, dude. Granted it's also on Fridays, but so is 1000 Ways to Die.
Gordon: Thanks for the response, Keith. Now we have this week's question...

“

BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION! We talked about either Jeff Probst or Neil Patrick Harris being the new host of Jeopardy once Alex Trebek steps down. Who SHOULD it be? One of them or someone else?

”

Chico: Check out the wall on facebook.com/wlti.gsnn to answer, or toss an e-mail to wlti@gameshownewsnet.com
Gordon: And that ends the show this week. Special thanks to Jason, Josh and Joe for joining us today.
Joe: No prob
Josh: An honor and a pleasure as always.
Jason: Always good to be here.
Chico: Back next week with more of the good stuff. Until then for Gordon and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander... game over... and spread the love!